Unknown Factor
Joined 6th Jan, 2014 ·
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Decent, good premise, but you definitely need an editor. Have a favorite for this, but I want to see it refined and then this will be great!
7656023 I suppose I should seek someone out for editing, I think I saw a group dedicated to helping people edit on this site. Thanks for commenting, is there any thing in particular that you have read that could use editing in the mean time until I find one?
7656073 sorry it's kinda close to midnight here, but I have a basically free day tomorrow, I'll check it out and see what I can do! That good?
7656073 Sounds good. I await your word.
7664150 Hmm maybe, I thought about it and felt it might be a bit cliché. I guess you could consider the level of crime in the GTA universe criminals commit as domestic terrorism. We'll see though, Thanks for the fav and the comment!
Was that vanoss at the end there? If so they are screwed.
7677669 "I made this story with inspiration from GTA V Online and the cheap DC universe rip-offs that I lovingly call everyone's favorite GTA superheroes that clown with each other." There's a hint for you!
7678601 YUSH I NEEW IT!!!
Why does this story have so many dislikes? I mean, it can't be that bad, right? ...Right?
7691449 I don't know, everyone that left a dislike so far hasn't commented why. But the people that left a like had no problems telling me they that they do like it and drop ideas for me to think about. That being said, feel free to tell my your thoughts and criticize.
I can totally see this happening!
7672008 Hey sorry I never got back to ya, been busy with life and wrighting the second chapter. Anyway I'm level 207 last I recalled so I know plenty already. Well on last gen that is, still to poor to get an Xbox one, so if your on next gen and want to tell me about any new weapons, character customizations, vehicles etc. Feel free!
7692363 Alright then, we're evenly up to date I guess.
7692363 when you update again?........
do it or flutters loses an eye
fluttershy
7692984 when u update?
7864824 wrong guy i sorry
7865029 Hey there, sorry I couldn't reply sooner but I've been busy with Work and school. Also my mom's computer took a dump and she's been using mine. I really don't have the time or tolerance to wright with my phone. Honestly I didn't think anyone actually cared that much to read my work but I appreciate you showing me otherwise. I mite start doing this story when I have a few hours of time with my computer before I hand it over to my mother or just do some one shot stories for shits and giggles. Thanks for your comment and support!
Dodobadoop banana bus
where u been?
8406414
Graduating High school, got an Xbox one, hunting for work...and maybe grinding my way back to the top in GTA online from the bottom. Because I accidently transferred my account to the PS4 network. Anyway I've also been restudying my GTA knowledge as far as cars, weapons and gear go. Hopefully I can maintain the motivation to keep going. Maybe it will only take 'ten' months to get the next chapter out!
Holy hell i thought this died glad to see its back though!
8408072
Hey happy to make another person happy. Now lets hope Hurricane Irma doesn't kill me just as I get back into it!
8411788
If that hurricane kills you i will kick its ass into oblivion
8412047
I feel so loved! But any, working on the next entry right now. So hopefully I can get another out by Friday, also there is a roach in my room...I'm waiting for him to scurry after my cheese-its...
8412059
oh noes not the cheez it! better batten down the food hatches.
you take your time on it you hear? i cant wait though for it, so it better be good! is vanoss and crew supposed to be bad or good in this btw?
8412619
Oh I don't know if I should be saying anything just yet? I had a plan of explaining them and the Demon and Viking through the writing of their actions.
8412867
ah okay yeah thats awesome i cant wait lol, itll be epic i assume? it should be its vanoss!
Don't you mean FBI?
8582549
Its a GTA rebranding thing, It really is called FIB instead of FBI.
8582549
FIB is GTA's equivalent to the FBI.
Why does your story have that many disliked?
It's not bad when it comes to how it's written, and the story is decente, maybe sub-par, but not bad.
I've seen shit stories in avery way of the word with significantly more likes than dislikes.