A steaming half full cup of tea sat before Blueblood, beside it was a half eaten croissant upon a small plate with exquisite gold leaf, and newspapers were scattered all around him. Celestia could not help but think that Blueblood was in his element. The chemical smell of ink was heavy in the room and made her nostrils crinkle as it tickled the back of her throat.
Steady, confident strides carried her across the room and brought her to the table where Blueblood worked. As she sat down, she felt the first stabs of worry, the unmanageable sort of worry, the kind that bore down upon one’s withers and crushed the spirit. She eased her rounded, plush bottom down upon a soft, fluffy cushion that was beside the table. She sank into the pillow, wobbled for a moment as she got her balance, and then sat with her head high. Being so tall was hazardous.
“Well?” Celestia asked, one word saying all that needed to be said.
Eyebrow arching, Blueblood raised his cup of tea to his lips, took a small polite sip, and then set his cup down. The faint scent of anise and blackcurrant filled the air. He looked at Celestia, then his eyes darted from paper to paper.
“Where to begin…” Blueblood said in a voice reminiscent of the finest, smoothest silk.
“Nephew,” Celestia replied, acknowledging his words, “I need your summation of opinions being presented. Have I arrived too early?”
“No.” Blueblood took another sip of tea and then leaned over the table as he put his cup back down. “For once, I honestly do not know where to begin. I was not intending to be a tease, but I am still sorting everything out.”
Nodding, Celestia understood that she wasn’t being toyed with. She valued Blueblood’s opinions and his ability to discern the needs of the public, it was almost as if he practiced some obscure form of divination. She would just have to wait.
Eyes narrowing, Blueblood looked his aunt in the eye. “The Las Pegasus Picayune’s senior reporter has a very well written, very eloquent opinion piece in the paper that expresses full support of both you and Luna being married to Gosling, ‘as it should be.’ In one very well written article, he makes the argument for a return to traditional values, sending a powerful message of extended family, and that Luna, who is still a bit of an enigma for the common pony, will be made all the more approachable by having a ‘commoner’ husband. He expresses his opinion that Luna will gain an appreciation and an understanding for the common classes through Gosling, who while he is a traditionalist, is still a very modern pony. He is a fine mix of old and new.”
“Interesting,” Celestia said as she studied her nephew.
“There are more supporters than detractors.” Blueblood took a moment to nibble his croissant, took a sip of tea, and rolled a highlighter pen over the tabletop with his magic. “Gosling is charming, witty, and comical. Many in the press can’t wait to see what he does next. While I will admit, this is not an ideal image for him, in my opinion, it is an image we can work with.”
An image was give and take. The press formed their idea of a public image, Blueblood’s Department of Image formed their own take on a well crafted public persona, and then after a little give and take with the press, a pony would be created, coached, refined, and offered up for public consumption. Said pony would be a fine tuned creation, offering up just what the public both wanted and needed.
“We need to get Gosling back into school,” Blueblood muttered as he shuffled a few papers around. “The image of a young romantic fool will only work so long before ponies begin to get concerned. They need something that inspires a bit more confidence in their rulership. Gosling’s image will be easier to sell to the public if he was the young romantic fool that was maturing into the well-educated, erudite, romantic prince that seeks to better himself so that he might better serve his beloved princesses. That is a preferable image, and one that we can market.”
Blueblood paused, his eyes narrowed into slits, then one eye opened while the other remained almost shut. He stared at his aunt and his head tilted off to one side. A few wrinkles appeared on the top of his muzzle.
“Auntie, what is your opinion on all of this? Are you fine with sharing with your sister?”
“What sort of question is that?” Celestia asked, the sound of faint irritation audible in her voice. Her own eyes narrowed as she regarded her nephew, trying to read him. Blueblood was a tough pony to read and his face was scrunched up in such a ridiculous way that discerning his actual mood was an almost impossible task.
“The question that needs to be asked.” Blueblood’s ears splayed out sideways as he engaged his aunt in a staring match, a silent, unspoken contest of wills. It was a dangerous game and she was capable of destroying him with one nostril flared in a most perfect way. Blueblood hoped that she would not resort to the devastating nostril option.
Celestia’s nostril twitched, but did not flare as she stared at her nephew. The silence became a physical thing, it scurried over the walls like invisible roaches swarming a room, and then Celestia slumped over. “What can I say, Blueblood? That I don’t want my sister to be happy?”
“You can always be honest with me… you know I can be trusted,” Blueblood said in a soft, worried voice that almost sounded… wounded. “I love you, Auntie, and I am one of your most devoted servants. I would die for you. And if you kept me in the dark, it would be insulting.”
Sighing, nodding, Celestia, still slumped over, stared down at the table. “I don’t mind sharing, that’s not the issue. We have in the past… for me, it is a perfectly normal thing to do. In fact, I prefer it. There is a comfort in knowing exactly how my sister’s husband will behave towards her, how he will treat her, and knowing that he is caring for her needs.” Celestia sucked in a deep breath, blinked, and then continued, “What is bothering me is that Luna might feel coerced and wrangled into this against her will, but will go through with it for the sake of my happiness because she still feels so guilty about what she has done. I have no way of knowing what Luna’s true motivations are in this issue. She will tell me what she thinks I want to hear and there is no force on this planet that could make Luna reveal her inner workings on this matter.”
Unmoving, almost stupefied, Blueblood blinked a few times. He did not respond, at least not with words, as he had no idea what to say.
As Blueblood struggled to take in everything just said, Celestia continued to let it all out. “Cadance duped us into confronting this issue from our past… leaving it in the past is not the same as dealing with it, I see that now, but we still have a sticky issue to deal with in the present. Luna will do anything to appease me, she will do anything to punish herself, and I worry that she will follow me into marriage for my sake without taking her own needs into consideration. I worry that she will invite Gosling into her bed, couple with him, and do so without love, all for the sake of obligation and to offer up the illusion that everything is okay for the sake of my happiness.”
Blueblood remained silent.
“I am a little afraid to go forwards as I cannot trust that Luna will be totally honest with me. Everything she says and does will be clouded with my suspicion that she is either punishing herself or attempting to make me happy. I fear that I will never have true peace of mind on this issue.” Reaching up with her foreleg, Celestia wiped her eyes and drew in a deep, shuddering breath. “I am also conflicted because I know deep down in my heart that I will allow Gosling to go to her bed, part her thighs, and couple with her with the hopes that somehow, he will reach her, that she will have some moment of connection, some realisation of love, and be happy.”
Rubbing his front hooves together, Blueblood’s brow furrowed.
“Already, I am entertaining these foolish fantasies that Gosling will somehow reach Luna, make her feel loved, banish her loneliness in much the same way that he is easing mine, and she will have a happy, fulfilling life with him… I even dreamed about it last night and I woke up with this stupid, happy grin on my face.” Celestia’s voice lowered and became husky. “He just rolled her over onto her belly and took her as I watched, and she became happy, all of her troubles just melting away.” Shaking her head, Celestia sighed. “That is not how one fixes a troubled pony.”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Blueblood said in a very serious voice, knowing that he was treading on thin ice, “for some ponies, the physical aspect of love comes first. You tend to focus on emotional connections, Auntie. You make emotional connections and then over time, allow for intimate contact.”
Fearful, Blueblood could see that he had Celestia’s attention. He looked at her and felt his frogs begin sweating. His ears felt hot and itchy. He had to keep going, he had already committed himself.
“Princess Luna strikes me as a very physical pony,” Blueblood continued, “and for her, having the physical connection might be just what she needs to make the emotional connection. I know that is how it is for me.”
“Would you mind expanding upon that?” Celestia asked in a voice thick with embarrassment.
His face grew hot, sweat poured from his frogs, and Blueblood feared that he would need a shower before this was over. He could feel his mane clinging to his neck. He had to keep going, no matter how embarrassing this might be. Anything for his beloved Empire…
“Raven and I loathed one another,” Blueblood began in a quiet, strained voice. “We only tolerated one another for the sake of our professionalism. We both disgusted one another. She hated me, I hated her, there was a mutual sense of loathing.” Blueblood drew in a deep breath, and decided upon a condensed version with as few details as possible.
“Cadance meddled with us, as Cadance is wont to do, and after much of her meddling, Raven and I had ourselves a good old fashioned hate screw. There was kicking, there was biting, there was bruising, we both took a tumble down the stairs together, fighting the whole way down, each of us trying to make the other take the brunt of the damage…” Blueblood’s words trailed off and he turned away from his aunt, unable to bear looking at her. Sweat rolled down his neck and he felt soiled, sullied, and out of sorts.
He blinked a few times, took a deep breath, then another, and then continued, “For us, after several such, uh… encounters, we realised that there was a genuine sense of love and affection between us. We just couldn’t express it like normal ponies. So I learned to chuck wine bottles at her head… but I would never hit her of course…. and she would flog me with riding crops. I behave badly and she punishes me… puts me in my place… robs me of my power. But we had to have a physical connection before the emotional one had a chance to blossom.”
“I see,” Celestia said in a voice that was just a little squeaky.
“And uh, well…” Blueblood cleared his throat and stared up at the ceiling. “In light of the Tantabus incident, perhaps what Luna needs is somepony to punish her, uh, paddle her in a very loving and corrective way and let her know that she is a bad, bad pony that is in dire need of strict, stern discipline of the corporal punishment variety—”
“Well, Blueblood, it was lovely talking to you… I have to go… I need to go and pour weak acid down into my ears!” Celestia rose in a hurry, her eyes wide, fearful, and horrified. She shook her head. “This conversation never happened… when we speak again, this will not be mentioned. I… I am going to go and have a drink. A strong one. Alcohol is in fact, a solution, according to science. I bid you good day.”
And with that, Celestia vanished.
“I was just trying to be helpful,” Blueblood murmured to the now empty room. He sighed and his ears drooped in a dejected manner against his face. “I’m a bad pony…”
Poor Celestia. Brain Bleach has not yet been invented in Equestria... or has it?
7176751
It's called "180 Proof Rum"
So that is how they came together. I Like it.
Oh dear. I kept thinking that Blueblood was spurring her into that admission with knowledge of an eavesdropping Luna to help further this whole dilemma but... this is better. I'm not sure which of the two I feel more sympathy for after that near-train wreck of a conversation.
I believe "began" should be "begin".
Oh, sweet foolish Celestia. No amount of weak acid will ever get that out of your head.
7176769
I have a feeling she'll go straight for the 240-proof stuff (zap-apple cider, guaranteed to be 20%
coolerstronger than pure alchohol).Oh you were doing so well Blue...you just didn't know when to close your argument.
7176790 yush.
Kudzu has once again managed totally believable WTF moments.
7176769
7176806
Notice she said "Alcohol is a solution". I think she is going pure moonshine here. Maybe Everclear or something.
That's all right, Blueblood. Raven would be happy to help you with that.
7176917
LOL yep she will love to do that. it might even hurt
Can I say that I'm still kinda holding out for Cadance to suddenly show up and say "OMG, I totally forgot about that quirk of the law, that wasn't part of the plan at all?" Like, she's done it for a good reason, but her "oversight" still seems a little mean...
Bah, humbug. I love this version of Blueblood.
I can't decide if I like this one or the one from Luna's Lacunae better. This one is more self-aware, I suppose.
7176965
It's like removing a band-aid. Pull it off fast, it hurts. Pull it off slow, it hurts. Opinions differ on the proper method.
I am laughing so hard I almost feel obligated to not ask for changes.
However, you are still wonderfully crafting this fine literary gift and who am I to dictate what you do.
If you feel it can be polished, polish away, but if you don't care to, i find it a wonderful addition to the tale regardless.
--- One psychopathic maniacal Fox
7177021
They do? All I ever hear is 'Do it fast, it'll hurt anyway.'
Yes, Blueblood... Luna's loneliness can only be solved in one way:
img14.deviantart.net/0387/i/2013/272/5/0/that_s_a_paddlin__by_t_3000-d6oj2rw.png
7176965
Tough love, baby. She's like a therapist that's forcing you to confront a deep-rooted issue, nothing more.
Ehh, could be worse.
I propose getting her drunk.
Cadance is best meddler. Cadance for president of the United Medlers Republic.
Huh. Well, it might work? I dunno.
I knew getting drunk would work, just guessed the wrong alicorn.
7176899
Absinthe man. That's the only thing to get that shit out.
7176665 Wow that makes me wish I could support you on patreon( I know I spelled that wrong). You have amassing skills as a writer. Not only do you get them out fast you get them out fast with high quality. I may not be able to give you monetary support but I can give you moral support.
I have been really enjoying this story so far and I have also enjoyed it's prequel. Plus I'm also almost done with The Weed as well around 6 or so chapter are left until I'm finished.
So one more question. In what order would you say would be the best to read the rest of your stories within the Weed verse' ?
7177470
Some stories are obvious sequels. Follow those. Starting with The Weed is always good. This story and its prequel work well as stand alone fics.
7177525 thanks
7177525 ah another amazing story series to read I see. Thanks for the quality work.
I just wanted to give a shout up for Climbing Ivy and her friends. Still some of the best and most enjoyable OC's I've ever read!
Oh come on, Celestia. You're like... a billion years old, surely you've got at least a little kink in you.
7176965 I'm more hoping for payback. Friendly, familial payback from her loving, terrifying aunts.
7178373
...now that you mention it, I agree. She does deserve some kind of payback... especially since she left it up to the press to relay that tiny detail
7178373
She uses Twister to maintain celibacy.
7178551 I can totally see how all that sweaty, awkward, grinding close contact would be an effective celibacy aid.
7177021 for particularly painful bandaids, grab a pair of scissors and cut off the soft part so that you don't have to rip the sticky parts off; let the stuff gradually lose stickiness so it does not hurt three days later.
If it is stuck to hair (as with some legs), and is not losing stickiness, use scissors to cut the hair.
Lol tia needs to go to Starlight for mind Alteration
7177336
Yo! Mah poison o' choice.
Diluted or naw?
Just realized something. Flurry Heart is cannon here, yet you also say that alicorns give birth to triplets. Is this going to be addressed later?
7182733 If I recall correctly the author has stated how it differs for Cadence as she ascended to an alicorn, rather than being born as one.
"LA LA LA LA LA NOT LISTENING ANYMORE!"
7182733 he already did, kinda.
Cadence is the first ARTIFICIAL alicorn to give birth, so her births don't follow the rules of natural ones, such as Celestia and Luna, where they always have triplets.
7530699 tmi blueblood tmi
Alcohol isn't a solution though. It's a category of organic molecules. Things like wine and vodka are solutions though.