Hi! I'm Techno Azure! I write mostly romance stories, every so often I'll throw in some horror or tragedy. I'm not an amazing writer but I hope you like my stuff! I'm also a digital artist!
"I'm such a crybaby. I keep myself far away from every pony else locked up in my house outside of Ponyville."
Fluttershy is extra depressed lately. Some old memories have been stirred up and she can't keep a handle on her emotions anymore. She's terribly depressed now and her friends want to help her...but they can't.
((So, the blurb for another fan fic I'm doing got mixed up with this one. I apologize for the misunderstanding, everyone.))
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But why though?
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hmm if there had been further explaining as to why flutters would do this and why mane six just walked away like...
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instead of figuring out more this would most likely be a more enjoyable read instead of the abrupt stop in the story after flutters tells them she killed a filly.. a FILLY? lolwut...
P.S. Kinda spoilers if you ask me:
the description has nothing to do with the story, is this meant to troll us or is this an honest mistake, if so you should probably change it to something that fits the story... btw wether should be whether
WARNING! SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THOSE WHO HAVE YET TO READ THIS!
The fact that there is a "Complete" tag on this story makes me have to down vote this.
You have an interesting premise in the short blurb, but the actual story has absolutely NOTHING to do with a stallion or their unwanted child. Instead, you have Fluttershy acting as if she's depressed and her friends are believing her lies, despite what they see, meanwhile she's harboring a dark secret that would even put her in a dungeon? I can't believe that for a second.
On top of all that, there is the whole thing she "did" because she wanted to live. First off, Fluttershy couldn't kill an animal, let alone a small filly. I understand that when your life is on the line, you make some pretty messed up decisions, but I don't think she could do it. Not here. It isn't believable to me, especially since there is no build up. There is nothing about her attitude that shows it in here, either. She's just weeping 99% of the time before she tells the story and then makes the snide remark at her friends. And why would it matter years later if she said anything about the ponies or not? They obviously got away with it, so why track down your only witness and remind them about it, only to "force" them to kill an innocent, too? This story is completely incoherent and honestly, I'm disappointed. It started out okay, but it just deteriorated. I'm sorry, but it left me with a feeling of annoyance since I didn't actually achieve the goal of finding out about this colt/stallion and the fate of this supposed unborn foal.
7286136 AAAH! NO, NO, NO! D= IT'S THE WRONG BLURB!
7285645 IT WAS NOT TO TROLL SO SHUT UP. It was a mistake. That was the blurb for another story I'm writing but by accident it got posted on this one somehow.
I liked this story! I don't really know why, though. Maybe how you embodied the characters, or how the story itself was written, but it just appealed to the stranger side of me.
Keep it up!
How shall we...? Nevermind, there isn't much point. Congrats on your first story, darling!
7286358 That explains a lot more, then!
I figured that was the case. However, for a first story, its not bad, there are some errors that need improvement on, just like everyone else's stories. If my comment upset you, I do apologize.
7286836 Thanks!
7286955 Thanks...I think?
7287034 I expected criticism. Not a fricken @$$load of it, though. I'm a kid. Even writing 1000 words was kind of hard for me.
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Oh, no, darling. I was simply trying to point out that it's almost impossible for somepony to know if they like something without reading it. No worries, however. This was a nice story, though I know it could benefit more from an editor or proofreader. There's a whole group on the likes of that if you're interested in improving.
Oh, and don't let age stop you from writing. Harmony's a child, too. Heavens know everypony is capable of weaving a great tale
~Rares
7287105 Thanks.
7287084
There is a method to criticism; to help you become a better writer and help you keep continuity. I started writing at eleven years old, so don't take criticism hard, okay?
7287914 I'm 13. It's hard for me to not take criticism hard.
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You will learn. When you write, your feels will be hurt by what people say, but you gotta hang in there. It will always be okay. :3
7286681 Plz don't rage I wasn't sure just tryin to give friendly feedback on your story, so descript is for another story I wanna read it!
7288024 P.S. oh cool another young person, I'm 12!
Honestly you're story is better then mine though I'm going to rewrite it and actually try to take my time ah well enough blabbing good luck in the future..
I'm so young...
This was good. Little rough but some practice will take care of that. Well done.
7288367 I was not raging!
Cool, your 12? You know you have to be 13 or older to be on this site, right? ((I'm actually 12 too but turning 13 in three months so I round up, don't tell anybodyyyyyy xD))
7288284 Thanks. You're nicer than some other people who have commented on my stories on other websites.
7288504 Thanks! ^^
7289283
Any time, hun.
If you ever need anything don't hesitate to shoot me an email. Writing young is hard, but you'll do just fine.
This was...interesting. That's really all I can say.
Also I like to imagine that Applejack said 'darlin' ' in this fic because Rarity is rubbing off on her or something.