follow light star a tribal pony from the Equestria bad lands as she wonders Equestria with her half dragon friend drake as they look for the cure for the strange magic that burns within light.
Chapters (3)
- Member Since 13th Apr, 2016
- offline last seen May 24th, 2020
gaara watkins
hi i'm gaara i like mlp, pokemon, and play zombie and survival horror games. it's nice to meet you ^^
gaara watkins
Joined 13th Apr, 2016 ·
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An editor. An editor! A kingdom for an editor!
Seriously, though. Get an editor. I`m not sure anyone masochistic enough to volunteer, but try to locate such a rare individual. Self-editing in your case is clearly not cutting it. Or even hacking it, really.
7295871 Why get an editor when they could just LEARN TO WRITE INSTEAD. Geez.
7295912
I would assume that they already attempted that and miserably failed.
Joking aside - you can`t learn how to do something, if you have no way to measure how good or bad your effort is. In practical implementation skills, like cooking, you can rely on trial and error method, because when you err, you WILL taste it. In more intellectual pursuits, like writing, peer review becomes necessary to learn. And given how basic the level this particular one needs to start at, a dedicated editor/teacher would do better then a number of reviewers.
On a side note, I must ask - who approved this? This was posted as a first "story", meaning someone from approvers overlooked the obvious problems and slapped it along. Which means that either the standards slipped considerably since the last time I`ve tried to get things approved... Or, more likely, that actual approval depends less on the merits of the story and more on who does the approval, as I`ve long before suspected.
7295968 They've moved to automatic approval. Nobody "pre-reads" stuff any more. And even before the quality of the writing wasn't an issue, only that the fic followed the guidelines of the site and were properly tagged. They've always left critique to peers.
7296033 If you don't have legs, you don't become a runner. If you're blind, you don't become a master archer. If you're dyslexic, you don't become a writer. No use in hitting your head on a wall. Why not instead go look for something that you CAN do and be good at? Reality is harsh.
Neat first chapter
There's room for this to improve, not trying to be rude, I don't mind grammar errors as long as I know what word you were trying say, although in this chapter it sometimes it seems like entire words are missing. Things also seem to be very fast paced as well. Again I'm not trying to rude, I'm a very positive person, I'm just sharing my thoughts.
I would like to see more of this
7296158 As far as I remember, the self-approval option is only for those who have at least two published stories already.
7296174 Have you tried rain dances? Quicker and cheaper, given what the priests charge those days. Or, if you need more process, you might want to consider learning flagellation.
7296666 Pssst. Don't indulge the loony.
7296837
Why not? If you can`t save someone from their own stupidity, try to make the oncoming inevitable as grisly as possible so they`d serve as a lesson and a warning to the rest.
7297322
Don`t bother. You`ll be forever alone. Also, I sincerely doubt it is a good idea to spam someone else`s story with your entirely unimportant woes.