Rainbow Dash is the fastest girl in Canterlot High, in more ways than one. Fastest racer, check. Fastest smart mouth, check. Fastest guitar player, check. But there’s something that separates her from the rest of her peers… something that stops her in her tracks without it. Rainbow Dash is bound to a wheelchair.
When her two friends Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle find a strange new power lurking around the school grounds, the two can’t resist investigating and studying it. Turns out this strange power is much more tenacious and vicious than they first realised and its trapped one of their friends beyond their reach. The empty wheelchair behind them is proof enough that Rainbow Dash is in trouble despite finding herself in a world so much like her own. However, every world is different from each other. And this new world has a walking Rainbow Dash.
Now it’s up to the remaining Equestria Girls to get this wheelchair bound Rainbow Dash back into her own world before the two worlds merge together and force the speedy Element of Loyalty into a wheelchair of her own… forever.
AN: Even though this is the second My Little Pony fan-fiction I've been writing, it is actually the first that I've posted anywhere. The funny thing is, the creation of this story stemmed from a dream I had a while ago. Hope you all like it.
Rated Teen as I don't want to go too intimate in any romance scenes that I may have.
This looks interesting. I like your idea of an alternate Equestria Girls, which is connected to the main one the same way the pony world is.
Also, I noticed the "For Want of a Nail" you set up. So I assume the two Rainbow Dashes are in each others' worlds then?
7458067
I'm sorry. i have no idea what you mean by 'for want of a nail'. But you are going ot have to wait until the next chapter is up to find out where both Rainbow Dashs are.
7458697 For Want of a Nail is basically how when the change of one small detail results in massive changes in the future. If I am getting this correctly, in the main EqG verse, the van hit Rainbow Dash's father, resulting in his demise, but in the alt verse, the van hit her, strapping her into a wheelchair.
7458714
Ah. I see now. Thanks for clearing that up. I'm kind f into the whole multi-verse thing but I had no idea there was a name or phrase for it. I just figured that there were multiple worlds out there that were much the same as each other just with minor differences.
Little tidbit:
EqG Dash's dad isn't dead.
7458800 That is actually called a trope. (It is not a cliché, mind you, it's a totally different thing.)
Also, I wasn't quite sure about whether Dash's dad was dead or not, the story doesn't make that clear.
7458808
oh.yeah, I get confused on technical terms.
I wrote the dads in a bit later. I'd rather not bombard everything on everyone (learnt that lesson the hard way somewhere else).
Poor Rainbow. I enjoyed this update - you can really feel the emotions in this one. I can't wait for the next one!
Nice chapter on a day I can't sleep
+1
more.
yay
This story is really interesting so far. A wheelchair-bound Rainbow Dash in an alternate world is a pretty good concept. The emotions are very well written, and I'm curious to see where things are going.
However...there is one thing I really don't like...and that is Applejack's accent. I think you way overdid it, and it is actually very hard to understand what she's saying during most of the story. I have to read every sentence more than once just to understand her. This is actually a very common problem that a lot of writers do. My advice is to check out those 'How to write Applejack'
tutorials on this site. They are actually very helpful.
Overall though, aside from her accent, this is a really good story and I'm confused over why it hasn't gotten more comments.
7578126
Where can I find these tutorials? I may need to go back and rewrite what I've done with her speech.
7579931 I found them simply by Googling them. Try searching for 'How to write Applejack' or 'Applejack accent' or something along those lines.
Do you think you could add a POV tag at the start of chapters or scene changes? All the characters are named exactly the same so its really hard to tell when its Alternate universe RD and original universe RD until something specific is mentioned.
7581389
other than the first chapter which has both worlds in it as well as a dream/memory, every odd chapter is with the Rainbow Dash from Equestria Girls and every even chapter is with the wheelchair bound Rainbow Dash. but I'll put something in the chapters. maybe in the titles... I just, kind of like the idea of surprise a little...
This is getting interesting. Sorry, I don't really have anything clever to say so I'm just gonna post this comment here to show my support.
Uwa, this is nuts.
7598823 what's wrong?
7599023
Nothing's wrong - I love this. A lot of dramatic things happening such as that dream, you know? I hope they can manage to resolve things.
7599702
You had me worried there. Glad you like it though. :)
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/36/Mr_Belvedere.jpg
"Magic, duh"
Best explanation ever.
7643956 Don't know it, sorry. I just picked a name that sounded good
Great story so far, looking forward to more (hopefully soon!)
7645578 It's an old tv show. In it, Mr Belvedere is a butler, so when you had a butler in your story with a similar name that's just where my head went
7646570 Fair enough
Do tell, which world is Rainbow Dash in here? From what I got this is the world the other Rainbow Dash is from, and that WW in the beginning didn't quite help (it did in the last chapter because that was in the canon EqG verse).
I think you've exaggerated with Applejack's accent a little bit, it's coming off as too strong for me. Granted, it's not that easy to put it into written text to begin with.
Seems like Vice-Principal Discord knows a lot more that what he's letting out. My guess is that he knows how this happened.
Come again? The other Sunset? Do elaborate.
Okay, some context. This is occuring before EqG4. That's one less magic-infused monster RD has to explain, I guess.
Quite an interesting story. Needs moar though, always needs moar
Curious to see how will main world dash react to alternate world romance shenanigans. And hey, there IS magic on alt world! Didn't expect that.
@ rcmero - the use of WW in the start of the odd numbered chapters refers to Wheelchair World. Must have slipped my mind to actually mention that little detail.
With Applejack's accent, I've already been told that it's too strong, but because I'm too far into the story, having to go back and edit everything she says in both worlds would just be too much of a hassle, so I've decided to leave it for this story and lessen the accent in any other stories I happen to write in the future.
The 'other me' that Sunset was talking about is actually the Sunset that we first meet back in the Equestria Girls movie. The way I see it, the Fall Formal, the Battle of the Bands and the Friendship Games all happened in one year.
@ everyone - I am sorry for the delay in weekly updates. Aside from currently writing chapter 13 on paper, I'm having a little trouble trying to get myself to continue typing up chapter 12 as well as working through my other commitments. so please bare with me. I haven't abandoned this.
Good work! Keep it up!
On a second note, now curious about Lightning Dust and Indigo Zap's relationship is....
...alchemy? Fortune teller, alchemist and illusionist living in a mansion? Interesting.. though such abilities don't look like they can help the way Rainbow wants.
This is interesting so far, though it feels a little.. lost, at times? Or rather, with each chapter change, it seems to fling itself directly into the situation - there could be a little more 'transition', so to speak. I'm not sure how to explain :P
7759936 I'm sorry, I don't understand. do you meant that things are going too fast?
7763574 Not quite. Took me a while to find the right word: I mean the transitions are rather jarring, going from one to another.
I think I feel like, we have chapter A where stuff happens, then chapter B shows stuff happening in the other world, but there's been time going on between that, and you feel 'thrown' into it and need some time to reorient yourself to figure out where exactly you are in the story.
Or to better explain it:
Chapter A, world 1: events happen between 10;00 and 13:00
Chapter B, world 2: events happen between 13:00 and 14:00
Chapter C: world 1 again: events happen between 14:00 and 15:00.
So essentially, stuff happened on world 1 between 13 and 14, but we don't see it.
At least, that's the impression I got while reading - not sure if it's entirely accurate or just my impression though, but it feels like each chapter could use a little bit more... bridging of events between the new chapter, and the previous chapter in the same universe?
If that makes sense.
7763585 I understand what you're trying to say and I am trying to link the chapters within the two worlds together, but I admit that there are also times where a story just can't continue with the little details that don't really mean anything. Hopefully, once I manage to get into gear and continue with typing up the next chapter, that will solve a little of the issue.
7763897 I do hope that comment didn't kill your writing! Still eager to see more ;P
7865609 not at all, i've just been putting off the typing. plus finishing making 1000 paper cranes got in the way of everything else. don't worry, the next chapter should be coming soon.
Oh noes adaptation
Good work mate enjoyed reading the chapter, looking forward to more
Nice music. Draining magic is NOT a good sign, though. Maybe if she loses all her magic she'll be stuck as a cripple? Will the other dash be able to walk when she comes back, of she gets magic of her own? The plot thickens
I was just thinking about this fic yesterday. Glad to see my I can affect the world around me with my brainpower!
8006258 yesterday must have been a day of thinking. my dad had a similar thing happen except with the post office. he doesn't know about the story.
As a side note, using a chapter like this as a 'message' is frowned upon by admins. If you want to do essentially the same thing, make a blog post and tag this story in it - I believe it's a drop down option near the bottom. This'll notify people who read this fic of it in their notification feed.
Good luck with the championship and getting your data back!
8116817 I understand. And I admit I am still a noob when it comes to the workings of this site. I'm also not too familiar with blogs and all that. However I will try to work on it when next I get the chance. Also, thanks for the luck, I have a feeling that I'm going to need it.