Orian
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This is really good. The writing is great, though a bit confusing at times (it might be me tho) and the story is going in an interesting and unexpected route. I just hope that Daniel is not going to lose his hand, though I can only assume by the lack of "dark" tag that his injuries are not going to be too severe in a few chapters.
6370748 I am very happy to hear that you've enjoyed the story so far. I also hope, as I become more engrossed in the story myself, that I can improve any presentation issues. I must admit that feedback is what can make or break any story, and while I know improvements can/will be made, it was time to let not just myself be the judge. So I do highly appreciate your comment, DrMalchance.
As far as his hand, and the lack of the dark tag, you would be correct to error towards the story not meant to be overly damning. While Daniel is not out of the woods yet, and may very well never be, that just might be what saves him.
Well, that and a certain cranky Doctor.
I'm not gonna lie, I'm having a bit of trouble understanding what's going on. I'll track this story and hope I can understand better as it goes.
6384008 I have one more chapter coming out, or two if they continue to grow and need split, and I am going back through each one to help iron out any issues. There does seem to be something that I'm accomplishing that isn't good for the story, and I do plan to sit back and try and find out how to improve upon it.
Thank you for taking the time to give some feedback, Gamer91
my thoughts are good job keep it up
6399040 Thank you. Greatly appreciated and looking forward to finally being able to mesh several points together in the next few chapters.
it's hard to tell sometimes what is where and when a dream starts and when it ends. or if a dream has even started at all. not sure if this is just the style you are using in which case good. it has served to make me go back and re-read multiple times to understand it.
6414898 in a good way of course
I really like it so far, but it suffers the same problem as your other fic. It can get really confusing at times. I understand that your trying to go for show don't tell, but you might need to tell a little bit so people can understand what's going on. Other than that it's really good so far.
This chapter was much easier to understand than the previous, very enjoyable so far.
I've enjoyed this so far, I hope you continue it.
Well, my only annoyance is an annoyance of deciding from which point of view is the story being told? Is it from Celestia's, Luna's, or Daniel's? Or is it from the Minotaur diplomats? Or is it Dr. Hoofmender? The best example I can give for a good flowing narrative with different view points is the Dragonriders of Pern stories by Miss McCaffrey. She picks one point of view per chapter, and the story is fairly cohesive and makes a consistent level of sense.