Well, this was an interesting revision. That being said, there's some things you may want to edit. For example, constantly referring to Hondo's wife as that instead of her name, which is Cookie Crumbles, seems rather awkward. Here's some other things.

On his time, he had seen many heavy-chested mares, not to mention the fact that all the princesses had breasts that could crash a watermelon beneath them (not that many stallions would comply if their heads were crushed like that).

I'd replace those with "In", "crush" and "complain".

Another evidence of his age decided to show up as he groaned lowly with the slight pain on his back.

"More" and "in".

I can hear the lust on their voice…

"in" and "voices".

What she had tell him clicked,

"told".

“I’m going to make you feel god, dad.”

"good".

Rarity’s eyes widened as he used her arms to pull her back at the same time he trust inside of her,

"thrust".

Hondo then started to grunt hotly onto her ear as she started scream in pleasure. Finally, Rarity felt it: his member the deepest it could reach and the treasured male essence pouring onto her, which triggered the very same climax she had had before.

And "into" for both of those.

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Done. Thank you very much for the help.