The first chapter not focused around our two main characters, and it still managed to keep me as interested as the other chapters!

Seeing what's going on with the some of the Elements and company really brings to light just how impactful Rarity's unwelcome absence can be. Twilight's taking it as well as I thought she would be, which is to say not well at all. Her lashing out at Starlight seems par for the course for someone in her mindset. Hopefully she doesn't let it completely overwhelm her, as was hinted at in a sentence or two.

Rainbow is doing what Rainbow does: never giving up especially for a close friend. Hopefully she heeds the advice of the letter and becomes more responsible about resting.

Applejack's condition caught me off guard, if only a little. Although Applebloom's comments shed some light as to why Applejack would do what she's doing. I wonder if she'll find a better way to cope with the situation than continuing to dance with the demon in a bottle.

Not much was said about Pinkie and Fluttershy. I hope that light will be shed on them later on.

Starlight seems more or less in the same boat as Twilight. Definitely doesn't help that she probably feels extremely guilty over what she feels is the responsibility of the botched spell falling on her shoulders. Working herself through very late nights, as I'm sure Twilight is as well. Her back and forth with Twilight is definitely showing the continuing strain on both of their psyches.

Spike and the CMC are definitely growing up, as their dialogue and interactions with one another show. At first I was perplexed at how much Rarity's misplacement didn't *seem* to affect Spike, until I came to the conclusion that he probably feels that he needs to be the rock that everyone else can count on. His continued care and worry for his friends, especially Twilight, Starlight, and Sweetie Bell, showed it.

Also I can somewhat relate to some of Sweetie Bell's frustrations at the end. Being one of multiple siblings I can only begin to grasp at the anger and frustration at being unable to do anything for a lost brother/sister. Hopefully things patch up between her and Spike. Emotional outburst happen to the best of us, and apologising/coming to terms with your mistakes around them is a part of growing up.

Now sir, your world building entices me. With the continued growth of Ponyville, and the interesting situation with Cloudsdale, it just butters my biscuits at the thought of the rest of this story!

I mean heck, it's 1am and I need to go to sleep for work in 5 hours, but I saw that this updated recently and I just HAD to read it. Like I said earlier, we finally departed from our two MC's for a bit and learned the continuing movement of the world they reside in. A change of pace that was quite nice. Seeing how Rarity's friends/family are coping kept me just as enraptured as the other chapters.

Can't wait for more!

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So glad you liked it!
Hope you make it to work on time! Don't stay up so late!

I really couldn't think of much for Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy to do that was outside, or even in line, with their usual character traits. Pinkie has a large social network, but I couldn't figure out what to do with that, considering there's not a Twitter or Facebook (Muzzlebook?) equivalent in MLP. And Fluttershy is helping the only way she knows how, which is through her animal friends.

I was a little afraid the debate between Twilight and Starlight Glimmer went on a bit long, but I figured that's usually what happens in a heated argument most of the time anyway. Just as in the show, they're pretty much mirrors of each other. I believe the Trope is called Red Oni, Blue Oni. I wanted to show how much Twilight can lose control over her common sense whenever the pressure gets to her, and I think I did that well.

Since one of the themes of the story is Native American culture, I really wanted to put a bit of world building that included a treaty-like agreement between the three pony tribes. I couldn't use any famous ones that could also really fit in real well with this chapter, but I hoped it worked out all the same. Since the vast majority of treaties are about trade, relocation and citizenship.

Applejack was a hard one to justify. But there was something just so right about it. I read that alcoholism can be as much affected by genetics as any other addictive substance, so that bit of information helped me go through with it.

Yes, I love a aged up CMC and Spike, I wish the show would do the same soon. I wanted Spike to crack a few more jokes, but I really couldn't think of any. Even after reading through this a dozen times over, nothing ever popped up. I hoped that Spike being 'The Rock that everyone leans one reflected well with the rest of his personality and actions. Of course I feel like he could've said more.

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Spike just rolls with the punches. that's what I admire about the little guy. Thank for spotting the edit, it's fixed!

Two minor things on spelling.

Horde vs hoard
Sugar dates vs sugar dades

Granted, English isn't my native language, but I think those changes were what you meant.

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Thanks! Changed to horde to hoard. Too many years playing WoW.

Google keeps showing me Sugar dates, as correct for the fruit I was thinking about.

I realize there's probably a good reason, but why would Rarity and Atch not just try to make a big damn fire, with lots of smoke. Sure, getting enough wood from the Everfree might be dangerous, but there's nothing like a big honking plume of smoke to let people know that something is going on.

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I know I didn't really describe the size of his fire pit, but he does have a fire going almost constantly. Plus the Everfree forest is far more vast than what the show depicts. As well as the rest of the world as a whole.

I do already have something planned in a later chapter to kind of point out why a big fire in the middle of a dry season would be a bad idea.

Plus it's not the fire that signals people. It's the smoke. Moist, not necessarily rotten, wood can produce far more smoke than any dry wood placed in a fire. (I've thrown many bon fires, you'd be amazed how little smoke you can make if you want it that way)

So in a survival situation. Wasting that much energy cutting wood for a big fire, that no one might not see, wouldn't be a great idea.

I understand I never talked directly about what they need to do. But that's because my story is more focused on character interaction.

I am Glad that your story iis more character based
No one needs a how to survive pony edition..... Although seems like you realy known about that
Tank you for the chapter

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Yeah, I love good dialog and character interaction. I figured lacing a bit of survival along with it would be enough. Mainly by indirectly telling about it through Rarity's perspective. Plus I like figuring out what her reaction if any would be.

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Oh, I gathered that any fire he used day-today would be far too small to produce any meaningful amount of smoke. I was thinking more along the lines of a bonfire on a day where the wind wasn't blowing too badly. But never mind, as you have a narrative reason to back it up. My only criticism there is that when you focus so much on the interactions, it begins to feel like they aren't actually trying to be found. Like, all the interactions are good so far, but the fact that it's taken them both this long to arrive at the place they have in retrospect makes me feel like they've only focussed on the end goal without thinking too hard on how they actually get there.

I mean, I think so at least. Others probably disagree. I like the story and everything, but that part just worries at me.

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True, they haven't thought much about the end goal, because Atchmon has already tried the end goal. It was just one line of dialog which was supposed to be a parody of Jurassic Park 3. Where the kid doesn't go near the beach because the dinosaurs get bigger the close you get.

I used that to further justify them just staying there.

There is another reason for them not trying. I can't get into it without it being too spoilery. But maybe you can figure it out by looking at Atchmon's actions, reactions, and in how he treats Rarity.

I assure you they will take initiative in about 3 chapters. And I have a few new mythological creatures to add to the world. That in and of itself was a big reason for writing this story.

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Fair 'nuff. Patience Mode: ACTIVATE!

"Mention of Thorax and traitors fills you with HATRED and ANNOYANCE!"

Keh. I mean the chapter isn't bad, it has some good points, I just doesn't really see the necessity for latest canon inclusions/references when they do not feel like contributing much if anything. *shrugs* waiting for more, as usual.

this is a super good chapter and it gives a really good look at how everpony is handling missing Rarity.

Great chapter, nice seeing things from the rest of the cast's side.

rather... 'drastic' change in the cmc...

I liked the idea with Spike and Sweetie.

I only hate it if the characters act like they would "have" to ignore the feelimga they may have for some characters and believe they have to just rut everyone when they are in season and everything they need to do is thinking he looks cute.

Maybe i missunderstood Scootaloo a bit and she was just having their fun with them, but I really hope this universe isn't just "every Mare searching for some fun with any stallion that is aviable, sometimes I would like it if feelings would be still important.

Like i said I hope they don't get into that brainless mode. They should have to means ti statisfie themself. I like it if it doesn't look like christmas for Stallions.

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Yeah Scootaloo was having fun at Sweetie Belle's expense. I consider Scoots to be the 'wild one' of the trio. Given her affinity for extreme sports.

And since I've mentioned tattoos (hide dying) as a real thing, Scoots would be the most likely to be into it.

I like to see them pursue their own individual talents. And I like to view some aspects of MLP to be closer to our world. Such as a teenager getting their first job in fast food. Or in Scoots case, a delivery pony.

This is a taste of what I think she'll be like in this world, if she never achieves flight.

8429645
Hat's okay theb, I just nearly thought again Things would go into a certain direction. I wouldn't mind it, but i hate it if it zsually Turns out like the characters having no Control over it.

Now the other Stuff You were talking about. Sounds Good so far, I liked Shoots, having a Job ans Stuff like that.

WHAT Was Spike yelling about, I have rushed that Part

yay another chapter out.

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I did kind of rush that part. He wanted Sweetie Belle to perform at the talent show. Whether or not he wanted to for selfish reasons, I felt wouldn't matter in the end. Maybe I could shed some light on it in the future.

I've been in many situations where my good intentions where interpreted as selfish.

Sweetie just assumed the worst, since she obviously has a crush on Spike.

It was a difficult scene to write since there were so many directions to go.

"Plus, she doesn't have a way to efficiently feed without her drone army, and wasn't her whole hive converted when Thoraxe metamorphosed?" Starlight questioned.

"A faint lime-green aura surrounded the straps, and a second combed through her main. As if she were touching up her looks.

Thoraxe is meant to be thorax. Main is meant to be mane. Please change, this physically hurt to read. Otherwise, this is good.

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Changed yesterday, may want to refresh your page, there are a few other minor changes too.

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Oh ok, I had just loaded the page when I posted though. I also made a couple edits to my original post.

8431283
No problem. I appreciate you pointing out the mistakes. Let me know what you think so far!

You know, why can't they light a large fire?

They could light a large fire a bit away from their home and make a large trail (or a sign that animals can't understand) back to their cave?

Or is that too easy?

8427927
Just wanted to combat any reasons I've thought of to keep them from being saved. An army of pegasi searching everywhere would speed things up. Plus there's a bit of truth behind denying a prolonged search and rescue. IRL it's a very beauracratic process, not to mention expensive, and most searches only last 2 weeks before being called off.

This chapter also shows how Twilight is fighting multiple fronts to try and find Rarity and bring her home safely.

8432974
A grass fire in the middle of a drought, would be a very bad idea.

8433171

Well, what about a controlled fire? Never said it couldn't be controlled and/or isolated from any flammable areas. Like maybe a bonfire w/ rocks?

Of course I am not actually in the story so therefore I cannot see a place where there isn't any lack of grass, or sure 100%. And it IS the Everfree, full of grown plants and trees.

8433224

Of course I am not actually in the story so therefore I cannot see a place where there isn't any lack of grass, or sure 100%.

Well there's your problem! Read the story and then you'll know!

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Yeah I know. I was sayin' I am not in the story so I don't 100% know where everything is.

Tho, that still won't put off my bonfire idea.

But I guess that would be too easy.

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Currently, unless you draw it out, I'm sticking close to what the updated map of equestria is like, as far as the world goes. Such as known mountain ranges and the like. One big change is the sheer scale of the forest. It's not this tiny patch of land like it's depicted in the show. Think more like the forest in the Lord of the Rings.

So far we know they live in the middle of a meadow. Water is becoming scarce, and theyll need to adapt. So playing around with fire is extremely risky.

A prepared bon fire isn't a bad idea, but i realize theres some details Ive put in but never elaborated on.

Such as when Atchmon was processing the boar he walked away and came back with fire wood. And I never mentioned where it came from. Or the fact he may have a stockpile prepared.

Again this story focuses more on character interaction, rather than a ponified survival guide.

I am keeping the other landmarks somewhat vague, since the story is in Rarity's perspective, this helps gives a sense of being 'lost in the woods' along with her.

'Free Lifetime Supply of Pinkie's Famous Cupcakes from Now On and ForEverrrr!', it had a foal's drawing of a pink pony munching happily on a cupcake, with a bite taken out of it.

This. This is the most in-character thing for Pinkie I have ever seen in a fanfic.

Keep up the good work, mate!

8444847
Thanks! It all came pretty easily. First goal was coming up what each of Rarity's friends would do to help find her, in their own unique ways. Wish I came up with something better for Fluttershy, but nothing new ever really came up.

I realized it didn't really follow the theme of the story, which is hardship.

I had a story idea some time ago. The placeholder name for it is "Juxtaposition". The theme of this story is also hardship, but there's a big difference.

There's a human trapped in the Everfree; possibly with a companion pony, possibly by himself. The human gets shit on constantly by reality. Just the worst crap that can happen does, at the worst possible times. Most of the time, whenever something goes right, something bad happens immediately.

For example, the human makes himself a bow after weeks of working, and can finally start actively hunting for food, instead of relying solely on traps and foraging. He makes a hunting platform up in a tree, and just as he's about to make his first kill with the bow, a supporting vine on the platform breaks, and he's thrown to the ground, where his bow, and possibly something worse, breaks.

Meanwhile, in Ponyville, things are going great. Rainbow Dash was just accepted into the Wonderbolts, and though her first couple of days were a little bumpy, she finds her place in the group and settles in, contented that one of her lifelong dreams has become a reality.

Back in the Everfree, the human has finally managed to get the starts of a small farm going. Hopefully soon, he'll be able to supplement his diet with food he grew himself. ...Little does he know, that a weeks-long drought is just about to start, and the small creek he's been relying on so far will be completely dried up withing a few days. If he wants to have any chance of survival, let alone saving his farm, he's going to have to either spend hours every day hauling water back from the next closest water source, or strike deep into the unexplored (and super dangerous) parts of the forest to find something closer.

Over in Ponyville, Twilight and the Remane 5 go on a vacation to Manehattan. It proves to be an amazing time, and the group grows closer than ever. Some trouble involving Starlight Glimmer and Trixie's interpersonal relationship goes down while they're away, but everything's sorted out by the time the Mane 6 gets back, and Starlight and Trixie both learn valuable lessons from the experience.

So on, and so forth.

The point being, the story can be about hardship, without always being about hardship; and really, I think it should be like that. Not saying you should change anything, just keep that in mind. A story where everything always went wrong would be exhausting to read.

EDIT: I'm super tired right now, but insomnia is keeping me up, and I'm also on some pretty strong pain killers, so I'm sorry if this came of as rambling. I'm not exactly at the peak of mental coordination.

8445614
True it doesn't only need to be about hardship, when I was thinking up how I was going to write out Atchmon's and Rarity's dynamic. I wanted this thing where every time Atchmon mistreats Rarity in any way, the universe always dishes it back at him.

Because no matter what, he's always going to feel above her. Because to him, she's still a little pony that he's trying to take care of.

I'm also running a secondary theme of marriage and divorce throughout the story as a whole. Given their relationship and curent lifestyle.

But I also didn't want this thing to be a pure survival story either. I really just wanted to focus on results, rather than a tedious step by step survival guide. Especially since I personally find character interaction and good dialog far more interesting. And I'm pretty proud of the dialog I've got so far. Even when I feel there's times it ends too suddenly.

Most of the world changing, like the drought, is just there for the sake of change, but to also to help prepare Rarity for what's to come. A big change is about to happen, and I've been hinting towards it for awhile.

It's been awhile and I was just wondering if you were still working on the story

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I am, bit by bit. Been taking a break since we just got thru with a 4 week-long event. I'll definitely finish this story one way or another. Can you believe it's been a year since I started this...

Hey don't forget your fans! Finish this story off over the Xmas break or something. Cant let it die!

oh will there be more i hope there is more did i mention i would like more?

8569359
I'll be waiting as long as it takes

8612896

8612524
I'll make the next chapter an christmas present. That'll give ya'll something to read when family is driving you nuts!

I think it's about time, for the next chapter, no?

What really annoys me, is the fact, that Rarity didn't tell him about Luna, during the argument of whether her friends are searching for her, or not.
Also the fact, that despite living with him for a while: she never asked him about the dream catcher. What's up with that?
Discord aware of the fourth wall, to progress the plot at a certain pace? I'm not sure: how I feel about that.

Other than that: I've been enjoying the story.

Oh yeah! One last thing! Why do you always put an exclamation point, when describing the drawings on the cave!?

I've enjoyed reading this very much so far. Keep at it, I Look forward to more!

I just re-listened to this one.

This is still a great story.

The Monk

Hate to ask but how's that update? I know you were working on one and life go in the way for abit...

Just want to make sure artist syndrome wasn't kicking in or something.

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I'm working on getting it out either tonight or tomorrow. Having problems transitioning from one thing to another. It feels a little random in some places. I'm as ready as you are for the next chapter. Getting tired of looking at this one.

"Would the filly like a pot? No finer pots in brass or silver!"

"Sugar dates! Sugar dates and figs! Sugar dates and pistachioooos!"

"Fresh fish, we catch'em, you never buy'em..." sighed a very grumpy looking griffin.

I'd know this scene anywhere! From Walt Disney's Alladin: the market scene where Alladin first meets princess Jasmine.

Minus the grumpy Griffin of course, but that's a minor detail

So by this time how long has it even been since Rarity went missing?!?! A week? Weeks? A month?

And I get that you think it'd make things too easy, but given how large the Everfree forest is, I don't think it's as big a Deus ex Machina as you think. It's kinda annoying how the Dreamcatcher was been danced around. Rarity never asked about it when she was asking about Acthmon's murals? Never thought to explain the Diarchy, what they do, how Luna can dreamwalk???

On one hand I can see it not coming up, OTOH it also feels glaring in it's exclusion, as if it'd drain all the tension from the situation. Would be a nice bit of lore, having Acthmon explaining the myth of the dreamcatcher(I only have very dim memories of it, and I got to wondering last night if it was a general Native American thing, or specific tribes), only for Rarity to freak out about him sabotaging her chances of rescue. Which....really only amounts to 1)Confirmation she's still alive, and 2) She's in the Everfree with another semi-friendly. Not sure how good a fly-over would be if the forest is as dense as it should be, plus needle in a haystack.

9053895
I think I remember it being over 2 weeks, not quite three. (Don't quote me on that.)

I understand where you're coming from. It's a bit of a stretch and I'll admit I haven't been sold on the timing of events (I'm pretty sure I messed up there.)

Looking at the current map of Equestria, I hate how the Everfree Forest is such a tiny area. An area that holds an old Castle (and a kingdom but that might be a stretch) a magical cloning pool, Pone-henge, dragons, an Ursa major/minor (ones the size of a building the other is like a living mountain!), and other huge beasts like manticores and Timberwolves. It took the Mane 6 most of the night just to reach the Castle of the Two sisters. I just think it would need to be significantly larger to hold all that.

The dreamcatcher definitely is going to be brought up and it's not going to create much tension. My reasons for it being brought up so late is a bit of a stretch so I'll explain more once I get that particular chapter out. I've already got the dialog written for it.