In the Sombra timeline, Twilight Sparkle has failed her entrance test trying to open up Spikes dragon egg. distraught that her dreams were dashed and that harmonious magic had failed her, she concludes that disharmonious magic might be to her liking
Hey did anyone notice something similar between the cover and i, because I sure do. But I could be mistaken don't BLUE Don't mind my bad puns there just puns
She smiled under the red glow of her horn, loving the feeling of power brimming through her veins. It was intoxicating, exhilarating, everything she had ever wanted. Her time was coming soon she could just feel
she said as she stooped down and looked at the stone head of the dead stallion in his vacant eyes. She had snuffed his life out with the merest glance thanks to this amulet. Imagine what she would be capable of doing after she grabbed everything on her list. Now she had one final test to see if she was truly ready.
Both of these paragraphs are missing pieces. One at the end and the other at the beginning. Might want to fix that.
I kind of hope she does something interesting then be an empress who controls is evil cause "dark" magic boring really. like can there be struggle with personality? or at least a real struggle? I feel like it fall flat if she to op to soon without hard work or character development a good build up for this story
7133820 I can see where you'd have concern. Its not going to be an easy road to the top for her that is certain, and there are plenty of threats on the horizon both internally and externally that she is going to have to deal with.
8024265 That could be worded better. I'll edit that. In fact combing through the earlier chapters and doing a bit of editing work might not be a bad idea. Thanks for bringing that to my attention.
*It's good to know both sides of what honesty. loyalty, laughter, kindness and generous do and how they can hurt you. but it's also good to know all of good affects as well. Focusing on the bad effects is not a good thing at all. You have to focus and understand BOTH sides of a problem then choose for yourself. Of course Twilight's only a filly right now and is depressed, which is making her focus on the bad side. Which is leading her down a dark/bad path. *I don't think what i just said makes any sense to anyone but myself. Or if I even know what i just said.
And she only wants power, which is step one to becoming a villain! Now all you need to do is get that power and step two will be complete!
Or she wants to use her magic more freely. One of those two!
Don't do it!
That's the point of disharmonious magic! It's suppose to be easy to access and alluring. Not many ponies use it because it turns you evil. Why do you think Sombra has been banished for 1000 years. Whelp she's screwed.
Well that's one way to kill someone.
So she poisons a shop keeper and steals the alicorn amulet. Yup your a bad guy now. So -----> Welcome to the DARK SIDE! We have COOKIES!
It's always the quiet one. always....
Great she wants even more ancient evils. Equestria's screwed in about ten or so years.
A wonderful first chapter, I liked it a lot. I love the details of how Harmonious and Disharmonious magics work and how Twilight goes down the dark path not because she's just EEEVIIIIL but simply because she's physically restrained from using "the Light side" due to her being smart to the point of questioning the logic behind the Elements of Harmony. Splendid work! Keep it up!
I'm loving this story already keep up the v
Good work
Obviously, Twilight will be badass in this story. But, just how badass will she be?
Loving it so far. Look forward to more chapters
Huh, "Midnight Sparkle". I like it. Would Midnight Twilight have been acceptable too? I like it just because it rhymes.
this is awesome. Heres hoping this becomes even more awesome as time progresses
well I'm terrified of twilight, lets see where this goes, because knowing her that little amulet wont control her for too long
Well if you continue to write I'll continue to read as I could like to know where this story heads in the future.
Hey did anyone notice something similar between the cover and i, because I sure do. But I could be mistaken
don't BLUE
Don't mind my bad puns there just puns
Oh my... That description...
YOU HAVE MY ATTENTION!!
well well well so far we are pleased with the work of yours annd now lets see if it continues to please us
Wow! I'm so curious now!
Both of these paragraphs are missing pieces. One at the end and the other at the beginning. Might want to fix that.
Good prologue.
7130659 Thanks for spotting that, I'll fix it!
I'll watch this for the moment.
I kind of hope she does something interesting then be an empress who controls is evil cause "dark" magic boring really. like can there be struggle with personality? or at least a real struggle? I feel like it fall flat if she to op to soon without hard work or character development a good build up for this story
Uge... even evil and I still can't get rid of spice
7133820 I can see where you'd have concern. Its not going to be an easy road to the top for her that is certain, and there are plenty of threats on the horizon both internally and externally that she is going to have to deal with.
Oh this beginning is simply glorious!
I always belive that if twilight ever went dark or evil the ever world would be buck,
This was delicious.
But.
Would, fucking, HAVE. Not "would of". Where did you get this idea from, anyway?
7135023
is that intentional? Because it's either clever or really sloppy, and I can't decide which.
8024265 That could be worded better. I'll edit that. In fact combing through the earlier chapters and doing a bit of editing work might not be a bad idea. Thanks for bringing that to my attention.
which
OH, MY EQUESTRIAN GODS
Twilight what have you done
CAUSE I BUCKING LOVE IT
whelp their boned
*It's good to know both sides of what honesty. loyalty, laughter, kindness and generous do and how they can hurt you. but it's also good to know all of good affects as well. Focusing on the bad effects is not a good thing at all. You have to focus and understand BOTH sides of a problem then choose for yourself. Of course Twilight's only a filly right now and is depressed, which is making her focus on the bad side. Which is leading her down a dark/bad path.
*I don't think what i just said makes any sense to anyone but myself. Or if I even know what i just said.
And she only wants power, which is step one to becoming a villain! Now all you need to do is get that power and step two will be complete!
Or she wants to use her magic more freely. One of those two!
Don't do it!
That's the point of disharmonious magic! It's suppose to be easy to access and alluring. Not many ponies use it because it turns you evil. Why do you think Sombra has been banished for 1000 years. Whelp she's screwed.
Well that's one way to kill someone.
So she poisons a shop keeper and steals the alicorn amulet. Yup your a bad guy now. So -----> Welcome to the DARK SIDE! We have COOKIES!
It's always the quiet one. always....
Great she wants even more ancient evils. Equestria's screwed in about ten or so years.
Sombra and Twilight best evil couple EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alright I'm interested now let's see where this goes.
A wonderful first chapter, I liked it a lot. I love the details of how Harmonious and Disharmonious magics work and how Twilight goes down the dark path not because she's just EEEVIIIIL but simply because she's physically restrained from using "the Light side" due to her being smart to the point of questioning the logic behind the Elements of Harmony. Splendid work! Keep it up!