7145209 LOL

I am loving this story so far and I'm impressed that Catrina has made it up to Mirage's level of power.

7145572 Pardon my ignorance but who are you referring too? The only character named Mirage I can seem to find via google is that one woman from The Incredibles.

7145723 It's okay. I was referring to the Mirage from the Aladdin cartoon, who has not only demonstrated why she was named "Evil Incarnate" but also known for being nearly god-like in her power.

7145751 HOLY HELL That takes me back. Almost entirely forgot about that cartoon. Might have to google up some old videos later

7145761 Nice to meet a fellow fan, so which Aladdin episode was your favorite?

7145778 That's what I'm saying though, I practically forgot it, its been that long. I remember the movie like it was yesterday but that was because I watched it pretty religiously. I remember loving the show as a kid, but the details just escape me now. I think it stopped airing on my tv after awhile (didn't have cable). Seeing old youtube clips of of the show was one hell of a nostalgia bomb though.

I do seem to recall something about someone hunting Genie to put him back in cuffs, but I forget if that's in the show or not.

7145812 I somewhat remember that episode.

Scary crazy twilight is so much fun, you need an omake or spin off with her and Ledger's Joker
also Vigriff, Billy, I liked the episode of the Hercules cartoon where Aladdin got brought in to fight against Herc if only because we got to see Jafar again

I eant join th.is Quest of knowledge, no matter how Forbidden it is.

7146138 That's my second favorite, my favorite is the episode where one of Abis Mal's schemes went horribly right.

So what exactly is Twilight's goal here, what end goal does she want all this disharmonious power for? I can understand that she would feel powerless and upset without a way to perform magic, but does Twilight plan on conquering Equestria, enslaving everypony including her family?

You've got my attention and I'll definitely be following to see where Twilight plans on going .

7148309 Her goal is the same as its always been; To contribute to the research and discovery of magic like her Idol Starswirl before her. However since she has forsaken Harmonious magic, she has come to the conclusion that if she wants to make an impact in the world like he did, she would have to carve out her journey in infamy rather than fame, in disharmony rather than harmony, to bring terror where he had brought hope. Hers is the pursuit of knowledge in its most dangerous form.

Her human counterpart went through something similar when the elements of harmony corrupted her mind.

Now i do not know the entirety of the Sombra timeline. What are the differences so i might understand better?

7149237 Well this fic is going to go through that so you'll see. The most important thing you need to know right now is that because the Rainboom didn't happen, Twilight never passed her entrance exam which now results in the path you see before you. Everything else will come into play later.

7149260 Aight i can deal with that. Fav, liked and tracked. Keeping an eye out for more

Really good story very creative imagination

This is amasing! I'm really curious to see what happends next!

7145778 "The Lost Ones" I like Amal, and characters like him.

That last line... Now that sparked the evilness! Great way to grab the attention of the reader!

When do you think we might get an update?

7221824 Working out the next chapter as we speak. I want to make sure its good.

oh I pry for more chapters, but I do wonder who will rise up to stop twilight, also I wonder which side will discord join.

7222797 Any progress?

Well...........................I'm sold for this...

ok I'm sold.

i'm sold on this

You bought me. And my home. And my family. CONTINUE PLEASE

Just finished third reading of this. Still in ecstasy. Although, I managed some coherent thoughts in the process of reading this time. Yay, progress.

Okay. So. Twilight seems pretty right so far, and you adding a "suppress emotions" function to Alicorn Amulet is not only convenient, it's a nice fallback plan in case something goes horribly right wrong with her character. Nice move

The treasury part is, well, icky, so to say. I mean, we can assume that it's not shielded against dark magic, or that the shield's power is not enough to prevent a user of Alicorn Amulet from teleporting inside, but that's already stretching it, at least for me. I mean, a treasury where Celestia keeps an item like dragon egg, and it's not shielded well enough? Really? And reaction from guards also seems, ugh, slow. Yay for the edgydark!Spike tho

Time stopping. I would've assumed she used some other trick, because that's a bit over the edge, but you clearly indicated she did exactly that, stopped time. Meh.

Catrina managed to live thousands of years in one region? How big must it have been for a proper rotation of places to live in, so that she can move from one to another, without spending too much time in one place to create suspicion/something that might give her out even centuries after??

Ata girl, that's the Twilight I know and love(regarding how she's talking about Alicorn Amulet).

The shadow that began looming over her was signal enough that Catrina was making her first play on the battlefield. Twilight rounded about to see what was happening

That isn't logically correct. How could the shadow of Catrina be looming over her, if she's to round a corner to see Catrina? Catrina's shadow physically can't be looming over her in particular. Over the building she's behind? Sure. Over the next as well? yea, of course. Over her? Nope.

Catrina is pure awesome. That's about all I can say about her, since, you know, I'm not familiar with G1.

Okay, so, all in all, Twilight seems to be pretty canon-y, and all else we can write down as Amulets influence, which is good. There are some small logical mistake that can be easily corrected, but that's about it. Chapters can use little polishing, that's sure(I sent you some miscellaneous hunted down corrections via pm). I really hope this lives on, the start is just pure gold, and idea is ideal() all around

You have my attention.

pp.vk.me/c637617/v637617814/8628/XiVMQ33e3cg.jpg
Close enough.

More please.

Buildings were utterly shattered in a wave of the sheer kinetic force issuing issued from her lungs.

Most of the errors I've found so far are sentence structure and incorrect/awkward wording. I love the concept for this story, except I have a hard time finding Twilight relatable at all. Was she always this much of a sociopath and Celestia's teachings simply buried that part of her nature? How much of it is her and how much is the amulet influencing her? I haven't finished the story yet, but she's seemed very one-note so far. How old is she supposed to be again?

a deal a deal

A deal is a deal

Also I thought that the end of this chapter could use a little more to make it really good. Maybe, instead of having Catrina accept Twilights' ability after one spell, make her feel irritated. Then when she attacks again to kill Twilight, have the magical agreement stop her. After which Catrina accepts Twilights' skill. Just an idea.

Hot damn that was a great duel.