• Published 23rd Apr 2017
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Magic School Days - Dogger807

When the CMC asked Discord to help them attend magic school, he pulled an owl out of his hat. Only he didn't exactly have a hat. Which was okay, since their new school had a singing one laying around. Where the hay was Hogwarts anyway?

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Chapter 55: Cultural Exchange

Dan Granger could scarcely believe that he was witnessing unadulterated happiness. Laughter filled the air along with the tantalizing aromas of foods of celebration. It seemed that everywhere he looked, he found genuine smiles.

He still could not reconcile how a child's party could serve as the backdrop for one suited for adults. While the adults could not match the sheer joy that the children were exuding, they were all wondering what they had to do to secure a return invitation. Dan was positive that the purple mare sporting a picture of a strawberry and a bunch of grapes on her flanks had spiked one of the punchbowls. The pink hostess had unerringly switched cups with any of the younger crowd who attempted to sample from that bowl.

It boggled the mind that the creatures who seemed to be living versions of a little girl's dream could throw a cocktail party that put every one he had attended to shame. Thinking of them as rational adults, rather than the colorful toys they resembled, was almost more shocking than the way his daughter stuck out like a traffic cone in a sea of colorful bodies. After talking with them, however, he had no doubt they were people in their own right.

He breathed a sigh of relief as he watched his luminescent daughter mingle with the other colts and fillies. Although she was very obviously different than the other children, nopony seemed to care. After she had been shunned by her peers in primary school, Dan had feared the worst when she had transferred to the wizarding school.

To be blunt, after the years she had spent as a pariah, Dan had been shocked when Hermione had introduced him to her new friends. Unsurprisingly, his first impressions had been correct; the three bright-haired girls were foreigners. What had him completely flummoxed was how foreign they turned out to be. Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined that they were not human. This put his transfiguration into a unicorn in a completely different light. He wasn't adding human intelligence to a dumb animal; he was becoming the person he would have been if he had been born here.

With that epiphany, his initial awkwardness had evaporated. He could see that the similarities were so strong that he could ignore the obvious differences. The same could not be said about the mother of the pink pegasus boy as she held his forearm in an iron grip. Beset by the mysteries of the wizarding world while being forced to acknowledge a completely alien race, she clung to the only sane man she could identify, a non-magical parent like herself.

His wife Emma was not jealous in the least. She had sauntered off with a blue unicorn who was apparently the town's dentist, talking shop. Not wishing to be reminded of his work, Dan and his shadow wandered around, introducing themselves to the colorful inhabitants.

As she lay spent, sprawled on the fluffy white cloud, the orange pegasus filly ignored the long skid mark left by her graceless landing. Fatigue had never felt so satisfying. She had given everything she had to try matching her idol. She was by no means out of shape, but it took a special pony to even come close to pacing the fastest pegasus in Equestria. She still had a long way to go to even qualify for the same league as the Wonderbolt hopeful.

Her idol touched down beside her with surprising gentleness. Playfully, Rainbow Dash asked as she stroked the filly's purple mane, "So, would you rather take the room above the kitchen or the one across from mine?"

"You're giving me a room?" Scootaloo's grin would have made Pinkie Pie proud. "Does that mean I'll be able to visit more often? Just like sisters?"

With a grim expression, Rainbow Dash shook her head. In a serious tone, she replied, "No. You can't visit my house anymore. I don't want you as my sister."

“What?!” Scootaloo wailed, tears already welling in her eyes.

“It's now our house. You'll be living there from now on.” Rainbow smirked. “You can't call that visiting.”

“What?” Scootaloo whispered.

Rainbow Dash sat on the cloud and said in a tone she had never taken before in her entire life. “Scootaloo, I've started the paperwork. If it's all right with you, I'm going to adopt you. I want you to be my daughter. We're going to be a family.”

Family. That was something for other fillies. Future Scootaloo would know its joys; she was already in a herd with a couple of fillies she knew would be her lifemates. Her new classmates had added to that number, ensuring that more love was to follow. Past Scootaloo had been in a much lonelier place. Every night after their adventures, the other fillies would go home to their families while she had to return to the place where unwanted fillies lived.

Present Scootaloo fantasized about having what a normal filly would. She dreamed her mother and father had simply lost their way and were now coming to collect her. She dreamed a long-lost cousin had discovered her by chance and would take her in. She dreamed that Rainbow Dash was really her older sister. She dreamed of belonging. She dreamed of family.

She dreamed.

With a strangled cry, she launched her no longer tired body from the cloud and latched her limbs around Rainbow Dash.

She wanted to tell Rainbow how happy she was. She wanted to tell Rainbow that yes, she wanted that more than anything else in the entire world. She wanted to tell Rainbow how much she loved her.

Instead, there were only sobs as Scootaloo once more followed Rainbow Dash's lead.

“Twilight, we need yer help.”

Twilight looked down and saw Apple Bloom and Dean looking up at her with wide eyes. Fillies of all colors and races tried to unobtrusively crowd around Dean. No good could possibly come from that. “Is something wrong?” she asked warily. “Do we need to evacuate the bakery?”

“What?” Apple Bloom looked around, bemused. “No, Ah gave Dean's sisters a ring each an' they don't seem to be working. We were hoping you'd be able to fix them.”

“Discord's rings are malfunctioning?” Twilight looked over to see the two human fillies playing with a new pegasus filly.

“They worked jus' fine fer Amy,” Apple Bloom said. “Nuthin' fer Rosie nor Eva.”

“They can't do magic,” Dean said sadly. “They might not be able to change.”

“Nonsense,” Twilight said, trotting over to investigate. “Everycreature has magic. Some just need help finding it for the first time.” She was rewarded with the two remaining human fillies looking at her hopefully.

“Thank you for helping,” Dean said.

Twilight lit up her horn before saying, “Go ahead and try to change for me.”

Rosie scrunched her face in concentration as Eva closed her eyes and grunted.

“I see,” Twilight said. “There is some blockage, but nothing that can't be cleaned out by letting the background magic flow freely.” Her horn flared. “And all fixed; go ahead and give the rings another try.”

In the blink of an eye, there were three pegasus fillies where there had only been one.

“Why am I not I pink?” Rosie whined. “I wanted to be pink like my brother.”


“That reminds me.” Twilight said. “I need to speak to a nurse about casting that color changing spell, it might work.”

“You can make me not pin . . . fuchsia?” Dean gave his undivided attention while the fillies who had crowded around him pouted.

“We'll see,” Twilight said. “But don't get your hopes up.”

“Yeah!” Dean surged into the air and pumped a forehoof.

“Why do they never listen?” Twilight sighed.

Percy found himself in an awkward position. Magah, unsettled by all of the strange ponies milling around was doing her best to get as close to the prefect as physically possible. Ironically, in her attempts to assuage her anxiety, she now looked as though she had claimed Percy as her foal, protectively penning him in with her long legs.

“Wow,” he heard a female voice filled with hostility say. “You sure are possessive. Why don't you let your coltfriend out to enjoy the party?”

Peeking around one leg he saw three ponies about his age staring daggers at Magah. He felt his cover shiver in response to the aggressive atmosphere.

“Um, ladies?” Percy desperately attempted to explain. “There's no need for that.”

“Yes, there is.” The yellow mare insisted moving forward to go muzzle to muzzle with Magah. “I hate mares like you. Treating poor colts like a possession instead of a pony. Are you afraid he's going to find somepony who will treat him right? Don't think that just because your bigger I'm afraid of you.”

“Ladies!” Percy tried again as Magah started to tremble violently. “You're scaring her.”

“Bristle,” the tan mare said in a soothing voice. “Something's wrong here. She's reacting like a foal. She may not be all there.”

A placid tenor said, “Is something the matter?” Percy was relieved to see that his father had come over and was now petting Magah's neck in an effort to calm her down.

The three mares looked up at the redheaded human before the tan mare said, “We're not sure. It looked like this colt was being abused, but now I'm not so sure.”

“I see,” Arthur said as Magah responded to his reassurance. “I'm sorry, but the situation is not what is seems. You see, Magah here is not the same species as you.”

“We can see that,” Bristle said. “She must have Saddle Arabian blood to be that big.”

“No, I meant she comes from our homeland,” Arthur said. “She is not a sapient being. She is a creature.”

“That's rude.” the remaining mare, a rusty red, said crossly. “You shouldn't say such things about a disabled pony.”

A chuckle was heard from behind the gathered mares as the rest of the party goers started to pay attention to the confrontation. “That is an admirable attitude,” Xenophilius said joining the conversation. “Sadly, it is misplaced in this instance. Imagine, if you will, taking your dog to a world inhabited by intelligent talking canines. How do you think it would be best to explain your pet to the inhabitants?”

Percy looked out from under Magah and said to his sire, “You got over here quickly; thank you, Father.”

It was Arthur turn to chuckle. “This misunderstanding was just waiting to happen. We've been keeping an eye on you.”

The tan mare looked from the large unicorn to the human petting it and said. “You're telling us that this is your pet dog?”

“Technically, she is Sweetie Belle's dog, but otherwise, yes,” Percy answered.

“There are just so many things wrong with that statement,” Bristle said, still eyeing the large mare.

“We are talking about Crusaders here,” the rust red mare said. “We should count ourselves lucky if she doesn't spontaneously explode.”

“I heard about the nitroglycerin incident,” Percy said. “Was it really that bad?”

The tan mare sighed. “Have you ever tried getting the smell of hydra guts out of your mane?”

“Wait a minute,” Bristle said. “She is definitely not your marefriend then.”

“No, I'm just looking after her for Sweetie,” Percy said.

“So,” the rust red mare said with a predatory grin, “that makes you fair game.”

“What?” Percy's ears swiveled forward uncontrollably.

“You're on your own for this one,” Arthur said, leading Magah away.

The only constant in Harry's life was change. Since leaving the Dursleys, it seemed that everything that happened was a new experience. He should have known better to think that there was now nothing that could surprise him. To be fair, the latest incident was not nearly as alien as the other changes. After all, Uncle Vernon had carried him by his shirt collar on more than one occasion. He remembered each one in painful detail, no matter how hard he tried to forget.

Rarity had not seemed upset when she had interrupted the game, asking to borrow Harry for a few minutes. He had expected to tag along behind the mare. He was, however, not prepared for her to pick him up . . . by the scruff of his neck . . . with her mouth. He was thankful for the distraction that Sweetie Belle and Ginny provided by flanking him as they waded across the floor.

He never would have expected someone of Rarity's bearing to speak with her mouth full, let alone while clamped down on a mouthful of his neck, but, somehow, she managed to say, "Come along Harry. There is somepony to whom I absolutely must introduce you."

Harry did not respond, lest any reaction trigger the excruciating pain his human form would feel in that situation. It helped a little to imagine that he was a kitten in his mother's mouth.

Quickly, the small group traversed the party proper, and Harry could see that they were homing in on wizarding couple deep in a conversation with a unicorn and an earth pony.

The unicorn was so immersed in her data collection that she was unaware of their approach. By contrast, the earth pony noticed them almost immediately and sent a welcoming smile. “Rarity.” She nodded briefly. “Foals.”

“Ah Bon Bon, darling,” Rarity greeted in return, setting Harry on the floor. “I was hoping to steal a little time from you and Lyra. Hello to you as well.” She gave the two humans a polite smile, daintily holding out a forehoof.

“Rarity!” Lyra's enthusiasm had been dialed up past eleven and was threatening to hit fourteen or fifteen. “You have to meet Mrs. and Mr. Patil! They are the parents of the twin pegasus fillies who are actually humans.”

Harry watched Parvati's parents offer Rarity a polite greeting before Mr. Patil said, "I can see by your dramatic entrance that you have urgent business to conduct with Miss Heartstrings. We have no intention of intruding on your private business, so we shall take our leave." With those word, he led his wife away. The strength of their slipstream left no doubt as to the twins' pegasus heritage.

“Bye, I'll catch up with you later.” Lyra waved enthusiastically in a manner only somepony acquainted with Pinkie Pie would have dreamed possible.

"Ahem," said Rarity with polite firmness. Lyra turned her attention back to the white unicorn. Rarity continued, "Lyra, the time has come to introduce you to Harry Potter." Gesturing, she said, "Lyra Heartstrings, this is Harry Potter." She then turned to Harry and said, "Harry Potter, this is Lyra Heartstrings. She and Bon Bon shall be your guardians from now on."

Abruptly, the two mares in question dropped their gazes and scrutinized the colt accompanying Rarity. Bon Bon found her voice first. "Hi, Harry Potter. Lyra and I have been looking forward to meeting you and adding you to our family. I promise, you'll love it here." The confectioner tore her attention away from the colt and hissed, "Lyra! Stop that! You're scaring the colt."

Lyra had approached the colt during Bon Bon's greeting, and she was now examining him from every angle with her muzzle as close as it could get without touching. Trembling slightly, Harry did his best to hold still, turning only his head to witness the uncomfortable inquisition. Ginny took a step forward to intervene, but Rarity placed a restraining hoof on her withers.

Abruptly, Lyra stopped, scowling as she stepped back, face to face with the colt. She rose to her full height and held her head proudly. She stood like a statue as a corona illuminated her horn. Tears began to trickle from her eyes. Just as suddenly, she slumped down to her belly so that her eyes were at the same level as Harry's. Through soft sobs, she managed to choke out, "Harry Potter." Uncomfortable seconds passed before she could find her words. "I WILL keep you safe. Anypony, any creature that tries to harm you will have to go through ME first."

Bon Bon was aghast. She had never heard her partner sound so somber, so intense, so outraged. The ponies closest to the group all ceased their conversations as they, too, were affected by the power radiating from the mare none could recognize despite being familiar with the skin she was wearing.

Harry fidgeted under the intense stare, unsure of how to respond. “Thank you?” he ventured weakly.

Lyra reached out and brought the colt close to her barrel. Her voice was thick with emotion when she replied, “You don't have to thank me for giving you what you have always deserved. You only have to know that you are my foal and I am your mother.”

“No,” Bon Bon said, lying down next to Lyra. “You just need to know that we both are your mothers.”

Had they been on Earth, the room would have trembled at the power of the magic in those vows. In the magical land of Equestria, everypony instinctively recognized the power of those simple words. It was not only those who carried the next generation in their wombs who could rightfully claim the most sacred of bonds.

Somewhere, Lily Evans smiled.

“Twilight, y'all look a mite put out. Sumthin' yanking yer tail?”

“Huh, no I'm just enjoying the party.”

There was a raised eyebrow at the blatant misuse of the term.

“You know, that's just not fair.”

“Maybe, but it sure comes in handy. Now, spill. Why do y'all look like a hog who lost his last ear of corn?”

“She's just being mope, mope, mopey because I couldn't get Sirius Black his invitation.”

“I am not being mopey.”

Another raised eyebrow met this response.

“Okay, maybe just a little . . . and that's still not fair.”

“Ah guess Ah kin relate. Ah met an interesting human stallion today.”

“Really, darling? Which one?” A hoof waved at the party in progress.

“He ain't here right now. It happened when y'all sent me to have a talk about that thar letter.”

“Iiiiiiiinteresting. Should I invite him to the next party? Are you going to go all mopey if I don't?”

“I am not being mopey.”

Another eyebrow rose. “Nah, Ah ain't thinkin' of him like that. Ah was referring to to how interesting they are.”

“The way you spoke left the impression that you were amendable to a rendez-vous amoureux.”

A snort sounded, “Not hardly. Ah don't have the time.”

“That wasn't a denial, darling.”

“Anyhow, getting back on subject, human stallions sure act weird.”

“How so?” Moping took a backseat to acquiring new information.

“I think we're missing the original subject. Weren't we talking about how you and Twilight want to party with human stallions.”

“Here now, thar plenty of human stallions at this party. Ah have no idea what yer talking about.”

A pink mane swished, “You totally missed the metaphor.”

“Say what now?”

“Pinkie, darling, I think the word you were looking for was 'innuendo'.”

“Technically, innuendos are metaphors.”

“You're still changing the subject.” A frustrated bounce emphasized the words. “Do you or don't you want to party with the stallion you met today?”

“Ah . . . Ah was just remarkin' on how, if'n you show them yer udders they act like they happened upon a cockatrice.”

“Really? How remarkable. I shall have to remember that for the next time I catch up with Dumbledore. If human mares can paralyze using their udders, it's too much of a benefit not to exploit.”

“Are you sure?” A lavender hoof pointed at the mingling humans. “I don't see any signs of that happening here.”

“Trust me, it works. Jus' remember, putting on a shirt mutes the effect.”

“Hmmm, I wonder if channeling magic in that area would multiply the effectiveness.”

“Can we stop talking about natural defenses for human mares. I want to know. To party or not to party? That is the question.”

“Don't get yer tail all in a knot. Ah just went there an found out that he wants Rarity to patronize an assistant for him so that he can keep a better eye on Sweetie Belle in potions class.”

“He wants Rarity to make condescending comments at his assistant? How would that help Sweetie make potions?”

“No, darling, that word also means financially supporting the arts or, in this case, a teaching assistant.”

“Ah told him we'd be all in for three or four, seeing how we're familiar with Sweetie's attempts at cooking.”

“What does that have to do with anything? They just have to keep her out of the kitchen. Even I know not to let her help me make cupcakes.”

“Y'all can think of making potions as cooking with magic.”

“Oh, in that case you'd better make it nine or ten.”

“Wait a minute, are you telling me that the potions teacher is looking for a teacher's assistant that he's going to mentor in advanced potions?”


“Did he say he had somepony in mind?”


“This is too good of an opportunity to pass up. Spike! Take a letter!”

“ . . . Hey! You can't be serious! Come back here! You still haven't answered the question!”

The party was not like any he had attended in the past. There was a distinct lack of social climbing. The barbs of sharp words, the pretty poison of unprovable slander, the merciless trampling of reputations, all the trappings of high society were absent. Instead, the ponies, young and old alike, laughed and enjoyed themselves. It was almost as though status had no meaning in this place of happiness.

He could not help but wonder about the size of the army of house elves who had prepared the party. While some of the food was unfamiliar, it all tickled his palate like nothing at home ever had. He barely noticed that there was no fish or flesh or fowl.

For the first time in a long time, he did not have to watch his back. The games here did not involve daggers of either the physical or verbal variety. Instead, they promoted good natured competition and cooperation. Years of indoctrination faded as he found himself actually socializing with the much-hated Gryffindors.

Any worries about fitting in with the aliens were quickly quashed. He was constantly escorted with either Diamond Tiara or Silver Spoon pressed against his side. He could not help but notice how they beamed when they introduced him to the other small ponies. The sincere congratulations they received buoyed both their spirits and his. He had no doubt that everyone in the room knew that they had claimed him.

In spite of himself, Draco was loving his time here, even though he was now a little horse.

It wasn't clear exactly which pony let out the first cry. It did, however give the party a dramatic twist. “Who let Sweetie Belle in the kitchen!”

"We're doomed, I tell you. Doomed!"

“Oh, the horror! The horror!”

The tinkle of smashed glass was followed by an artificially calm voice repeating, "Code Black . . . Code Black . . . Code Black . . ."

“Parvati! Grab Neville!” Apple Bloom yelled, seizing Ron's tail in her mouth. “Hermione get Seamus! Lavender on Dean!” Seeing that Lyra had already snatched up Harry, the smallest Apple then proceeded to join the mob exiting the bakery, dragging Ron behind her.

“Sweeeeetieeee! Noooo!” Rarity wailed, making a beeline for the backroom, followed closely by Twilight and a frantic Pinkie.

“Get the children out! Get the children out!” Cheerilee commanded before putting words to action by snagging Snips and launching herself out the hole that had once held the front window.

Despite the ensuing chaos, the business had been evacuated in record time as the adult ponies formed a shrinking cordon to ensure that any stragglers were in front of them. The ponies waited a safe distance away, bracing for the spectacle that was to come while the human visitors looked on in confusion. Several tense minutes passed before the automated voice was silenced. The muffled sounds of a surge of rushing water could be heard. Twilight stepped through the empty window frame and addressed the crowd. "False alarm, everypony. She was just using the restroom in the back. Apparently, the line for the ones up front were too long."

An audible sigh washed over Twilight.

Twilight's horn lit up and the shards of Sugarcube Corner's display window levitated themselves back into their original positions, fusing with their neighbors as they went. “It's safe; you can come back in now.”

“Does this happen often?” Apple Bloom heard Lavender ask from somewhere up above her.

“Huh?” Apple Bloom gasped, looking toward the voice, her eyes going wide when she saw the filly.

“What?” Lavender asked in response to the look. “You told me to get on Dean.”

Celestia smiled benevolently from her throne. Before her, seven young mares stood in attendance, while behind her a large owl wearing a satchel perched. “Please remember, the potions master has yet to officially announce that he is looking for an apprentice. So, be very polite. Remind him that the crown will be paying for all expenses. The potential value of obtaining this education cannot be understated. With that in mind, you each must try your best to secure this opportunity.”

The gathered ponies all indicated their agreement with an array of nods.

“Now, after a day of talking to Professor McGonagall, I am familiar enough with their species to cast a spell temporarily granting you their form. If you succeed in obtaining this employment, I will ask Discord to provide you with one of his rings for a more permanent solution.”

This was met with more nodding.

“Go make me proud, my little ponies,” Celestia said as she lit her horn.

Professor Flitwick was traversing the halls when the owl found him and perched on a disgruntled suit of armor. Recognizing the bird, he said. “You don't care much about things like closed windows and doors do you?”


“Well, I suppose you've got visitors in that bag of yours. Some more students by chance?”


“Hopefully, this time they are sorted into Ravenclaw.” Flitwick said as the students in the hallway stopped to watch the exchange. Reaching up, the small professor tapped the pouch with his wand and said, "Ex dimittere." Belatedly, he realized he should be doing this in the privacy of his office or the teachers' lounge.

“Hello there,” he said once the bag had emptied its contents. “You appear to be too old to be new students. How may I help you?”

“Hello,” one of the young women said, “my name is Raspberry Crunch. My friends and I have a proposition for Professor Snape. We were hoping we could secure a position under him.”

The Hogwarts students had begun staring as soon as the first woman had exited the bag like Venus rising from the sea. One of the Hufflepuff girls snarled. “Of course, we can all see your qualifications.”

“None of that now,” Professor Flitwick said, swishing his wand, providing the wardrobe the women had completely neglected. Content with the results, he addressed the woman who spoke. “If you follow me, I'll be glad to show you to his chambers.”

“His office!” another Hufflepuff girl insisted. “They only need to see his office!”

As Flitwick led the newest visitors away, he heard one of the Weasley twins say. “He's got to have invented a new potion.”

The other twin replied with. “Too true, brother mine; there is no other rational explanation.”

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