After nearly five years, Latenighter's old friend Starlet Gaze returns from canterlot. Follow these two as they patch their friendship together again and maybe something more....
Chapters (2)
- Member Since 29th Apr, 2016
- offline last seen Feb 6th, 2019
21latenighter
she could change the future, all she had to do was give up her past, and all of her friends, could she do it....
21latenighter
Joined 29th Apr, 2016 ·
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Hmm. It's not the worst, but I think there's room for improvement.
The main issue for me is just how conveniently everything plays out. Starlet (I love that name, by the way) shows up out of the blue, after the two had some kind of falling out. I'm curious to know what exactly happened between them, and why Latenighter still feels bad about it, while Starlet seems to have left it behind, but that's beside the point for the moment. Starlet gets mad at him when he takes Luna's side, but he immediately calms her down... because he's good friends with Princess Luna?
Look, you've been on this site for over a year, so I don't think I have to tell you the problems with an OC (named after yourself, no less) just being besties with members of the main cast. You've already got Twilight and Pinkie Pie, and while I can excuse Pinkie Pie on the grounds that Latenighter is a Ponyville native, it just seems too convenient that he also has a solid work relationship with the one pony who just happens to be one pony who can fix Starlet's problem.
It's also strange that Starlet goes from being legit angry with him to flirting with him just a few hours later. That's some borderline bipolar mood shifting.
Finally, Luna's reasoning for rejecting Starlet as the royal astronomer is, well, flimsy. It basically boils down to "Starlet is too good for this job." If anypony can help Starlet deepen her appreciation for the night's beauty, it's Princess Luna. If anyone is going to teach Starlet anything new about the night sky, it's the pony who arranges it every night.
Anywho, hope you find this helpful, and keep writing!
8159415 ok, firstly, thank you for reading this through before leaving a comment! And now for the other stuff... well kinda. First, though I do have this as a one shot, my previous stories with this oc have gone into detail about the relationships with Twilight and Princess Luna, so I'm not upset about that, that was my fault for not adding them.
Your second opinion, Starlet wasn't really angry at him, more just the situation, again, my fault.
As for your third opinion, I did actually cover this, and I will quote "Yes my friend, I did reject her, but only for her own good... when she looks to the night sky, she sees beauty and knowledge, and the royal astronomer would only see the pony behind it... she would only learn what she already knows.."
I do get your point about Luna helping her, but again, I did cover this, "Yes Starlet Gaze, we think you will grow to become a great astronomer, if given the right opportunity.." she said with a smile, "which is why we want you to begin your new studies here at the Ponyville tower, and report to us your findings about the night and it's beauty"
Ok, as for the name and all, my account was named after my oc, not the other way around. In the end however, I enjoyed reading through this, and I'm glad this story caught your eye, even if it needs improvement in your eyes, but nonetheless, thank you for your opinion!