Chapter 1 - How I Came To Be, part 2/2
My name is Nightfall. I’m a regular pony living in the outskirts of Ponyville with my family, consisting of my daughter, Fizzy Zephyr, and my wife, Lightning Spark.
Fizzy is a very playful and smart filly pegasus who currently is on some quest with her friends, who call themselves the Cutie Mark Crusaders, to find their cutie marks. I keep telling her that everything comes with time, but she is too young to understand.
Though that she is a pegasus, she is really keen on magic, and enjoys to help me with my spells, while her mother enjoys fillies. She's even part of the Wonderbolts program for gifted pegasi fillies, where she trains them, so that one day they can become as good, or even better, than the current ones. She also likes traveling and competitions. She is a caring mother and a kind wife.
As for me, I like, no, I love books. Just the idea of reading them makes me excited. Also, I like destructive magic, and enjoy creating new kinds of magic. Even though that I fail flawlessly at that, I won’t give up on trying. Also I don’t know why, but I enjoy working at night; that’s when my magic is the strongest. Even though Spark doesn’t really like it, I can’t help myself.
Frozen Nova is one of my friends. He is a unicorn which I spend my early years with. He comes from far land known as Chillston where the temperature are really low, but it seems he has got somehow special ability that makes the cold like a warm day.
He told me that his grandfather made a spell that allows ponies to sustain cold temperatures. Unfortunately, the spell was lost, and the only trace of this kind of magic goes through Nova and his family's blood.
One thing that connects us our passion for magic though he doesn’t like books and prefers to learn the magic trough improvised practice he still manages to recreate some of his ancestors great frost magics.
We both learn from each other and share the knowledge of spells, though I got a few other old friends which may not remember me I enjoy the company of Nova.
Ehh you don’t have time for making new friendships when you got so many lovely books.
As to how I came to be like this with my family and friends, that is a longer story but I will try to shorten it.
When I was a little colt unicorn, I enjoyed running around town with my friends, but as time went on, my dad, a professor in Canterlot's magic school, introduced me to magic trough books. That faithful day, I discovered my passion towards magic. As years passed, I got myself into more books, and they kept on increasing with every year lowering the time I had to spend with my friend’s. Eventually, they left me because I was too eager to master magic.
But, luckily, I met a unicorn just like me - though he was always the center of attention when the subject of magic came up. That unicorn was none other than Nova.
We shared the same interests towards magic. We even got ourselves into destructive magic - not sure how that happened (we both just loved blowing stuff up), he never left me like the other friends I had.
We both got our cutie marks on the same day, after practicing destructive magic. The only difference is that I got mine during the night. As we grew up, our goals grew apart. Nova shared that he wanted to create a spell, just like his ancestors, and be remember in time. As for me, I wanted nothing more than to master magic and make my father proud. Well, that was until I met her.
The most beautiful pegasus I had ever seen.
Her name was Lightning Spark, and wow, she loved to fly fast. She was on every single race with the Wonderbolts, and was the kindest mare I have ever met.
I knew she was perfect for me, but every time I gathered courage to ask her to go out with me, I started sweating and messing my tongue - though she found it funny, it was awfully embarrassing for me. She was so beautiful when she smiled. I had no chance. How could I make a mare as beautiful and kind as her to love an egghead like me?
On the other hoof, Nova wasn’t in his right mind. He kept on telling me she liked me, and I still had a chance. Of course, he was friends with her - heck, he was friends with everypony!
One day Nova had a crazy idea: as we stood in the cafeteria of our college, he decided to go to Spark and tell her my feelings towards her. I tried to stop him, but didn’t want to attract unwanted attention, so I just stood there with my cheeks burning from blushing. After a while, Nova went past me and wished me luck.
After a brief moment, Spark came and sat next to me. That was the most embarrassing moment of my life. I could barely keep my heart from jumping out of my chest. We sat there in complete silence. I was blushing so hard that I was sure she could see that clearly. But she didn’t mind. She just sat there and smiled.
She broke the silence with random questions and jokes, which made me feel a little bit more comfortable. As time went, we kept on meeting - I felt like she liked me; I felt like I had some chance with her. I felt like the time to make the most important step was approaching.
One day I invited her on a date at my house. Nova was out - probably on a party or something like that. She came more beautiful than ever. I could have passed out right there, but I had to keep my cool for this to work out. We spend some time laughing and talking as I made the most important step in my life.
I offered her my hoof in marriage.
She gasped in surprise at first, but then she yelled "YES!" I was so happy that this worked out, and most importantly, that I had won the mare of my life.
The marriage was a typical one - full of friends and family members, both mine and Sparks (though my friends were consisted of Nova, to whom I will be ever grateful for what he had done for me). Spark and I lived with Nova until we chose to move out and buy our own home - a beautiful two story house just outside Ponyville. Not much later, Fizzy was born, and we formed the family we have today. Even though we had our fights and misunderstandings, we also had sweet and happy moments, which make me the happiest pony alive to have such a great family.
"Indeed it does," Nightfall mumbled to himself as he was in his room during midnight. "I hope Fizzy continues the origins when she grows up" he said as he closed the big book he was writing in. On the cover there was a big title stating Night Spark Origins.
A thought went through his mind "I might get hungry," he mumbled. "Meh... I've got some sandwiches in the fridge, as long as somepony doesn’t come at night while being hungry, I'll be fine." "Time for some books" the stallion giggled as he sat at his desk and started reading some lovely books,
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- InsertAuthorHere · 28k words · 776 12 · 13k views
- FlimFlamBros. · 27k words · 645 18 · 7.4k views
- Yoni · 37k words · 1,541 75 · 24k views
- Chaotic Note · 9.2k words · 465 27 · 6k views
- RaptorJesus · 28k words · 193 8 · 6.2k views
- TheIronPone035 · 87k words · 411 25 · 9.2k views
- spideremblembrony · 14k words · 72 1 · 2.5k views
- Sketchy Changeling · 23k words · 259 17 · 5.8k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.117 seconds
Total duration
963 users online
555,870 hits today, 2,364,530 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
6096096 Creepy mare's voice...
"Why are all the speaking parts like this?"
6118855 Its because im new to this and couldnt make bether one
Got any suggestion how to improve it
6120844 "Normally speech is written like this."
The following is not standard, but I've seen it done.
"If someone's speaking with a deep or dark voice, I've seen them write like this. This can also be done when words are being spoken particularly LOUDLY!"
"If someone has a strange speaking voice (like Queen Chrysalis), their voice might be written like this. Or words are being emphasized in some other way."
6121160 Thanks I fixed them
And will change the creepy mare voice to a normal mare voice
Also I got it proof read and OH DEAR there is lots to be fixed here
6121172 good deal.
6121172
I'm on it.
Dont mind part 2/2 for now, got to fix it first
The Editor had done really well on this one, nevertheless a nice story.
It isn't the best but it sure isn't the worst.
Hope this becomes something (I love slice of life fics
)
6121911 Indeed he had
And I'm really thankful for that
6121911
Gee, thanks mate!
Chapter 1 - part 2/2 is now fixed
Those first two , aren't needed.
Should a 'to' come after that?
There is no need for the 'apparently'.
Since it's a new voice talking, it should be on a different line.
There is no ending (!,.,?) after "Show yourself".
Sent, not send.
Should end sentence with ?
What is the " doing there?
Should end with a full stop.
After mare, there doesn't need to be a and. But of course, then the channeled a powerful spell part wouldn't make sense so idk what to do.
Why was that repeated twice?
No ending to the sentence.
No ending to the sentence, and there should be a comma after exactly.
No comma needed.
The mare's sentence should be on another line.
No comma needed.
No comma needed again.
Should end with a full stop.
Should be:
Noises should end with a full stop, he is the front of a new sentence so it should be capitals.
Capital for new sentence, and new line for the filly's voice, as well as a full stop after tone.
Okay, I'm not going to edit that much anymore, since this comment would be way too long. But I would like to say despite what I've said I like this story. Just one thing though, most sentences don't seem to end with full stops, or they end with commas that aren't needed. I'm looking forward to reading more of your stories!
6490021 Thank you very much for the time you separated to check my story it means a lot to me and I'm glad that you liked the story
6490124
No problemo!