• Published 23rd Apr 2017
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Magic School Days - Dogger807

When the CMC asked Discord to help them attend magic school, he pulled an owl out of his hat. Only he didn't exactly have a hat. Which was okay, since their new school had a singing one laying around. Where the hay was Hogwarts anyway?

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Chapter 53: Pink Pony's Party Preparations

The non-moaning Myrtle counted her blessings in time with the bouncing of her car. The drive to the Burrow was no longer a test of either her driving skill or her car's suspension. Through the miracle of magic, a bit of pavement barely larger than the car's footprint tracked the vehicle as it took the most direct route to the dwelling. The tall grass parted like a beaded curtain to allow passage, and it closed behind the vehicle, leaving no trace of any disturbance. Whatever it was that Arthur and Molly had done to their property had earned Myrtle's undying gratitude and her mechanic's eternal enmity.

Although the road was smooth as a mirror, the ride was a bumpy one. Despite being properly restrained in the shotgun seat, Amy managed an enthusiastic, happy dance that bounced the body of the car in time with her rhythm. Anticipation of taking to the air fueled each hop. If Myrtle were honest with herself, she would have admitted that the witnessing Amy's sheer joy at her first flight was worth far more than the cost of the training broom. Even if her daughter never used that nondescript broom again, nothing could take away what that bit of wood and straw had given Myrtle. The fact that it had paved the way for her friendship with the older magical couple was icing on the cake.

When Myrtle pulled up in front of the house, Molly was already there waiting. The large redheaded woman smiled and waved, clearly overjoyed at the prospect of visitors.

Cutting the engine, Myrtle opened her door and called out, “Afternoon, Molly. How was your week?”

“Hello Myrtle, Amy. It's good to have you over,” Mrs. Weasley said walking over. “My week has been boring. I miss having my children to look after.”

“I can only imagine,” Myrtle said as her own daughter sprang from the car and quickly retrieved her broom from the back seat. “You really must pay me a visit when you are bored. I'm sure I could use the company when Amy is at primary.”

“I wouldn't want to be an inconvenience.” Molly shook her head.

“Says the woman who lets my daughter fly all over her property.”

“I love having you two around.” Molly watched Amy start to dart around, scraping against her broom's seven-foot service ceiling.

“And I would love to have you around as well,” Myrtle replied. “My mum would just adore meeting you.” The squib squinted at a pair of dots in the distance. “Well, I'll be. You really do use owls to deliver the mail.”

The dots gradually grew, with the first resolving itself into a large owl wearing a pouch. It glided in and landed on a picnic table not far from the front door. Seconds later, it was joined by a smaller cousin who clutched a large stack of envelopes.

“Hmmm,” Molly said as Amy landed to have a closer look. “That's Mrs. Belle's owl, not sure who the smaller one belongs to. Pity they didn't send the phoenix; that would have been quite the treat for you.”

Myrtle and her daughter studied the birds as the smaller of the two sorted through the envelopes it was carrying before offering one to Molly. Amy moved in to stroke the bird's feathers as Molly read.

“They do seem right clever,” Myrtle admitted. “Maybe I should consider getting one for Amy.”

“Get one for yourself,” Molly said absently. “Wait until Amy is school-aged before getting one for her.”

“I wouldn't have much use for one,” Myrtle disagreed.

“Owls are family. Trust me, once you have one, you will be wondering why you hadn't gotten one before,” Molly said before holding up the mouth-written card she had been reading. “Arthur and I have been invited to a party happening later today. Well, that's very short notice; how can anyone presume that we could just drop everything and go to a party at the drop of a hat?”

“Must be a last-minute thing,” Myrtle said as Amy continued to pet the strange owl. “Where's it at?”

“Someplace called Sugarcube Corner,” Molly said. “The invitation wasn't very informative. It just told me to lift the flap on the pouch if we wanted to attend. But, now that I think of it, Hermione Granger is one of Ginny's new friends, so it probably is a last-minute thing.”

“Oh, a children's party.” Myrtle nodded in understanding. “That does justify the sudden . . . Amy don't touch that!”


“Oh my god!” Myrtle screamed. “That bag just ate my daughter!”

Molly sighed. “I guess we are going to the party after all. Hold on a minute and I'll go get Arthur.”

The concentration of estrogen in Professor Snape's office was at unprecedented levels. Despite the distractions, he had recovered enough to reconfigure the office, conjuring comfortable chairs for the three smirking women while he retained his normal seat and sat opposite the three. While he was uncomfortable at having to share the topic with so many others, he had the presence of mind to realize that conferring alone with the Stetson-wearing woman would be a mistake of the highest order.

With as much decorum as he could muster, he said to Applejack, "Thank you for responding so promptly. Although I am loath to admit it, I find that I have been dropped into a sensitive situation, and the cleanest resolution requires your assistance."

“Well now,” Applejack said, leaning back in her chair with her fingers laced behind her head. “I know how much of a hoofful the girls can be. Yer letter said it was in regards to their education, so Ah'm more than happy ta help.”

“To be more precise,” Professor Snape said, lacking his customary detachment as his occlumency still refused to reassert itself, “this is in regard to Miss Belle. Miss Aloo performs at expected levels, and Miss Bloom is very gifted. I foresee her continuing on to receive her N.E.W.T. . . . perhaps her Masters in Potions.”

“That's mah girl.” Applejack did little to hide her pride. “But hold on a minute here. Yer basically trying to teach Sweetie Belle how to cook up magic?”

“That is a rather unique interpretation, but fundamentally correct,” Snape said disdainfully.

In response, Applejack hopped from her seat and flung her arms around Snape as she tried to draw out the trauma of witnessing Sweetie Belle's cooking through osmosis. “You poor, poor stallion. Ah kin only imagine what you've been through. Ah've seen with mah own eyes what that filly can do with a cup of sugar, a bowl of flour, and no magic.”

“Mfffft!” Snape answered back, unsure what to do with his flailing hands.

“Applejack,” Professor McGonagall chided with amusement in her voice. “I am sure Professor Snape cannot breathe properly when you do that.”

“Though I'm sure he doesn't mind being kept abreast of the situation,” Paola added.

“Sorry.” Applejack released Snape and retook her seat. “That was a Pinkie Pie move. Ah'm not sure what came over me.”

A rare silence had settled over the heavily-used family room as the woman of the house sat on the couch, finally able to catch up on the latest chapter of the gunslinger's quest. As captivating as the story was, finding time to read seemed nigh impossible. On a day like today, however, the impossible happened. Her husband had taken the boys to football practice, and the girls were upstairs doing who knows what. It was a lazy Sunday; there was nothing she needed to do and nowhere she needed to be.

Her day took a turn for the better when the impossible happened again; a pair of owls landed on the back of the sofa. Eyeing the birds, she said, “Here now, how did you two get in here? The windows are closed.” Then looking over her shoulder, she projected her voice. “Eva! Rosie! Come quick; your brother has sent mail and you wanted to see the owls when they came.”

There came the unmistakable sound of children upstairs rushing as the woman accepted an envelope from the smaller messenger.

“Yes,” Snape said matter-of-factly. “The whole class, stuck to the ceiling, and I'm still not sure what to make of what she did to my lab.”

“Y'all don't have to tell me the gory details,” Applejack said. “Like Ah said, a cup of sugar and some flour and nuttin' else. Still that don't explain how Ah kin help. Are y'all sayin' that Sweetie shouldn't be allowed to make potions?”

“By no means.” Snape seemed to hesitate before continuing. “I have just returned from the headmaster's office where I was informed that the standards for my upper classes have been lowered, despite my misgivings. Furthermore, I have been informed that we shall be hosting yet another faculty member installed by Mr. Discord. Since I am committed to take on additional work and you ponies seem willing to offer patronage, I have forced myself to swallow what's left of my pride. It is my intention to petition Mrs. Belle to fund an apprentice. They would focus on helping me teach my more demanding classes while working toward their mastery under my tutelage. Miss Belle would be their sole responsibility when she is brewing potions.” The conflict between pride and practicality was clear on the normally-stoic professor's face. It obviously took a lot for the professor to get that out.

“Wait,” Paola said, turning to Applejack. “You're a pony?”

“Yes ma'am. 100% earth pony.”

"Now, this nudity thing makes sense," said Paola. "I knew Severus couldn't charm anyone like that."

“If we could focus on the business at hand?” Snape said testily.

“Ah've seen what Discord is paying them tutors from the girls' vault,” Applejack noted. “Would one of those apprentices be costing near the same?”

“I am sure we could negotiate the price downward, since he would be advancing his own career in the process. It is not uncommon for the more well-off apprentices to pay for the privilege. However, I want one who is committed and in need of the education. That means funding them until they can stand on their own. The other type is prone to be less attentive and more demanding,” Snape answered.

“Y'all want somepony who is serious an' not a noble looking to bolster her own reputation, huh?” Applejack said knowingly. “This would be helping somepony get their hoof in the door, so to speak.”

“In a nutshell, yes,” Snape said.

“Would two be enough or would y'all rather three or four? Sweetie Belle can be a right terror in the kitchen.”

“Honey!” Dan called down the basement stairs. “Apple's sister's owl just showed up with another one. They had an invitation for a party. Looks like we won't be missing Hermione's birthday after all.”

Sweetie Belle exited the floo and used her momentum to launch herself into an enthusiastic tour jeté, clearing the landing area and facing the floo. In spite of the company, she had enjoyed shopping all morning. She even had a package of wand holsters as a consolation prize for being abandoned by the other Crusaders. On top of that, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon had been surprisingly civil for the entire outing. They had even been, dare she say it, pleasant. This left Sweetie in an uncomfortable position because it left her with only one course of action.

The flames flared green, and Lavender entered the room and quickly came to stand next to Sweetie. “That was fun,” she commented. “I thought Madam Malkin was going to break her face smiling over that order for three full wardrobes.”

The flames flared again and Silver Spoon came tumbling in. “Ow!” she said, getting to her feet. “I'm never going to get used . . .” That was as far as she got when the flames went green again and Hanna Abbot stumbled into her, sending them both tumbling onto the ground.

“You forgot to move,” Hanna noted as Daphne appeared and joined the pile.

“I knew I should have given you a few more seconds,” Daphne complained as Diamond Tiara put in her appearance and became king of the hill.

“You do realize that Professor Sprout is going to come through eventually,” Sweetie said to the growing heap.

Horrified, the girls scrambled away as Clouded Hope materialized and added her momentum to their flight.

“Will you be staying for lunch?” Paola asked as the three women left Snape's quarters. “I would love to get to know you better and introduce you to Filius.”

“Thank you kindly fer the hospitality,” Applejack said, wondering why the female students who had seen them exit the office were scowling, “but Pinkie is throwing a party this afternoon, and it would best if'n Ah saved mah appetite. She always has tons of vittles an' Ah only have so much room. 'Sides, once Lodestone shows up, Ah need to head home an' finish some chores right quick.”

“Traveling by owl seems undignified,” Paola said. “There must be a better way."

“Ah don’t exactly have much choice in the matter. Right now, it's either Discord or Lodestone, an’ Ah have no idea where Discord is. Fer that matter, Ah’m not rightly sure where Lodestone has wandered off to.”

“You can ask your owl to answer another’s requests. So, don’t be surprised if he goes to help another you’ve given that permission to,” Professor McGonagall informed the transformed pony. “However, he will always come to you, since he is your owl.”

“Actually, he’s Big Mac’s pet,” Applejack corrected. “Ah’ve just been hogging his attention a lot lately.”

“In that case, you may have to wait until he finishes whatever task Big Mac has set for him,” McGonagall said. “You may yet be our guest for lunch.”

Applejack sighed, “Mah chores sure ain’t getting done today at this rate.”

“Regardless,” Paola said, “you’re here, so you might as well get in that visit you were asking about. With luck, Apple Bloom will be in the Gryffindor tower with her friends.”

“If’n it comes right down to it, Ah can hitch a ride with them when Discord comes to get them for the party.”

“Which reminds me,” McGonagall said, “I neglected to bring it up last night, but I need to have a word with him about removing students from the grounds without informing the staff or getting permission.

“Good luck with that. Discord ain’t one to lose sleep over breaking the rules.”

“I’m sure Minerva can make him see things her way,” Paola said.

“Ah wouldn’t count on it.” Applejack shook her head. “Princess Celestia has tried an’ she hasn’t had much luck. The only pony he listens to is Fluttershy. Y'all are better off asking her to bring it up with him.”

I’ll do that then,” McGonagall agreed. “In the meantime, let’s reunite you with your misplaced family.”

“Hello Mr. Minister.” Arthur Weasley said, holding out his hand in greeting. “I see you’ve accepted the invitation as well.”

“Arthur,” Mr. Lovegood said with a smile. “Good to see you. Though it does seem rather crowded in here.”

“Yes, whoever sent their owl didn’t take into account all of the people it might be bringing back. I would do introductions, but shuffling around would be difficult.”

“I’m sure there will be time for that later,” Mr. Lovegood said. “Hello Molly, Mr. and Mrs. Brown” He nodded at the people in question. “And Marcy, my I haven’t seen you since you went off and married that muggle. What a pleasant surprise.”

“Xenophilius, congratulations on becoming Minister,” Marcy replied. “And my condolences; I just heard what happened to your wife. She will be missed.”

“So, I understand this is not a normal occurrence?” another woman huddled with two small girls asked.

“Nope, it’s a first for me,” Arthur replied. “A gracious gesture, but some more thought should have been given to the available space. Don’t worry though, I think that’s the last parent of the students in my youngest’s class.”

Sweetie and Lavender followed the Slytherins after they left Professor Sprout's office. With an ill-concealed sigh, Sweetie Belle spoke up. “Diamond Tiara, Pinkie Pie is throwing a party today for Hermione’s birthday and her cuteceñera. Would you and your herd like to come?”

“A Pinkie party? Why would I even think of missing that?” Diamond said, and Silver Spoon perked up at the thought.

“You have two weeks to catch up on,” Daphne reminded her. “Classes resume tomorrow.”

“It’ll be worth it,” Silver Spoon said. “Let’s go get Draco Malfoy; we’re not going to miss a Pinkie party if we can help it. The food alone will make up for the extra studying we will have to do.”

“Yes, and it will be a big surprise for our new colt,” Diamond said. “I’m sure he’s not experienced anything like it.”

“Al’ right!” Apple Bloom called to the flyers. “Time ta wrap it up; we got places ta be and grub to get.”

“Awwww,” groaned the bulk of the airborne ponies as they came to land in front of her with varying degrees of refinement. Their sentiment was echoed by the assembled watchers, many of whom stepped forward with a clear desire to pet pretty petite prismatic ponies. A scowl from Percy kept them at bay, though.

“An’ you,” Apple Bloom said to the black and blue pegasus filly. “Go get yer sister. Ah’m sure she won’t want to miss this.”

Parvati worriedly looked up at the redhead and said, “Um, sure. Thanks for inviting her.”

“Don’t fret none,” Apple Bloom said. “Yer invited, too.”

Parvati studied Apple Bloom for a second before taking off the pendent she was wearing and handing it to the other girl. “What gave me away?”

“This an’ that.” Apple Bloom accepted the jewelry and Philomena abandoned her elevated perch to land on her shoulder. “Hurry now; ah want ta be heading out soon.”

“What are you two talking . . . oh.” Hermione sputtered, checking Parvati’s hand for her absent ring. “That’s sneaky.”

The Overseer looked up from the reports he had been perusing to fix the runner with a deadly stare. “What do you mean ‘an owl made off with the elder lady'?”

Sugarcube Corner was decorated to the nines. Streamers dominated the ceilings, and a festive fluorescent orange banner visible from the front door proudly announced Hermione's cuteceñera and birthday party. Posters for different games were strategically placed, and confetti cannons were set to spray their contents so that they would land away from the food. Hanging from the center of the ceiling, a disco ball slowly spun, scattering dots of light.

In a feat worthy of the practically perfect pink party planner, the dining area was laid out to host the party of all parties. There was a place for everything, and everything was in its place. Muggle and wizard alike would be mind-boggled that so much could be put into so small a space while maintaining an airy atmosphere. It seemed as though anywhere one was, there was a table laden with party fare only a few steps away. Some tables featured cupcakes of every description, each clearly visible and begging to be enjoyed. Punch bowls showed off every color in the rainbow, with each hue promising a different flavor. Crustless sandwiches, quartered into triangles, were arrayed like dragon's teeth on large platters. Enough pastries to put Denmark to shame were somehow shoehorned into the mix, glistening in sugar-glazed glory. The pièce de résistance, however was the cake. Each layer was decorated to look like a set of grimoires, in recognition of the guest of honor's passion, her studies, and her exploits that would bring more than a tear to Twilight's eyes.

In the midst of this cornucopia was a pink party pony who had defied all logic by performing all the preparations by herself. As she darted about touching up the finest details, a pair of familiar feathered friends touched down on her withers, lest they spoil any of the mare's preparations.

“Lodestone! Owlowiscious!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Do you like? The Princess gave me the bits so that I could make a good impression on the humans.

“Hoo,” the larger Owl opined.

“You’re right.” Pinkie nodded her head enthusiastically. “I’ll let them out right away. Gummy can’t wait to meet them.” With that she reached around and placed a hoof on the pouch Lodestone wore.

With a volcanic belch, the bag regurgitated its contents, depositing the guests in a jumbled heap on the floor. The youngest were the quickest to recover, exclaiming, "Pony!" as Pinkie Pie enthusiastically greeted them with a group hug.

Behind drawn shades, a mint green unicorn’s head shot up, disturbing the mare she was cuddling with on the couch.

“My human sense is going off,” Lyra declared.

“Don’t be silly,” Bon Bon countered. “You don’t have a human sense. Hey! Come back here! I wasn’t finished with you yet!”

As the three women approached the portrait of the Fat Lady, the gatekeeper within cleared her throat and gestured to one side. Paola caught the hint first and spun around to find the Gryffindor herd hot on her heels. She informed her companions, "Looks like they're behind us."

Applejack spun and exclaimed. “Apple Bloom!”

“Applejack?” Apple Bloom froze as the unfamiliar form of an amazon bore down on her. There was no way it could be stable with that much mass at chest level. “Applejack!” she cried happily after she found herself in a tight embrace.

Words failed her as Applejack continued to clutch her wayward sister. The others watched indecisively, unaware of the feast the two were feeding Clouded Hope as she and the rest of the children who had made a morning outing joined the spectators.

“Who’s that?” Lavender asked the obvious question.

“That’s Apple Bloom’s big sister Applejack,” Scootaloo said, trying not to sound jealous.

“She’s big,” Ron noted. “I’ll wager she could snap one of us in half just by looking at us.”

“If you think she’s strong, just wait 'til you meet Big Mac.” Scootaloo said.

“I’ve seen what Apple Bloom can do,” Dean said. “It’s clear I won’t be winning any arm-wrestling contests with anyone in their family.”

“Now that we’re all here, why don’t we get going?” Harry asked, uncomfortable around the still-hugging sisters.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to wait; Mr. Discord isn’t here yet.” Paola countered.

“I’m not?” Discord asked, standing right next to the Veela. She was the only one startled by his unannounced appearance.

“Discord!” the massed children exclaimed.

Seamus added. “Saw that coming. It’s like a trademarked move for you.”

A soft voice said, “He does like appearing unexpectedly.” Paola spun in place. Behind her stood two women. The one with long, flowing black hair was a typical human. The pink-haired woman, however, made Paola scowl. Such a beauty could not be a mere human, but she had none of the tells of a Veela.

“Fluttershy!” Dean, Neville and Ginny said in unison.

“Hello, Miss Rutter.”

“It would seem that we are all here.” Discord smiled. “So, without further delay.”

“Wait!” Diamond Tiara started.


“We haven’t gotten Draco Malfoy yet,” she finished, finding herself standing in a barnyard. The large red building behind her was redolent with familiar scents.

“Sorry, my bad,” Discord said. The assembled humans stared at him in awe; his true form was finally revealed to them. It barely registered to them that Fluttershy and the herds had taken on their equine forms.


A startled Draco, in an extreme state of dishabille, appeared among the rest of the travelers.

Harry frowned when he saw that his would-be rival was shivering.

Jealously, Diamond Tiara said, "Hey!" as Sweetie Belle brought Draco's hand to her mouth. As she pulled away, the boy transfigured into a colt.

Sweetie Belle said gently, "He was cold, Diamond Tiara. I know it's hard, but he is your colt; you have to take care of him."

As she watched Fluttershy nuzzle Discord, Alice said absently, "You're a dragon. I'm in love with a dragon."

Discord pulled up in an exaggerated show of offense. "I am a draconequus, not some brutish dragon."

"Whatever," Alice said as she wrapped him in a passionate embrace. "You're mine."

“um,” came a soft objection.

“And Fluttershy's.” Alice quickly amended.

“Where am I?” Draco yelled, shaking off his shock.

“Mr. Malfoy, please refrain from such outbursts,” Professor McGonagall reprimanded. “And Mr. Discord, a little warning in the future would be appreciated.”

“Huh?” Discord said, tearing his attention from Alice and Fluttershy. “Where is the fun in that?”

Concurrently, Draco looked at Silver Spoon, the confusion plain on his face. “Sorry, professor,” he said reflexively.

“We're going to a party,” Silver Spoon answered the confused colt.

“Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres,” Applejack announced, letting go of Apple Bloom. “When did we get here?”

“Just like her sister; ovivious,” Lavender commented.

Before either Apple could reply, the ground started shaking as the farm's newest resident made himself known. And there was much screaming. And, there just might have been some running about in panic as the giant three-headed dog homed in on Fluttershy, intent on receiving some attention.

A groggy Twilight Sparkle looked up from her coffee when Spike led Cloud Kicker into the kitchen.

“Morning,” she said, half-awake, not leaving her spot.

“Afternoon,” Cloud Kicker returned, pointing a wing in the general direction of Sugar Cube corner. “The mayor would like it if you were at the bakery to act as a moderator. Pinkie has done something unexpected.”

Twilight sighed and abandoned her precious black gold. “That's to be expected,” she muttered, following the pegasus from the room.

Fluffy lay on his side, enjoying a good belly rub, as the distinct howling of a fleeing timberwolf was heard in the distance.

"As much as we'd like to attend the big event, my mares and I would like to get to know each other better first." He produced a familiar puzzle box. As he upended the box, several rings jangled out and tumbled to the ground. "Here are rings for whomever needs them. Toodles!" With a snap of his claws, his nascent herd vacated the scene.

“Can we stop fooling around and get to the party?” Scootaloo complained. “I'm starving!”

As soon as the words left her mouth, a rainbow stream of light claimed the spot where she had been standing. In the blink of an eye, she was gone.

“Someone shot Scoot with a laser!” Seamus cried out.

“She's gone!” Dean wailed, frantically looking for the shooter.

“Baaa uni corn!” Magah added.

“Relax,” Hermione said. “That was just her mother. She'll be fine.”

“Her mother shoots lasers from her eyes?” Dean asked warily.

“Not exactly.” Sweetie laughed.

“Has anyone seen where Clouded got to?” Hanna Abbott asked.

A sea of shrugs prompted her to turn her attention back to the rapidly-accelerating rainbow trail. "You Gryffindors don't do boring, do you?"

The double boom that followed the rainbow-hued vapor cone emphasized her point.

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