i like this

Damn, Twilight went from a lost confused filly to a dark, EVIL, mastermind in only a month?! And it took her how many years after becoming Celestia's protege in the show to become an element of Harmony? Evil Twilight is most driven Twilight. I am THOROUGHLY impressed.

Harmony is a lot more horrifying than I originally thought. I wonder if I can look at the show again and not keep this in mind. It would also explain why the Griffins are so hostile to the ponies, being treated like second-class citizens will breed a lot of resentment(and by extension, disharmony) and the fact that Celestia has done nothing about it tells me that she's not as nearly as benevolent as we were lead to believe. The next question I have is where does Nightmare Moon fit into the picture? I mean, I can understand why Discord does what he does in this setting (he's merely trying to protect the balance in his own chaotic way) but is NMM merely a byproduct of this system or what? I really hope that Twilight succeeds in destroying Harmony because I'm not liking the train of thought I'm going through and I'm actually starting to agree with Starlight Glimmer on the topic of cutie marks.

Power to the Twilight, for she is our only hope

Then Twilight began to pick up on the word Zebra, and the name Zeb, and It made me raise my head quizzically.

I think there's a point-of-view mix-up in this sentence.

Featured the day I started dating my first girlfriend... but now we're broken up.

8104311
One of the first thoughts I had when I watched the show and they started talking about cutie marks in more detail was that it was horrifying. A life where you have no control over your destiny is no life worth living.

8104330 thanks for the catch!

This was a great chapter.

What is it that you mean by the story taking place in the Sombra Timeline? Is that the one from the comics where Somra is good and the Royal Sisters are evil, or is it a fandom universe?

We need a chapter of evil Twilight acting like an evil loving mom to an evil spike

8104388 Sombra timeline in respect to the season 5 finale; in which Starlight Glimmer started a chain of alternate universes. This particular universe is the one where the Crystal Wars eventually takes place, aka, the Sombra Timeline. I can see where the confusion might have come up, but basically its a universe where the elements of harmony never triggered because of Starlight's meddling with time. All the events that unfold beyond this point are because of that. Think Butterfly Effect.

8104311 Trust me, this particular rabbit hole goes muuuuch deeper.

8104335 Its something that is simply not questioned in the show either. Its seen as a good thing because it is a good thing, and it is reinforced by their society that it is a good thing. As an athiest I am not very fond of circular logic like this.

8104307 She's going to need every ounce of that drive for whats ahead.

8104335 Oh it gets MUCH worse when you start thinking also of, the different types of mind control spells, order, balance, The Conversion Bureau being the preferred alternative.
Hitler and Stalin would approve

This is a great story.

8104335 Here's the thing, though. The cutiemarks in the show doesn't control them; it simply represents who they are and what they are best at. It also gives you the magic to do what you are good at (like how Fluttershy can talk to animals, which is confirmed in the show to be because of her mark). It honestly seems to me that cutiemarks are made to fit their bearers, not the other way around.

8104677 Control isn't quite the right word. Heavily Influential in the decision making process, but not straight up control. They do have a substantial amount of influence though, far more than you are giving them credit for. Without delving too far into spoiler territory, remember the phrase: "Its what my cutie mark is telling me." and the question: "What happened to Rarity just before she got her cutie mark, and why did that happen?"

Another great chapter, keep up the good work

Man, I feel super sad hearing how twilight feel out of sync with the world.
And poor old Zeb

Hearing these two really makes one sympathetic to disharmony.

It'd be quite a thing for princess twilight to meet doom n gloom twilight. Yowza!

We wonder if there will be any mention of 'Crunch' who could be regarded as the biggest and strongest Dog gen 1 villain, from appearances he was a mountainous rock dog in size. Though in a way wouldn't Diamond Dogs seem the most 'successful' in causing Disharmony in Equestria over a long period of time? What with their raiding/ponynapping behavior to make them into forced labor.

8104797 Honestly, the whole cutiemark switching episode happened because of an unfinished spell that affected the elements. There's no telling how much of what we saw was simply an effect of the spell, rather than the effect of their cutiemarks.
I think a better situation to bring up is when [Starlight removed the cutiemarks of the mane 6. In that episode, we saw that maintained their personalities, but lost all of their energy and abilities.
Honestly, I think your potrayal of cutiemarks fit your story, but not the canon.

8105774 I have answers to those rebuttals (as I've had this same conversation many times before) however I really cannot delve further without spoiling the story. I'll just say there is a lot of thought put into this and it will make sense when it all comes into play.

8104311 most prominent change to luna when she became nightmare moon?
Not the teeth, wings, or coat color. The eyes and the cutie mark. Inverted cutie mark and draconic eyes.
How did luna change back to being the mistress of harmony's night? Harmony was forcefully shoved inside her with the elements.

8105785 Okay. Then I'll just wait for further updates. It's a good story, so I'm excited to see what you'll come up with.

The descriptions of the Tree of Harmony from outsiders like Zeb make me think a little bit of Persona 5's ending. For the sake of those who haven't played it, I'll leave it there.

8104424
I completely agree. It's just not questioned whether or not harmony is a good thing, and you could make an argument to the case that it's a bit of a low level mind control field via the mark. Lots of possibilities there. Also hello fellow athiest, I actually don't run into many of us on the internet

Omg this chapter is amazing! It gives awesome background to why twilight is on this journey, gives her and the reader a reason to mistrust harmony and fleshes out twilights goals and motivations.

8110619 I hope you enjoy the ride :3

8108400 I'm glad you liked it! I thought that was a good place to put it in.

8106800 if there is one thing I adore doing in fiction, its taking the ideas in the show that are both prominent and taken for granted in the background and really bring them to their logical conclusions. The Deconstruction method has been revitalizing genres for ages, and I love participating in it in one way or another.

A reasonably in shape Pegasi was known to be able to lift near one thousand pounds with just their wings, which, on a non magical creature, would be far to fragile for such a feat. Earth Ponies had members of their kind that possessed frightful levels of strength, capable of shattering boulders with a mere strike of their hoof.

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

Can't really agree with this, your kinda setting the bar really high for power levels here, you don't want to fall victim to anime power level syndrome where you have to one up your already ridiculous previously set power levels, I get that you're doing a deconstruction, but you really shouldn't take the feats accomplished in the show at face value, the stuff supporting these assertions is just slapstick, if your taking it all at face value, then you have to make the ponies basically fuckin' invincable as well giving how many slapstick injuries that should send them to the horse hospital they suffer. And no, I'm not meaning the horse hospital for dash spraining her fappin' wing, but injuries that necessitate this horse hospital:

s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/72/e5/02/72e5020f5c56a2cc915cb4006f7afd2d.jpg

Furthermore, if these horses are so OP-bullshit-hax, then why the fuck are they afraid of disharmony from the non-OP-bullshit-hax races exempting the physical false gods like Catrina, especially considering you're making the tree of harmony into a borg-like entity.

Just saying that it doesn't jive with itself man.

8116487 mlpforums.com/uploads/monthly_09_2014/post-27460-0-85816200-1410832499.gif
orig00.deviantart.net/d58b/f/2015/306/c/4/575821__safe_pinkie_pie_animated_screencap_upvotes_by_kiryu2012-d9fcdz8.gif

I am a stickler when it comes to integrating canon elements into my fics. Nearly every assertion I make has been heavily measured out and had extensive conversations/debates attached to them. Ponies ARE that OP, but that means that creatures like Catrina are that much more so.

You also have to remember that their strength is magic based and magic in mlp Gen four is based on the Emotions and Concepts, which isn't just headcanon that I've long held for years (which I have), but actual confirmed canon as of season 7. As such The effectiveness of their abilities fluctuates with how they feel or what concept they hold dear and how intensely they feel that emotion or how unwavering they are in that concept.

As for why they are afraid of non magic races when they are potentially this powerful: second verse same as the first. Their ability is entirely based on how they are feeling. Which is why this

stream1.gifsoup.com/view2/3520967/fluttershy-beats-bear-bad-o.gif

And this

Are both feats from the same pony. This also explains the seeming inconsistency in which they get injured, because it begs the question "what were they feeling like at the time of the injury?" Thus if they feel scared and intimidated or nervous, the effectiveness of their magic is reduced accordingly, even more so depending on the intensity of these crippling emotional states.

Hope that answers your questions!

8116517
That answers my questions, but not in a good way, I can't say I like your reasoning, and I fear for the direction that this story will go in, I think I explained myself pretty clearly, so if you don't understand my reasoning, then I can only pray that you decide on your own to stop taking slapstick elements as canon.

8118896 I understand your reasoning, but without spoiling things you are objecting to a corner without seeing the full picture. Everything I've put in has its purpose and a reason for being there, and I already have this fic planned out to its conclusion. If you are really worried about the direction of the fic, I'd point you to my fic Where Spike Came From, which is a related fic to this one and is a finished product.

pokes favorite story with a stick

You dead? I actually enjoyed this story

More please!

Is this story dead or not I can't wait any longer and I want to know if this story is still going

I. DEMAND.MOAAAAAAAARRR!

8287026
Stories should never have people worried its dead unless the story hasn't updated in a year. Real life is more important that stories.

8388546
I know life is more important but I was just wondering on what's going on and I posted that month ago

8388546
And I was curious because if you look at how frequently she or he posted and then at he or she latest chapter then look at how long it's been it got me thinking. I know she or he posted a blog but that was a while ago and don't you think she or he would let us know what's going on or I could be over thinking this and she or he hasn't bothered to let us know just thinking.

ETA?

8412527
I recently returned to fimfiction, so soonish. Not giving a definite time, but soon.

8412532
thats great

8451644 8451663 8451684

Thank you very much! Always appreciate it when people help make these read a bit better.

As for the Catrina thing
I wanted her to stick to her word about sticking to the agreement if Twilight proved she could use her magic. To be quite honest, if Catrina went full force on Twilight at that point she probably would have beat her rather easily. Twilight was struggling with her barely even trying, but she still managed to show her prowess to the former goddess. How I did it shows that Catrina is the kind of villain who keeps their word and to show how much more powerful Twilight can get through their power gap.

Started reading this two days ago, and I'm finally on the most recent chapter. It makes me nervous that this update was in April
Alas, I have seen too many writers get held up in writing, then go on hiatus, and then decide they are quitting the story altogether. I beg of you, please don't be on that path!

This is by far on of the best villain-Twilight fics I've come across. I am quite curious to see how it ends.

8463784
Next chapter's in progress. I was gone for a bit due to irl issues, but it is being worked on.

I started reading today
And kept reading
And reading
And it really was worth it, I dont regret these 3 hours, and I need moar

pwetty please

Also it would be funny, if Grogar just said to Twilight in the next chapter like: "Oh yeah, btw those were your parents and brother, atleast their consciousness"

This is so well thoughtout that I can’t help but root for Twilight!