• Member Since 1st Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 14th, 2017

spideremblembrony


Hey, guys, got a story you need reviewed? Well, feel free to send me a private message with the story you want reviewed and I will give you a review as soon as I can.

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Princess Celestia and Princess Luna just want to have a day off. So they sneak out of the palace for the simple pleasure of just having a day of fun. However, somepony is out to catch them slacking from their responsibilities. Will Celestia and Luna's day of fun be cut short?

Image belongs to NaZoTh

Also, a big huge thank you goes to Troubleshooter (Formerly Fedorasarecool or something like that). For helping me with the proofreading and editing. He had some great ideas that I think put the story in a very good direction. Show him thanks by clicking on the link and following him.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 29 )

Oh, and you found very nice cover art for this story as well. :raritywink:

Tugging at my heartstrings, well played with a nice story. :twilightsmile:

This is so freaking adorable :twilightsmile:

4438045 Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :pinkiehappy:

4438698 no problem. Btw, I think the story's perfect

i felt bad for the general.

4441017 Yeah, admittedly the original idea was that he would accept that he liked the girls, but that was scrapped because it didn't seem to fit the character and felt incredibly forced. (and since I wasn't smart enough to come up with any other way of doing it, this is what we got.)

Dawww, so cute. I love these types of stories! :pinkiehappy:

4450461 Thank you. I enjoyed writing it. :pinkiehappy:

I think this should be an episode :twilightsmile::heart:

4461577 Thank you. That would make my day. :pinkiehappy: My dreams would finally come true. :raritystarry:

4464627 you are welcome

Kinda like 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off' with ponies. I LOVE IT! :pinkiehappy:

4583864 It played a large part of why I wrote the story. :pinkiehappy:

This is one of the most heart warming stories I have ever read. Hats off to you!!! :moustache::moustache::moustache:

4749743 Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :pinkiehappy:

4750309 You should make a few more. You seem to write them really well and I would enjoy more Woona and Tia!!!:yay::pinkiehappy:

4752587 Perhaps I will in the future. :pinkiehappy: I really enjoy exploring their relationship as sisters.

4753362 Same here!!! I look forward to more adorableness...ish...shemur...

This is a great story! Its got a great overall story-line, and you characterized Luna and Celestia really well.
My only complaints are:
Faust's character seemed a little off. she seemed more like Celestia than Faust, and you never really give her anything more than just being a loving mother.
This story was also a little bit long, and it had a lot of scenes that seems like it would be better if they were taken out. you give away some things before they even happen (like general hurricane could have been more surprising if he hadn't encountered starswirl before)
It also has no tags, which isn't really a problem, but i think you could at least put slice of life on there.
My final remark is that it doesn't really have much that would set it apart from other fic. its good, but if you were able to add something more it could be even better.

5206988 Thank you for your words. I appreciate you taking time to review my work. I do see where you stand on the adding something thing. Overall, it really isn't that ... engaging I guess would be the word.

Again, I want to thank you for your assistance with your review.

I don't want to inconvenience you, but since I changed my name your link to my page no longer goes to my homepage. I doubt it'd make a huge difference anymore, but I'm trying to gain a reputation as a proofreader. Could you change it when you have the time?

...GAH!!! Diabetic shock.

This fic is just, ahhhh! I need a moment

*Watches somethign manly*

Ok, I'm back!

This story is a perfectly sweet and adorable bundle of cute. I love how you protrayed Celestia in this fic, while being rambuncious and like a teenager, she saw a lot of th foundationos of what she would eventually grow into. At the same time, we could see the little Luna's soul as it begins to grow and the bond that probaly kept her from growing full on nightmare. We see smome of the lessons on display here that will carry them on later in life.

Also, I think I saw all six elements on display throughout the story. Each one stragnely presented themselves in a believable anbd workable fasion that added somethig to the story.

It also doesn't hurt that this storyt was adorable!!!

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