"Clever girl." he muttered, before looking to his left, and finding the blunt end of a spear pointing at his face.

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References, references everywhere!

Yay it updated. I am always happy when this story has an update.

8707768
Indeed. I especially liked the ones you used for Rarity's fantasies.

She was noblemare at the mercy of a handsome pirate, as they sailed away on the high seas.

She was a Princess, swept off her hooves by a rogue street rat who would become her Prince.

She was a lowly maid commoner, fallen in love with an outlaw embroiled in a battle of wits against a sheriff.

Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas, Aladdin and Robin Hood are great movies.

Also, insert obligatory "that escalated quickly" meme here.

Very nice

Rarity is crazy! A splinter down there is a bad time that you never want to experience.

Thanks for the chapter

featured

hah! that was great. poor rarity thou one day

I wonder if the next story after this one ends is rarity trying to act civil again keeps acting like a barbarian and then trying to get this back to normal life again

Not fond of him killing the elk thing. He's the one thats the animal if he cant appreciate the wonders of nature and only sees a victim. Its not like they were starving. His act of praying and stuff came off as a fake to attempt to hide his thoughtlessness. I mean, for all he knew, that thing was sentient. It was interacting with another hoofed thing that certainly was. Bleh.

Well I certainly wasn't expecting that! Although that makes sense for something like that to happen.

8708154
Yeah Atchmon just saw dinner and a prize. Though, I can see why he wouldn't feel bad for doing the thing he's been doing for years. Even in his life before Equestria, hunting was a normal hobby growing up.

This is where I regret splitting chapters, because he's basically going to realize just that.

It's only a guess but I think death I figured out how they gonna leave the forest.

I'm so glad I found this story. This chapter was funny as hell! XD

I think you said there was a chance for it to happen, but I hope we get a sequel with them in ponyville adjusting to that live again and introducing the main six to a different Rarity. Maybe having one or two of them getting devasted about her friends changes or even angry, then they learn their lession. I wouldn't want Rarity to go back to "I wasn't even there" and keept some personality traits even when she got used to ponyville again.

Atchmon took breath, and worked to control his emotions. He didn't want her to know how much it bothered him. Their time together had made him soft, and reckless. Then a grin spread across his face.

This is just me not wanting the human to look to bad, but I really hope she isn't suddenly outmatching him.

"It's amazing... In just a few short days it'll be a month since Twilight's spell stranded me here." Rarity spoke softly to herself as she cantered around, while gathering any random foodstuffs her eyes deemed worthy of consumption.

and I believed it would need more time for her to get him. I really hope this isn't only based on the Mares protect colt stuff they had going on at one point. I like to see them as equal (who learns more is just better) and I'm always abit more for the main char.

Ever since he kissed her, Atchmon had been getting increasingly more physical with her.

In which chapter was that kiss?, i forgot about it and was it a real one? I would like it if they get together before returning to ponyville and having some strange protection sene for each other.
I admit I want some kind of "we lived our whole live in a jungle" thing going on for a while.

The idea of mating sparked a growing fire in her loins. She'd done well to suppress her urges thus far, but now the thoughts were there again, and she didn't feel like ignoring them this time.

If I remember it right you said they have the heat moments here right?, but at least they are able to control it better here correct?, I mean in a way that prevents them to just let everyone to fast to have a piece of their ass no matter how close they are to each other already.

I wouldn't mind her following her urges now since she seems to star loving him and this is a slightly unique situation.

Rarity may think herself a lady of class, but that didn't mean she was a complete prude.

I meant what I said, but just saying that I hope with being prude or not being prude, she didn't meant sleeping around for the fun of it.

R

arity pushed her disheveled mane to the side, and flopped backwards on Atchmon's bed while covering her face.

She laid on the bed feeling completely mortified, and even more frustrated than before.

Ahhhhh okay, it was just important to me that she wasn't "that kind" of character in this story and I like what I saw. It is just sad sometimes if a story you like has something that either makes it less exciting suddenly or is destroying it with just one chapter, I'm glad that didn't happened.

Well I guess something is going to happen next chapter, either them acting up on the moment and sleeping with each other after a heartfelt talk or they just get together. This just feels like it could be a moment where they take the next step, I actually imaged something similar like that to happen just with her friends walking in on them. I like that kind of comedy a bit.

8708723
this is indeed really promising, but exactly that makes me fear that it maybe dies out. Everything that looked nearly perfect for me so far had at one point either a big "no go" in one of the chapters or just died and never got another chapter.

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Well that and he can't really know what maybe would be a sacred creature to them, that and everything was dangerous so far so even if someone would like something else to happen, this was the most logical thing to happen I guess.

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There will be a sequel, and will follow Atchmon more closely while Rarity will be mostly away trying to save her shops.

This is just me not wanting the human to look to bad, but I really hope she isn't suddenly outmatching him

Just showing how much time had passed, and how much experience Rarity had gained. Enough to finally out wit Atchmon.

In which chapter was that kiss?

It was near the end of Bad Company chapter, he kissed her on the nose, but he still struggles with seeing her as more than a pet. To him he's just showing his affection, but it's the kind one only shows to a pet.

If I remember it right you said they have the heat moments here right?, but at least they are able to control it better here correct?,

No, she won't go into heat in this story. Though I've planned it for the sequel. And yes, they can control their urges when that time comes, enough they don't subject some poor stallion to death by snu-snu.

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Other than the subject of 'heat' what are your other fears? And what died out? Just asking because there's some little details I might have forgotten or didn't think to plan for.

8709909

There will be a sequel, and will follow Atchmon more closely while Rarity will be mostly away trying to save her shops

That sounds a bit werid, I mean I really hope that Rarity isn't only showing up in 1/3 of the story, right now it looks like you would expect her to be there.

Just showing how much time had passed, and how much experience Rarity had gained. Enough to finally out wit Atchmon.

so I suppose this is like when a teacher is still thinking their pupil is as dumb as always and the pupil finally manage to pull of a move the teacher thought would be impossible for him.
Long story short he underestimated her and it was just one win ?
I admit that I want him to still be a bit more skilled in that stuff since he probably only has that and Rarity still her magic. Like I said I just don't want it to look like she would babysit him later when she is a better hunter than him and better in most other stuff.
I want to feel like he could still save her from situations she could not manage alone.

No, she won't go into heat in this story. Though I've planned it for the sequel. And yes, they can control their urges when that time comes, enough they don't subject some poor stallion to death by snu-snu.

okay good, I just hate to think they have the normal social structure like we have and it would be like a chef was hitting on one of his underlings and she didn'T wanted it, then she get's into heat and he just has to be fast enough to get into bed with her. In some stories it looks like that if you understood my sentence there, I don't think to highly of my grammar.

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I don't think I have many fears or problem with this fanfiction, I would just really like to see them as equals and maybe mentioning it somewhere in the story, like they admit each other strenghts in the chapter or something like that. Most authors don't do that and it looks this or that way and after I mention it they just try to justifie it with "it happens offscreen" or something like that. I'm maybe reacting a bit to fast after her one lucky shot, but I would like him to be as good in fights as she is, I mean if I understood it right he had a past as a Hunter right? Just give him a skill for that everyone is impressed with him and takes him seriously then I'm probably going to be happy.

I think what "dies out" as I said it, are stories that I really like usually and which are nearly as good or nearly perfect in my eye, with some ideas that I really really like, but the author get's bored or something and that means no new chapter ever. The other thing is they write 40 perfect chapters and write one chapter that is soooooo strange, that it completely destroys the story or the authors mood.

Well mostly the thing that no new chapters in stories that I usually get to like really much, was what I mentioned there.

8710337
I was hoping it'd be closer to 'anything different is bad', like back in season 1 when Rarity was afraid of Zecora, and judgmental based on her striped mane. While there will be times gender will play a small role, but that's only because society expects them to behave in a certain way.

Overall I think she's learned her lesson after that episode. When Gilda came to town she was intrigued rather than afraid. (tho, that episode happened before Zecora, blame the show writers for that)

8710337
Not the Author,

But are you taking into consideration that because of the ratio between mares and stallions, Equestria is a mare run society. The ratio depending on who you ask is anywhere from 4 or 6 to 1. In most head cannons, stallions are treated the way women in the real world are. Some going as far as back to the 1950's. Ive seen the phrase quite commonly that "Stallions should be in the fields or the bedroom." While I don't agree with it, it does make for some interesting stories. The mares take care of and protect the stallions, as well as sharing stallions amongst each other. in herds.

So I don't think Rarity behavior is really that noteworthy or odd for the world.

The Monk

BTW Some great examples of this are

Herding Instincts by Sparky Brony
And
Xenophilia by AnonponyDASHIE

such a sweet chapter i love how tender and slow the love is starting to grow.

"Hey Rare I'm ba-, WHOA!" Atchmon said as he entered the den, just before she could hit her peak.

I fuckin’ knew it XD

8710944
Xenophilia is one of my favorites! The pre/sequels by other authors aren't bad either.
The MC can be a bit on the lovey dovey side, something I wanted to set Atchmon apart from. There's things set in stone that I wanted to break Rarity out of that are derived from that work. I'm hoping everyone will view it as a fun and unexpected twist.
Still waiting on the final chapters in Further Tales. I can't wait!

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I'm glad you're enjoying it. That's all I hope for!

8708154
Two things:
1) In survival, you have take every chance to get more food you can get; whether you need food immediately or not. You never know when a famine will hit, and you won't live to see the end of it if you don't have plenty of food storage.

2) I believe they're planning a month-long trek through dangerous, unknown forest. If that's the case, getting extra food is an even bigger priority than normal.

"Psh." Atchmon scoffed, looking away with a devilish grin. "Please, you can tease your dragon friend like that, but your 'mind tricks' don't work on me." he countered, while waving his hand around like the space monks of old.

images7.memedroid.com/images/UPLOADED162/56942122e34dc.jpeg

9105880
Let me know how you like everything so far! I'm trying to read through my whole story just so I can keep the 'flow' of it going, but I get too distracted by my past mistakes. Or lack of enough details.

The white ears of his prey were peaking out above the fallen bough, a stark contrast to the dark browns of its bark and the yellowed-greens of the forest surrounding her.

The human had cleverly lead her to a shallow scar of earth, trapping her in a narrow passageway.

Rarity shrank back as the Elken let out a pained cry and ran away with a short, dark shaft with black fletching sticking in its barrell.

"Thank you Great Spirit for this bounty you've blessed us with.

Got a whole section of " on only one side and not on the other starting there.

If some predator killed her, she doubted feeling insulted that it never ate her.

"I need you to go get the rope the food we've gathered today, and bring it all back here." Atchmon said, as he got up and started inspecting some of the nearby tree branches.

It'd been years since she felt so bad that she all she wanted to do was lay in bed all day.

Perhaps unfortunately that didn't kill the mood for her.

Weird wording

"So you got any boyfriends waiting for you back home, 'Marshmellow'?" Atchmon teased.

"Well, I think if you've been elected to represent your people, to get them what they need. Then you, as the leader, should be telling those Nobles what to do. And if they don't, then you make 'em." Atchmon stated.

Punctuation of this whole bit makes things read a bit blocky and odd.

"Mmm." Rarity nodded in understanding. "You really don't like wealthy, people , do you Atchmon? I seem to recall you speak with a lot of disdain whenever the subject comes up about them." Rarity stated cautiously.

If it's a pause you're going for here, ellipses would probably work better, cause commas like that mean you could take out the word and the sentence would still work out. :P

She was a Princess, swept off her hooves by a rogue street-rat who would become her Prince.

Alladin?

She found the human staring off in the distance, towards the oncoming storm, with mouth slightly agape, and squinting eyes, as if he were trying to get a better look at something.

Oh, hello there bluefast

You know, I've noticed a couple of times where you go back and forth between calling the stallions strong and in charge, but then go to great pains to establish that they're actually weaker and subject to mares' whims. So which is it? Are you committing to the reversed gender roles or not?

Even if you are, I don't care anymore. The problem with you RGRE types is that you try to have it both ways. In addition, your politics are showing. I have things I would rather do than read more of your political pulpit fantasizing.

10221475
I don't recall doing that, you'll need to give me a few examples so I can clarify.

But if I had to guess, I'm trying to do a kind of "same but different" situation. When Rarity says things like "he's not like other stallions", she is implying that Atchmon is not out to get under her tail. However, other stallions are like women from our world where they use mares to get free meal dates, BUT since they're stallions they're also out to get laid. It's much worse for the mares, because all they get is used and tossed aside.

When it comes to Administrative work, stallions would be like the token career focused eye candy of the office.

My RGRE is more of a Mindset rather than an outward "mares put stallions in their place".

Equestria is/has a history much like our own. and in that history stallions at one point were treated as badly as we treated women in the dark ages. Imagine a time when stallions were purposefully kept from being educated and traded between mares as a commodity.

Then a few centuries pass and you get Mares who have a superiority complex that view all stallions as weak minded breeding stock.

10221515
I have to agree with Axel to a point, it does feel as if the RGRE element isn't there in the social interaction.
Women can have healthy libidos, but this generally only happens when they lack even the opportunity for sex.
It's rare, but it happens. (Usually just with ugly or obese women though.)

In a world where the roles are reversed and the skew in gender ratio heavily favors females, the females would almost certainly have a much more consistent gutter-mindedness about them than we see in this story.
The males would have their pick, but once they've chosen a source of sexual release that's both up to their standards (which would be incredibly high, thanks to the rock-bottom scarcity of potential mates per male) and within their social reach, they wouldn't really need more.
Of the un-herded populace (excluding the elderly and children) about the top 10% of the most attractive/wealthy female population would be getting laid regularly. The other 90% would be lucky to get laid except once in a great while (if at all).
And then, throw in a lack of internet, so searching for casual sex would be drastically less practical than it is nowadays.

The end result would be a TON of mares generally ranging between the ages of 14-55 with the minds of horny teens.
The older they'd get, the more likely they'd be to find a herd (both thanks to lowering standards and the amount of time they'd have spent looking), so most would be under 30, with the vast majority being 45 or younger.

All this to say:

They'd be exponentially more desperate than your average human male of the same age range.
But this story really doesn't reflect anywhere close to that.
It seems more like: "Identical to normal gender roles, except the females are expected to make the first move".
That said: I truly do enjoy this story!

"I don't understand how your ' democracy ' can change your leaders every few years. How does anything get done when no- body is in charge for very long." Rarity said, feeling giddy talking about her favorite subject. Politics.

You don't.

My main issue with pony anatomy is that the protagonist is essentially fucking a horse. A sentient one, sure, but it’s off putting as fuck to me

11271725
so many downvotes lmao

You have my support. If I was in that actual situation I'd be hard-pressed to get over the whole her being a horse thing too. She may be a person but she does look like an animal, I'd say it's natural to at least be apprehensive.

11472546
I dont like dangly meat curtains. Gimme smooth pony puss any day. I do try to drop the fact she has anthro features. Like "womanly hips" or her shoulders are kinda squared like a human. A lot like the artist Alcor does their drawings.

But if they can just make out Canterlot from the top of their lair, then why didn't Rarity send up some flares to get somepony's attention?
Or at least try to do some laser tag on the guards patrolling the ramparts?