• Member Since 18th Nov, 2014
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago


Writer from the windswept Isle of Man

Comments ( 68 )

Awesome. Very gripping first chapter.

Every journey starts with a first step, trite but true, even here... Who'm I kidding? This is an amazing leap! <3 Glad to see it taken <3 :pinkiehappy:

Congrats on getting your first story live, Duvet!! May this be just the first of many!

This was an incredibly fun project. And I have to say, this is probably the most "edge of your seat" story I've read in some time. :rainbowderp:
Filled with all sorts of :pinkiegasp: moments!
And :fluttershbad: and :applecry: moments!
And :twilightoops: moments!
Even a couple :pinkiesick: moments!

Loved it! :heart:

Nice start, maybe we're thrown in a bit quickly into whatever's happening, but I assume further chapters will show what's up.
Or is this maybe a sequel/in-universe fic to something I've missed?

Anyway, I'm tracking for now, looking good so far.


I wrote a very short prequel to the story if you want to check it out. It doesn't spoil Duvet's story, though. Just adds a bit of insight to what has been going on in the story's premise. :twilightsmile:


sounds freaking amazing, how long to you figure this story to be?

The story is just shy of 30k words.

Plenty of blood, drama and mayhem ahead!

Haven't read the story yet, but it seems right up my alley. This requires a deeper look... :trixieshiftright:

30K!!! thats it ewww man it needs at least 200k man it sounds like it has potential

Oh the tale is far from over when this story ends...:pinkiecrazy:

Yeah, It's just the introduction to this alt-U. There are a lot of ideas flying around how things might go afterward.

Ahh, Malice. Brief but extremely satisfying.
The characterization in this chapter is a work of art!

Ah, little sunset and her ego
What could possibly go wrong...

Things are already pretty bleak at this point... as it should be. :pinkiesmile:

Uh, when did Shining buy it? I thought Dash was lugging him around?

Shining died in the first chapter. The story then flashbacked 12 hours. Events have finally caught up and gone past the events of chapter one.

Oh okay, I was wondering there. :rainbowlaugh:

Congrats on getting your first story finished, Duvet! :pinkiehappy:

It has been quite a ride.

Couldn't have done it without ya!:twilightsmile:

This was a nice story my only mean comment about this is you squel baiting ass i hate cliffhanger this needs more if you feel up to that is :twilightblush:

lol yeah. Well, this was only ever meant to be an introduction to this alt-Universe. Believe me when I say that Duvet and BDK have both discussed at great length on my Discord server the possible future events which will go down here. There is quite a bit of lore they've packed into the AU. I look forward to seeing what he comes up with.

At the moment, however, we're all cracking the whip to get him focused on his WIP Flurry Heart Sci-Fi story. :trollestia:

and twilight comes back with rainbow and nightmare/luna, full of blood saying "WE'RE HOOOOOMMMMEEEE!!!!"

Comment posted by fanreader999999 deleted Jul 11th, 2018


I hope you update this with a notice when the next one comes out for like a week.

"I'm the goddamned Moon Princess ..."

Considering this, Luna seems to be about halfway between sanity and full-blown Nightmare. She is capable of mercy, gratitude and affection, but it's all at a hysterical pitch, as if she's still not entirely self-controlled. The difference is that Luna hasn't actually been cleansed by the Elements; she's mostly acting on her own natural motivations, but her soul is still gripped by Nightmare.

She was entirely herself smashing the Umbra, though. Sane-Luna fighting and Nightmare-Luna fighting is still pretty much the same. And, in either case, utterly awesome.

I wonder if Pinkamena survived? The members of her family are among the few non-Alicorn Ponies I could see surviving a fall into the canyon while in close combat with one of your Umbra. By reasonable implication, she'd already survived such combat with many of them before, which means she's both fast enough when in her berserkergangen to only sometimes be hit, and tough enough that attacks which would literally tear most Ponies to bits merely score her hide. I wouldn't entirely count her out.

Thank you for the insightful comment! Ah, Luna and the Nightmare, you are right in that they both exist together rather than one having outright control. It means our Moon Princess flits between her normal self and the Nightmare making her dangerously unpredictable.

As for Pinkie, her fate will be revealed in the next installment:pinkiecrazy:

This has some attack on titan feels to it and im loving it

Dun dunnnnnnnn!!!

Wow, was that June? Time flies.

Anyway, finally got around to reading this. Really liking this AU. Aside from the obvious much darker setting, the small twists to canon here and there for it all to fit together are appreciated. So far no magical-instant-solution, aka Elements of Harmony, but rather old ancient magic and rituals keeping the universe going. I like it.

You have gained a thumb, fave' and a follower.

Last moments before the fall...

Excellent story.
This UA promises:
-a relationship between Luna, rainbow and original twilight
-the vision of the two princesses on the world (with their ambitions of course)
I have to forget about it but it is on, if there is continuation, I take without hesitation.:rainbowdetermined2:

Malice hmm? Green Spines and purple scales hmmmmmmm?!

Very good job on both the pacing and the atmosphere in this chapter, a very intriguing opening into this AU. Sadly other duties require my attention now, but I hope to continue reading soon!

Love this chapter, both romance and passion in one bold move.

Please tell me there is a sequel in the works. :fluttercry:

That there is:pinkiehappy:
I'm currently working on another big story that's nearly done. So you'll have double the stories


And thanks for the news. :twilightsmile:

If the main OCs in this story were voiced, what would they sound like?

Imagine a similar cast to the squad from Aliens. Ocean Breeze is obvious a female Hudson
Brumbar would have definitely been voiced by Michael Clarke Duncan.

Just a question. Why is it marked as complete, if it's anything but? Who's the Umbra, who's behind the Umbra, what will Luna?nightmare do? Too many questions...

Login or register to comment