Wind Whistler vs. Redwood - Winner: Redwood (by Vote)
Wind Whistler vs. Redwood - by Wind Whistler's Author
Wind Whistler sighed, wondering how he’d be able to word ‘there’s nothing new to report’ for the third day in a row. He still wasn’t sure how Shining Armor had been able to convince him to continue writing daily reports after the investigation for Dreamer’s mystery mare had finished. Must have still been in a good mood after celebrating the end of that search.
After his success tracking down the cultists she’d been with, Shining had tasked him with finding and apprehending the few that managed to escape. Even with the help of the Equestrian Intelligence Agency, no new leads had come up.
Yawning, he finished the report and stamped it with his officer’s seal.
“You look like you’re having fun, sir,” a familiar voice remarked from the door of his temporary office. Even though he wasn’t technically part of the EIA, they had given him a space due to his position in the guard.
Whistler stopped yawning and regarded his visitor.
Field Agent Redwood stood in the doorway wearing a teasing smile. Out of all the agents in the EIA, she was one of his favourites to work with. She knew how to appreciate a good joke, but she also worked hard when the job called for it. There was really only one problem with her.
“How many times do I have to ask you not to call me ‘sir’?” Whistler asked. “My dad was a ‘sir’, and he’s old. I’m not old yet.”
“Until you’re able to win one of our bets, I’ll just keep calling you sir...sir” Redwood replied, leaning against the doorframe.
Whistler groaned. Whether it was cards, board games, or miscellaneous dares, Redwood always found ways to come out on top. Whistler had to keep guessing bets that she wouldn’t be good at or games that she wouldn’t be able to learn quickly. No matter what it was, she’d always accepted every bet, and so far, she’d won every time.
Seeing how she acted around the older field agents, Whistler was certain that the mare was only calling him ‘sir’ to bug him. Much to his chagrin, it worked rather well. Still, the two managed to get along fairly well and Whistler was glad that there was someone around with a sense of humour to keep things interesting.
“Don’t feel bad, I’m sure you’ll win eventually,” Redwood snickered, walking over to his desk. With the way the mare moved, it was nearly impossible to tell that one of her legs was confined to a brace unless it was in sight or if it creaked, which it did from time to time.
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Whistler said, moving the report over to the side of his desk and standing up, “but with the luck I’ve been having, it won’t be until long after this case is solved.”
Redwood grimaced . “Ugh, let’s not talk about the case right now. I’m on my way to a ‘friendly chat’ about why we don’t have anything yet.”
“Yeah, Honcho’s been on the warpath about that lately,” Whistler agreed, “I’m just glad that we’re both technically the same rank. Spares me his wrath.”
“Lucky you,” Redwood muttered.
“Chin up, he yells at everypony.” Whistler nudged the younger pegasus. “Best not to keep him waiting though.” He made his way out the door with Redwood right behind him.
“See you later,” he called over his shoulder as he trotted in the direction of the cafeteria .
Redwood waved a wing in response, then turned and headed down to the end of the hall where her supervisor waited.
There are worse ways to spend a Saturday afternoon, Redwood thought. None come to mind, but I’m sure that they exist.
She refocused on her commanding officer, Head Honcho. The muscle-bound unicorn practically screamed ‘unsubtle’ and actually screamed almost everything else. While he might not have been gifted with the Royal Canterlot Voice, he was certainly good at imitating it. Redwood could easily imagine her mane rippling from the force of his shouting.
As Honcho ranted, Redwood made sure she kept her face as neutral as possible. She’d made the mistake of looking bored during one of her supervisors’ shouting sessions before, it didn’t end well.
Eventually, Honcho’s volume decreased and his face started to twist back from ‘enraged’ to his usual ‘grumpy’.“Honestly, sometimes I wonder why I even waste my time with you greenhorns,” Honcho muttered. Redwood felt her ears droop at the dismissal. While it was true that no one had been able to get a hold of any leads in the past few days, it wasn’t like they were doing nothing. She’d been working her tail off trying to track down the missing cultists during her shifts. She even took some time assisting a few of the other field agents on her days off.
She bid her superior farewell and backed out of the office. Never before had Honcho chewed her out that badly. She’d been trying to impress him since day one but he only considered her to be a waste of time. That stung more than any injury she’d received in the field and more than the time that the recruiting officer had said that she probably wouldn’t be able to make it in the academy because of her leg.
Redwood made her way past the open doors of the cafeteria and out of headquarters. She wasn’t in any mood to talk to her co-workers at the moment. She needed some time alone.
Once outside, she looked up at the clouds and tried to decide how much time she had until the scheduled rain started. After a moment’s consideration, she decided that she didn’t really care about getting a little wet.
Redwood set off at a brisk trot with a slight creaking sound accompanying her as she disappeared into the crowds of the busy city.
Wind Whistler looked up from his half-finished lunch when he heard the shouting from down the hall die down. The office was supposedly soundproof but it still wasn’t enough to contain the EIA commander’s booming voice.
He almost approached Redwood when he saw her pass by the cafeteria but reconsidered when he saw her expression. She looked like she would need some cheering up, but he knew she wouldn’t thank him for trying to talk to her right away.
Whistler bit his lip trying to decide on the best course of action. A few moments later, he had a plan. The stallion quickly finished off his lunch and headed back into the cafeteria line. In order for his plan to work properly, he’d need to give Redwood some time alone first. And a pie.
As he waited on his new order, he wondered where he’d be able to find his colleague. His cheer-up plan would be rather poor if he couldn’t find her. He shrugged. If worse came to worst, he’d just have to fly around looking for her ... likely in the rain. Neither of those factors were particularly off-putting. He’d worry about where to search when the time came.
The pony working the counter told him he’d have to wait a little while for his pie to be finished and that it would be best if he came by a little later to pick it up. Whistler thanked the mare and wandered leisurely back to his office. It was probably for the best that he had to wait, Redwood probably needed some time alone.
He glanced out the window of his office and tried to remember how hard it was supposed to rain. The stallion shrugged, it didn’t really matter how hard it stormed. Any storm could be an enjoyable one, it all depended on how you used it.
Out of all the buildings in Canterlot, Luna’s Lookout was the tallest by far. To be fair, it wasn’t much of a building but it was the tallest pony-made structure in Equestria. While there was a large group of nobles that complained that it clashed with the rest of the city’s architecture, they had to admit that it was quite the sight to behold. Ponies standing at the top of the tower could see for miles in every direction and the view of the stars on a cloudless night was unparalleled in any other Equestrian observatory.
Redwood had learned a little while back that it also made a great spot to sit and think. It was most likely due to the fact that the only safe way to the top was up a large spiral staircase that wound around the tower’s interior. The wards placed on the building helped to prevent collapse and made it next to impossible for any unicorn to teleport to the top. Frequent strong winds discouraged any pegasi from attempting to approach by air.
On an overcast day like today, the tower was typically deserted.
Redwood sat at the edge gazing out over Canterlot. Over the years the tower had become her go-to place on the rare occasions when she felt down. It was a reminder for her of the things that she’d overcome.
When she had first entered the academy, many of the other ponies, the commanding officer included, had looked down on her because of her leg. Redwood had lost count of how many times she’d been told that she wasn’t cut out to be a guard because of it. Back then, she’d been desperate to prove that she belonged and so when one of the other cadets dared her to climb the tower by herself, she’d accepted.
It had hurt like Tartarus and it took her most of the night, but the looks on her fellow cadets’ faces had been worth every step.
Since then, Redwood had made a point of working on her mobility. Even though she’d made it up the tower, she knew that it had taken her far longer than most. So she trained. On top of the already exhausting regimen of the academy, she trained to increase her range of motion in order to strengthen her braced leg.
Every week, she’d faced the tower again. Every week, she’d shaved a little time off her trip to the top. Every week, she’d gotten more sure of her abilities on land.
She’d been told several times that it was stupid to drain herself like that on top of the physically demanding training. Sometimes she agreed, but that would have meant letting everypony who doubted her win.
So Redwood kept pushing.
Eventually she was able to get herself up the tower just as quickly as any of her fellow cadets. She could walk without a limp.
It wasn’t much of a wonder to her why she liked to sit up at the top of the lookout. She’d spent extended periods of time collapsed in a heap at the top, but every time had been worth it. So whenever she needed a reminder of her capabilities, she just climbed the tower. Sometimes she wondered how things would be if she’d neve-
“There’s an expression I never thought I’d see you wearing.”
Redwood straightened up and whipped her head around to see the newcomer.
Wind Whistler had joined her on the platform with an amused look on his face as he watched her scramble to her feet.
“You!” She pointed an accusatory hoof at him. “How’d you get up here? And what expression?”
Whistler looked a little confused at the question. “I flew?” He fluttered his wings.
“But the wi- nevermind,” Redwood groaned. If he didn’t want to tell her, she certainly wasn’t in the mood to try and figure it out. “My other question?”
“That ‘deep in thought’ look,” Whistler replied. “You usually seem a lot more sure of yourself.”
“Yeah, well, getting yelled at and told how terrible you are at your job can do that to a mare.” Redwood grumbled.
“Fair enough,” Whistler agreed. “Mind if I sit with you?”
Redwood grunted and shifted over.
“Pie?” Whistler asked as he sat down, looking out over Canterlot with her.
“You brought pie up here?” Redwood asked. “Why?”
“Why not?” Came the reply. “Besides, pie’s great for helping with a bad mood.”
She couldn’t really fault him there. “Fine, yes please.”
Whistler opened up the container that held the pie. It looked a little worse for wear but who really cared when it still tasted the same?
“So, what brings you here?” Redwood asked after she’d finished a piece. “Sort of an odd place to choose to eat pie.”
“Ridiculous, everywhere’s a good place to eat pie,” Whistler snorted. “Besides, I had a friend here in need of a good cheering up.”
“We’re friends?” Redwood teased.
“I’d hope so, even if you have that unfortunate habit of calling me sir.” Whistler replied.
“I suppose it’s nice to have friends in high places, sir.” She decided.
Whistler rolled his eyes. “Nice to know that’s all I’m good for.”
The two ate in silence for a few minutes.
“You know, he doesn’t really think you’re a waste of time,” Whistler said after he’d finished eating. “Honcho, I mean.”
Redwood snorted. “I’d say he made it pretty darn clear that he did.” She wasn’t really in the mood to call him ‘sir’ anymore.
“He’s always been a fan of the whole ‘tough love’ idea.” Whistler said.
“No arguments there,” Redwood muttered.
Whistler saw that he wasn’t really getting anywhere. Time to switch tactics.
“How many of your fellow cadets are still in the EIA?” he asked.
“I dunno, five or six including me.” Redwood replied. “Why?”
“How many started out?”
“We had a huge rookie class enter training for the EIA,” Redwood recalled. “The biggest in the last twenty five years, I think they said.”
“Seems like a pretty big difference between then and now,” Whistler commented. “What happened?”
“Some quit, most got kicked out.” Redwood said. It had been sad to see some of them go. Others, not so much.
“My guess is that they got kicked out because Honcho figured they were wasting his time, right?” Whistler asked.
“Oh great, I’m going to get kicked out before I make a name for myself,” Redwood snarked. “Fan-bucking-tastic.”
Ok, maybe making those parallels wasn’t such a good idea. Whistler wasn’t done, though. Time to pull out all the stops.
“How about a bet?”
Redwood couldn’t resist a bet, even in a bad mood. “Alright, what is it?”
“I bet that not only does Honcho think you’re not a waste of time, but that you’ve got serious potential.”
Redwood rolled her eyes. “You must like it when I call you sir if you’re making a bet like that. You’re on.”
“Let’s head back to headquarters then,” Whistler said standing up and stretching his wings.
“You’re going to fly?” Redwood raised an eyebrow. “Are you nuts?”
“My special talent’s flying in bad conditions, I’ll be fine.”
“If you say so.”
“I do,” Whistler jumped off the platform. “Race ya down!”
“Show off,” Redwood muttered. She set a personal best for herself going down the stairs but still came second. She promised that she’d get him back later.
“You want what?!” Head Honcho roared at Wind Whistler. The massive stallion’s wrath was impressive. If rumours were true, even minotaurs backed down when he got going.
Whistler only came up to the larger pony’s shoulder in height but he seemed unphased by the shouting even though he did take a moment to wait until his ears stopped ringing before he replied.
“I would like to transfer Redwood to the Royal Guard under my command.”
“Why on Equus would I agree to that?”
“You seemed rather unimpressed with her performances to date during your meeting with her this afternoon,” Whistler replied, “I thought I’d take her off your hooves.”
“You heard that?” Honcho asked at a more manageable volume. Shouting all the time was tiring and it didn’t seem like it was causing the desired effects on Whistler.
“I’m pretty sure Princess Luna heard you, and she slept through an invasion,” Whistler gave Honcho a look.
Honcho shrugged. He was loud by necessity. Fewer people challenged his decisions that way.
“Look, we both have our ways of leading,” he told the pegasus guard. “You prefer to be friendly with your subordinates, I prefer to keep them on edge.”
“That’s true,” Whistler agreed, “but that doesn’t explain why you gave her such a hard time.”
Honcho sighed. “This investigation’s been wearing on everyone, me included. You think I’m happy about using nearly my entire force to try and track down locals? They could be put to much better use elsewhere.”
“So you’re not interested in the transfer?”
“Of course not, we both know she’s got the most potential out of the rookies.
Whistler didn’t really know the other rookies very well, but he doubted it would be productive to point that out. “Well, I guess I should be going then…” he paused by the door. “...you’re really sure you’re not interested?”
“Get out of my office, Whistler.”
Whistler nudged the door open and stepped outside into the hall.
“Oh, hey Redwood,” he waved to the mare who seemed a little out of breath, probably from running outside in the rain or something and certainly not from running away from the door before it was opened. “Mind seeing me in my office for a second?”
“I can’t believe you did that,” Redwood told Whistler once they were in his office.
Whistler shrugged. “It was to help a friend, so it was worth it.”
“It means a lot to me,” Redwood told him, “Both what Honcho said and that I have a friend willing to do something like that for me.”
“Don’t mention it,” Whistler smiled. “Now… about our bet?”
“Was hoping you’d forget,” Redwood sighed, “But a bet’s a bet. I’ll stop calling you sir.”
Whistler clapped his hooves together. “Awesome. This calls for a celebration, come on.”
“Fine, but I choose where we go,” Redwood insisted. She’d eaten enough pie for one day and she had a sneaking suspicion that Whistler didn’t know how to celebrate without it.
The two walked in silence for a few moments before Redwood spoke up again. “So… your special talent’s flying in bad conditions?”
“Yeah, I never told you that?” Whistler looked back at her.
Redwood shook her head.
“Huh, thought I would have mentioned it,” Whistler commented. “Say, what’s yours? Archery, right?”
Redwood coughed and looked down. “It’s… winning games and challenges…”
It took Redwood a few moments to realize that Whistler had stopped walking. She turned around to look at him. He was standing still, comprehension dawning on his face.
“So when I was betting on games and stuff…”
“You were pretty much doomed,” Redwood finished for him.
Whistler groaned. “Wow…”
Redwood laughed. “You think I got you bad, listen to this,” she said as she nudged him forward, “So I was at a rodeo in Las Pegasus and I met this stallion...”
Liaisons - by Redwood's Author
It was unusual to see the Captain's office in a state of disarray, but when Wind Whistler poked his head in through the door, the place looked like it had been hit by a hurricane. Stacks of papers which had been removed from drawers and filing cabinets were strewn about randomly on the floor, furniture had been moved to irregular locations, and behind his desk, Shining Armor was digging his way through another load of forms. Wind Whistler's usual grin started to slip from his face upon noticing the chaos, but he nevertheless proceeded inside, warily eyeing all the tripping hazards on the floor as he did.
"Captain?" said Whistler, taking a step closer. "You wanted to speak with me?"
Upon noticing the first lieutenant's presence, Shining broke into a smile.
"Yes, I did," he said. "Come over."
The smile was reassuring, and so Whistler did as he was told, navigating the debris until he stood behind the desk as well. Shining remained sat on the floor, poring over what appeared to be troop reassignment forms.
"We have a problem," said Shining, not looking up from his papers.
"Don't we always?"
"This is an actual problem. Cadance was made the new ruler of the Crystal Empire, so she's taking permanent residency there, and I have to go with her. While I'm officially retaining my post as Captain of the Royal Guard, I'm going to be here a lot less from now on, so I need to choose an acting captain."
Wind Whistler's eyes widened.
"Okay," he said, trying to keep an even tone.
"You've always been my number one guy, Whistler." Shining put down his papers and looked Wind Whistler in the eye. "I've thought it over, and there's nopony I trust more. Do you want the job?"
"Well... Uh..." Wind Whistler couldn't help but trip over his words. "I-I don't know. I mean... wouldn't that bring extra responsibilities with it?"
"Yes. But nothing you couldn't handle."
Whistler rubbed the back of his neck with a hoof.
"I'm still not sure... I'd really have to think it over. I'm not so good with handling responsibility in the first place, and all the extra duties on top of that..."
Shining gave Whistler a flat look. Standing up, he stepped over a stack of paper until he was face to face with his subordinate.
"Please don't let your laziness screw you out of another opportunity, Whistler," he said, a note of annoyance entering his voice. "I know you could do this job if you tried. You're already my second, aren't you? And if anything, my job is even easier than yours. It's, like, ninety-percent delegation. Not exaggerating."
Whistler bit his lip and looked around the office.
"Whistler, seriously, I need an answer in the next five minutes or I'll have to give it to Iron."
"Then yes!" Whistler blurted. "I'll do it! I'll take the job!"
Shining grinned.
"Great!" He trotted around the desk and hauled another stack of papers off the floor, which he then began sifting through midair. "Now for the problem."
Whistler's already very light blue face paled even further.
"...That wasn't the problem?"
"No. The problem is that I have to spend today getting my affairs in order. And that leaves me no time to meet with the EIA contact."
"EIA. That's the... Equestrian Intell—"
"Equestrian Intelligence Agency, yes. And since this is going to be your first time meeting them as acting Captain of the Royal Guard, let me explain the basics."
Shining tossed the papers onto the desk and began rummaging through a loose drawer on the floor beside him, again focusing on his task rather than looking at Wind Whistler.
"First of all, we hate them. They demand transparency from us, show none on their end, and above all, they're arrogant and spiteful. Think every bully you've ever met, but with royal authority and a suit."
Whistler's expression hardened into a frown just picturing them.
"Second of all, they're gonna do everything they can to intimidate you. You can expect that they'll have sent a real creep as their liaison. The guy I met last year was called Exuding Malevolence, and I wish I was making that up. They'll only use agent designations at first, but don't be fooled. You do have the right to demand their actual names. They like to pretend that lots of stuff is classified and above your paygrade, but the truth is, they just don't like telling us things."
"Why not?"
"Because they don't like us. After introductions, they'll usually begin by asking really ominous questions. Stuff like, 'Who would you say are your ten most expendable officers?' or 'How many guards have you lost to unexplained poisonings in the last three months?' If you ask them to explain themselves, they'll mostly refuse. So here's what you do."
Shining pulled some kind of notepad from the drawer and smiled at it. He put it in the pocket of his armour and turned back to Whistler.
"Refuse to tell them what they want," he said, his smile becoming a touch mischievous. "One of two things will happen. Either they'll get over their pride and explain themselves, or they'll cry to Celestia for a royal executive order demanding our compliance, and then Celestia will tell us what's going on after they're out of manes. Either way, inconvenience them as much as possible. Never be honest if you don't have to be. Lie to them about everything. They ask you where the bathroom is, you tell them we don't have one. Got it?"
Whistler blinked.
"Are... Are you being serious right now?"
"A little bit." Shining stood up and stumbled across the room until he reached yet another stack, and then began sorting through the newest papers. "Really, the important thing is to make sure they don't leave us in the dark again. If they're doing something shady, and the ponies I'm responsible for are involved somehow, I want to know. But petty revenge for their years of equally petty behaviour is nice."
"Hmm." Wind Whistler shrugged with his wings. "Alright. I'll do it then. When am I meeting them?"
"Four o'clock in the east building interrogation room, but it's really your call where to meet. I always just chose that room because it's the coldest."
Wind Whistler tried not to be surprised by that.
"Uh-huh. Don't worry, Captain. I got it covered."
The guards either side of the door saluted Wind Whistler as he approached. He returned a half-hearted nod, and stopped as his hoof rested on the handle. He didn't know what kind of pony to expect on the other side. All the sergeant had told him was that a mare had arrived. That meant it probably wasn't the same agent that Shining had mentioned, but that didn't necessarily mean that they'd be any better. Then again, he doubted that the Agency could do any worse than an agent named Exuding Malevolence, so the odds were in his favour.
Closing his eyes and taking one last breath, like a deep-sea diver about to go under, Whistler pushed forward before he could convince himself to turn around and go do something else.
He entered the interrogation room, and was startled by how the agent immediately stood out against the featureless white walls and floor. Her vibrant red mane immediately drew the eye, which then noticed her black suit and tie, her square reading glasses, and her brownish red coat. She seemed just as startled by Whistler's sudden entrance, looking up suddenly from some kind of folder, which she immediately snapped shut and lay down on the simple wooden table that separated them.
"Oh, hello," she said, still staring at him with widened eyes. "Sorry. Didn't expect you so soon."
She pushed the folder to the side and held out a hoof, attempting a weak smile.
"Agent Redwood. I'm your EIA liaison."
In some distant corner of his mind, Wind Whistler wondered what he had been afraid of. With a smile of his own, though a much more natural one than hers, he closed the door behind him and strolled over to the table.
"I figured." He sat down opposite the agent and shook her hoof. "First Lieutenant Wind Whistler. Or, Captain Wind Whistler now, I suppose. It's all rather short notice."
"Heh, same." Redwood seemed to become less tense, as she pulled the file back over and opened it again. "Alright... Um... I've been instructed to request information on the Royal Guard's status as of the Changeling Invasion... specifically as it pertains to... hold on..."
Redwood turned several pages in the folder and scanned back and forth with her eyes.
"...As it pertains to... 'casualties endured, ponies injured or captured, intelligence compromised, prisoners taken, and enemy intelligence recovered.'"
"Okay..." Whistler raised an eyebrow. "May I ask why the EIA needs this information?"
"Just a general damage report," Redwood said, off-handedly. "We've been making similar inquiries to other military branches all week. Or, well, I have. I'm kind of the only agent on the job right now."
Whistler frowned. "And why's that?"
"Staff shortage. Our HQ's in a terrible state. The changelings infiltrated us, and we lost half our number. The guy who would normally be meeting you is still missing, his next three replacements are also all missing, and the next in line is my boss, who just got promoted and is now running half the Agency. I was a last resort for this job. I'm technically not even qualified for it yet."
He cocked his head.
"You're surprisingly forthcoming about all this. I was told before coming in here that the EIA is historically very guarded and rarely shares information."
Redwood stifled a laugh.
"Yeah, well... I figured, maybe if my side was nice for once, yours might be too."
With a sly smile, Whistler leaned in.
"Between you and me," he whispered, "the Captain told me to lie to and inconvenience you as much possible. Petty revenge for the EIA's attitude."
This time, Redwood couldn't hold back the laugh. She removed her glasses and put them down on the table.
"Between you and me," she said, "I was told to do the exact same thing, because the Royal Guard never cooperates."
She laughed again, and Whistler laughed with her. It did not last for long, but once it was over, all the previous tension in the air had evaporated. Whistler relaxed his posture, no longer sitting so stiffly.
"We are so unprofessional," said Redwood, leaning her face on a hoof.
"We're unprofessional? Captain Armor and your CO are the ones going out of their way to be childish. Just think of how much time our divisions must've wasted on antagonising each other, when we're both part of the same government!"
"I know, right? It's kinda sad, really."
The two of them became quiet. While Redwood was left looking at the table, Whistler glanced over to her folder.
"Can I see what it is you need to know, exactly? Maybe I can help you out."
Redwood casually turned the folder around and slid it across the desk. Whistler stopped it with a hoof and skimmed the page it was opened on.
"Compromised officers..." he muttered. "Enemy contraband... requisitioning... Huh. Alright."
After a minute and a half, Whistler finished up with the folder, closed it, and slid it back over.
"There were no pony casualties or severe injuries that I'm aware of, and we didn't take any prisoners, but I can have the boys bring up our records on the rest of the stuff you need. As for the other thing... I'm sorry to report that we've already cremated all the changeling remains, and I'm more than a little concerned that your science team wants them in the first place."
"You and me both," said Redwood. "But thank you! Records would be most helpful."
With a nod, Whistler stood up and headed back for the door. Before heading outside, he paused, and turned around to look at Redwood again.
"Out of curiosity, is it true that you had a pony called Agent Exuding Malevolence working this job before you?"
Redwood smiled. "It's Director Malevolence now. And before you ask, yes, he is exactly like a comic-book supervillain."
There was no response he could give to that, so Wind Whistler just sighed, shrugged, and stepped out into the corridor, past the other two guards.
It was over an hour later when Redwood finally packed the last of the Royal Guard's records back into their boxes, so that they could be taken back to the archive later. She sat up from the desk that she hadn't moved from in her entire visit, and trotted over to the exit with her folder clenched against her body by her wing. Wind Whistler hadn't even known she was a pegasus until she stood up, nor had he noticed the leg brace. He held open the door for her as she walked out, and then followed after her down the corridor.
"Well, thank you very much for your cooperation, Captain Whistler," said Redwood. "I think this is the fullest report an EIA liaison officer has ever brought back. You might just be what finally gets me into my CO's good graces."
"Feathers crossed. Though it's probably still just First Lieutenant Whistler for a while."
"Never say never. You seem like you'd make a good captain."
"Well, you know. Anything to improve interservice relations."
Redwood grinned.
"Say, here's a proposal, captain. Do you want to go out somewhere this Friday?"
Whistler raised an eyebrow.
"Isn't that a little unprofessional, given our jobs?"
"Why? Weren't we already having liaisons?"
He stopped in his tracks. Redwood did too. She looked back at him, and her grin widened. He stared at her incredulously, and then began shaking his head.
"You were building up to that pun, weren't you?"
Redwood laughed.
"For over an hour, you've been waiting just to make that pun!"
"Hah! Guilty as charged!"
"You're terrible! This must be why everypony hates the EIA!"
"I'm not hearing a no!" said Redwood, in a singsong voice.
Whistler sighed and covered his face with a wing. He continued shaking his head for a second, before uncovering and rolling his eyes.
"Ah, fine, you got me. I relent. Friday it is."
The two resumed walking, and before long reached the building's exit. Whistler and Redwood emerged onto the grounds of Canterlot Castle, now bathed orange in the glow of the evening sun. In that gentle light, they both couldn't help but smile.
"So, do you wanna choose a place, or should I?" asked Redwood.
"As it happens, I know a place that does excellent pies..."
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You know, still loving Redwood.
Abstain. This one is too close to call for me. And I'm serious, I'm usually inclined to find in favour one or another. I think this has been the most even so far out of all of the ones I've read.
Uhb... buhbh... Wind Whistler's Author
6087619 I almost did the same.
There was one aspect that set apart these two stories, both excellently written with strong characterization, a well defined storyline, clear imagery and believable settings: the whole "playing the game" thing in the Wind Whistler's author's story. That's it. Otherwise, I am tempted to ask if these two stories were actually written by the same author! I mean, has anyone ever seen Wind Whistler's author and Redwood's author in the same place at the same??? I thought not.
All kidding aside - major kudos, both authors. I am mighty impressed!
Wind Whistler's Author
This was weird.
Redwood's author
I don't think that Wind Whistler had any personality in Wind Whistler's story. It felt more like a rehash of the character sheets - which I didn't read til after the stories. The character of Wind Whistler could, in this story, have been any background pony or nameless guard or generic OC.
In Redwood's story, something actually happens. There's the interesting setup, but that just gives an opportunity for the two characters interact. Wind Whistler actually becomes a character in this story, as he takes on responsibility and makes the assignment his own, making judgment calls rather than just following orders. Character growth. I also liked Redwood as the eager young recruit, still unsure of herself but trying to do a good job - while still not really cowing to her superiors, at least when they're not around.
I'd like to read more Redwood, that's for sure.
Wind Whistler's Author Vote
I like that it looks like the two authors decided to have fairly similar characterizations overall, but decided to highlight different aspects. Redwood's went for the relaxed nature the two share, while it seemed that Whistler's went with Redwood's desire to be respected by her superior and Whistler's desire to help ponies and his backbone when pressured. I think that both pieces were done very well, and have great comedic elements to them. I think that Whistler's had a slight edge to it, and it was enough to get my vote.
Wind Whistler's Author
It's a shame that only one story can advance, as this might be my favorite pairing of stories in this round. Both entries were well written and had great characterization for the two OCs. Redwood's story even had a nice show-like moral about cooperation. I'm giving my vote to Wind Whistler's story, however, because it builds its main conflict around Redwood's character (her struggle to earn the respect of her superiors) and synthesizes all of the aspects of her character sheet to provide a well rounded look at her character.
That said, the authors should totally collaborate on a fic together, given how well they mesh together. Wind Whistler x Redwood OTP!
Redwood's Author
This is gonna be another one where I question the reading level of anyone who votes otherwise, though I will admit by the end of Wind Whistler's story I was kinda hoping Redwood would disappoint me. She didn't.
Shining Armor setting Whistler up to meet the EIA rep was the funniest thing I've read today. "Ominous questions," I swear... I'm still giggling. And then the implied headcanon thing about the EIA being full of changelings, and... I just really enjoyed reading this entry. It also did a really good job of expressing different aspects of both characters, like Wind Whistler's guard career. Of course, Redwood might have been explored better in the first story, but overall she's a stronger character, and focusing on her to the exclusion of her opponent OC (and focusing on things like her "oh-feel-sorry-for-me" leg injury) is a trap too many authors fall into, that Redwood's author avoided. The setup to get the two characters together was also much better done by Redwood's author.
Wind Whistler's was better in some parts than others, but overall I was kind of impatient to get to the end. It really picked up when Redwood got to the tower (everything before that really could've been cut and incorporated in afterward), but it went back downhill soon after that. The bet thing and the whole self-confidence conflict felt contrived. I loved the subtle way that Wind Whistler's flying talent was lampshaded, but then he trampled that love by flat-out saying it. It would've been better if things like that had been left subtle.
If Redwood's story had been less impressive I would've happily voted for Wind Whistler's, but it was so good it's making me only remember the flaws in the first story, like the conflict. I really don't like character conflicts that are fixed by the other OC telling them something obvious (like Obvious Question and Rachis Barbule, Loud Mouth and Glyph Dance, etc.). But I was going to overlook that! Tough competition is what this contest all comes down to! It'll happen to all of us sooner or later.
(reads other comments)
Come on, people! Know a good story when you see one! Wind Whistler's was good, but it wasn't that close!
Redwood's Author
Wind Whistler's Author
Cute, quasi-romantic story--there's the tension, but it's never fulfilled. That's the kind of thing you can always work into a story. It felt a bit rushed, but for all of that, it's a good strong Slice of Life story. Also hard to get around Wind Whistler's name--I think using earlier generation names is a gamble that might not pay off. It certainly added a lot of baggage you may not have intended.
Redwood's Author
Bureaucratic. Slightly rushed . . . but the ending ties it up nice and neat.
In both stories, I felt the name-dropping was a bit much, although I realise that you're constrained by what the character sheets say. Still, moving forward, I'd be real careful with an OC's relationship to canon characters.
Redwood's Author
Again, for me, the funny wins out over the charming. I really liked the subtle ties to Redwood's talent in her author's entry, being that once she returned, she'd have won the most information and cooperation from the Guard than any of the previous Liaison. The way she's written there, made me want to see her victorious, not pity her.
Also that bit about Director Exuding Malevolence stole the whole show.
I can't make a snap decision, so I'll come back to this. These are two very solid entries.
Redwood's Author
I think that this is one I'm not going to be able to write all that much for. My comments so far have mostly been comprised of my complaints about the things that irked me personally or the things I found to have been done the most poorly, but here, I find both entries to be pretty solid. Redwood's author's more so, is all.
Wind Whistler's author didn't mess up in any spectacular way. I thought the scenes were too short towards the start of that entry, I found Wind Whistler himself to be a touch bland, it felt odd to me that I didn't know whether or not I was supposed to trust Wind Whistler on his initial assessment of how much Head Honcho cared about Redwood (because all of the Head Honcho stuff before that had been told to me rather than shown), I found it to have relied too much on narration over dialogue, and any number of other things, but I don't feel strongly about any of this. It has a few mechanical issues. Dialogue tags sometimes being punctuated as though they were actions and vice versa were the most common. Pretty much fine, otherwise, though.
Really, it was a fine story, I felt. Nice moments here and there. Pretty good characterization. It could have won me over, if I hadn't liked Redwood's more, and it's not much more complex than that.
I found Redwood's author's entry to be more creative in its plot, with a very satisfying buildup, despite it being another chance meeting when we've got so many fewer stories where the two characters already know each other. I found it to have been edited flawlessly enough that I don't recall spotting any issues—that or it was engaging enough that they slipped right under my radar. I found it to have squeezed more worth out of its wordcount where the other entry had felt a little bloated by the end. I found it more entertaining and smooth for its heavier focus on dialogue and its longer, more consistent scenes.
I just liked it better. Great work on both sides, and I don't have any real, pressing recommendations for either of you for the next round.
Also,
You two are in cahoots. No doubt about it.
Redwood Author
I liked them both tbh
Redwood's Author
I did like both Head Honcho and Shining Armor in the two stories. I guess I just like Wind Whistler more in the second story.
Wind Whistler's Author
Two very good stories, with two OCs that really work well together, but the first story had more and smoother character interactions and the second one spent a little too much time with Shining Armor.
Redwood's author
So much funnier, and so much more engaging than the other. Got straight to the point while leaving room for humor along the way.
Redwood's Author
I actually liked both if these, to be honest.
Redwood's Author
This one had two very similar entries--so similar at times that I wonder if the two authors aren't secretly collaborating behind the scenes. Both entries suffer from some... ignorance of how the military handles personnel, protocol, and intelligence coordination, but that aside, I think the latter told its story better than the former. The characters' interactions felt a bit more natural, and the prose wasn't bogged down with exposition like in the first. The latter also had a better narrative structure, with more rising action leading to a more satisfying payoff at the end. That's plenty to win me over.
REDWOOD’S AUTHOR
Wind Whistler vs. Redwood
Liked: The two have a really solid dynamic from the get-go. Making them long-time acquaintances was a very good idea, given their backgrounds.
Disliked: There’s a lot of telling us things we already know, like when Wind Whistler sizes her up after she gets chewed out. That scene barely moves the story forward.
Liaisons
Liked: Funny, especially the punchline.
Disliked: It’s not outstanding? I dunno, it was solid, your previous entry might have been better. There’s not too much to cricitise here. :B
vote: Redwood's author
Wind Whistler's Author
Very hard. Very hard. Redwood's story is definitely put together a bit better, and those dialogue issues in Wind Whistler do bother me. I just think all the headcanon in Redwood's turned me off more than anything I might've pointed out in Wind Whistler's. And I really enjoyed the fact that they already knew each other. To you both, the quasi-romantic tones in your pieces definitely make me like 'em all the more. Probably another reason I went for Wind Whistler, since it was a little more developed, due to them knowing each other longer. But Redwood, you certainly should not be ashamed of your entry, although I would've liked to see a bit more from Redwood, as opposed to Shining Armor.
6088511
6098257
There are no other authors. It's all just me and my endless sockpuppets.
6103071
Would you mind please expanding on this critique in a PM for me, if you have time? If this is a fixable issue, I might release a rewritten version after I go public. Even if it's not, the information may still be useful to me for future entries.
6108914
Do you dislike headcanon in general, or do you just think I implemented it poorly?
Additionally, do you think this round's story was an improvement on my previous one? I recall that you weren't too enthused about my efforts in the first round, but you seem more positive about this one. If there's something I did right here that I didn't last time, I'd like to know what it was so that I can hopefully keep doing it.
Redwood's Author
Both did the characterizations of the characters pretty well, but I thought Redwood's story about how the different branches of Equestrian government agencies distrusted one another was a touch of genius. That, and I thought that Redwood's author had the characters go through an interesting arc of finally trusting one another despite what their superiors had told them to do. Wind Whistler's story was fine, but I really didn't feel that much after reading it; it just felt like things happened and then they stopped happening. There just wasn't any real connection I could feel with the characters. Redwood's was written well enough that I actually bought that the two would end up going on a date after their meeting. And frankly, there haven't been a lot of stories in this contest where the 2 OCs ended up with each other and I could see them actually getting together. For that, Redwood's story gets my vote.