Shellshocked

E.D.F688 stories ·126 members

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Comments ( 14 )

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Agent-G

Agent-G #1 · Jan 3rd, 2016 · 6 · · "We deeply regret to inform you..." ·

You really need someone to look over your stuff before posting, you constantly are missing either commas or periods. Plus you either forget to capitalize some words and even names or you capitalize words that shouldn't be. You also misspell a few things such as machine gun, that's two words not one.

The chapters are a too short given how you just rush through it without much detail and jump around so much as well.

grievousrommel

grievousrommel #2 · Jan 3rd, 2016 · 1 · 3 · "We deeply regret to inform you..." ·

Can't wait to see where this goes.

Americanwastelander

Americanwastelander #3 · Jan 3rd, 2016 · 2 · 3 · "We deeply regret to inform you..." ·

Interesting

Whiskeylullaby

Whiskeylullaby #4 · Jan 3rd, 2016 · 1 · · "We deeply regret to inform you..." ·

6795034 Yeah, It is kind of a rush job, Isn't it? I'll try to do better in the next few chapters. The criticism is definitely appreciated!

reesy111

reesy111 #5 · Jan 4th, 2016 · 1 · 1 · "We deeply regret to inform you..." ·

dude this is such an amazing story! I noticed that a lot of people disliked this story. please don't let that diminish your spirits please continue with your story at your own pace.

AppleBandit