- Member Since 17th Jan, 2015
- offline last seen March 14th
Whiskeylullaby
A knight in Shining Armor has never had his metal truly tested.
Whiskeylullaby
Joined 17th Jan, 2015 ·
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I honestly have nothing bad to say. Keep up the good work!
Starside445 Thanks. Already working o the next chapter. I still Expect you and anybody else who likes this to call me out though. keep me on my toes (or hooves for that matter).
5714515 Awesome man! Keep it up! Will this be a herd fic?
This seems interesting, but I'm curious as to how the girls met Mohave or ended up in his world.
we'll get to the meeting in flashbacks. and I don't know about making it a herd fic but there will be anime-esque sexual tension. something big next chapter though.
Anypony need a tissue?
5716676 ...... (sniffle) I do......
>>StarSide445 *provides tissue, a hug, and a muffin.* Don't worry, it'll take a lot more'n that to keep carter down. on Another note, I'd like help choosing a Pony name for Carter. help him keep a low profile.
5714614 y'know what. Time for my daily dose of fuggitall, it's gonna be a herd fic. hilarity will ensue, stay tuned.
5720515 Thanks.
Desmond Lockhart and Dean Domino for best ghouls.
5724526 Roger that commissar! Muffin? It's Blueberry!
Found Carter's Theme.
. if you can think of a better one for our courier friend, please don't hesitate. also, like I always say, tell me how to make the story better. Be cruel if you have to. I mean, a hundred people have looked at this story already, and I wanna do my best to give them what they (and by extension you) want. Seriously though, Carter needs a pony name. Orders of the princesses, and I can't think of one that doesn't sound stupid. Aegis wander? Yeah right.
You got my thumbs up with two words "Applejack" and "Brush Gun".
Fyi ever feel a similarity tween her and Sunny Smiles? Just sayin.
5729295 Figured a cowgirl needed a lever action, and a tough cowgirl needs a bigger one. Oh, and yeah. I did see a similarity.
5725041 I think nuclear by Mike Oldfield would work good as the theme song because the world has already been burned in nuclear Fire.
Great chapter.
5732473 fuck bro, when you're right you're right I guess. Though, I do wish for something more....Western/cowboy-like.
This may not be profound or ground breaking but it's a fun read. Keep going.
5734730 That's what I'm going for. I Don't expect to be the next Tolkien or Bradbury, just wanna have fun.
5721375 Awesome!
I really liked how Carter was introduced to Pinkie...and how AJ dealt with the situation.
Wait, hadn't Carter already met RD back at hospital?
5757498 .....Sheeit......welp. time for some editing. thanks for the catch.
5751203 I agree...
This chapter was great. I found it hilarious the way all the Apples shipped AJ and Carter and how they caught them together. Now, O wonder how Carter will deal with the herd system. Great job with the chapter
I love this story you do a good job. Does carter have a crush on aj?
5761024 You'll just have ta wait and see. Mwahahahaha!
Hit you with my best shot? Ok.
I'm begging you get your caps lock fixed!!!
At some points you capitalize words seemingly at random, as a grammar nazi it unnerving.
Character names are ALWAYS capitalized as are place names. So is 'I' as in "I'm", "I'd", and of, course "I".
Also is Carter gonna turn back human/ return to the Mojave? Cause if not have him address himself as "Courier Shield", or just "Courier" the it's not a wild departure for him to change his name. Frankly, keeping up the "Carter thing" is just tedious.
When he explains how he lost his leg I half expected him to tell the CMC a tall tale. As a suggestion, I say go with that, if he's with AJ (capitalize both letters) his willingness to "spin a yarn" would be good contrast to her honesty. Now, bear in mind, there is a BIG difference between telling a Tall Tale and lying. A Tall Tale is an obvious exaggeration but the wide eyed youth may yet believe it. I think it would be fun for him to retell apart of his and the girls story through that lense of story telling, as well as sugar coating it for the fillies.
Still, through and through this is a fun read, a little choppy, and more then a bit Gary Stu, but I do enjoy reading it. Take my suggestions or don't, I still enjoy reading this.
PS
Send me a description of "Couriers" appearance, I feel compelled to sketch him and having it all in one place is beneficial.
5762315 HA! exactly what I was looking for. Sorry About the Caps thing, Had a cat and he walked over my keyboard (on my laptop), and pulled up a few keys. Frustrating looking through my work and noticing where a key got stuck. Thanks for giving me a bearing on what needs to be addressed as well. I'd prefer to fix what's wrong with a story so that more people will be able to enjoy it.
5762492 Sounds good!
This story has potential. Only the fact the other four are interested in him will cause obvious maybem. It's the not so obvious that will cause the problems. And how soon until he decides he needs to earn his keep or even begin to desire to go home?
5761024 (Facehoof)
5766849 Don't be in a hurry now, Would you rather have a good, long story, or a short one that goes by too fast?
5780970 long story, defiantly long story.
5780991 Good. Also, PREPARE FOR SHENANIGANS AND FEELS! THERE WILL BE MANY.
Loved the song and the teasing AJ and Rarity gave to Shield.
That poor guy, if he was smart he would run now.
5792283 Unfortunately for him, even at his best he couldn't outrun Applejack. more shenanigans to come
5793021 outrun Applejack, she's just the first!
Always was a queen fan. Nice lil chapter here
Steal a March? Never heard that expression before I can guess what it means but where did it come from?
5793815 I read too much manga. It's actually from several popular "Harem" manga.
So.................he goes from a wasteland surviving badass to a weak cripple? You have no idea how much that pisses me off.
Great chapter.
5810335 Na. Magic is just cheating. And he doesn't have his guns. he'd have whipped the guy if he hadn't telekinetically floated him.
Fun! No other ship isbetter for Pinkie than Cheese, except for maybe Berry Bubble
5810594 One slam and he's done for the count.
5815084 he wasn't down. He was just distracted by the very surreal sight of his enemy getting bitch-slapped by a rubber chicken.
Thumbs up just for the muffin through the window.
Sorry I listen to country all the time. It'll take more than one sad song to make my manly tears come out.