• Member Since 3rd May, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Guiding_Passion


Just a lurker these days, you didn't see me lol

T

(Canceled tell further notice)
This story follows the journey of my two OC characters Tristem and Cao within the Conversion Bureau universe (specifically Chatoyance's version of that universe) as they try to come to grips with the inevitable extiction of there species and there world.
Uncertain as to weather it is better to go through the conversion and live as ponies or die as humans Tristem and Cao decide that the only one who can help them with there indecision is Princess Celestia. So they decide to write to her asking if she will answer their question and help resolve their conundrum.
Will they convert, Will they die as humans or will something unforescene happen read on to find out.

Edit: From the second chapter on I am no longer writing Celestia's responses to Tristem and Cao. Credit for that goes to the mysterious Lady C. I will not tell you guys yet who Lady C is it will be revealed to you all at the proper time. Until then I'll let you guys guess who it is. Who know though you never tell it just might be Princess Celestia herself.
Image: Princess Celestia's Coat of Arms was created by deviant art user Lord Giampietro I didn't create it.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 17 )

i like it, hopefully it wont turn into the I FUCKING LOVE EQUESTRIA YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH

861249
Well I'm glad someone thought it was okay. Although I'm never going to finish this I've given up on writing and on this site as well. That and I've decided that the Conversion Bureau is cursed and no longer want any part of it, sorry.

Thought I will tell you this much it was never my plan for it to turn into a Love Equestria or whatever it is you were thinking of. I personally think this paints both Ponies and Humans in a very bad light and I just want to pretend that it doesen't exist anymore.

889675 sad, very sad. Why have you stopped writing? because no one like's your fic? that happened to me, my first fic, put i didnt give up, look at me nao!

Because I... well I guess I could keep going with this one and see where it leads. The main problem I have is that I'm really conflicted in my opinion on the Conversion Bureau thing. On the one hand I find it facinating but it also fills me dread. Honestly do you even realize that these stories are basically about the annilation of the human race at the hands of an alien species. Albight there not shooting at us with death rays but its genocide nevertheless. The very nature of this senario bothers me.

I mostly started writing this so that my alter ego could explore this strange senario. Maybe I should continue due to the fact that the emotion that the
characters are feeling are based on the question I have asked myself when dealing with this universe. Namely what would I do in this situation and what conclusion would I come to. I think I will continue this suddenly I feel like I want to keep going and maybe I find my answer.

Thanks for convincing me.

Not bad, but there are some minor gramatical issues along with some sentances and the way they are worded. The story seems solid but I can see it fail in some parts in the near future, but keep up the good work.

900717
I see well than I'll read through it again and see if I can catch the errors. In what ways can you see it fail?

900740 Well if your going to paint both sides of the picture (eg Celly and the two humans) there is going to be a lot of bisism from Celly because she can say all the good things about Equestria and then point out how much Earth sucks (lest we forget she'll probs pull the 'convert and be a happy pony or die painfully and maybe alone on Earth and never experiance life at all.') while the two humans can't really say that they that there way of living is fun or safe since they are basicly living on a day to day system of 'wake up, get food, cook crappy food, wait to die or be attacked, then sleep' and repeat until dead. So thats where I think it could fail but I would know because for all I know you could put a seven foot fly that goes around spreading the word of Lord Zenu and handing out free cups of coka-cola. But I am like where its going now so keep up the good work milord.

900831
I thank you for your feedback Banana King I will keep this in mind, and your right this could easily get cliche fortuntly I have a few trump cards to shake things up with. The first I've already eluded to namely if the energy from the barrier is deadly to humans how can Tristem and Cao be sitting only a mer 5 miles from it and be completly unaffected by it.

I knew from the get go that this type of conversion bureau story has been done numerous times, but I still wanted to do one like this. Since at the core of this this is me asking myself what would I do in this situation, and to me that in of itself is a compelling question so here I am writing it.

See Ya Banana King.

Not bad, but could use some work to refine it but its shaping up to be a nice fic.

946078
Thanks for the feedback again Banana King. Sorry for not responding until now been busy.

Not bad but not good at the same time, mainly because they flip flop on ideals several times and Celly feels like she's writing a school report. I felt that this could of used more cooking in the oven since some sentences are awkward and words are in the wrong place, but its still an enjoyable read nevertheless. So keep it up and use a fine tooth comb of grammar or throw a pre-reader on it to get some errors out of it before updating.

1016868
I thank you for your feedback once again Bunnana king. Unfortuntly their is little can do about the grammatical problems for now since my computer is dying at the moment making editing an impossible. I was well aware of some of the problems when I uploaded this, but I wanted to get it posted so I wouldn't lose it. I do plan on going back and fixing the grammer problems with this chapter and the previous one once I resolve these issues.

As for them flip floping on ideals. One of the central themes of this story is that the two main characters veiw of both conversion and of equine kind itself is that its extremly polorized. Thats why I wrote it that way in order to emphasize this point. Though I get the feeling that I overdid it. I'll try and tone it down for the future chapters.

As for Celestia's letter I'm afraid thats outside of my control since I didn't write it. I outsourced that part because I think it will add an interesting element to the story and force me to react to whatever Celestia writes. Unfortunatly the identity of the writer is a secret it will be revealed once the story is finished.

1023150 well grammar is one thing that can be fixed quite easily but the flip flop idea that they're doing right now feels bi-polar as they both go "I like ponies, no wait I don't, but now I do." Have some sort of line or have them lean to one side. Right now I can see why the Celly letters suck, they're not witten by you which brakes up the pace like a brick wall because all authors have a particular writing method and that letter felt like a boot in the face. Now if your doing a colab then it would explain it but if its not then write down the jist of it, give it to said person, get it back and change it to what feels right to you so it doesn't feel off from the rest of the story. Now I know these seem a lot but the major thing I am stressing here is your writting itself, make sure that the story has the Lord Tristrem flare to it instead of 'Lord Tristrem 'n' friends'. In the mean time keep on writing and use google docs as its a cloud and it save regularly and you can write from anyhere you please on any computer. 'Till then, keep it up.

*sigh*
Me- im dissapionted this is cancelled,, i just finished reading this and i was honestly left wanting more:trixieshiftleft:
but arwell. also i can see no reason as to why this got so many dislikes. I guess you just got visited by grammar nazis or somthing:facehoof:
arwell ill thumbs this up ether way

My pony alter ego aka Silver Shadow- well maybe people just dont like the idea of the story :applejackunsure: though i doubt it. Celestias view on the PER will be interesting. i for one Support them but dont think i could join them
Me- Silver you humanity bbetraying bastard. shut up

anyway i take my leave now and wish you good luck in what ever u do in the future

sincerely,
A dissapionted Shadowless_night and Silver Shadow

1148979
I see sorry that I cancelled it, but I'm afraid that finishing it could prove difficult since me and my co writer have had a falling out. I'd like to patch things up with her but she's blocked me I've written an apology but I'd need someone to take it to her.

1211212 well all i can do is wish you good luck my friend

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