- Member Since 23rd Mar, 2015
- offline last seen Oct 11th, 2016
Shadow Redgrave
Just a stallion, and a keeper of stories; gather around my campfire and let me tell you a few~ Check out my story Fallout Equestria: Straitjacket
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Not bad at all. A few noticeable errors here and there, but the story is very interesting... and a bit terrifying.
6704513 thank you so much for the feedback, i noticed i made some errors heh, had a friend proof read it this weekend at his house...now i need a proof reader and editor on here. It is a work in progress, and even then, I personally felt that the first chapter is kinda rough and hard to get into, but the second chapter is gonna be all the more terrifying and more pull in. Stay tune~ i'm almost done with it.
Wow...
You are using the Hell out of that Dark Tag, and we only just started... Oh, well! Good job on this one, I like the story line, it's very new.
6727886 I'm Glad your loving it!!! Now, just so every pony knows, i'm not desperately attempting to make this a gruesome story, nor am i trying to make any pony uncomfortable, but there will be DARK elements as well as others, i'm trying to reach down into a more deeper fear of the wasteland, how some pony feels or what they really think in such situations of confusion, and fear; and i quote!
"New, fresh, and different. Is what i'm aiming for, with this story. As well as giving it a bigger crowd."
6732384 So far, what has pleased me the most thus far, is that you touched on the PTSD that the Equestrian Soldiers suffered from in the war. Not even the original Fallout Equestria touched on that rather horrible aspect of war.
And don't worry, when writing a FoE story, you can never be too Dark.
6733070 I know! I was always curious at how soldiers were effected by this tragedy, and as you can see... They were sent there to Red Heart Facility to be cured... Only, they weren't all, being kindly taken care of, and Red Hearts child, made an entire mess of things, in the most savage way possible.~
Question: What does you're character look like?
6758935 It is explained in chapter 2. I attempted to make the reader as confused about the character as much as the character was about himself, and he doesn't realize what he looks like until he sees himself (THIS IS WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE, look at da spoiler or read chapter 2 xp up to you)
He is a grey unicorn stallion with a blue mane and a long red streak going from his mane down to his tail.~
6760014 I only ask because I have an OC by the name of Straitjacket, he has his own story to. He has a white coat, grey man, and lives his life in a straitjacket