The Equestrian Omni-Knight

by Azure5555

A Vampire and Her Wolf Walk Into A Desert Pt5: Wisemen Say...

For a moment, the queen and I just sort of laughed. Once the cave’s constant fire and heat began to die down, Cadence and Moonpie had made their way over once the barrier of fire had dispersed.

The happy came to a sudden and abrupt end however as the Shadowfire axe was plunged just millimeters away from Chrissy's head.

“Good, kill her so we can get out of here and go home.” The fiery princess stated without any emotion.

“Is that truly necessary? Has she not suffered enough?” Luna asked.

I could now feel the heat rise again, snapping my head back, I gave Cadence a serious glare.
Seconds passed until finally she huffed in defeat. “Make this good hero…”

I nodded and faced the queen once again. “Look, I don't want to see you die, and you don't even want to die,”

I waited until she managed a nod.

“What I do next, it'll keep you alive… but not in the traditional sense.”

She doesn't even wait for clarification until she nods again. “Done deal.”

“I didn't even tell you what woul-.” She shut me up with a hoof to my lips. Her eyes fading and fading fast.

“Done deal.” I nodded as I began to wiggle my right arm out of Flandre's hold. I gave up as she just moved higher, her legs now locked along my elbow and her jaws once again on my shoulder.

I pulled out my Green Dragon Ocarina with my left as I rose to my feet and placed the instrument to my lips.

The Song of Healing began to echo along the walls of the cave. The scarred ground began to heal, Cadence and Luna held each other as they both lost themselves to tears…

And Chrysalis had disappeared into dust, the only remnant of her existence was a single mask molded in effigy.

“No shit that actually wor-gahfrim!!” I was tackled to the floor, a wet muzzle nuzzling itself into my neck. Unfortunately that also meant I went face first into the mask.

Flandre whines in displeasure, having been thrown off from the tackle.

That wasn't the only whine however as Luna rushed off my back as the mask began to work it's mojo… a stonelike carapace began to work it's way onto my face as a burst of light flooded the room.

I began to rise, an echoing voice resounding in my mind.

“This is far more than I could have hoped for… treat me with respect deserving a queen.”

The frig? “Oh not anot- do I sound more feminine to you?” I asked looking at Moonpie and Flandre.

Moonpie started to motion to my hips and chest, but why would she-

“Sweet dreams are made of this! I-I h-h-ave…” I groped my now pronounced chest and squealed in abject fear.

My body had also undergone some wicked change... chitin had melded with scale, I was now pitch black, but at least I still had my hair… which was now sea foam green.

“Uhm… I can fix this… I think?” My mind was going fuzzy, a strange scent filled my nostrils… no… not strange…

“Luna, did you always look so God damn enticing?” I said with heavy breath.

“Azure!? Not in front of the child!” My Moonpie chastised.

“Flan, does this bother you?” I asked, now far less wary of my current predicament.

Flandre was rolling on the ground, full chibi mode and didn’t seem to even notice what was going on around her. How she hasn’t snapped her wings by accident had to be thanks to anime logic.

“See~” I began to sway my new hips to an unknown rhythm as I used all my ballet skills to saunter up to Moonpie. “She doesn't mind…” I traced a finger along her burning face, meeting her eyes as she grasped my cheeks and pulled.

The world was once again a bright brilliant lightbulb, my senses having come back to me.

“Wha… what just happened…” Before me was a shaking Luna, she looked pale… kinda like she just saw a ghost. “You don't look to-” Without warning, her lips met my own before she nuzzled into my chest.

“You look better this way…” The pegasus whispered.

“O-okay…” She pulled away and put the mask in my hands.

“Don't wear it again.” She gave me another quick peck before she made her way out of the cliffside.

Checking back to the incredibly loopy Flan, I picked her up by her sides and leveled her face with my own.

“I need to go do something real quick, wanna go meet back with Ammy and the others?” I ask the still Chibi Vampire.

“Uh huh~” She says with a nod, nearly biting my nose. “Onii-chan~” The vampire paws my face a bit.

“Nee-chan~” I put my nose against hers and shook my head before letting her go on her way.

I found myself alone in the empty cave. 'Cadence must have high tailed it before Luna did…’ I began to walk to the cliff edge, looking down at the settled magma, steeling myself for this next part.

“Alright Chrysalis… let's hope some of that Orb magic rubbed off on you.” I dived as I placed the mask upon my face once again.

“Hello hero, you came back rather quickly~”

I impacted the molten river nose first, I spun around once I was submerged and began to look for the Orb.

“Over there, follow the heat.”

She was right, it was getting hotter the closer I got. I swam as fast as I could, my body holding out against the burning river.

“Getting much hotter now~”

There. The Orb was finally in my hands… I swam up, bursting through the river and spreading my wings. They felt so much lighter for some reason…

“We're well known for being the fastest race on the planet, though we do so love taking our time~”

“Gah! Enough of the double entendre and innuendo!!! It's hard enough trying to keep my head on straight with you inside of me.” I had to face palm as I realized too late what it was I just said.

It didn't help that Chrysalis kept laughing at how flustered I was…

“That's it, the mask comes off.” I reached to the folds of my cheeks when Chryssi hurriedly tried to stop me.

“Don't be so hasty, you can keep me on for a little longer can't you? I'll be a good little queen~”

“Hmmmmm……. Stupid audio erotica… okay, but we have to do something abo-” My body was bathed in green fire as all my normal features had returned.

“Ahem… testing testing… hmm. My voice still sounds so much smoother than normal… I mean that's not a bad thing actually…” I hugged my waist, thought after thought running through my brain.

“I can be very good to you, and you can be as bad as you want with me~”

“Stop. It.” My cheeks felt so much hotter now… I was not this bashful as a guy…

“No. Still a guy. Still. A guy.” I huffed and hurried back to the hovel we all came in through.

First thing I noticed was Cadence, Shining on her back again… though they both looked absolutely ragged.

Ammy was trying to bury her muzzle in Luna’s mane again… the Changelings from the brothel were braiding Luna’s tail and Flan…

It's like she was this bright shining light in the darkness. Her adorable and innocent smile, the way her little side ponytail had this bounce to it, and the crystals on her wings… “Are you drooling?”

“Huh wuh? O-oh OH! I'm so very sorry… who?”

“Onii-chan~” And Flandre’s biting my arm again, not even piercing the outer skin.

“...Who did she bite?” Ammy says, laying off to the side but very much awake and very annoyed.

“You assume she even had someone to bite.” I say rather playfully. I started scratching Flan’s chin, eliciting an adorable giggle. “We ready to leave this Hell hole?”

“Yes. Please.” Ammy says, standing up .”Ugh, times like these I wish we weren’t displaced…”

“It's the hand we were dealt, it's a terrible deal, but we make the best of it,” I ruffled little Flan’s head and turned back to the hole I drilled.

I charged one last Destruction Burst, using the Fire Orb to augment it's payload, and threw it into the empty throne room. “To new beginnings!”

The Changelings began to form up single file as they followed my steps. Their wings vibrating every so often... telling me things...how happy they are to have such a strong queen to lead them… how cute they think Cadence and Shiny are as a couple…

Somehow... something on me vibrated messages too. How things would change with the survivors of Akriloth’s assault… how off limits the princess and her knight were… and that they would learn just how strong their “new queen” is.

“Let's cut through here, it'll get us up faster.” I said as I started to climb through an off hand burrow.

“How do you know that?” Shining asked, now fully awake and aware of his surroundings.

“Hmm?” I looked back to him, a smile on my face. “Echolocation. Come on, did you forget who you were talking to?”

I went back to climbing, making certain twists and turns… only for Shining to bring the matter back up.

“No... you would have gotten us down there faster… and your voice is off…”

I only shook my head, laughing at his paranoia.

“You're tired. We're all tired. Once this is over, we'll head to the spa and just forget about today. My treat, and don't think that doesn't include you too Ammy~”

I punched a hole to my left, sand cascading into the pathway.

“Home free! Let's get out of here.”

“My my, I chose right with you~”

'Chrysalis, I will take off this mask.’ I groaned at my new mental squatter.

“Weeeee~” Flandre rolls over in the air before stopping at Luna and trying to bite her on the hoof.

With a quick grab and pull, I had the adorable mass of adorability by the scruff of her neck as she flailed her arms up and down at cartoonish speed.

“You'll be biting into something sweet soon my little one. You need not be hasty.” I pulled her in close as I wiggled out to the light of dusk.

I threw Flan into the air as she began to happily soar through the open skies. I rushed out into the open and saw the sun had finally ended it's descent.

A wicked idea began to form in my mind as I raised my arm.

“I've always wanted to do this! LIGHT!” A white crescent moon was emblazoned on my chest as I felt the soft and rounded form of the moon.

As if greeting an old friend, the moon began to rise, the celestial body listening to my gentle coaxing.

“Are you raising the moon!?” I heard Cadence cry.

“Awesome right!? Moonpie, your magic is so much stronger now! You're gonna be a beast once I give it back!”

“I better keep Yumigami away from this world…” Ammy mumbles out loud, not really meaning for others to hear,

“Yumi who?” I look back at Ammy with a playful smirk. “Heightened hearing, it comes with the whole Dracopyre package!”

I let the moon go, content to see it in it's rightful place.

I had yet to even turn around when I was once again tackled by a mass of dark blue pony.

“A moon goddess who’s very, VERY competitive and a very temperamental rabbit.” Then she drooled a bit. “Who makes the best Mochi I have ever tasted.” Then she lowered her head. “And likes to hit things with her Mallet. Specifically, me.”

I gently caressed the mare atop of me, as I looked to Ammy.

“Why does it feel like I've heard that legend somewhere?” I give a playful half bite on Luna’s ear and patted her barrel.

“Noo… let me stay like this with you.” She complained.

“They're looking at us. Come on, your sister might have felt that and will no doubt try and find you out here.” Luna stuck her tongue out at me, before licking my face and getting herself off of me.

“Bleh, tastes like sand…” 'Damn that mare.’ I thought with a small grin making it's way on my face.

“Hmhm~ I see that you do have someone special.”

“OKAY THAT'S IT!” I exclaimed as I whipped out the Fire Orb. A great red light began to flood the world which I used to mask my...well mask removal. The light died down and I was once again myself.

“Flaaaan! Can you use Four of a Kind again? I have a promise to keep!” I called out.

She nods, barely registering the request and holding out her hand. “Taboo: Four of a Kind~” Followed by four poofing noises.

“FINALLY!”

“Yay!”

“Aw, I was having a pleasant dream.”

“...” Anger was strangely the tamest and just looked bored.

I pull out my Destruction Diamond and raise it high. A bright light bounced off the crimson gem of DOOM and Destruction. “Who wants to pull the trigger to the greatest bomb known to man!?” I yelled in excitement.

Feral and Anger shoot up their hands while Joy just jumps a bit. “Explosions? Like fireworks?!” She says rather innocently.

I motion to Feral and Anger and held out the Diamond.

“Put your hands on the diamond and feel it.”

Both of them grabbed the diamond with both of their hands. “Feel it…” Feral says with a smirk and they both activated the Diamond easily.

I looked back, feeling the earth rumble from beneath.

“Now sit back and watch the show.” A single lance of red light shot out from the sands… followed by three others… which soon began to expand into a violent exploding vortex of blackened skulls and vicious fire.

The sky was set ablaze in crimson glory as brilliant bursts littered the sky like vibrant stars upon a gentle ocean.

As the vortex began to fade, it gave way to a very surprising visage. A mountain sized statue of Chrysalis, complete with back pincers, had risen from the ground.

“Hmm… must have been that last charge…” I whispered to myself.

Wordlessly, the two clones lifted their hands up, red magic encompassing in the palms of their hands, forming small glass baubles. Then, they crushed the glass circles with a light squeeze, the statue suddenly turning red and exploding into non-existence.

The was no sign of it ever even existing, barring memory.

“HO-LY NUT BALLS! THAT WAS AWESOME!!” I yelled as I jumped into the air.

“I feel much better.” Feral says, seeming to at last relax a fair bit.

I looked around, making sure everyone wasn't caught in the blast. With a nod, I brought out my Ocarina, summoning the green dragonzard.

“It's getting late, and that blast could have been seen from the other side of the world. Climb on and we'll figure everything out after we have a decent roof over our heads.”

“Sure, sure… uhm. Is Flandre drunk?” The lazier clone says with a point. “What is she doing, teething?”

“I plead the fifth.” I say with a raised and flat hand. I climbed up to the head of my mechanical marvel, ushering everyone up while also avoiding Ammy's disapproving death glare. The clones kept their distance from the original Flandre, who was giggling a bit again.

“Nee-chan, ride with me. I don't want you falling off!” I called to the original. She giggles before floating over to me and sitting down onto my lap.

I took a quick look back, making sure everyone was on and hanging onto something. With two taps, steam puffed out of the side of the dragonzard as it began to rise and fly.

“Next stop, Ponyville! When this baby hits eighty eight miles per hour… well, I'd probably be disobeying the speed limit.” With a smooth lurch, the metal serpent began it's way back home.

Flandre while still on my lap had her arm extended, giggling some more again.

Things went by smoothly, the wind whipping at my face, the night air was sweet and relaxing, and the approaching airship tried to flag us down… Wait...

“This is Equestrian airspace! Land at once by order of Princess Celestia!”

Well… that didn't last long. I tapped the dragon head and brought up a megaphone.

“How bout no! By order of my left foot!” I yelled in retort.

The wooden ship simply hovered next to us until the guy at the other end started barking.

“You had your chance! Deploy all Black Knights, capture the princesses, kill the rest!”

“Oh find me in the-we’ve been had! All hands, prepare for contact!” I brought my dragon to halt and pulled out a holy hand grenade.

“Lethal force authorized.”

Several pegasus variant knights began to shoot out of the ship, some began tossing lances, others decided to bumrush.

I replied in kind, pulling the pin off my bomb and throwing it dead center of the opposing ship… only for the wood to give way to the same blackened metal of the Knights.

“That's not good... girls! Scatter!”

The clones instead started to attack, pentagrams forming behind them as they charged their magic. “Yeah, like hell.” The lazier one says.

“That's actually exactly what I meant!” I said as I whipped out the Silver Bullet Express. “Cadence, cover Fury and Whimsy, I'll watch Lethargy and Cheer!”

“Wait? Which ones which!?” She calls.

“Check their fighting styles!” The chaingun in my grasp made it's rounds as I began to pepper the flying knights with controlled shots.

The clones did the same magically, though less controlled and more bullet helly.

As powerful as Flan was, I was hoping the Black Knight metal would fall to her magic...but even shot head on, the cursed suits still shined as if they were never even worn.

“Those monsters shells can't be breached! Aim for their visors and mouths!” Not even seconds after uttering this, a hatch in the opposing ship had opened, revealing a large shining blue crystal with a strange rune engraved into it.

The stone charged and released a massive ball of plasma. With a stomp, the dragonzard lurched downwards, narrowly dodging the shot.

“Fucking hell… it's like fighting the Gesselschaft all over again!!”

“Surrender now you freaks. Your deaths will be quick!” Oh that voice was pissing me off now…

“Or… I break your eye!” Feral states, and the clone summoned those strange crystals. She shattered hers and a Black Knight flailed as it glowed red. “Absolute Annihilation is our speciality!” After a while, the Knight had imploded in a spark of red light. Not even the armor or soul remained.

“Haha! Keep doing that! I am so sick and tired of those mindless zombies!” I cheered. “Omni-Systems, play track : Fokkerwolf.”

[Now playing MegaMan Legends: Fokkerwolf]

“Psh, not OWEN was her? But whatever.’ Anger says as she and other started to kill off the rest of the knights. “I see your eye… now its in my hand~!” She crushes it. “Bye bye, freak!”

“I like ‘Septette for a Dead Princess’ better.” Lazy says while killing off another.

“Isn’t that our sister’s song?” Feral asked.

“I like ‘Get in the Ring!” Joy says.

“You would.” The rest of the clones replied, but they all had a distinctive blush on their faces.

“Oh come on!” I yelled. “Everyone knows Chinese Gate Keeper Girl is the best!” The passengers still on the dragonzard gave all of us incredibly strange looks.

“That said... Omni-Systems… Night of Nights.”

[Now playing Audio Track: Night of Nights]

With a kick, the dragonzard barreled around and under the airship, several fireballs uncovering more black metal.

“Sweet Celestia, what are you monsters!? That metal is supposed to be magic proof!” The offending pilot yelled.

“Fury! Destruction Diamond!” I called out to Anger as I held out the Destruction Diamond.

“Awww!” Feral says as Anger grabs it and already starts to activate it.

“Aim for that ship…” I exclaimed with no remorse.

“Go to hell!” Anger yells at the ship, aiming directly at it.

At first... nothing happened… at least until several glass eyes began to float aimlessly.

“Pretty!” The original says as she and the others reach out their hands and start gathering the eyes.

“Break it.”

The very air had filled with the sound of a reverberating SHATTER.

The ship began to convulse, the pilot started to scream as if his insides were being torn out of him from the inside out.

“Oh crap… FALL BACK!!!” I kicked my dragon again, sending it barrelling down and away from the eventual event horizon.

“Waah~?” Flandre yelps, holding onto my arm with out of a fear reflex.

The sky was once again painted red as a grand explosion rocked the world. And of course I payed it no mind as was customary of all great post battle explosions.

“WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE GREAT GODDESS FAUST WAS THAT!!??” I heard Shiny yell, his face looking directly at the explosion.

“God DAMNIT Armor! You weren't supposed to look at the explosion!!”

Feral and anger were cheering and looking directly at the explosion.

“Mother of! It's cool… nah nah… it's aight…”

I just huffed… not even caring… it didn't bug me… it didn't bug me… It bugged me. It bugged me a lot.

“What… was all that! What were those things!? What just happened!?” I heard Shining scream in utter terror.

“Slap him!” A satisfying 'ow’ resounded, from the air.

“Thank you… we’ll talk once we're home free…”

Thankfully, that dog fight brought us just that much closer to Ponyville, an entire crowd having formed, some even had telescopes and binoculars.

“Oh good…” I eyed the crowd, Bon Bon front and center as we landed.

“Hero! You've got a lot of nerve attacking a royal airship! And where are the survivors!? You didn't…” Her face paled before becoming riddled with anger. “You monster! By order of the Monster Hunter's, I'm bringing you in!”

The mare leveled a crossbow at me, a dragon head adorning the bow.

“Would you believe it if I said they attacked us first!?” Luna asked with a raised hoof.

The mare only nocked back an arrow, no doubt aiming for my heart.

“Would you believe it if I said it?” Cadence dropped from the dragon with a heavy stomp, walking up to the now surprised agent. “Princess Cadenza, otherwise known as Miss Trust.”

Bon Bon’s eyes went wide! Terror began to grip her. “I-I-I don't… know what you're talking about your hignes-”

“And the only thing that brings me back is Love~” Cadence sang as the rest of us got off the ride, said ride fading away to nothing.

“You can't be… but…” We all sort of just walked/floated past her.

“Go on home folks... nothing to see here…” I made my way to my home, casually looking up. “Anybody want ice cream?” I ask the group.

“Me!” All of the Flandres yell, raising a hand each.

“Me too please.” Ammy states, raising a paw.

“PINKS! I SMELL YOU FOLLOWING US!”

From atop a crystal laden rooftop did Pinkie Pie rise. A pencil on her ear and a notepad in her hoof.

“Flavors? Flavors?” I asked, pointing at everyone.

“Mint chocolate?” Luna asked more than said.

“Cookie dough.” Cadence and Shining said in tandem.

“God Shiny, your such a chick.” I say in a valley girl accent.

“Strawberry!” Feral and Anger says.

“Vanilla.” Lazy says.

“Sherbert!” Joy says.

“Mint~” The original says.

“I’d like sherbert as well please.” Ammy says, trying to hide her drooling.

“Aight… two mint, three cookie dough, two sherbert, one vanilla and two strawberry! You got all that Pinks!”

The confectionaire extraordinaire lifts her note pad and salutes, rushing away in a plume of pink dust.

“Come on…” I say as I continued my slumped march.

“Who's the third cookie dough for?” Cadence asked me, giving me a suspicious smile.

“What, it's a good flavor.” I replied with a bit of sass.

“Ice cream, ice cream!” Joy would, well, joyfully, cry out over and over pretty much bouncing.