Evergreen vs. Fillygree - Winner: Evergreen (by Vote)
Lumber and Larceny - by Evergreen's Author
"...And I'll need them by the end of the week, and no later."
Fillygree spared a glance up the unicorn stallion before refocusing on the notepad in front of her. She blew a few strands of her golden mane out of her face and held the sheet of paper up to the light. "So, Mr. Brûlée, in summary, you want six sets of earrings, each one styled after a different species of rhododendron, one set cast in silver and with diamonds in the petals, two others in gold and with sapphires, and the remaining three in electrum and emeralds. You also want a gold brooch in the likeness of a sunflower with one large diamond in its center, a silver tiara ‘with gemstones to mirror a rainbow's many hues', and a set of silver-and-diamond cufflinks. The deadline for these items is this Friday." She cocked an eyebrow. "I have that right?"
"Yes, yes. I believe so," the unicorn adjusted the monocle over his right eye, sniffing slightly. "Is that going to be a problem?"
She set the paper down. “That all depends, Mr. Brûlée. Are you willing to part with three thousand bits?”
The monocle dropped, swinging near his chest on its gilded chain. “What?” he sputtered. “Whatever for?”
“Because I don’t do industrial work. Each piece of mine is designed, cast, and tooled by hoof, and that takes time. Time that you haven’t given me. Time that I’ll have to dedicate exclusively to the production of your order, while halting all my other projects. Time that’ll cost me, and therefore you.”
His mouth opened and closed, rather like a fresh carp, before he harrumphed and said, “And here my associates led me to believe that you were a master craftsmare. It seems you are also a… an economical businessmare.”
She allowed herself a slight smile. “It pays to be both. And flattery will get you nowhere. Three thousand bits is the price.”
His horn glowed, reeling in his monocle and setting it back over his eye. He sniffed again. “It strikes me that I could get all of that for half that price in the Upper Ward."
Nodding, she said, "You could certainly go to a unicorn jeweler. And yes, you might be able to haggle the price down a bit or two, but I guarantee none of them will meet that deadline for that price, and certainly not for the level of quality I will provide.” She swept a hoof wide, across the many crystal cases which housed her wares. “You saw as much from what’s on display. If price is really that important, you might have another look around the shelves.”
He glanced around, his eyes reflecting the shining brooches, gilded necklaces, and brilliant stones of the jewelry resting on their silken displays around the shop. "No, they must be custom-made. Unique. Otherwise, what is the point?" He breathed a sigh. "Very well, Ms. Fillygree, we have ourselves a contract."
“Indeed we do.” She opened a drawer, pulled out a ready-made document, wet her quill, and began filling in the gaps. “By signing this paper, you agree to pay me three-thousand bits upon delivery of the listed items, which is to be completed no later than noon on Friday, Fructidor 18th, else I will forfeit one-third of the asking price.” She slid the sheet across the table to him.
Wordlessly, he lit his horn and took up the quill, his eyes scanning over the paper. She could see the corners of his jaw working behind his pursed lips.
“It’s economical,” she said, in answer to his unspoken statement.
He spared her a glance, then scrawled the quill across the bottom of the document. "I shall return on Friday, then. I look forward to seeing the pieces completed. All of them."
“They may still be a little hot from the forge, but they'll be ready."
He gave her one sharp nod, placed a large satin top hat upon his head, and without another word, swept from the shop. A small silver bell above the door chimed once, then twice, at his passing.
Fillygree watched him wander up the street. It was only when he'd disappeared around the corner that she muttered, "Nitwit."
Fussy unicorns were one thing; she could deal with those. Fussy unicorns with outrageous demands were another, but still manageable. And then there were fussy unicorns with less appreciation for art than an iconoclastic slug.
She heaved a sigh, letting it hiss between her teeth. Still, bits were bits, and this was one job she couldn’t let slip by. Reaching into her desk once more, she produced a fresh notepad, and with pencil in mouth, began blackening it with notes.
Materials. Her silver stock would be sufficient, but she'd need to see about an ingot of gold. No big deal there; old Wellsmith ought to cut her a deal on that. The big thing would be gems. She had no sapphires to speak of, and those diamonds were going to be a hassle to come by, and thus expensive.
Time. Five hours per set of earrings—that was two days worth of labor. The brooch would be another day, the tiara a day and a half, and the cufflinks she could do whenever. She’d be cutting it tight, but it was doable. She’d just have to keep her forge running nonstop throughout the week.
Problem. She was already low on coal, and with the prices currently through the roof thanks to the new express rail gobbling up the city’s reserves, she'd have to find an alternative. She'd have to switch to wood.
Further problem. She set her pencil aside, looking out the window at the bustling streets of Canterlot’s Middle Ward—at its cobblestone streets, hard, white walls, and crowds of milling aristocrats.
Where was she going to find wood in Canterlot?
“Wood?” The lieutenant raised one thick, orange eyebrow. “That’s what this is about? Wood?”
Across the gilded desk, Evergreen bobbed her head, once. “That’s aboot it, yah.”
The lieutenant looked at her, his expression as hard and stony as the cliff Canterlot was attached to. “And because of this, you expect me to dedicate a number of my soldiers, who are currently overworked with policing the city, to this investigation?”
She bobbed her head again. “If it’s not too much trouble, sir.”
He kept staring at her. He blinked, opened his mouth, and closed it again. “Right. My apologies, Sergeant Evergreen, but I’m afraid the Royal Guard won’t be able to assist the Rangers today.”
Once more, her head mimicked a seesaw. “Yah, that’s aboot what I figured. Silly little mare like me comes flyin’ into your jurisdiction, starts making a hubbub all of a’ sudden, I couldn’t expect you to uproot yourself all at once.”
The lieutenant pursed his lips, then said, “Again, my apologies. I can point you toward the gate records, though. Perhaps you will find a lead there.”
He swept past her, heading out the door. She didn’t follow. Instead, she frowned, breathing a sigh. It was only for a moment, just a flicker, and when she spun around to follow him, her expression was composed once more.
It was, indeed, what she’d expected. No established law enforcement agency liked somepony else muscling in on their turf. Especially not big-city law enforcement, who would always view the “provincials” as glorified park rangers.
She was no mere ranger, though. She was a Ranger, and a Ranger always gets her mark.
The lieutenant led her to a forest of file cabinets, passed her off to a bored-looking office clerk, and she dove into the records. The past few weeks had seen a dozen large-scale shipments of firewood. Most of it was from the northeast, around Hollow Shades, but there were a few wagon-loads that had come from the Unicorn Range. One of them came in a few days ago.
That was what she was looking for. Of course, where the wood had gone afterwards, there was no telling. She’d have to start canvassing local businesses. That wasn’t going to be pleasant. If local law enforcement wasn’t keen on her investigation, she doubted most businessponies would be, either.
Still, there were no two ways about it. She had to find that shipment of wood. Somewhere, anywhere.
Because if she didn't, there would be a lot of trouble.
"Hi. I need eighty pounds of wood on the double."
The grey-green earth pony looked at her like a baker finding his souffle deflated. "You plannin’ on building a house, Miss? Lumber yard's just up that way."
"I'm aware of that. I need firewood for my forge."
He looked at her, a thoughtful frown on his face. "You're that mare who runs the jewelry store down by the falls, yeah?"
"Yes. Fillygree's the name.” She pointed a hoof back at the door. “And you’re Shady Bough, yes? Woodcutter? Who delivers?”
He kept looking at her, his eyes scanning. "Well, let's see, here. I've got a few crates I could part with. That'll come to about two hundred bits. That alright with you?"
"That's fine. How soon can you have it delivered to my shop?"
He tapped his chin. "For you, Miss, I'll have it up and ready in the hour. Can you pay up front?"
"Yes. I’m very busy today, so if I’m not in, simply leave the shipment behind the shop."
A wide grin made its way over his face. “Oh, I’ll deliver it on time, I promise you that.”
Fillygree paid him his asked price, and all but fled his dusty shop. It was good to be out of the place; it smelled of rot. Or maybe that was just him.
Whatever. She had business to attend to elsewhere. Checking off a tick on her list, she made her way toward the market. Maybe she’d be able to talk the gem sellers into a good deal.
Twelve businesses, twelve awkward conversations. Evergreen had spent the last several hours flying all throughout Canterlot, and as expected, not a one was particularly happy to see her. Next stop, the jewelry store. She pushed the door open with a gentle touch, as though the glass might fracture under her hoof. A silver bell rang once as she stepped inside.
"Hallo?" she called. "Anypony in?"
No answer. She cupped a hoof around her mouth and called again. "Hallo!"
There was a clattering sound from behind the counter, a curse or two, and then a blue-coated mare pushed her way through the door, looking hot and sweaty. She had a small tool of some sort tucked behind her ear.
"This is what I stopped work for?” she said. “Who are you?"
Evergreen braced herself. "Sergeant Evergreen, Royal Equestrian Rangers. I assume you’re Ms. Fillygree?”
“Yes…?”
“Well, Miss, I've got some quick questions."
She shook her head. “Look, I’m sure they’re important, but I’ve got too much to do to waste any time here.”
“Just real quick. There may be a timberwolf loose in Canterlot."
Silence reigned for a few long seconds, before Fillygree said, "A what?"
"Don't tell me you don't know aboot timberwolves? Big, scary dogs made a' sticks and logs?"
"No, I've no idea what you're talking about. And I certainly don't see what it has to do with me."
"Have you bought any wood recently?"
"Yes, I have. Why would that matter at all?"
"Because a timberwolf grows out of a sickness in the wood. If you've got enough sick wood in one place, well..."
There was a sudden rumbling, and a howl like an autumn wind. The ceiling exploded inward as a massive wooden paw cleaved through the wood and clay like tissue. Through the cloud of dust, a pair of glowing yellow eyes shone, above a maw of jagged wooden fangs.
"What the hay is that?!"
"Timberwolf! Come on!" She wrapped a hoof around Fillygree’s shoulders, pulling her toward the door. They burst onto the street, and the timberwolf pursued, snarling and gnashing its hideous teeth.
Ponies walking the streets quickly turned to running them as the beast barreled up the walk, upending market stalls and sending benches and chairs flying. Evergreen dragged Fillygree into an alley, and the monster thundered past, eagerly pursuing its new and screaming prey.
Straightening up, Evergreen said, "Stay here, Miss."
“What are you going to do?” she breathed.
She shrugged. “My job, eh?” With a determined frown, Evergreen took to wing and flew after it.
Fillygree watched her go, her mind spinning end over end. And here she thought she’d planned for everything today. But there wasn’t really any way to plan for giant log monsters whose breath smelled like old rot.
Her thoughts came to a screeching halt. She'd smelled that scent before. On a certain pony. A certain pony who knew exactly where her shop was, and everything it contained.
“Forest for the trees,” she mumbled, and broke into a gallop.
"Hey! Come on, ya big hoser! Follow me!"
That certainly riled him up. With another roar, the timberwolf charged after her, claws rending the cobblestone. She darted ahead, winding and weaving her way toward her objective: the nearby falls, where the river ran fast and heavy before falling off the mountainside.
Slowing her pace, she readied her tools: a small pouch of magnesium filings, a curved piece of black steel, and a well-used chip of flint. She’d intended to use them on the infected timber once she’d found it. Nice that they were still going to serve that purpose, in a sense.
She spread her wings wide, braking and causing the timberwolf to overshoot. It skidded to a halt, and she seized her chance, swooping in and finding purchase on its back. Dry moss crackled under her hooves as she dumped the shavings out, and ground them into the creases of the bark.
The timberwolf bucked and shook, trying to dislodge her. She wrapped her limbs around its trunk, and clenching the steel in her teeth, and struck at it with the flint. Sparks shot from her mouth like she was a feathery dragon, and ignited the shavings. Casting herself off, she flapped her wings hard and fast. The rush of air swept over the embers, and the bark caught fire.
Suddenly the timberwolf didn’t feel much like wreaking havoc.
Yelping and hollering, the now-flaming timberwolf threw itself into the river. The current quickly grabbed hold of it, and despite its furious doggy-paddling, carried it downstream until it disappeared over the edge of the great falls. Evergreen might have heard a howl echo over the edge, but she couldn’t be sure.
Instead, she heaved a sigh, doffed her hat, and wiped the sweat from her brow.
“Sergeant Evergreen!”
Turning, she spied the lieutenant and a couple of his guards sprinting over. They skidded to a halt in front of her, eyes wide and jaws agape. “What… What the...”
She held up a hoof. “You’ll want to send some pegasi down the mountain after it. Even waterlogged, a timberwolf can still piece himself back together, eh?”
He blinked. “O-of course. Right away.” With a look to one of his compatriots, and receiving a nod in response, he turned back to her. “Well, forgive me for not taking your investigation more seriously.” He drew himself up, finally back to his steely self. “Where did that thing even come from?”
“It came from a…” she trailed off.
“Sergeant?”
She whirled around, looking up the street. “It came from a jeweler’s.”
Her shop looked even worse off now that she had the time to notice. The entire west wall was all but torn away, her forge crushed, and the roof caved in. Still, the silver bell above the door rang high and clear as she entered.
The peal alerted the grey-green stallion who was already in the shop. The large burlap sack in the crook of his foreleg tinkled and chimed as he spun to face her. Something twinkled in the frog of his hoof—a pair of silver earrings. His expression was somewhere between
“Shady Bough, what are you doing?”
His eyes flicked to the sack, then to the earrings resting in his hoof, then back to her. Without breaking her gaze, he dropped the things into the bag with a clink. “Uhhhh…” he said. “It’s obvious, in’nt?”
She had to concede that, yes, it was. “So, is this just seizing an opportunity, or did you really plan all of this?”
A wolfish smile spread across his face. “Nopony ever suspects the woodcutter. He’s always the one who saves the village from the monster. But why go to all that trouble when you can just take advantage of the chaos the monster causes?”
“And the ponies who get hurt in that chaos?”
“This is Canterlot. You really think anypony around here can’t afford a doctor or two?”
Her teeth clenched; her next breath was a hiss. “You realize how stupid this plan is, don’t you?”
He shrugged. “I had hoped the thing would keep you out of the shop for longer, but monsters are notoriously unreliable. Still, I got plenty of time to knock you over the head and make my getaway.”
She tensed. “What about witnesses?”
“It’ll be my word against yours. And do you really think anypony is going to believe I dreamt up this whole thing?” His face drooped into his signature expression. “Me? Simple ol’ Shady? I don’t reckon I could even make a plan for supper.” His grin returned. “Like I said, nopony ever suspects the woodcutter.”
“And all this for some bits?”
“Broken eggs make an omelet. That’s how this game is played. Maybe you’re satisfied with just being a pawn in it, but I’m gonna move up in the world.”
She smiled. “You really ought to play chess some time. Pawns are just there to hold your opponent in place.” Her eyes slowly swept upward, toward the hole in the ceiling. “And that’s when the knight moves in.”
His brow furrowed in confusion. That was all he had time for—a green hoof reached down and tapped him on the head. Startled, he looked up; his nose brushed the brim of a tan campaign hat worn by a red-clad figure hovering just above.
“Hallo there,” said Evergreen. “Royal Equestrian Rangers. You’re under arrest.”
Two hours later, the streets were relatively clear. They’d taken Shady Bough away, along with her stolen goods. A guard lieutenant assured her that as “evidence”, they’d be kept under tight security. Fillygree had shrugged and decided to make use of the impromptu banking service.
Goodness knows her shop was no longer secure. She looked up at the hole in the ceiling, through which the late afternoon sun was shining.
“I’m so sorry aboot all of this.”
Fillygree turned to Evergreen. “No worries. It’d be one thing if the place was wrecked and I lost all the pieces. I still have enough that I can sell to get by, at least until I can rebuild the forge.”
“By yourself?”
“Did it once before.” She shrugged. “If anything, I’m the one who should be apologizing for being short with you earlier.”
Evergreen tipped her hat. “No worries. The timberwolf was a lot more ornery than you.”
“I’ve been meaning to ask,” she said, cocking an eyebrow, “is this an ordinary work day for you?”
Evergreen shook her head. “Nah. Usually it involves avalanches, or flash-floods, or somepony lost out in the wilderness.”
“Well, given the stakes here, I’m just amazed they only sent one Ranger.”
“Well, a’ course.” She grinned. “It was just the one timberwolf, eh?”
Fillygree vs. Evergreen - by Fillygree's Author
Snow’d, eh?
A thick bank of clouds approached from the north with all the weight and color of another mountain range. The setting sun painted fire across the boiling cumulus, but the wind that sliced through Evergreen’s uniform told another story. She angled her wings and began a spiral to the ground, where an ice-blue earth pony was fussing with an overstuffed pack in between nervous glances at the sky.
Evergreen touched down on the soft pine needles and straightened her campaign hat. “Why hello there, ma’am. Could you possibly be needing some assistance?”
The mare looked up from her pack and blinked, nervously twisting a lock of blond mane that had escaped her bun. She glanced from the imposing pine forest to the lush grasses that led to the emerald lake, then turned back to the pegasus and said, “You are literally the greenest thing I have ever seen in my life.”
Evergreen giggled and poked at her jade mane with a pine-colored hoof. “Oh, my parents had quite the sense of humor, don’tcha think? Sergeant Evergreen of the Royal Equestrian Rangers, at your service!” She snapped off a quick salute before standing at attention with a grin.
“Well, maybe I could use some assistance with…” The mare looked at the tangle of tent poles and canvas poking out of her bag, then up at the ominous clouds. “Uh, directions to the nearest hotel.”
“Oh, goodness, no. There’s no civilization for a couple day’s hike in any direction. You’re about as deep in the woods as you can get. Go any deeper, and you’re on your way out the other side!” She cut off her laugh when she saw the look on the other mare’s face. Evergreen cleared her throat and straightened her crimson jacket. “What’s your name, miss?”
“Fillygree. If you can point me in the direction of a town, I can make my own way there.”
“I’m afraid not, miss Fillygree. This blizzard is gonna be snowin’ and blowin’ somethin’ fierce. You can’t walk out, not in these conditions. And I don’t think even I could survive out here with what you’ve got in that there pack. Why don’tcha come with me, my cabin’s just over that hill right there.”
Fillygree sighed, then hefted the bag onto her back. “Fine. I suppose a warm cabin does sound nice right about now.”
“THAT is your cabin?” Fillygree asked. She squinted against the snowflakes that drifted out of the whiteness hiding the top of the creaking wooden staircase.
“Yeah buddy,” Evergreen chirped from a few stairs up.
“Your home is on top of a… what is this?”
Evergreen’s eyes traced the stairs as they wound their way around the wooden support beams. “It’s a fire watch tower. It’s where I keep all my things, and it’s where I ride out the worst of the storms, but really, the forest is my home.”
“That’s awfully romantic. You give a lot of stallions that line?”
“Heehee, no,” Evergreen said, trotting up to the first corner. “I don’t get a lot of stallions out this way.” She smiled as she continued up the stairs, mumbling half to herself, “Not a lot of ponies at all, in fact.”
Fillygree stopped at treetop level, panting as she said. “If earth ponies were meant to live in the sky, they’d have been born with wings.”
“Hahahaha—” *snort* “—I think you’re talkin’ about me, eh?” She looked Fillygree over, then pointed a hoof at the mare’s bulging pack. “Why don’tcha leave that right here? You can pick it up on the way back down. I’ve got everything we’ll need.”
Fillygree glared at the pegasus, clearly trying her best to stand up straight while the pack weighed on her spine. “I can handle myself. Thanks.”
Evergreen placed a gentle wing on Fillygree’s shoulder. “Look here, bud. You’re tough, I give ya that, but I don’t think you can make it to the top carrying that pack.”
“I told you,” Fillygree said through gritted teeth as she shrugged off Evergreen’s wing. “I can handle it.” She started up the stairs again, forcing Evergreen to turn around and trot ahead of her.
Evergreen was happy to be moving again, and even happier for the silence. The world was at its most beautiful when snow was falling, in no small part because snow in the air tended to absorb the sounds of the world, leaving her in her own little world of black and white. If she tried hard, she could even ignore the wheezing earth pony who was pretending to be fine. The wooden steps were as cold as the grumbling earth mare but not nearly as icy. Without a warm surface to melt on, the snowflakes simply blew back into the gray sky that now surrounded them on all sides.
The sun had long since disappeared and the moon was surely pouring liquid silver across the top of the cloudscape, but Evergreen couldn’t detect a hint of its light. It was by blind feel and memory that she found her front door and ushered Fillygree inside. Within minutes, a roaring fire was bathing the tiny cabin in its warmth while Fillygree shivered wide-eyed beneath a blanket.
“Soooo,” Fillygree said as Evergreen busied herself over the fire, “Uh, thanks. I would have gotten the tent set up, you know, eventually. But... thanks.”
Evergreen giggled and glanced over her shoulder. “I know these woods can be tough. Even for me, sometimes.”
“So why are you out here?” Fillygree pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders. “Tough living, freak snowstorms, and nopony around for miles.”
Evergreen pulled a pair of mugs off a shelf and glanced back at Fillygree. “Like I said, the forest is my home.”
“Still, though. You don’t exactly seem happy to be here.”
Evergreen stiffened for a moment, slowing the pace of the spoon clinking against the inside of the mug. She tapped the spoon dry, then laid it carefully on the hearth next to a single fork and butter knife. “I'm just not used to entertaining guests, is all.” Scooping up the two mugs in her hooves, she hovered over to the couch and settled next to Fillygree. She held out a steaming mug. “Here. Nothing like a double-double to warm you right up.”
“A what now?”
“Double cream, double sugar.”
“Ah, thanks.” Fillygree took a sip of the nearly-white coffee.
Evergreen slurped at her own mug and smiled, squirming her way deeper into the musty cushions and watching the fire dance. Between the hissing and popping of the burning logs, the whistling wind outside, and the creak of the tower as it swayed in the storm, Evergreen could almost forget that she was sharing the cabin with an overconfident earth pony. Until she started talking again.
“How do you do it?”
Evergreen peered into the steaming brew as if it held the answers to life. “Like, I kinda got used to it, ya know? After a while, it started to seem normal. And now—” she looked up and shrugged “—it's the only way I like my coffee.”
Fillygree looked at her host through bleary eyes and crossed her forelegs over her chest. “How do you make it out here on your own?”
Evergreen shifted her weight on the dusty couch. “Like I said, this is my home.”
“It doesn’t look like a home to me.”
Evergreen's emerald eyes followed Fillygree’s gaze as it traced the bare wooden walls and empty hearth. Even the nightstand was devoid of photographs or mementos. A few utilitarian items had been hoof-carved or cobbled together from baling twine and forest detritus. Plain brown wool blankets on the bed and stacks of canned oats said “government issue” as clearly as if they had been talking. But they hadn’t been talking. Until Fillygree had stumbled in and collapsed shivering on the couch, not a word had been uttered in the cabin for years.
“Like I said,” Evergreen muttered with the hint of a smile playing on her lips, “the forest is my home. This is just a shelter from the storm.”
A sliver of pre-dawn light tickled Evergreen’s eyes while the smell of coffee did the same for her stomach. With a start, she sat up on the couch, letting the blanket slump into a pile on the floor as she spun around. Her bed was made - sloppily, but made. The red flannel pajamas Fillygree had borrowed were resting folded on the foot of the bed. Fillygree’s overstuffed pack was missing, and a map was laid out on the room’s only table.
Evergreen didn’t bother pulling on her crisp red jacket, but took a second to jam the campaign hat over her tangled mane before darting out the door.
Fillygree didn’t turn around, or even flinch, when the door opened. She remained where she stood, draping her forelegs over the railing and staring past the wispy tendrils of forgotten breath into the overcast sky above.
Evergreen leaned on the rail next to her and said, “Just out for a rip, are ya, bud?”
The sun blossomed into the sky, refracting brilliant pink and orange through the snowflakes still making their way to the ground. The air was filled with flashes of diamond fire as one tiny crystal after another managed to catch the sun’s rays. The bottom surface of the clouds briefly resembled a worldwide blanket of cotton candy before the sun rose too high, plunging the world back into a gray twilight.
Fillygree took a deep breath, then spoke without looking back. “I thought I would leave early, get a head start, and hike as far as I could before sundown. I had everything figured out, see?” She motioned toward a pair of snowshoes that were leaning against the side of the cabin. “I even memorized your map.”
“The novelty map of coffee shop locations?”
Fillygree grunted. “Well, that explains a lot.”
“I’m sorry if I was a bit owly last night.” Evergreen shuffled her hooves, then looked at Fillygree and said, “If you don’t mind my asking, how did you end up in the Northwestern Unicorn Range, anyway?”
“It was just supposed to be an overnight hiking trip. Vanderhoof to Waffleton, one night of camping somewhere along the way, then another train ride back to Canterlot.”
“That’s a proper hike. You were planning to spend only one night in the woods?” Evergreen poked the canvas bag still balanced on Fillygree’s back. “How’d that work out for ya?”
“Well, at first I thought I was just hiking slowly. No big deal. I’d just be a day late getting to Waffleton. But I started to get worried around sunset the third day. I thought I’d missed it, so I doubled back.”
Evergreen helped Fillygree lower the pack to the snowy deck. “So, what made you think it was a good idea to run around the woods all by your lonesome?”
“I had it all planned out. Every detail. I knew the train schedules. I memorized all the edible plants in the Unicorn Range. I packed for every contingency. And besides, I wasn’t supposed to be alone, but none of my friends wanted to come. They said the hike was too much.”
“Smart friends,” Evergreen said as she squatted next to the bag and opened the flap, digging around beneath the mangled tent. “What’s this here?”
Fillygree glanced down, then looked back out over the monochrome pines and replied with her chin resting on the guard rail. “Snakebite kit.”
“You sure did pack for everything.” She looked at the jumble of odds and ends still in the bag. “You got a map in there somewhere?”
Fillygree huffed, her breath hanging in the air like an unspoken answer.
“A map kinda seems like a big thing, yeah?”
“I guess I just got caught up in the—”
“The nine different kinds of tweezers?” Evergreen said, waggling an open zippered case.
Fillygree rubbed the back of her neck. “One is for thorns, one’s for bee stings, one—” she flailed her hooves over her head “—Whatever. I thought I’d planned for everything.”
“Then mother nature just came up and gave you a proper cross-check, yeah?”
“Well, I certainly wasn’t planning on running into a blizzard in September.”
Evergreen shrugged. “We’re like the great white north, ya know. We don’t have fancy planned weather like you big city ponies.”
Fillygree rubbed her muzzle with a hoof. “It’s funny, there are legends about spooky places where the clouds move by themselves.”
“Legends?” Evergreen rolled her eyes. “Yeah, you can’t make it on your own out here.”
“But you do. Why can’t I?”
Evergreen shook her head with a smile. “I’m not alone. Not in the woods. You put me back in Vanhoover, surrounded by all those Coasties…” She shivered. “I never felt so alone in my life.”
Fillygree toyed with the end of a strap as she eyed the snow-covered world below. “I think mother nature won this round. I’m not gonna be able to walk through that, am I?”
“No, not for a week or so. Don’t worry, though. We’ve got another good melt before winter hits for sure.” She put a hoof on Fillygree’s shoulder. “Why don’t we go inside, eh?”
Fillygree flicked her tail and huffed, then brushed a swath of snow from the rail before turning around. “Yeah, why don’t we?” She hefted the bag onto her back and followed Evergreen into the cabin. “Say, you don’t happen to have any board games, do you?”
“Ha! I don’t have much use for board games out here.” Evergreen tossed her hat onto the bed and climbed onto the couch.
Fillygree grinned as she began dumping her pack’s contents onto the floor. “Well, it’s a good thing I packed a few travel-size games and a deck of cards.”
Evergreen turned around and leaned over the back of the couch, squinting at Fillygree. “Why would you pack board games for a solo trip into the wilderness?”
“Like I said” —she winked at Evergreen— “I planned for every possibility.”
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Evergreen's Author
I'm afraid I don't have that much to say about this one. Maybe it's the time? Anyway.
On Evergreen's Author's Story
What I liked: Evergreen. I really like her character, I'm not sure why. Is it because she reminds me of Fluttershy? Anyway, this whole deal with her bringing the rough and tumble of the wilds into the city. That was funny. I also liked that there was an actual villain but...
What I didn't like: his plan was pretty flawed if he ever was seen by anyone.
On Fillygree's Author's Story
What I liked: It's a daring move to put Fillygree completely out of her element, and I liked that you did bring up how she plans for specific things, but not for the whole picture.
What I didn't like: We didn't really learn much about Fillygree's main thing, which is the jewelry.
Fillygree's Author
This was a close one, but the latter story wins out for me.
Fillygree's Author
This is a tough decision as both stories are really good. The first story has a well thought out plot, is well paced, and enough misdirection to keep the reader guessing. Overall, I might say that it's a slightly better story than the second entry. However, Fillygree's story explores the characters in a much deeper way. Evergreen's story has Evergreen doing ranger things and Fillygree doing jeweler things; while Fillygree's story also has Evergreen doing ranger things, it also digs into her personality and her motivations for living out in the wilderness as a Ranger. Lines like
not only add humor to the piece, but also highlight her reluctance to open up to a stranger. Although I hate to mess up a potential Redwood vs Evergreen matchup, I have to go with Fillygree in this contest.
Fillygree's Author
This one is really tough. Unlike most close calls, where both stories are similar in almost every way but one is just a little better in one respect, this is one case where both stories do one thing much than the other.
Both stories had good characterization for both OCs, though I'd argue that both authors were better at characterizing each other's character than their own, which may stem from setting their stories in a location that more suited their opponent's OC. However, Evergreen's Author's story is better written in terms of flow and pacing and all those other technical terms that come up in composition, but has almost no interaction between the two characters. Fillygree's Author's Story is not as well-written, and Evergreen's accent starts to get really annoying after a while (as a Canadian, I realize that some people really do sound like that, but it's not necessary to transcribe it so directly), but it had significant, well-written character interactions that also better explored their characters, especially Evergreen's.
In the end, not having any meaningful interaction between the characters is too big of a strike against the first story, and I must side with Fillygree's Author.
Fillygree's Author
I think this was a case where both stories did their own things too well. I wish I could concede something like a 60-40 split as something less than a 1-0 for Fillygree, because Evergreen*'s author did a reasonable job too. The flow and relation between the two characters in FIllygree's story is ultimately superior to that of Evergreen*'s, and I think that's what takes it here.
I think I might need to give this another read in the morning when I figure out who is in what story. Less sleepy and all that. Maybe then I'll change my vote.
Fillygree's author
AUGHHHHHH! This is the toughest decision for me in the competition so far.
Evergreen's story was well written, fun, had the Mountie be a Mountie and the Jeweler be a Jeweler, and I do so want to see more of Evergreen (please don't stop, even after this competition!)
But Fillygree's author really created a three dimensional picture of these ponies. I knew them better, virtues and faults, than I did at the beginning of the story. These weren't caricatures, and for that, I give Fillygree's author the win.
But, 'spèce de chocolatine entre deux tranches de croissant au beurre d'amandes' was this ever a tough call!
Evergreen's Author
EVERGREEN FOREVER!
COVER EVERYTHING IN GREEN!
OH YEAH!
Fillygree's Author
This is a tough call, but I have to give this story to Fillygree. I don't feel like there's enough of Evergreen in Evergreen's story. I remember this was brought up in the first round, true or not. Either way, I didn't feel like there was enough of her here. She felt like a secondary character, to me. Because of that, I couldn't get a good feel for her personality.
Looking at the story, though, it doesn't seem like she is shunned out of the spotlight, so maybe it's the other way around? Maybe she feels like a secondary character because she doesn't have enough personality to feel like a main character? I'unno.
In Fillygree's story, I had a much better feel for each of the characters. I know that Wanderer D took of points for not including Fillygree's jewelry aspect, but being a jeweler isn't part of her personality. You don't go on vacation and not have people recognize your personality. Filigree's personalty felt stronger out of the shop than in the first story, where she was in her shop. Evergreen's personality, too, felt stronger, to me.
Evergreen's Author Vote
I liked both, but the first one wins for me.
Evergreen's Author
Another one of my no-questions, though I don't doubt I'll be the odd one out again for some silly reason. Evergreen's author gave us the most imaginative and carefully-crafted setups I've seen so far in this contest (that I can think of off the top of my head, anyway), and kept me smiling the whole way through. It was great to see Fillygree in the thick of her work and she showed some nice personality dealing with Shady Bough (I don't know why he thought people would believe him over her, though. The guy's as innocent as Count Weirdly). Evergreen was likewise well-portrayed. She was competent just to the point of being impressive and likable, and she was taken exactly as seriously as she ever should be.
Fillygree's story lost my hope about halfway through, when Evergreen said "Like I said, the forest is my home" for the fourth or fifth time. It's just enough of a dip into exploring her character to preclude her having any real comedy, but the author never goes any farther with it than "in the city is where I'm really lonely," which is really just the flipside of "I'm not lonely here." Fillygree herself had no defining features besides packing weirdly and being unprepared for the blizzard, so she might as well be Rarity's boring step-sister.
Plus, Evergreen's author dared to make up a month, unless it's taken from somewhere else. If it is, he or she is willing to take more risks with their identity than I am. (I'm looking at you, Rachis's author! You thought I wouldn't catch Haissan from The Sisters Doo, but I did!)
There does seem to be a missed line in Evergreen's story, though I'm sure other people have already pointed it out:
No. It's one of the finest sandwiches ever to grace a fast food restaurant. I don't even care if this is a Canadian thing, I'll fight this to the death.
(reads other comments)
Oh, look at that. I'm one of like, three people that voted for Evergreen. I'm starting to lose faith in fimfiction-kind.
Evergreen's Author
Evergreen's Author
Worldbuilding felt natural, not forced.
This made me chuckle.
You had a nice ending, and as I've said before, I'm a sucker for heist fics. Good bit of action going on there during the fight, too. I did notice one huge editing error, though:
I also liked the transitions between character POVs--it felt artistically natural.
Fillygree's Author
Bit of purple prose going on, but all's forgiven for this line:
I loved that.
Minor quibble--shouldn't it be a quartet of snowshoes, or a set of snowshoes?
This felt just a bit contrived--both entries did, really, but I felt that Evergreen's author handled it a bit better. And it's a shame, because Fillygree's a great character, and I think that going forward, she would have been a strong contender.
So this is the opposite dilemma from the last pair of stories I voted on . . . I liked both stories, and I liked both characters. There was an interesting contrast between the two entries--one was an action story, and one was an inaction story. Both characters are good, and I think each author did a very good job with the opponent's character. I also find it interesting that both authors took their OC out of her element, and both did it well. Overall, this was a difficult choice to make.
Evergreen's Author
I didn't see a trace of Fillygree's special talent in jewelry anywhere in her own author's entry, and that is a cryin' shame. Evergreen's author definitely handled it better.
Evergreen's Author
I wonder if it's that I'm tired, or that I really did just run into another pair of stories—right after the last—where I have very little to say because very little was done wrong in either?
I'll not stretch this out. Fillygree's author wrote an engaging piece that I could easily have seen myself voting for. Good characterization on Fillygree even without her profession (which in a way makes it even better), good characterization of Evergreen even if she might've gotten a little sappier than I felt was justified. A good plot on its own, but it was a little standard, practically coming right from Evergreen's sheet—if I'd been told to write a story against Evergreen, it would probably have been close to the first option to pop into my head, so in that sense, it almost feels like I've seen it before even if I technically haven't. There were some issues with the punctuation that could've used a cleanup, but it was just fine overall in terms of mechanics. Beyond that, what can I say? I gleaned some entertainment out of it, particularly from areas Fillygree's dialogue, but the emotion running through it didn't hit me much, personally.
Evergreen's author wrote a piece that—even had I had no context from the character sheets—I'm sure I would've enjoyed even outside the realm of this contest. It was perhaps the most story-ish entry I've had the please of reading over the course of this contest thus far, yet it did still manage to be a character-driven piece. Evergreen was wonderful in this, and seeing her out of the woods really firmed up how viable a character she is, for me. Fillygree was perhaps slightly less well characterized, if only because some of the more unique areas of her personality (her excessive attention to detail, namely) didn't really come through for me, even if things like her chess-playing were referenced. The plot was very entertaining for me, with a nice balance of character moments and action (and better yet, the action wasn't tangential to the plot, as opposed to Evergreen's author's entry in the first round), though I felt the portrayal the villain could've used a little more care. The mechanics were great apart from that "His expression was somewhere between" sentence that cut off.
So yeah. I'd be fine with either moving ahead, but Evergreen's author's entry really sucked me in this time around.
Evergreen's Author
Fillygree's author
I didn't feel like there was hardly any characterization or interaction in Evergreen's story. Fillygree was a pretty one-dimensional jeweler (who mentioned a board game once). Evergreen had more personality, but a significant fraction of it was the words "aboot," "hoser," and "eh." I did like her tenacity, and her internal monologues were pretty good. I really liked her last line. But the two of them together hardly talked about anything besides a little Q&A that revealed nothing about their personalities.
The plot wasn't great. Or, rather, I liked the plot but it wasn't executed well. Rural cop comes to big city investigating a big event but nobody believes her... bad guy plants a monster to gain access and distraction for a heist... Yeah, that could be a pretty good story. But I don't feel like either the bad guy or the author really thought through it much. Maybe that's why he got caught. Still, though, it's not about the plot, it's about the characters and I don't think there was much of that in Evergreen's story.
Fillygree's story didn't have much of a plot. Pretty much nothing happened. Nothing but two characters talking. No action, no suspense. Just interaction between two individuals. In fact, we didn't see either one of them doing their job, and neither one of them ever mentioned their job. Someone's profession can say a lot about who they are, but only because who they are leads them to a profession. We get to see the personality aspects that led Evergreen to become a Ranger... but nothing in regards to Fillygree's profession. However, she was on vacation, and there's not much about being a jeweler that's terribly relevant in the woods. Especially an incredible attention to detail that overstuffs a backpack to the exclusion of a map.
Fillygree was taken completely out of her element, but refused to admit that she wasn't capable. Evergreen was totally in her element, but Fillygree's invasion of her personal space took her right back out again. Evergreen never really did open up - always polite, even friendly, but deflecting with humor or just repeating that the forest is her home. I just think that there's a lot more interaction and depth into the characters here.
Evergreen's author
Interaction be damned, this was a better story, with a better written Fillygree.
Fillygree's Author
Any suspense there could have been in Evergreen's story was ruined by the title which made me just wait and look for the robbery.
Fillygree's story was just a good all around character development story. Like the backstory that's necessary to get you to care about the characters. Unlike Evergreen's story which really didn't make me care about the characters and really the parts in the story could have been filled in by almost anypony with minor dialogue adjustment.
Fillygree's author
Ugh, I love Evergreen so much! She's such a cutie pie!
However, Fillygree had the better story. I don't think Evergreen's let the two interact enough.
Evergreen's Author
Both of these were strong entries, and the fact that they were radically different was also refreshing. I think Evergreen's author might have had a few issues with the word limit, as some of the prose is pretty sparse, and it seems like a lot of opportunities for further exposition were missed. That said, at least something happens in the former story. The latter has its two characters meet in a pedestrian manner, and then sitting down and talking about stuff. Perhaps that is more exploratory in regards to what's on the character sheets, but it didn't make for an enthralling narrative. In this case, I think inventiveness tips the scales. I have to give my vote to Evergreen.
Fillygree's Author
Evergreen's author's story seemed… I dunno. Rough around the edges, I suppose. It was certainly a good, entertaining read, but it felt like some details were missing. And I don't think Fillygree and Evergreen really got to interact enough. I'm not even too sure how Fillygree knew that Evergreen was coming in the end—did she just see her coming up the street? Like I said, I enjoyed it, but it was missing something.
Fillygree's author's story may have been less of an actual story, but it did what it set out to do, and it did it really well. The scene was set beautifully, and I really enjoyed Fillygree's character more in this one. Plus, the two characters got to interact a lot more—I also like that they were the only two characters. I'm kind of a sucker for slice-of-life snippets like this, so I may have been biased, but you won my vote regardless. Well done.
EVERGREEN’S AUTHOR
Lumber and Larceny
Liked: “Fructidor”. I mean, it’s such a tiny thing, but I rarely see interesting Equestrian calendar systems, and that just tickled me.
Disliked: Definitely feels like you had more story than word limit allowed, here. I’d love to see this expanded after the contest.
I’d also love to see Redwood smooching on Evergreen next round, but maybe that’s just me.Fillygree vs. Evergreen
Liked: The first thing Fillygree says to her. That’s the funniest thing I’ve read in a while. :D
Disliked: I just can’t put my finger on this one, I can’t figure it out.
vote: Fillygree's author
To cook rice, first boil a pot of water and then add salt. Then pour in the rice and stir just enough to separate the rice from itself. Then cover and let simmer for about eighteen minutes. Then remove from the heat and let it sit for five minutes. Fluff with a fork before serving.
Evergreen's Author
Both are very strong in their own ways, as has been said many times. And a part of me doesn't want to vote Evergreen because, for the second time, I enjoy Evergreen more in the other story. The Canadianisms are just a bit too much. That being said, she is still a fun and interesting character, even if I cringe almost every time she speaks. That's top notch, though, that the character itself can make me like it despite such an annoying trait. The other big reason I went for Evergreen's writer is because Fillygree is far more interesting in that story. Both her and Evergreen do, though never really together. Each kind of shines in their own moment; something you might watch out for in the future. But Fillygree in the second story just feels like she's an observer, and her character doesn't really get to shine, simply be.
The only other real complaint for you, Evergreen, is the villain was silly and contrived. I honestly think it would've served you better for it to just be the timberwolf. But still, it wasn't awful. Just the weakest part of the story overall.
Fillygree's Author
Evergreen's Author
These were both good stories; I think they both had an interesting setup and were for the most part entertaining to read. But I've got to go with Evergreen's story for three different reasons.
1. I liked how the story was mostly set outside of EG's comfort zone, but she was still able to do her job to the best of her ability. FG's story was fine, but it didn't feel as original; after all, this is the 3rd story involving Evergreen that involved her helping a pony in the woods. I know that's her job description, but I preferred Evergreen's author telling the story away from her usual stomping grounds.
2. I never felt that much for Fillygree's character in Fillygree's own story. I mean, for a pony heavily invested in jewelry, that wasn't really brought up much in the story. In EG's story, her jewelry shop figures heavily into the plot and I felt like she herself was a more interesting character. At least she had something to lose in that story (btw, I loved the misdirection in the beginning about how the client was going to be the main conflict of the story).
3. Most of Fillygree's story is talking, whereas Evergreen's was a mixture of dialogue and action. I wouldn't have made that big of a deal about it, except for the fact that in FG's story, the conversation is kind of bland and flat. If you want characters to spend the whole story talking, fine. But at least make the conversation more interesting than it was.
Evergreen's Author
While I thought both stories were at least solid, this was really easy for me. Evergreen's author just had a more engaging story, for me, at least.