- Member Since 17th Apr, 2013
- offline last seen April 14th
De Writer
After a long dry spell, De Writer has sort of returned. I am now writing again. Watch this space for more new tales and more chapters of the latest
Sequels1
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De Writer · 5.7k words · 295 views
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Interesting story. Good overall idea, and it made me think of Schlock Mercenary, which is always good. Namely, one finding out the armor/uniform the mercs use has a flight system, he asks why they don't use it more often. The response?
"Do you know what we call flying troops on the battlefield?"
"Close air support?"
"No. Skeet."
Though having Equestria's world be advanced enough for this kind of weaponry felt odd. Also, Iron was a bit.. over talky on the battlefield. Overly explaining, being a bit to verbose. Like at the end of the rescue, when he mapped out exactly what him and the group he rescued were to do, the sneaking around, laying out all the steps, when any real military guy there, talking to another trained soldier, would just say "We'll launch a feint from this side, you circle around and flank him from this side." more or less. in battle you want to get information conveys as quickly as possible.
Still fun. The sudden erotic turn was odd, but fun..... till I found out who that was... must.. find.. brain... bleech.... Still, interesting story overall, and fits your version of Equestria well.