• Published 23rd Apr 2017
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Magic School Days - Dogger807



When the CMC asked Discord to help them attend magic school, he pulled an owl out of his hat. Only he didn't exactly have a hat. Which was okay, since their new school had a singing one laying around. Where the hay was Hogwarts anyway?

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Chapter 74: Languish, Larceny and Love

As she sat, flanked by classmates, Sue Li morosely nibbled at cake and sipped punch both of which were far better than anything she'd ever received from a house elf. She sighed. If ever she had needed affirmation that she was not meant to be a Gryffindor, she now knew that she needn't look any further.

Things had started promisingly enough. Borne on the flames of Sweetie Belle's phoenix, Sue Li had arrived to find that Padma had brought her to the modest cottage where Mandy and Padma's Gryffindor friends were waiting. Sue and Mandy had been taken aback when they were approached by a mint green unicorn who asked whether they needed rings to change. After a bit of explanation, the girls had accepted the fulfillment of one of their fondest wishes.

Still, it had been unsettling when everyone else was betting on what their transfigured forms would be. Mandy had become something comparatively mundane, a robin's egg blue unicorn with a royal blue mane and tail. Sue Li's transformation, on the other hand, had left everyone baffled.

The girl, without a doubt, had become some sort of unicorn. What sort of unicorn she was, no one knew. Her mane resembled that of a lion, complete with the beard. Her tawny coat had mahogany scales covering the top of her body from the tip of her muzzle all the way back to the base of her tail. Her tail was also leonine, with the tuft running along the bottom for the full length. Her hooves were cloven like that of a goat.

Her new horn was beyond strange. It clearly wasn't the graceful spiral that Granger, Finnigan, and a few others sported. Tracy had said it looked like a wind-swept tree branch that someone had decided to decorate with a couple of chevrons at its base. The way it forked into two uneven tines had left Sue wondering whether she could channel magic with it.

Sue's mood continued to sour as she reflected on the jaunt from the cottage to the party. When they had passed the large tree that housed the town's library, Sue had attempted to continue the charming custom that her father had taught her for such occasions. She had scarcely managed three bars of the book appreciation song when she was silenced by a fusillade of snowballs. This had led to two discoveries. The first was that the town must be inhabited by bibliophobes. The second was that her newly-formed hooves offered no traction on ice.

Upon joining the party, she had found yet another cloud for her silver lining. Potter's cousin had made a subdued entrance in human form. The conflict between the two had reduced the boy to tears as he retreated to a corner of the room where he had petted a gray unicorn filly. Sue had hoped that Potter would forgive him soon; the fat boy had looked completely miserable.

Despite the fly in the ointment, Sue had found the rest of the party to be unexpectedly delightful, with something for every age group. Now that she was the size of her equine peers, she felt like she truly belonged. She had just started to enjoy the party fully when a satchel-wearing owl had materialized from an orthogonal dimension. It had circled the room once before homing in on Brown.

The party had come to a stop when the pouch rudely regurgitated an older boy whom Sue had not recognized. That was when the bottom had dropped out.

The boy had been a herald with dark tidings. Brown's parents had been attacked, and they had been taken to St. Mungo's. While the boy had said that Mrs. Brown was in stable condition, he had also reported that Mr. Brown was at death's door. That had brought the party to a screeching halt, even as the boy, the pink hostess, Lavender, Parvati, Sweetie, and Abigail had piled into the satchel.

The Ponyville natives had dispersed shortly after the owl had departed, leaving behind the Hogwarts students who now sat around a refreshment table. Talk had turned to wild speculation as to what might have befallen Lavender's parents. When Sue had turned to get Sweetie's opinion, the girl had made a startling discovery. Her ride home had left with the owl.


Soft hoofbeats reverberated through the vacant hallway in Canterlot General Hospital as Extra Dose trotted toward the exit at the end of an exhausting day. The resident had every intention of crawling directly into her soft bed as soon as she made it home. The standard twenty-four hour shift was a burden under the best of conditions. Serving as a guide for Dr. Splint and Healer Yates had instantly tripled her workload. The two had stuck their muzzles into every case, proposing treatment plans and comparing notes. Dose had readily recognized the benefits that the human's differing background had provided, and each side offered courses of treatment that the other had never imagined. Still, Dose had found the towering human more than a little intimidating, even more than the minotaurs. His prominent canines marked him as a predator who might appreciate having pony on the menu.

The crimson flare of flames barely registered on her fatigued mind. A soft hand on her muzzle caught her attention. She looked up at a little human with a red bird on her shoulder.

"Are you a doctor?" the child anxiously asked, shaking Extra Dose from her thoughts.

“Yes.”

“Come with me.”

*Foooom!*


The slumbering canopies in the orchards of Sweet Apple Acres would have sighed in relief if they could talk. Broken branches littered the ground over the snow that had been dislodged. The farm took on an orange tinge as the sun retired.

“It’s starting to get hard to see,” Twilight observed. “Maybe we should call it quits for the night. I’m sure Pinkie’s party is well underway.”

“Just one more try,” Applejack said, mounting her broom once again. “Ah can’t let Granny show me up so badly.”

“Why don’t you scold your broom like Granny did with the one she was riding?” Rainbow asked. “That worked for her.”

“I’m pretty sure she scarred that poor thing for life.” Twilight shuddered. “In some ways she’s scarier than Fluttershy.”

“Ahem!”

The three mares stopped their conversation to look over and wonder how the large red stallion had managed to sneak up on them.

“Oh my gosh!” Twilight exclaimed. “Big Mac, we forgot all about the meeting! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”


The surgery in the Animal Health and Welfare Centre was abuzz with excitement. Sally Pence could hardly believe all the surprises that had been uncovered. To be honest, it was actually just one surprise drawn out. One of the regulars had called in with another unicorn sighting. The old woman had claimed that her neighbors were keeping them as pets.

To curtail the mounting paperwork, the manager on duty had dispatched a team to humor the old biddy. He had hoped that would persuade her to stop calling. After all, there were no laws against owning unicorns.

The field team had decided to follow the frump as she rushed upstairs to a room where they could peer into her neighbors' back yard. She had claimed the animals were out exercising. To the team's surprise, there were two miniature horses enthusiastically trotting laps around the garden. Had they been normal horses, the case would have ended there. However, there was obviously something suspicious. No horse would naturally have a coat in such a bright shade of yellow or orange. No horse would naturally have what had to be a prosthetic protruding from its forehead.

The whinging woman had insisted that they take action. She had pointed out the passage in a book on horse care specifying the minimum exercise necessary to maintain a horse's health and noted that the unicorns rarely had a chance to stretch their legs. She had insisted that the government had to take custody of such unique animals. Although the team had no legal cause to intervene, they could not in good conscience leave what might be abuse victims without confirming their status.

The team had decided to take advantage of the coming snowstorm. They would claim that the animals had escaped and that they had been taken into custody for their welfare. A physical examination would both give them the proof that the equines were simply disguised pets and provide them with the ammunition needed to compel the owners to treat the animals properly.

Technically, removing the animals was already a felony, so tranquilizing the beasts first would hardly add to the offense. The operator had insisted that this had been the most expedient way to get them out of the yard. Besides, no jury in the world would convict them once they showed the sort of abuse the owners had inflicted.

A cursory examination had revealed no sign of makeup; no seams could be felt around the horn. More troubling, however, had been that the roots of the hairs were the same color as the rest of the coat. A look at the skin underneath had shown it to be a healthy pink.

A decision had been made to confront the owners, but they were nowhere to be found. It was inconceivable that the animals had simply been let out, unattended. However, the team had found the back door to be unlocked, and there was no pet door. Surely, the unicorns could not have opened the door by themselves.

The next decision had been to leave a notice on the door and bring the animals in for a thorough examination. They had already qualified for an extended stay at a Queen's Resort, so adding another charge would hardly make a difference. Besides, who could resist the chance to examine unicorns?

The surgery had been cleared for the examinations. The obvious first target had been the horns. To Sally's surprise, even in the warm room, she could not feel a seam. A magnifying glass had brought them no closer to discovering how the horns had been attached. The veterinarians had crowded around the x-rays as soon as they had been developed.

That’s when the bottom dropped out.

The bloody horns weren’t prosthetics. They were real!

Sally strongly suspected that some private, secret laboratory had developed gene manipulation on a level undisclosed to the general public, especially since an initial examination had shown the pair to be significantly different than other miniature horses. Their eyes were way too big; that was sure to cause complications. The absurd colors were natural, or unnatural, however you looked at it. The most striking aberration was the way their legs were jointed unlike anything imagined on an equine.

Whatever was going on, the department had just stepped in it.

The veterinarians had just extracted a blood sample from the female when the next oddity had occurred.

“Bark!”

Sally looked up. “Is that a snowy owl?” she asked no one in particular.

“It’s wearing a pouch,” her assistant, Bobby, observed.

“Is that a snowy owl wearing a pouch?” Sally corrected.

“Bark!”

“I wasn’t asking you.”

The owl seemed to take offense at those words. It flapped into the air and flew toward a wall only to disappear right before colliding with it.

“What the actual bloody f . . .” her other assistant, Bill, started to demand.

“Language!” Sally snapped. Then, after a pause, she mused, “I wonder if that had anything to do with the unicorns we have.”

“A strange owl wearing a pouch shows up to watch us examine a pair of undocumented unicorns, then proceeds to break several laws of physics,” Bill said. “I can’t see how those two things could possibly be related.”

“What’s going on?” Sally asked, turning her attention back to her patient lying on the operating table.

“I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation,” Bobby offered.

“Would you like to make that a bet?” Bill asked.

Before anyone could say that the day couldn’t get any weirder, the door to the hallway opened and Marcy, another veterinarian, stuck her head into the room. “Guys!" she called out. "You’re not going to believe the news.”

“Let me guess,” Bill snarked. “They’re announcing that magic is real, so are dragons, elves and fairies.”

“Oh.” Marcy deflated. “You’ve already heard.”

“What?” Bobby sputtered. “He was just joking.”

“You can't believe that I would think for a minute that you pulled that out of the blue,” Marcy countered. “It’s all over the news; you probably had a radio going or something.”

“No, seriously,” Sally interjected. “They’re saying magic is real on the telly?”

“Yup.” Marcy nodded. “They’ve been keeping it secret for God knows how long. They send out people to wipe your mind if you witness anything funny or see a mystical creature.”

As one, Bobby, Sally, and Bill turned to look at the occupant on the table. “I wonder how many times they’ve scrubbed our brains?” Bobby asked.

“Oh wow!” Marcy exclaimed. “Is that a unicorn?”

“Yes,” Sally said weakly. “We may have acquired her through some questionable means.”

“That explains why you haven’t gone home ahead of the storm. It’s monkeys outside,” Marcy said. “Besides, you do know that it’s an alien from another dimension. Apparently, there is a refugee program by our magical folk that’s been going on for an unknown amount of time.”

“Now you’re just taking a piss,” Bobby accused. “You really had us going there for a minute.”

“What’s going on?” a voice called from the still-occupied carry crate. “Let me out of here or I'll sue your pants off!”

“We are so buggered,” Bill noted.


In the living room of her posh apartment, Elisa Bates surveyed the foals who had poured out of Hedwig’s pouch. She frowned. “Hello children. Where’s Abigail?”

“She went with Lavender to St. Mungo's.” Hermione said. “There’s been an attack and her parents have been hospitalized.”

“How horrible,” Elisa gasped. “What happened?”

“They think it was a werewolf,” Seamus said, “except it’s not a full moon out.”

Elisa turned to one of her goblin guards. “Is there any way you guys can look into this?”

The guard snapped to attention. “An assault team will be dispatched immediately.” he said before exiting the room.

“I’m going to head to the hospital; will you lot be able to floo home on your own?”

“We were going to my house,” Hermione offered. “I have no idea why Hedwig brought us here instead.”

“Bark!”

“I guess Harry’s owl is defective,” Seamus said.

The owl in question huffed before flying away.

“You hurt her feelings.” Luna accused.

“I’ll apologize to her later.” Seamus shrugged. “Right now, I want to get home and check on my own parents.”

“I guess we’ll be catching the bus,” Dean said, also shrugging and gesturing toward his sisters.

“You’ll be doing no such thing.” Elisa countered. “Call your parents and let them know you’ll be weathering the storm here.”

“You have a phone?” Dean perked up.

“Yes,” Elisa said, walking toward the floo. “There’s one in the kitchen. Just ask the goblins if you need anything. I’ll be back later with Abigail, and we’ll make a sleepover out of it.”


A new wrinkle had been added to the pandemonium of St. Mungo's. “Where is she now?” one healer asked another wearily.

“Last time I saw her, she was in the ward for irrevocable spell damage, throwing a party for the patients. She pulled a cake out of her hair and everything.”

“Hopefully that keeps her busy for a while. I’ve got frosting in crevices I didn’t know I had. By the way, I believe the proper term is 'mane'.”

“I believe I’m going to scream the next time I meet a pink pony.”

“Why’s that?”

“She started singing.”

“So?”

“Everyone couldn’t help joining in, just like they say happened with those women at the bank.”

“Really?”

“And I mean everyone, including some patients who shouldn’t of had the capacity.”

A soft chuckle followed. “It couldn’t have been that bad.”

“I think I threw out my back.”


The crisp night air chilled the outside of their coats as Twilight and Rainbow Dash walked the early evening streets of Ponyville. Both ponies were studying the ground more than anything else as they headed in the direction of Sugarcube Corner.

“I can’t believe we just got reamed out by Big Mac,” Twilight bemoaned as she shambled through the snow.

“He hardly said a word,” Rainbow said.

“That only makes it worse.”

Rainbow, also walking on the ground for once, agreed. “I can’t believe we forgot about him and the meeting.”

“How could we be so irresponsible?” Twilight hung her head in shame. “This was important and we left Big Mac to handle it by himself.”

“We’ll make it up to him somehow,” Rainbow stated.

“At least that’s the worse scolding I’m likely to get anytime soon.” The lavender unicorn sighed.

“Twilight Sparkle!”

With a snap, Twilight and Rainbow lifted their heads and beheld Twilight’s mother, father and brother. All of them were glaring with scowls. Meanwhile, Clouded Hope rode on her father’s back, looking disturbed.

“One,” Rainbow said, “you have a real knack for that, and two, I see you get the whole flaming mane deal from your mother.”

In the distance, a lonely bugle sounded the plaintive notes of "Last Post".


In a cozy cottage dedicated to fauna, a snowy owl appeared from an orthogonal dimension.

“Bark!”

“Oh my, that’s terrible!”

“Bark!”

“Are you sure?”

“Bark! Bark!”

“Thank you for bringing that right to me. I’ll go get the girls. I’m sure Twilight will know what to do.”


The guards' mess lacked both the size and the grandeur of the main banquet hall. However, it was still a roomy and private space, perfect for an informal meal away from the trappings of government. Petunia Dursley had feared the worst when she was escorted into the room, but her anxiety faded when she found herself facing a smiling white winged unicorn who was flanked by her current companion, Rarity. A few gentle words to the guards clarified the Dursleys' status and defused the situation.

With the guards now standing at ease, Petunia carefully listened as the three rulers introduced themselves. Celestia was in the middle, Luna was to her sister's right, and Cadance was to Celesta's left. As the scents of the desserts wafted her way, Petunia could not help but think the three were Neapolitan.

Despite Celestia's assurances, Petunia found that she could not enjoy herself as she found herself the target of a stink eye that an elderly pegasus kept casting her way.

“That seems like a lot of effort to go through just to throw a surprise party,” Celestia said before taking another bite from her salad.

“It’s for the foals,” Rarity said. “The looks on their faces will make it worth the effort. Besides, this does mean they get to spend their vacation time together.”

Celestia swallowed. “True enough.” She then turned to the mute human at the table. “Will you be attending with your son? I think it would be a perfect opportunity for him to reconcile with his cousin. I know they have an unpleasant history, but this could be the best opportunity for them to even consider mending their relationship.”

Petunia put down her smoothie and nodded her head in agreement.

“Auntie,” Cadance said, “I’ve been meaning to ask. Since I arrived late, I don’t know why she can’t talk right now.”

“The doctor says she mustn't speak for twenty-four hours to allow her burned throat to heal properly,” Rarity supplied.

“That’s awful,” Cadance said. “How did that happen?”

“Fire whisky,” Rarity said.

“Fire whisky? Might you spare a taste?” Celestia asked. “After that first sample, I have been craving more of that exquisite ambrosia.”

“We think not, sister,” Princess Luna said.

Celestia pouted. "It's a perfectly harmless indulgence -- with the proper precautions."

“If we cannot indulge in the divine nectar that is espresso, then thou must also refrain from imbibing fire whisky,” Luna said firmly.

“I am sorry, Princess,” Rarity interjected. “But my friends have seen fit to confiscate my reserve.”

“How did you manage to burn your throat with fire whisky?” Cadance was still confused. “Did you inhale by accident?”

“Twilight says it’s because her innate magic was blocked,” Rarity said. “She did fix that, though.”

“That is good,” Celestia said as the doors opened to admit what looked like a small earth pony family ushered in by a pair of guards.

“Ah, our other guests arrive,” Luna said. “We do hope the damages did not approach the same levels as yesterday.”

“Your highnesses.” The stallion stepped forward to talk for the group. “I apologize; it was not the intention of my daughter and her friend to cause a commotion.”

“I understand,” Celestia said, levitating a scroll the guard had been carrying toward herself so she could read. “However, please realize that this course of action cannot be allowed.”

“But the Crusaders did the same thing,” the pink filly whined. “We heard the rumors and couldn’t let them get so far ahead.”

“They have been told not to do it again, Diamond Tiara,” Rarity said before Filthy Rich could scold his daughter.

“We should have considered that thou would attempt to reproduce their efforts,” Luna said. “The fault is ours. However, know that unauthorized imports from the human world for sale shall no longer be tolerated. Thou are to eschew informing anypony as to the source or potential scope of thy resources. Furthermore, we have sent the guard to notify all of the potion apprentices that they are likewise restrained.”

“Yes, your Highnesses.” Filthy once again spoke for the group.

“I see you have better money sense than the Crusaders,” Celestia said, still reading the parchment. “You may not have matched their efforts, but you did, comparatively, get more for less.”

“Thank you, your Highness,” Silver Spoon said.

“Daddy helped,” Diamond Tiara said proudly.

With a hint of ice, Celestia said, "Had you continued, you would have destroyed Equestria's economy." In a lighter tone, she continued. "Regardless, life is for learning, and no real damage was done."

“Where are our manners?” Cadance said. “Won’t you join us? Any friend of Rarity’s and the Crusaders’ are welcome.”

Spoiled Rich shot a glance at Rarity before saying, “Thank you, we would be honored.” She couldn’t wait to tell everypony that she had dined with all three of the princesses.


“Spike!” Twilight Sparkle called out as she pushed open the door to her abode with her magic. “Spike! Where are you?”

“In the kitchen!” came the reply

Twilight led her family and Rainbow Dash into the room in question to find the table nearly packed with guests eating muffins topped with a softly-glowing pink substance. Harry was there with his two mothers, as were his cousin, the mailmare, and her daughter.

“Spike, why am I finding out from my mother that I’m married?”

“You didn’t know?” Spike asked, glazing another muffin with the pink substance.

Clouded Hoped started sniffing the air with a surprised look on her face which only intensified when Spike handed her the muffin.

“No, I did not know. This is the first I’m hearing of it.” Twilight huffed.

“Oops, my bad,” Spike admitted. “I suppose Sirius wanted to check with the Ministry before laying that on you.”

Clouded took a bite from the proffered muffin, gave it a curious look, then glanced at her father before looking back at the muffin.

“How do you get married without knowing about it?” Lyra asked.

“I dunno,” Spike said, nabbing another virgin muffin. “Draco Malfoy said that the Black family magic has accepted her as Sirius’s wife; therefore, it was legally binding. I didn’t exactly ask for details.”

Suddenly, an owl bearing a pouch engraved with the crest of the two sisters flew into the already crowded room.

"You got mail!" interjected Rainbow Dash.

There was a lull in the conversation as a window-rattling belch announced the entrance of Rarity and Petunia.

“R-r-rarity,” Spike sputtered, spreading more pink paste on the muffin he was holding and covering his claw for good measure.

“Spike, darling,” Rarity cooed in greeting.

“That is never getting old,” Rainbow commented. “Why were you two in the pouch?”

“We had dinner with the princesses,” Rarity said. “It would seem that between the Crusaders and the Tiara herd, a good portion of Canterlot is now owned by Ponyville natives.”

Twilight Sparkle sighed. “Things just can’t get any more interesting today, can they?”

Everypony stopped what they were doing and stared at the purple mare with varying levels of dread on their faces.

Suddenly a beam of black light appeared out of nowhere and struck Harry in the forehead. The pegasus colt toppled out of his chair and started screaming in agony.

The generation's best shield caster raised a protective dome around the room. For all the good it did, Shining Armor's shield might as well have been wet tissue.

“What is it?” Lyra screamed as she and Twilight lit their horns to combat whatever was attacking Harry. Tiny bolts of black lightning danced around the now-bleeding scar on his forehead. The rest of his body seemed to glow silver as if trying to fight off the foreign energies.

“It’s pure hate,” Clouded whimpered cringing away from the screaming colt.

“Harry! Harry!” Lyra screamed, channeling even more power into her horn, threating to burn herself out with the effort.

“Pure hate?” Spike said, looking at the pink covered muffin in his claw. "Say 'hello' to pure love." He applied the topping directly to Harry’s forehead.

A new scream filled the room, only this time, instead of coming from Harry’s throat, it came from the scar itself.

“Here drink this!” Twilight commanded, levitating a jar containing the remaining pink honey to pour it down Harry’s throat.

Lyra redirected her energies around Harry. She pledged every ounce of commitment, offering her own life to protect the son she had recently claimed. Bon Bon, still in human form, held him close in a vain attempt to shield him with her body. Unconsciously, she added her own will to the fight, a power no less potent than Lyra's more visible magic. Mother’s love reinforced mother’s love. The silver aura around Harry grew ever brighter.

Hate, arrogance and selfishness thrust out with wild abandon.

Devotion and commitment made a determine riposte.

Coulé met coulé. Angry sparks flew as forte met forte. An explosion of pink filled the room as guard slammed into guard.

A howl accompanied the cloud of black smoke that poured from Harry's scar. It shrieked as it began fading to pink. From the aura around Harry, a once-intangible presence coalesced into a ghostly pink form that took the shape of a woman. The image glowered at the billowing smoke and said in a compelling voice, “Now and forever, BEGONE!”

The smoke gave a death rattle as it turned fully pink before collapsing into nothing.

In a stunned voice, Clouded whispered, "Amor vincit omnia."

Just as abruptly as peril had raised its head, peace had returned. Gently, Bon Bon set Harry onto the ground.

In the following silence, the apparition smiled warmly down at the stunned form of Harry Potter and said. “I shall always be near. Know that you are and shall always be loved.”

“Lily?” Petunia gasped, covering her mouth with her hands.

The ghost looked at her sister. “There is nothing to forgive; you are my sister.” She then looked at Lyra and Bon Bon. “You have my undying thanks. Please take care of my son -- our son.”

“Always,” Lyra and Bon Bon said as one.

The vision was starting to fade as it turned to Twilight Sparkle. “Tell Sirius that the rat has done terrible things, plans to do terrible things. Tell him Wormtail might yet find the path to redemption. Remember, cowards are not sorted into Gryffindor.”

She turned to Harry again. “I love you, so very, very much.” The light in the room faded from pink back to normal. The ghost was gone.

“Mum!” Harry leapt to his hooves. “MUM!” His voice dropped to a whisper. “Don’t leave. Pleeeeease don’t leave. Please.”

Bon Bon crouched down and laid her hand on his head. “She never left,” she confided.

Lyra came over and nuzzled the side of his face. “And she never will.”

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