A Flash of Indignation
The ice cream was long since gone.
Uncle Rear sat back in his chair, looking at the group, pursing his lips. "Wow," he said. "That's quite the story, kids."
"Yeah, it's hard to believe it until you've lived it," Pinkie Pie said as she fished the last cherry out of the jar with a toothpick and popped it in her mouth.
"Well..." Uncle Rear chewed the inside of his cheek. "I mean, if the portal to this Equestria is right at the school, it isn't really a long-distance relationship, is it?"
"Well...not as such, but..." Sunset said, frowning. "The thing is, Twilight can't just get away and come here whenever she wants because she's kind of super important over there, and..." She pursed her lips. "I'm...not sure things would work out if Flash decided to go over there instead."
"Why not?" Uncle Rear asked.
"Yeah, why not?" Sonata said with a faint grin.
"Umm...you did catch the part where me and Twilight—and this ditz over here—aren't human beings, right?" Sunset pointed out. "The portal turns us human. In this world, we're human. Back home, we're...not human."
"Umm...wouldn't Flash turn into a pony going over there though?" Pinkie asked, tilting her head. "I mean...you'd still be the same species..."
"I think it's easier to adjust coming from there to here than going from here to there," Sunset said. "Besides...well..." She smirked at Flash. "I happen to know for a fact Flash has certain...interests when it comes to girls. Which...don't really translate over to Equestria."
Uncle Rear thought about that for a minute, then smirked. "Ah. No boobs."
Flash burned scarlet as everybody laughed at him. "Don't make me sound so shallow!" he cried.
"Sorry Flash," Sunset said, laughing, "but you do like boobs, admit it, and I don't know if you'd...well...feel the same way about Twilight as a pony as you do about Twilight as a cute human girl with a sexy body."
"S-sexy?" Twilight echoed with a blush. Then she blinked as the rest of what Sunset said caught up to her. "Wait. Is that all it is, it's..." She glanced at Flash, a demanding look in her eyes.
"NO!" Flash yelped. "I mean, yes, okay, I'm attracted to...stuff about girls, most guys my age are," he said defensively, "but that's not—I mean—"
"But it would be hard for a human to see a pony as a lover," Fluttershy said. "Umm...I mean, a human who isn't some kind of weird pervert anyway."
"Wow," Sonata said, staring at Fluttershy. "Judgmental much?"
Fluttershy looked away. "I...accidentally clicked on a really really wrong website once," she said, shuddering. "I don't like to talk about it..."
"I honestly do kinda see it as a potential problem," Sunset said before anybody could ask Fluttershy anything. "I mean, even if Flash was a pony himself, he'd still think like a human, and the reality is he'd be surrounded by talking ponies. As freaky as the culture shock coming from there to here was, I honestly think one of you going there would be a lot worse." She paused. "Well, except maybe Fluttershy. Pretty sure going to Equestria would be like dying and going to Heaven for her." At Fluttershy's disbelieving and mildly offended look, Sunset held up her hands in a placating gesture. "Because you love cute fuzzy animals!" she insisted. "And, well, entire world full of magical ponies!"
Fluttershy considered this. "Fair enough," she said with a shrug.
Twilight frowned. "From what I've learned about this world...yeah, I think I can see that," she said. "Besides, it'd be awkward having Flash there when I actually know the other Flash Sentry. Not very well, but..." She grimaced. "I don't know if I can look at a pony Flash and see this Flash."
"So why don't you just hook up with that Flash?" Sonata suggested brightly.
"He's a weiner," Twilight said dismissively. Everybody blinked at her. She ducked her head and coughed. "I mean, he's...just...not very interesting to me?"
Flash frowned. "I feel like I should be mildly insulted," he said.
"No, no, it's—!" Twilight shook her head frantically. "He's not you, you know?" she said. "I mean, you're you, and he's...just this guardspony at my sister-in-law's castle..."
"Oh, he's a guard over there?" Sunset asked. "That sucks. The only thing guards are good for is harems."
Everybody stared at her. She blinked, then blushed. "I-is what they say! You know in-in Canterlot..." She ducked her head. "I never...I mean..."
"Oh...my..." Fluttershy whispered, her cheeks heating up.
"Oh my indeed," Uncle Rear said, fanning himself with a napkin. "Now I'm picturing a dozen oiled-up, sweaty Greek gods in polished gold armor..." He dabbed sweat from his brow. "I...need a minute here, kids..."
Twilight blinked. "Um. Wow. You guys are..." She shook her head. "Yikes."
Flash coughed. "Um. Right. So...anywa—"
The sound of breaking glass cut him off. Every head whipped around to the front of the house. "What the hell?!" Flash cried.
"SONATA! GET YOUR WORTHLESS SPACE CADET ASS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW SO I CAN CUT OFF YOUR FINGERS, YOUR LEGS, YOUR CLIT, YOUR HAIR, AND YOUR EARS, IN THAT ORDER!!"
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Well, Rear took it better than I thought. I believed things would suddenly look up for poor Flash, but then...
I don't know who to feel more sorry for: Sonata or Flash.
I blame her teaching under Celestia.
Poor Flash. He never asked for this.
enter Adagio......although that coulda been Aria. who knows
Ooh. So that's what the special-order extra large vats of body oil dispensers around Canterlot Castle are for.
Guard 1: "Do you ever feel weird doing this every single day? I mean, what's even the point?"
Guard 2: "Eh, I don't mind. Keeps me cool on a hot day. Like today, whew! I'm all sweaty! Look, it's glistening all over me!"
Celestia: "[Heavy Breathing]"
Well, looks like Sonata's in trouble and she brought it all on herself.
Let the boy try, at the least, says I!
8378354
I believe a butt man would like equestrian more
8378380
My counterargument: crotchtits! Now, everything is conveniently located in the same general area.
Not to mention the age differences and respective roles for the future.
Give up. You're not gonna win this one.
How do you know this?
I'm starting to think she wanted that teenage army for.... other purposes, and taking over Equestria was just an afterthought...
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8378559
Ah...and there's the evil bitch sister is evil bitch sister cliche.dang that's a good one.
Also..min flash likes boobs he just needs to get twilight pregnant first. But he may find their location a bit...different. Anyone that uses Derpibooru has probably learned this by now wether they wanted to or not. Downside,awkward groping. Upside,getting a breast sandwich has never been easier.
8378660
8378395
8378354
By the way, anecdotal evidence points to Sunset being wrong. She, Sunset Shimmer, apparently found a human boy somewhat attractive upon entering the human world. Twilight did too. The Sirens seem to go for anything not running or swimming away quickly enough. Flash may find he likes what he sees once he turns into a pony.
Well this is one embarrassing moment to another embarrassing moment. Although I think it would be fair to leave Flash the benefit of the doubt on how he would adapt to Equestria, but at this point, yeah it's toast.
And it's seems it's toast also for Sonata. Yikes.
8378660
Classy. >.>;;
8378687
Yeah, thing is...do you really think it works in reverse? Nothing like humans even exists in Equestria, which has a very specially diverse population of sapient creatures. The human world has one sapient race (well, probably more like three but there's one HELL of a communications barrier) and equines are universally viewed and treated as simple animals...do you see the inherent problem here?
8378881
Um..not really..they are sentient after all...if anything it's easier to think of them as aliens instead of animals.I mean..the forward larger eyes,the muscle movements they can perform,etc....
And honestly the things some MLP fans post on the internet supports how easy a leap it would be.
1st Rule of humans:We are freaks of nature.We are the only sentient race on our world,We have an unhealthy desire to screw anything and everything in whatever way we can imagine,We invented the internet.... even discord isn't that mentally deranged.
Hah, so much awkwardness in one scene that it could last a lifetime for someone else.
And Sunset has managed to placate Fluttershy quite well.
Adagio's argument though... well, while she makes quite an attractive point, I believe it's in Sunset's best interests to politely refuse
Also, Flash better man up and require Adagio to pay for that broken window, or at least properly repair it. Even if Twi might be able to use some of her magic (if she figures it out), it's the principle of the matter.
8378687 I'm am ass guy, and part of the committie so lack of boobs wouldn't bother me.
8378395 eh......not sure if want.....
8378380 or a member of the committee
"I love animals, but I don't... love animals."
Sunset winced. "Sorry again about that rumor."
"What rumor?"
"Moving on!"
Yeah, moving from either world to the other is going to be a tremendous culture shock, but at least ponies are used to the idea of other civilized species existing in real life. For humans... It'd certainly be tricky. And depending on how cross-species attraction works—i.e. whether it's more a matter of personal preference or biochemsitry—a relationship might prove very tricky indeed. (And that then raises a question about Twilight's anthrophilia, but that's not the crux of this story. Though it would make for an amusing counterpart to Flash's luck: Why Do I Like Ape Boys?)
In any case, the other sirens clearly haven't seen The Princess Bride. You leave the ears on so they can hear the terrified women and children scream "Oh God, oh God, what is that thing?" Let's see if anyone bothers to correct them.
theres no chance this can end in a happy ice cream party is there?
8378887
Sentient and sapient are different things. And you're kind of missing the point.
8378881
I don't know. What I do know is there's at least two science horses sitting at that table and this would be a great opportunity for an experiment!
8379198
I see the difference but honestly their have even been fics a about this mental hurdle.And that'd not including the mental hurdle of 'mythical creator's...heck,if anything at least minotaurs would be a partial option. Point is Internet has made the human mind a lot more accepting of things. After all,how many people have a thing for the various species in an MMO game?but anyway,this topic will always be one without a clear answer...
Fun comment section, but no one mentioned this, did they?
She's calling you out (you know who you are).
8379247
Most of those are still humanoid, but there are definitely people who could make it work. Cross-species relationships was a subplot of the Mass Effect series.
Ok, now I want Flash to go with Twilight back to Equestria for a day just to see how things play out. I guess I feel vaguely insulted for the human race that they think we couldn't handle it...except for Fluttershy.
8379533
Tell me about it. I've come across a few stories where Flash decides to move to Equestria to be with Twilight and fits in fine. It's like moving to a new town thanks to the portal, and he usually ends up becoming a guard or prince. He would have to sacrifice a few things but it isn't impossible.
8379198
And yet Sunset and the Dazzlings were able to adjust to life in the human world perfectly. And while there might not be anything like humans in Equestria, there are creatures with human-like mannerisms there, such as minotaurs.
Not to mention it feels like Flash isn't getting much of a say in this matter, why not at least give him a chance to try first instead of just speaking on his behalf? It's better to try and fail than to simply give up
8380188
You're arguing in circles.
8380214
I'm not trying to argue, I'm just saying this should be brought up in-story instead of being ignored.
where's that Supernatural clip when you need it?
"You have a piece of siren in your hair"
8380251
But, if that's not your bag, I'd understand. Also of note, stories that represent perfectly fair and honest worlds are often quite boring. Not even MLP:FIM is like that.
I don't think this is that kind of story. I'm pretty sure, at least at this point so far, Flash is just the butt of the joke. He doesn't get a say so because he's the doormat/punching bag until he decides to man up. Personally, I find this quite amusing.
8384397
Yep, and most stories that do depict those types of world typically reveal how those worlds are kept that way, which tends to be dark since Humans are sapient and thus can override their instincts a lot easier than other animals, making us heavily individualistic and thus kinda making a perfect world impossible without barbaric means of control that actually are considered to be highly unethical world wide. So yeah... most utopian societies in stories tend to end up getting overthrown or destroyed because they are societies built on top of lies.
Sonata the Space Cadet? Buzz Lightyear has some explaining to do.
*Sigh* No, Adagio, don't hold back. Let it all out.
I love how Twilight doesn't like pony!Flash and that ponies lack a certain jje ne sais quoi for human!Flash. This is possibly the funniest expansion of the concept of 'long distance and inter-species relationships don't work' that I've ever read. I don't know if it makes you evil or just a genius for coming up with this chapter!
Understandable fluttershy, I've been in the same situation many times myself.
Uh oh!!! 😰