DiamondBloom's Hangout Time

by Cadiefly

It Must Be Aliens

Apple Bloom was tired. She was out of breath and her muscles ached. Her only solace was that at least she was still running, as far away from the object of her torment as she could. She didn’t want to think about the unspeakable horrors that would befall her should she be captured.

Perhaps she was running too quickly, however, as an unwavering pebble stopped her in her tracks, sending her careening to the ground. She groaned painfully; her coat surely adorned new scratches now. Should she stop to lick her wounds, this would portend worse things.

She chanced a glance behind her and gasped when it was apparent no distance had been gained. Flinging herself off the ground in desperation, Apple Bloom redoubled her efforts. As long as she wasn’t caught, she couldn’t give up hope yet. She must escape!

Although it was impossible to tell how long she had been running, she had yet to hear her name called by her pursuer. This did not particularly surprise her, however, as this was hardly the pony she had come to known.

Around a corner she went, and as she narrowly ducked underneath an unsuspecting shop keeper, she briefly wondered how this had all come to pass. It was only thirty minutes prior that her greatest nemesis, Diamond Tiara, had shown her an ounce of kindness.

It went against all the laws of nature! The development turned everything she had ever known upside down. Apple Bloom simply couldn’t handle that knowledge.

She weaved through the hoof traffic of Ponyville’s town square, careful not to abruptly reach a dead end. As she skirted by another mobile shop, the picture of her clubhouse solidly formed in her mind. Seeing this as the only real place of solitude from the bully, she resolved to make that her destination. She might even receive backup from her fellow Cutie Mark Crusaders. By enlisting their help, it would grant her amnesty from any ploy the demon had concocted.

Apple Bloom eventually made it to the clubhouse. Once inside, though, she was immediately aware that she was the only one there. Without sparing a second to languish over her isolation, she boarded up the door with wood and nails. She was just about to do the same for the windows when she noticed Diamond Tiara outside.

“Come on out, blank flank. I have a treat for you,” the pink filly said.

“Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin!”

“I’m a pony, not a wolf.” Diamond Tiara deadpanned.

“Don’t like that one? I got about a hundred more culture references where that one came from. But frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn!” Apple Bloom shut the window before Diamond Tiara had the chance to respond.

Though her voice was deafened, Apple Bloom could still hear the other pony from outside. “You’ll have to come down there sometime, silly!”

There she laid, inside the clubhouse, for hours. Every now and again, she looked out the window and stared at the pony; for reasons beyond her understanding, the pony continued waiting patiently instead of giving up.

By the time the sun set, Apple Bloom was idly pushing a toy block across the window sill with profound disinterest. Her eyes trailed upward, into the window, and saw that Diamond Tiara still hadn’t left her alone.

She groaned and, after opening the window, cried, “Why won’t you just leave me alone?”

“Pff, as if.” She placed a hoof on the ramp leading up to the clubhouse. “I haven’t hoofed over your present yet!”

“This ain’t like you. Who are you and what did you do to the real Diamond Tiara? I reckon you’d always be the bully and I the victim.” Apple Bloom flung the upper half of her body onto the window sill in exasperation. “That’s how it’s s’posed to be.”

“Who died and made you the thought police?” The filly galloped up the ramp and pressed against the door. “My patience is running thin, blank flank. Let me in, or I’m busting this door down.”

“You’ll never catch me!” Apple Bloom leaped from the window, intending to make a run for it toward her farmhouse. It wasn’t that far, so catching the other filly by surprise, even for a moment, would be all that she needed to get away.

Unfortunately, the girl had other plans in mind. Diamond Tiara’s reflexes were quick, jumping after her and catching her in midair. Together they tumbled and rolled across the ground. By the time they were motionless, Apple Bloom was nestled safely within Diamond’s forelegs.

“I guess you caught me.” Apple Bloom laughed, glancing around anywhere but at her companion. “I reckon I should’ve thought that one through a bit more.”

She watched as this stranger, whom obviously couldn’t be Diamond Tiara, retrieved a satchel from her back and placed it into her grasp. She then nuzzled her and let go.

“It’s aliens,” she said. “It’s gotta be aliens. There’s no other explanation.”

“Yeah, because there’s no way I could possibly want to give my soon-to-be marefriend a present on her birthday.”

“How’d ya know it was my birthday?” she looked directly into Diamond’s eyes now. “Wait… marefriend?!”

“For somepony who gets the best grades in class, you sure are dense. Luckily for you that I’m around to smooth out all your rough edges.” Apple Bloom was again nuzzled by the rich pony.

“Gee, Diamond Tiara, I dunno what to say. But I ain’t got any feelings for ya.” She gulped as she she scratched her mane. “No hard feelings, right?”

“Pff, I won’t take no for an answer.” Diamond Tiara’s eyes, wide as they can be, flinched. She went cross-eyed and ground her teeth together. “You will be my marefriend.”

“Yep. It’s aliens.” She whimpered and then pushed the crazy pony away. Launching herself away, she ran for her life toward the farmhouse, away from the nonsense. As expected, it was not long before she was once again being pursued.

“Get your sexy, blank flank back here!”

She was stricken with utter terror. The girl was even worse now than when she was a bully, something she never thought possible. Tears were in her eyes, but she forced them back as she weaved through a grove of trees. What had she done wrong with her life to lead to this? She might never know, but she silently prayed that if she was caught now she would come to a swift end.

Unpredictably, she managed to make it within the safety of her home. She huffed and puffed and was ready to fall over. But she was alive.

A weight around her shoulders suddenly caught her attention. She looked down and noticed that she still had her ‘gift’. She shuddered and thrust the bag onto the floor. It clattered until it came to a stop and its contents spilled out. It was merely a book.

She walked over to the book and picked it up. Attached to the book’s cover was a note:

Apple Bloom,

If you’re reading this note, then that means you’ve acquired my diary, and for that I am glad. I wouldn’t normally give somepony else something so personal, but I saw little other hope of expressing my unwavering love for you. I am not as good at doing that as you might think I am, and this diary has all my written accounts that explain why I bullied you so much when we first met. The truth of the matter is that I find you unbearably cute.

Love,

Diamond Tiara

She gagged, crumpled the note, and threw it over her shoulder. She thought against reading the diary entirely at first, but the note had practically begged her to read it. Hesitant, she opened the diary to the first page.

Psych. As if I would ever give you my diary. You’re always so fun to tease, blank flank!

There was three, soft knocks on the door. “Oh, Apple Bloom! Won’t you let me in?” Diamond Tiara singsonged.

Ready to confront the bully’s antics this time, she opened the door. “Ha, ha, ha. You got me good this time. Made me believe you had feelings for me and everything!”

Diamond Tiara dropped her act, busting out into a fit of giggles. “It’s just too easy to get to you blank flank. You should have seen the look on your face when I said I’d take no for an answer.”

“I didn’t find it very funny.” She pouted and glared at Diamond.

“Who cares what you think?” Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes and sniggered. “You’re just a blank flank.”

The pink filly suddenly closed the distance between them and whispered into her ear. “I wasn’t lying though. I really do find you unbearably cute.”

Apple Bloom was flustered and surprised, unable to say anything in return. Diamond Tiara seized this opportunity to steal a kiss from her. She felt flush as she gasped and put her hooves to her mouth.

“Mmm…” Diamond Tiara licked her lips. “That was so delightful. I’ll remember this always. My first kiss. With that, I can finally let you go. That is, unless you don’t want me to.”

When the filly didn’t get any response, she began trotting merrily out of the home. That is, until Apple Bloom jumped onto her. Once on the ground, their forelegs intertwined, Apple Bloom passionately kissed her back.

“I don’t know what you did with Diamond Tiara, Ms. Alien, but I reckon you’ll make a wonderful marefriend.”

Author's Note:

This served as a good break from the newest piece I'm working on, Effigy of a Dragon. I do hope that this one-shot remained upbeat and funny to you, although I do understand if you felt it could have been better.

Still, I didn't want to spend too much time thinking of the design of its narrative, as I was having lots of fun creating something non-serious whilst providing you all something while I continue my efforts on other, more serious projects.

Regardless, I hope you all enjoyed.