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Gryphon Pride

Deep in the Gryphon Kingdom there is quite a fun old bird by the name of Thaumic Field. He is a scholar who is not quite known for success but is more than popular for all the idiotic ideas he's had over the years. Deadset on controlling his magic imbalance he sets off on a quest with his grandson to obtain the final component for his 'Wand'.

Chapters (2)

1 Prologue · 10th Jul 2015 · 1,280 words
1,280
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2 Like Father Like S....Daughter · 11th Jul 2015 · 1,410 words
1,410
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Comments ( 4 )

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birdyluv0

birdyluv0 #1 · Jul 11th, 2015 · 1 · · 2 Like Father Like S....Daughter ·

*slaps this on tracking list*

Wacky

Wacky #2 · Jul 12th, 2015 · · · 1 Prologue ·

The spry Gryphon will then have to locate Blackbird's map within her hoard and bring it back without losing the dead pirates secrets.

Think you meant either, "dead pirate's secrets" or, "dead pirates' secrets" if it were plural.

Also, I'd recommend some paragraph breaks (a few of them were sitting one atop another). Plus, I'd have put the letter in italic for a better break in the story.

Love what I'm reading thus far!

Wacky

Wacky #3 · Jul 12th, 2015 · · · 2 Like Father Like S....Daughter ·

Not bad at all for being written on a phone, but when you get a chance, please, put in some paragraph breaks.

ThatOneGuyWhoIs

ThatOneGuyWhoIs #4 · Jul 12th, 2015 · · · 2 Like Father Like S....Daughter ·

Hello Commenters!

(Oooh..... Italics, how suave.)

Anyway, I thank each and every one of you for reading and supporting my story. If any of you have suggestions or just general tips, go ahead and let me know.

Doctor out!