The ice cream was long since gone.
Uncle Rear sat back in his chair, looking at the group, pursing his lips. "Wow," he said. "That's quite the story, kids."
"Yeah, it's hard to believe it until you've lived it," Pinkie Pie said as she fished the last cherry out of the jar with a toothpick and popped it in her mouth.
"Well..." Uncle Rear chewed the inside of his cheek. "I mean, if the portal to this Equestria is right at the school, it isn't really a long-distance relationship, is it?"
"Well...not as such, but..." Sunset said, frowning. "The thing is, Twilight can't just get away and come here whenever she wants because she's kind of super important over there, and..." She pursed her lips. "I'm...not sure things would work out if Flash decided to go over there instead."
"Why not?" Uncle Rear asked.
"Yeah, why not?" Sonata said with a faint grin.
"Umm...you did catch the part where me and Twilight—and this ditz over here—aren't human beings, right?" Sunset pointed out. "The portal turns us human. In this world, we're human. Back home, we're...not human."
"Umm...wouldn't Flash turn into a pony going over there though?" Pinkie asked, tilting her head. "I mean...you'd still be the same species..."
"I think it's easier to adjust coming from there to here than going from here to there," Sunset said. "Besides...well..." She smirked at Flash. "I happen to know for a fact Flash has certain...interests when it comes to girls. Which...don't really translate over to Equestria."
Uncle Rear thought about that for a minute, then smirked. "Ah. No boobs."
Flash burned scarlet as everybody laughed at him. "Don't make me sound so shallow!" he cried.
"Sorry Flash," Sunset said, laughing, "but you do like boobs, admit it, and I don't know if you'd...well...feel the same way about Twilight as a pony as you do about Twilight as a cute human girl with a sexy body."
"S-sexy?" Twilight echoed with a blush. Then she blinked as the rest of what Sunset said caught up to her. "Wait. Is that all it is, it's..." She glanced at Flash, a demanding look in her eyes.
"NO!" Flash yelped. "I mean, yes, okay, I'm attracted to...stuff about girls, most guys my age are," he said defensively, "but that's not—I mean—"
"But it would be hard for a human to see a pony as a lover," Fluttershy said. "Umm...I mean, a human who isn't some kind of weird pervert anyway."
"Wow," Sonata said, staring at Fluttershy. "Judgmental much?"
Fluttershy looked away. "I...accidentally clicked on a really really wrong website once," she said, shuddering. "I don't like to talk about it..."
"I honestly do kinda see it as a potential problem," Sunset said before anybody could ask Fluttershy anything. "I mean, even if Flash was a pony himself, he'd still think like a human, and the reality is he'd be surrounded by talking ponies. As freaky as the culture shock coming from there to here was, I honestly think one of you going there would be a lot worse." She paused. "Well, except maybe Fluttershy. Pretty sure going to Equestria would be like dying and going to Heaven for her." At Fluttershy's disbelieving and mildly offended look, Sunset held up her hands in a placating gesture. "Because you love cute fuzzy animals!" she insisted. "And, well, entire world full of magical ponies!"
Fluttershy considered this. "Fair enough," she said with a shrug.
Twilight frowned. "From what I've learned about this world...yeah, I think I can see that," she said. "Besides, it'd be awkward having Flash there when I actually know the other Flash Sentry. Not very well, but..." She grimaced. "I don't know if I can look at a pony Flash and see this Flash."
"So why don't you just hook up with that Flash?" Sonata suggested brightly.
"He's a weiner," Twilight said dismissively. Everybody blinked at her. She ducked her head and coughed. "I mean, he's...just...not very interesting to me?"
Flash frowned. "I feel like I should be mildly insulted," he said.
"No, no, it's—!" Twilight shook her head frantically. "He's not you, you know?" she said. "I mean, you're you, and he's...just this guardspony at my sister-in-law's castle..."
"Oh, he's a guard over there?" Sunset asked. "That sucks. The only thing guards are good for is harems."
Everybody stared at her. She blinked, then blushed. "I-is what they say! You know in-in Canterlot..." She ducked her head. "I never...I mean..."
"Oh...my..." Fluttershy whispered, her cheeks heating up.
"Oh my indeed," Uncle Rear said, fanning himself with a napkin. "Now I'm picturing a dozen oiled-up, sweaty Greek gods in polished gold armor..." He dabbed sweat from his brow. "I...need a minute here, kids..."
Twilight blinked. "Um. Wow. You guys are..." She shook her head. "Yikes."
Flash coughed. "Um. Right. So...anywa—"
The sound of breaking glass cut him off. Every head whipped around to the front of the house. "What the hell?!" Flash cried.
"SONATA! GET YOUR WORTHLESS SPACE CADET ASS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW SO I CAN CUT OFF YOUR FINGERS, YOUR LEGS, YOUR CLIT, YOUR HAIR, AND YOUR EARS, IN THAT ORDER!!"