- Member Since 22nd Aug, 2017
- offline last seen Aug 6th, 2023
New Fossil Studios
I'm just your basic comic book, anime, cartoon, and book fanatic with a lot of unique and creative ideas. I'm always free to chat and would love to make friends and exchange ideas. PS: I'm Muslim
Sequels1
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New Fossil Studios · 1.8k words · 134 views
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Suggestion- your description needs to be reviewed.
Try expanding on the background. It seems that the character is just a psychopath who wants nothing more than blood in the flashbacks, it turns what could be a great story. However, without development or just a glimpse of their life before "Jackass" and more on the family and what hey have put them through, the story doesn't hold much merit other than, "This character killed their family because of vague notions of torture from their past."
Honestly, that's the only problem I have with this story. The present text could be read (I'm not sure if this is what you were going for) as a grim noir detective mystery, and that, for me, is what makes me 'like' this story. I would 'love' this if there was, like I said before, more development on characters history.
8469340
To be honest, this is one story in a line of 6, I'm just gonna give a brief explanation of the characters and then expand on it in a multi-chapter story.
8470182
In that case, I cant wait to see what you do next! ^_^
8471508
The next story is A Game Of Checkers.