House Fire

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Comments ( 7 )

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Eonflare

Eonflare #1 · Jun 25th, 2016 · · ·

Well, interesting, but you really need to fix the grammar. All to often I saw wrong usage of 'too', and 'to'.
And try to keep within the same tense. It get confusing when the writing implies that an event happened and happens at the same time.

Vexerfrost

Vexerfrost #2 · Jun 25th, 2016 · · ·

7336230
Thanks I'll keep an eye on that, grammar is evil, and it kicks my butt, however the only way to improve is to write and get better with the help of others. So thank you for pointing these things out. I want to be a better writer so I can provide better stories for everyone to read

Ok tried to fix what I saw, Im sure I still have quite a few mistakes, but if anyone else sees any feel free to point it out so I can make changes.

And to anyone who took the time to read this story, Thank you

Eonflare

Eonflare #3 · Jun 25th, 2016 · · ·

7336285 Hmm, you know what, maybe it would help if you read it to yourself, out loud, word for word. See if it sounds right.

Brony Of Dust

Brony Of Dust #4 · Jun 25th, 2016 · · ·

Ok you have my interest.

danail24

danail24 #5 · Jun 27th, 2016 · · ·

Hmmmm... a character who hates change. Well I can relate to that. It takes time for me to get used to the changes happening in my life such as getting a job. Still, this Alex guy needs to grow up and deal with the changes in his life. I mean I don't get it. Sure he's devastated because his house burnt down but it's not an all loss. Not only does he get his stuff back but he also gets to travel with an incredibly buxom and sexy unicorn b@#%$ that has a rather nice woman's body! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) If I could I'd say to him: