Adagio Dazzle frowned as she sat at the kitchen table, drumming her fingers on the table. "Where the hell is breakfast?" she grumbled.
Aria Blaze had just stomped into the kitchen a few minutes earlier and was busy making coffee. "There isn't any," she muttered.
Adagio frowned. "Why not?" She shot an annoyed glance toward the hallway that led to their bedrooms. "Go wake Sonata up and tell her to make breakfast."
"She's not here," Aria said. "We kicked her out yesterday, remember?"
Adagio snorted. "We kick her out at least once a month. She's always back in time for breakfast."
"Well, this time she isn't," Aria said with a shrug. "So if you want breakfast, make your own." With that, she rummaged through the cupboard and plucked out a wrapped pop-tart.
Adagio scowled. "When she comes back, I'm pulling out all her pubes with tweezers..."
* * * * *
In the wake of Sunset's departure, Flash had wandered listlessly around the house while Sonata occupied the bathroom. The whirlwind of panic that had seized him earlier had given way to despair, then frustration, then anger at being played, then panic again when he realized he didn't have any real hope of extricating himself from this situation without risking having his reputation completely trashed.
Now, he was left hollow, wondering if his reputation was even worth protecting...wondering if perhaps Sunset Shimmer had truly abandoned him.
And if she had, what then? There was nobody else he could turn to. As much as he hated to admit it, the only real friend he had—his bandmates were more "bros" and wouldn't really understand the situation—was Ditzy Doo, and asking for her help or advice would be...uncomfortable.
"Got my room ready?"
Flash turned to see Sonata, freshly scrubbed, hair shiny and sleek, and still wearing nothing more than one of his T-shirts. He frowned. "If you intend to stay here, you can at least make up your own damn room," he said. "And put some clothes on!"
Sonata shrugged. "Don't have any," she said. "Just what I had on last night and those need to be washed."
"Then wash them."
Sonata dug in one ear with a finger. "Hmm...I could do that I guess," she said. "Or, you could go do a little shopping for me!"
Flash snorted. "Yeah, not gonna happen."
"Okay," Sonata said, beginning to strip off the T-shirt she was wearing. "Then I'll just wander around naked."
"GAH!" Flash cried, face flaming. "J-just...!" He sighed. "Okay. Let me text a friend to ask her for a favor. I...don't like the idea of dragging her into this mess, but I think she'll help. In the meantime, like I said, if you really plan to stay here, you can make up the guest room yourself. But don't think for a minute this is a permanent arrangement! Soon as my folks are back, you're gone, got that?"
"We'll see," Sonata said, humming happily (and tunelessly) to herself as she wandered off into the back of the house.
Sighing again, Flash grabbed his phone and texted Ditzy, then slumped on the sofa. "How do I get myself into these things?" He grabbed the remote and turned on the TV, listlessly channel-surfing without really paying attention. After several minutes, he found a superhero cartoon playing that had been cool when he was younger, one he had fond memories of watching every Saturday morning until it went off the air. He started to settle in, then remembered the mess he'd left in the kitchen. With a sigh, he got up and headed for the kitchen to clean up the breakfast dishes.
His mother had drilled into him, from an early age, that keeping the house clean was important. She'd shown him some pictures and videos of what happened if you left the place a mess. It had scarred him for life. So many roaches...
He'd just finished scraping the grease out of the skillet and had put it in the sink to soak for a few minutes when the doorbell rang. "Huh, that was fast." He headed for the door, eager to greet his friend (and, at the moment, possible only savior)...
"BOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY."
The man standing on the front porch was dressed in a mortician's suit at least a century and a half out of date and had unhealthy-looking, wrinkled yellow skin, deep creases around his mouth, a hooked nose, and thick eyebrows. Balding on top, his grey hair was full in the back and on the sides, framing his broad, intimidating face in an iron curtain. His right eye was squinted closed; combined with the creases in his face and the downturned sneer of his wide lips, this gave him a fiercely angry expression. His one good eye glared at Flash, and his teeth were yellow and uneven. In his left hand, he held a cane topped with a gleaming silver ball.
Flash gulped. "G-Grandpa Angus," he said nervously.
A high, whining chuckle sounded from behind the dour, intimidating old man. "Oh, Dad, don't make the poor boy wet himself!" a nasally voice with a distinctive lisp said. A second man peeked out from behind Angus Sentry: he had light brownish-grey skin, an angular jaw with pronounced cheekbones, and hazel eyes magnified by ridiculously large black-framed glasses. His short dark hair was wavy and curled at the ends. He gave Flash a jaunty little wave.
Flash let out a shaky breath and stepped away from the door. "Uncle Rear," he said. "And...and Grandpa Angus. Wh-what brings you by?"
Angus stepped in with a stiff limp, and Rear Sentry strolled in like an ambling breeze. Flash suppressed an urge to roll his eyes at his uncle's attire, which consisted of a purple velvet suit, a white ruffled shirt, saddle shoes, and a bright orange silk scarf. "Oh, we were in the neighborhood," Uncle Rear said airily, waving one hand around absently. "I know Chop finally took your poor mother on that second honeymoon he's been promising for ages, but that doesn't mean I can't stop by just to see my favorite nephew!"
*I'm your only nephew...* "That's, uh...that's great, Uncle Rear," Flash said nervously. "So, uhh...you were just in the neighborhood, huh?"
"Rear and his damn antique chickens," Angus grunted in his gravelly voice as he stumped to the living room and sat down. He scowled at the TV. "You're too old for this shit, booooooy."
"Oh, uhh...just had it on for noise," Flash said. "You know, been cleaning up the house."
Rear chuckled. "Now see, that's why I love River, such a stickler for a clean house, she is." He shook his head. "How she manages to put up with a slob like your father, I'll never know..."
"Dad's not that bad," Flash said absently.
"Oh, but he is!" Rear said. "Why, I could tell you—" His phone rang. "Hold that thought," he said as he pulled it out of his pocket. He looked at the screen and clicked his tongue, then answered the call. "Yes, Stephen, what...no, Stephen...yes, Stephen...ugh, okay Stephen...look, I'm visiting my nephew right now, you know I don't get to see him that often, I'll call you back later, alright? Okay. Yeah. You do that. Goodbye, Stephen." He hung up, then pocketed his phone. "Honestly...so, where were we?"
The doorbell rang. "Umm...just a sec," Flash said, scurrying to the door. He opened it and found Ditzy standing there.
"Hey Flash," Ditzy said with a smile and a wave. "What's up?"
"All hell's breaking loose is what's up," Flash said quietly but urgently. "It's been that kind of day since I woke up and it just keeps getting worse and—"
"Well hello THERE!" they heard Rear say from the living room. "Say, aren't you a little cutie!"
"BOOOOOOOOOOY?"
Flash felt his blood turn to ice. "Aaaaaaand now I'm dead."
Ditzy tilted her head. "Okay, so your creepy grandpa and your weird gay uncle are here, but what—"
"Hi, I'm Sonata, nice to meet you! I'm Flash's girlfriend," they heard Sonata say with a cheerful giggle.
Ditzy blinked and gave Flash an inquisitive look tinged with suspicion and accusation. Flash facepalmed, grabbed her by the hand, and dragged her inside.
In the living room, they found Uncle Rear eyeing Sonata up and down while Angus glared murderously at the room in general. Sonata, for her part, was playing up the cuteness and sweetness factor. As soon as Ditzy saw her, she frowned, her eyes almost focusing. "Flash," she said slowly, "what's going on?"
"Oh, teenage drama, I love it!" Uncle Rear said, clapping his hands together. He gave Flash a saucy grin and a wink. "When the cat's away, right Flash? Hmmhmm, meeowwwww..."
"Hey Flash, who's the creepy old mortician and this hairball the 1970s spat up?" Sonata asked brashly.
Flash buried his face in his palms while Ditzy blinked several times.
"Oh, she is a firecracker!" Uncle Rear said, laughing through his nose. "But seriously, hon, bit late in the day to be...well, who am I to judge, right?"
Flash sighed. "Sonata, this is Grandpa Angus and Uncle Rear. Grandpa, Uncle Rear, this is Sonata Dusk. She's...staying the weekend, I guess. Sort of. It's...complicated."
"One night stand that blew up in your face?" Uncle Rear said with a knowing smirk. "Hon, how do you think I ended up with Stephen?" He shook his head. "Nothing new under the sun here, right Dad?"
Angus grunted, glaring at Flash.
"Flash?" Ditzy asked quietly, her eyes never leaving Sonata (and a rhododendron in the corner, but that's not important right now). "Why is one of the Dazzlings here, and why is she, umm...almost-but-just-barely-not-quite-naked?"
"My roomies kicked me out, I ran into Flash in town, we got to talking, one thing led to another, and we did it," Sonata offered. "And now I'm his girlfriend and I'm crashing here for a while. Also, I kinda left home without any, y'know, stuff, so right now the only clothes I've got are in the wash."
"And now I'm really glad I stopped by," Uncle Rear said with a grin. "This is so much better than The Drama Channel!"
"Umm, yeah, so, Ditz, about that favor I called you over for," Flash said quietly. "I, umm...was kind of hoping you'd maybe run to Navy Blue and pick up like maybe two or three days' worth of clothes for Sonata? Something not very expensive?"
Ditzy pursed her lips. "Are you kidding me?"
"Please, Ditz. I'm begging you."
Ditzy sighed, putting a hand on her hip. "Fine," she said, closing her eyes and holding out her other hand in a 'gimme money' gesture. "But I want an explanation later!"
Flash breathed a sigh of relief as he dug out his wallet. "Thanks, Ditz. I owe you one."
"Yeah yeah," Ditzy said dismissively. "I'm surprised you didn't call Sunset for this one, honestly. She's more the 'help you hide a body' type."
Flash scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Actually...I kinda did," he admitted. "She kicked me in the chest and yelled at me."
"Yeah, that was pretty messed up," Sonata said with a giggle.
"Alright," Ditzy said as she counted the money Flash handed her. "Let's go in the back so I can get your measurements," she said to Sonata. "Then I'll go get you some clothes."
Uncle Rear rubbed his hands together. "Well, I think I'm gonna take Dad home, but I'll be back later." He grinned. "I don't wanna miss a second of this whole catastrophe." As the girls wandered into the guest room, he fixed Flash with a knowing look. "So, bet you're really looking forward to Chop and River coming home and finding this mess, huh?"
Flash groaned, his shoulders slumping. "Yeah, I'm dead," he said.
Sounds painful.
You disturb and amuse me simultanously.
You have incredibly bad luck.
He's back!
And just like that, I'm dying of laughter. I hope you're proud of yourself.
As a doorknob. And I look forward to laughing at your misery because I find this entire fic, and generally anything tagged Comedy written by MythrilMoth hilarious.
... Ditzy X Flash... Yes or no? Hmm... ... Ditzy needs to be tagged then?? Or the Sirens??
Oh, it's Stephen Magnet, I think...
So, Angus isn't dead in this timeline...
Can't believe I'm sympathetic to Flash
So, I like seeing Ditzy back. As I've mentioned, I was hoping to get a more in-depth look at the friendship between her and Flash, and this seems like a good story to do it in. On the other hand, I'm not really happy to see Angus Sentry back. Never really cared for him. Sorry. Maybe everyone else will enjoy him more. The uncle is treading a line between being funny and being a dick, and that's fine with me. Though somehow I suspect his contribution to the scenario will be sitting back with a big bowl of popcorn.
Who's Angus, and why do I find this so hilarious?
I like this chapter. Enough said.
Oh god, call an exorcist! And pray Sonata didn't find the sauce recipe.
Huh. Charles Nelson Reilly pony as Flash's uncle? Can't say I've ever seen that one before.
I know I've said this before, but I do love the Flash-Ditzy dynamic you've developed recently. (After all, I never say no to more Best Pony.)
So, yeah, the stage is definitely set for some serious shenanigans. Hopefully the other Dazzlings will be able to extract Sonata before she does much more damage.
8073797
It was a flash of inspiration. (No, seriously, I decided while planning this chapter in my head to give Flash a really really GAY uncle, like 70s gay, and I was thinking about Paul Lynde or Charles Nelson Reilly, and then I remembered the CNR pony from the bazaar. Funny how these things work out.
And yeah, I seem to be running wild with Flash and Ditzy lately. @_@;;
Really? because in this particular case Flash could perfectly say "the evil siren manipulated me into" and everyone he knows would believe him over her.
That's one crazy uncle.
!!DOOM¡¡
Ahahaha, it keeps getting better!
ive never felt so much pity and not-quite-but-almost-hate towards a protagonist before...
i hope for more!
Dead man walking.
Normally I dislike any instance where Flash is in a bad situation or he's otherwise being screwed, since I'm a fan of his, but when Moth does it it is just so entertaining and when done as a comedy is very hilarious. Looks like Derpy is going to be the Flash's hero this time, unless Sunset apologizes to him soon and helps.
You know, besides liking Flash a bit here and being sympathetic-more proof that giving him a bit of characterization and gasp a personality makes him into a likeable character with astonishing ease-this is just hilarious.
I genuinely want to see where this goes, and what misery Flash is going to be dragged into.
If the uncle gets the idea that " one nightstand that blew up in your face" then why can't flash tell him that she intends to blackmail him for a place to stay? The present situation doesn't allow for that kind of clear thinking?
Poor Flash really needs a break.
Poor Flash,and also
Flash:
"I'm a dead man walking!"
8074434 Hey at least he has something common with his grandpa now
Film it, put it online. No more money problems for you.
8073861 An awful lot of people watching Rainbow Rocks seem to latch onto Sonata's cute ditziness and forget that she's as evil as the other two. CHS students might be equally gullible in-story, in which case "the evil siren manipulated me" might not work out.
Seeing Angus again makes me want to start arranging all MM's non-AU stories into a plausible timeline, too.
8075085 Good luck with that. By that logic, this story and Oversharing share the same continuity.
8075106 Hey, I figure it can't be too much more complicated than the Zelda series.
8075122
8074657 yeah
I have no idea how this escaped my attention until now, but it's hilarious. Sonata's a devious little thing, isn't she?
So much drama ahead! I'm usually not one for serious drama, but this is a comedy story, so it's all good. Looking forward to reading more, whenever that happens
8075085
We don't know the consequences of the Sirens' "hate plague" . Depending of how many relationships were damaged or destroyed, Canterlot 's students may hate the Dazzlings' guts even more than Sunset's after the first movie.
8076303 Well, they should, since the Sirens have a much longer history of being evil (and ran away instead of trying to make amends somehow). But in the absence of the other two, Sonata might have a pretty good shot at pretending to be pitiable and not at all an evil manipulator.
The hate plague seemed relatively short-lived though, and people came back to their senses when the Sirens' power broke. I doubt all that many relationships were destroyed anyway, since CHS students 1) generally believe in the magic of friendship and 2) are well aware that other sorts of magic have been messing with them. You'd have to be pretty spiteful to stay mad at someone once you know the Sirens made them say/do whatever upset you.
8075122 would be great to see the finished version of that
Great to see Angus again!
Really hope someone starts recognizing that Flash is the victim here. At least Ditzy is the reliable friend.
I bet Grandpa Sentry will turn on Sonata once she steals his secret sauce recipe.
Love the gimme money guestue.
8076780
A minor question: does anyone else think Granpa Sentry may be actually based on Old Man Henderson?
8077836 Considering that Sonata could technically qualify as a Lovecraftian monster (ancient sea creature with the power to drive men mad), that could be problematic.
8073700 "Back"? You mean we've seen this guy before, somewhere?
What about Uncle Rear Sentry? (Pfft! )
8082403
Over here.
Uncle Rear is new though.
8082750 Ah right.
There are so many of your stories I haven't read yet, need to do that at some point...
Take out the s in rear sentry what do you get? ;3
...I apologize if that offended anyone
8090863 Hah! That's actually the joke with his name. Believe it or not, "Rear Sentry" is the result of Zef talking me down from outright naming him Ass Entry.
8090968 lol
W0w 1 14u9h3d 50 h4rd! 4nd my 1395 k3p7 k1ck1n9 45 1f 1 w45 Br34burn! 1 41m057 k1ck3d my 14mp!
8173135
🎼Please don't type like that🎼
8173135
AGH! MY GOD DAMN IT! FUCKING AWFUL TYPING!
8173135
L33T-speak is Largo's thing from "Megatokyo".
Welp, this made my bad day better. Though, honestly, I have no idea what Flash is complaining about. I'd take Sonata off his hands.
Abusive household! I can imagine why Sonata ran. They don't need a cure for her bitchiness, they gotta get this girl a good psych!
Keep him around! He's genre-savvy!
Neeevermind, he has no solutions
You know, Ditzy, Flash has already given you an explanation for all this. So has Sonata. The fact that it isn't a very good explanation at all probably actually tells you more about just how bizarre and out-of-control this situation has become and just how futile 'explanations' are going to be.
Dagi, when you say: "Get out and don't come back" enough times eventually 'Nata is going to assume that you mean it. You should consider that carefully. Aria doesn't care but she's such a self-starter that I doubt she needs to be waiting on hand-and-foot the way you do.
I love Flash's flamboyant uncle by the way. Sonata is right, it's like the 1970s have been personified and walked through the door!
jeez sonata, wtf!
I doubt his parents will allow you to stay sonata.
That's what is happening Derpy, and it ain't pretty. 😑
Totally