Latenighter meets Twilight Sparkle

by 21latenighter

The Beginnings of an author and a friendship

Latenighter and Pinkie pie began their trek back to Ponyville when Pinkie Pie suddenly burst out laughing.

"What's so funny Pinkie Pie, and could I get in on the joke?" Latenighter asked curiously to the pink earth pony.

"Oh Latey, we ran all around Ponyville today and didn't get a single thing done, you must have changed because that would of driven you nuts," Pinkie said as another hearty laugh took her.

"I guess Pinkie," Latenighter said as a giggle came over him, "But at least I got to meet Twilight Sparkle, who will undoubtedly never speak to me again after I tell her.." Latenighter began.

"Tell her what?" came the voice of the unicorn, Twilight Sparkle.

"Where did you come from?" Latenighter asked the purple unicorn.

"Yea, where did you come from, sounds like another attempt by the writer to make a good story," Pinkie Pie said as she looked to Twilight with a questionable look.

Twilight acted like she hadn't heard the last part and answered their question. "Magic, duh," Twilight said, a little too blunt. "Now what are you going to tell me?" Twilight asked.

Latenighter then began to tell her about the events of his day after he had rudely and abruptly left their lunch meeting. Twilight listened contently to his story, sometimes looking at him with disbelief, and sometimes with trust. After Latenighter had finished his explanation, Twilight waited for a couple moments to comprehend the information that had been relayed to her, she spoke.

"Latenighter, why are you still a farmer?" Twilight asked.

"Well Twilight, you would get the same answer from Applejack, as I understand the two of you are friends, but it's in my blood, and some traditions just can't be broken that easily," Latenighter answered.

"Pinkie told me that you are trying to be an author pony, and that story was amazing, I just don't comprehend why you haven't gone after your dream," Twilight said to the Pegasus farmer.

"I haven't thought much of it when I farmed, because it was the only thing my family ever knew, and it was the only thing I was taught. I guess I could focus a little more time on my writing.... huh.... hey, what gives.," Latenighter said as a white aura formed around him and levitated him up off of the ground. The two mares watched with awe and the slightest touch of fear as the Pegasus lifted off the ground as the white aura grew and covered the pony. The aura then partially blinded the ponies as it faded quickly and the Pegasus hit the ground with a thud.

"Huh...., what happened?" Latenighter asked slowly as he rose back to his hooves. The two mares were smiling smiles that could only be described as Pinkie sized. He began to look around at his body to see what had changed. He stopped when he looked to his flank, now fully cutie marked. "I got my.., my..., cutie mark?" Latenighter asked himself. The mark was an open book with a quill writing upon one page, and the other page shown the night sky, complete with the glorious moon, which had been Latenighter's friend for as long as he could remember.

"WHOOOOPEEEEEE!!!!!!" Latenighter yelled as he began to dance around like a young colt, snorting and making excited horse noises. The two mares joined in and danced around with the newly cutie marked stallion before he took off the ground and back towards the old farm house. The two mares watched him as he flew at such a speed that a mach cone began to form around him. Then out of nowhere, Pinkie looked to a cloud and began speaking to it.

"So to make a long story short, Latenighter is gonna talk to his family and eventually Princess Luna about how Twilight Sparkle helped him get his cutie mark. And now I am going to climb back into the world of you humans and find my friend the writer and hit him upside his head with his laptop and get him to write better stories without help from yours truly," Pinkie Pie said before pulling out a small stick and opened up a portal in the middle of the road and jumped through before waving a hoof at the unicorn. "Bye Twilight, and bye readers, hope you might of enjoyed my talking," Pinkie said before closing the portal and entering the human world and wait, that's my laptop.............................

Goodbye everypony!!!!

Comments

[Vertigo22]

I'd been meaning to finish this, yet I kept getting caught up in other things. Anyways, I've now finished it... and...

I'll be brutally honest: I liked it, and I didn't like it. Allow me to list what I liked first.

First, and definitely foremost, I really liked the moments between Latenighter and Princess Luna. They were cute and even heartwarming. It's what I feel worked in The Story of Latenighter. I felt really personal. I'll get to this more in a little bit.

I'll also give you credit for the scene with Ma. That was pretty decent.

I also feel you got the characters personalities mostly right. I'll admit though, I've never been a fan of Pinkie constantly breaking the fourth wall… even if that's her schtick. Oh well, I can't fault writers for doing that.

I'll also give you credit for having a pretty humorous ending. Despite what I just said, I found that funny. You also didn't do a bad job with Pinkie’s other fourth wall breaking moments.

Now, onto what I didn't care for. Please note: I'm going to be as blunt as possible, but I don't mean any harm.

First up, remember what I said about how the moments between Luna and Latenighter felt personal? Well, I feel that—outside of those moments—the story lost a lot of emotional impact. I feel you missed the opportunity to have the story be like the aforementioned “Story of Latenighter”, but with him and Twilight having a discussion over writing, storytelling, etc.

My second issue is the pacing. This is more for the beginning than anything else.

I feel that Latenighter’s reasoning for leaving the restaurant—while not bad—was rushed. When I first commented, I said there should've been more build up, and I stand by that.

While I'm at it, I wasn't fond of the issue he had with Rainbow Dash. It's more a case of “show, don't tell”. Especially since it's never resolved.

I could go ahead and nitpick at other things, but I'll summarize my feelings on the story now: it's not bad but any means, but it's not the best. There are grammatical errors, pacing issues, and—to be honest—i think this would've worked better as a one shot with only Latenighter and Twilight.

But, I enjoyed it. Don't take what I said the wrong way, Latenighter.

[21latenighter]

7611740 well thank you for your review, I do like to get both positive and negative reviews, but there have been so many nasty remarks given that nobody wants to give them, so I applaud you on your remarks, to be honest, towards the end, I was getting a little rushed myself, and took an easy way out, a mistake that I will not make again.

My scene with ma Dirt though, that is kinda what goes on in my house. I actually based Ma Dirt on my own mom, to the tee. I am glad you liked it.

Pacing, something that I have never been very good at, I guess it is just the way I think when I write. When I write, I see the story play out before me, and I don't really see the pacing, and I get into a little hurry.

Yea, Latenighter and Rainbow Dash, huh, I could definitely work on that relationship a little more. I tried working with a different side of Rainbow Dash then I am used to, I know that sounds weird, but in my other oc stories, I took advantage of the sensitive side of Rainbow, while also keeping her ego and swag.

still I am glad that you enjoyed this story of Latenighter and one of his adventures, and I hope you enjoy future stories that I come up with, as you are one of my few commenters, and I appreciate all of your comments, so don't think a little criticism is going to hurt me,