• Member Since 17th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 17th, 2019

Kickback


You're stupid pretty. I'm pretty stupid.

T

Spike never told Rarity the truth about her power...


This is my entry into a Horror story challenge on Equestria Amino. Wrote it in about an hour and a half during School today. Hope ya enjoy!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 7 )

Very disturbing , good job.

As a fine writer of the dark myself, I would have to say, that you've differently earned my like and fav.

Not bad. I have some issues with Spike's character here, mostly the fact that he is going along with this with no apparent attempts to stop this madness. Another curious thing is how Rarity got to this point in the first place. I don't buy that, between the other four girls, they couldn't overpower and/or otherwise incapacitate Rarity until they can find a counter-charm or something. Of course, these things don't actually harm the story. It's just me being over-analytical.

All in all, well done. You gave me a bit of a fright.

This is the story that rivals Cheerilee's Garden in its gruesome nature. Great job! :heart:

"With all but a single thought, the babbling mare was promptly silence. Rarity's horn sparked a beam of green light, hitting the pink pony. That silence was quickly torn to shreds as she began to scream. There was a grotesque singing sound as the shining, perfect gold burned away her fur and skin, coating her body in white hot glimmering metal. Where there was still flesh now bled, something cutting out from below the surface. Diamonds grew out from the mare's body, the edges of razor sharp crystal slicing away at her flesh as they embedded themselves onto the outside of her figure. The hair of her mane and tail felt as though each strand was being ripped out one by one by the magic now merging with her body but the pain in the rest of her body blinded her from it.

Pinkie Pie stared up at Rarity as she sat atop the throne, looking down at her with a light cackle in her voice as the unicorn tortured her. That would be the last thing Pinkie would ever see. Blood spilled from around her eyes as they were pushed out from the inside by large, shimmering gems. Pinkie's screaming slowly came to an end as her mouth was solidified shut in gold, her teeth turning to silver."

You paint lovely word pictures.

ALL MUST BE RARITY!!! :raritystarry:

Not like this wretched mare before her now. Rarity became evermore disgusted with the pink pony's appearance as she rambled on, her mane deflating as she screamed...and screamed... Rarity had had enough. With all but a single thought, the babbling mare was promptly silence. Rarity's horn sparked a beam of green light, hitting the pink pony. That silence was quickly torn to shreds as she began to scream.

How did it get silent in the first place?

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