Lilligold vs. Price Back - Winner: Lilligold (by Vote)
Intraview - by Lilligold's Author
Price Back rubbed the bridge of his muzzle. “You want me to write about plants,” he said.
“These aren’t just any old plants, Price,” Written Word—his editor—said. “You’ve never seen anything like them! Hardly anyone in Equestria has! That’s the point.”
“How did you even wind up seeing them?”
“My sister’s wedding.” Written Word rifled through a stack of paperwork. She pulled out a manila envelope and levitated a few photos from it. “She commissioned a bunch of things from Glimmering Gardens after her work trip to Elmshire. Cost her a brass bit, but…” She finished with a low whistle.
Price spread the photos over the desk. The floral arrangements looked like they’d been plucked straight from a child’s imagination. He glanced over a few of the more eye-catching pieces—translucent flowers of some description, floating white gourds with flames tipping their stems, and an entire tree of cherry blossoms glowing every colour of the rainbow.
“They’re pretty,” Price said, “you got me there, Writ. But enchanted plants are still just plants! I already did that exposé on the Tree of Harmony a few weeks back. Next to that, who’s gonna care about some roses made of glass? It’s a neat gimmick, sure, but a whole piece?” He shook his head. “I can’t spin that.”
“They’re not made of glass,” Writ said as she straightened her papers. “They’re made of water.”
Despite himself, Price raised an eyebrow. “How does that even work?”
Writ shrugged. “You have to see it.”
Price waved a hoof as if brushing the topic away. “That’s besides the point. There’s no story here, Writ. What am I supposed to do? Just describe a bunch of plants and write about how gorgeous they are? That’s a catalogue, not a story.”
Looking over her glasses, Writ cupped her hooves together and said, “Look, Price, I can’t make you write anything. But I’ve been mailing back and forth with the shop owner, and she’s more than thrilled about us showcasing her store. I don’t wanna disappoint her. The Grazette’s already arranged for you to head down to Elmshire next week anyway. All expenses paid.”
“Whole lotta not-my-problem,” Price said.
Written stayed him with a hoof. “Let me finish. I think you should at least go to Elmshire. Even if the story doesn’t pan out, it’s a big, foreign city! And it’s a cultural goldmine to boot.” She slid a tourist brochure across the desk. “The astral art gallery, Swan Song’s Amphitheater, the Duchess’s Archives. You’re bound to find something worth writing about. Just try Glimmering Gardens first—that’s all I’m asking.”
She levitated an envelope over to Price. It had PB Travel Info scrawled on the front. “Call it a favour to me, if nothing else” she said.
The envelope hung in the air between them. Price looked past it at Written Word’s gentle smirk. He sighed and swiped up the envelope. “You drive a hard bargain, Writ.”
***
One week and one eighteen-hour train ride later, followed by far too little sleep—hotel sleep at that—Price Back wanted nothing more than to hole up in his room and lose himself in a book for the day. Elmshire could wait. But he’d made a promise, and he was rarely one to go back on his word. So just before noon, Price donned his hat and saddlebags and set out into the maze of a city.
It took longer than he’d hoped, and he passed many notable landmarks he reminded himself to visit once this story fell through, but Price eventually found himself looking up at the Glimmering Gardens storefront. The windows revealed little—the glass was tinted. And the letters of the shop’s name were stylized to look like flowering vines. It reminded Price of some cheezy flower shop in a fairy tale picture book.
He sighed through his nose. “Let’s get this over with,” he grumbled. He pushed the door open.
A bell jingled above Price’s head—and promptly fell from its perch and slapped him in the muzzle. It clattered like brass but had none of the impact; it felt more like a tulip head. Price watched it slip from his face and fall limply to the floor.
“Oh, so sorry!” called the mare behind the counter. She rushed forward and took the bell in her magic, silencing it. “Seems to be time for a new one of these.” She chuckled uneasily.
Price watched the bell crumple in on itself. “Was that a plant?” he asked.
The mare nodded. “Brass bellbottom. My very own design.” She placed the flower on her desk and levitated over an identical one from amid the gardens dotting the store. It snaked its way into the pot cemented above the door.
Price tapped his muzzle, where a real bell surely would’ve left a nasty bruise. He smirked. “Heh, clever. Suppose I should count myself lucky.” He extended a hoof. “Price Back with the Equestrian Grazette. You must be Lilligold.”
Lilligold smiled and lightly took his hoof. “Pleased to meet you. I must say, I am rather looking forward to this! I’ve heard nothing but great things from your editor. I’m so glad you’ve taken an interest in my little shop.”
Price forced his best smile. “The pleasure’s all mine! The Grazette’s real interested in showcasing this place. I hope we can make a great story here.” He glanced around the store. Fragrance and colour and motion and shine overwhelmed his senses wherever he looked, like he were lost inside a botanical puzzle box. He turned to Lilligold and said, “Well, might as well get to it! Why don’t we start with a tour of the place? Give me the lay of the land, y’know?”
For a moment, Lilligold just looked at him. She blinked into action quick enough. “Yes! Yes, of course. Erm… where shall we begin?” She looked this way and that, seeming greatly overwhelmed herself.
The silence dragged on. As it trickled into graveyard stillness, Price cleared his throat and said, “How about you start by just describing a specific plant or two?” He pointed to a display at random. “These ones here, for instance.”
Lilligold smiled. She stepped up to the display and said, “Ah, yes! This one is my seasonal garden. You can perhaps see why it’s named as such.” She waved a hoof over it and looked hopefully at Price.
He looked the garden over. It housed five miniature trees: a cherry blossom tree in full bloom, a palm tree complete with tiny coconuts, a maple tree with flaming autumnal leaves, and a snowcapped evergreen. The fifth tree was a standard oak that cycled between all four of its seasonal patterns in a matter of seconds. “Pretty neat,” Price said. “How’d you make these?”
“I combined the five kinds of trees with standard pegasus magic, some rather tricky time dilation spells, and the strunkus charm. The minutiae are rather complex, so I’ll spare you the boredom.” Lilligold grinned—it looked out of place on her soft features. “Essentially, it’s magic!”
“Huh. Fascinating.” Price took out his notepad and jotted something down. He looked around and spotted a daffodil spouting water like a sprinkler. “How about this one?”
Much of the next hour proceeded in the same way. Lilligold remained animated and excited as she described her many creations, the glimmer never leaving her eyes. Her enthusiasm failed to be contagious, though, as Price’s interest quickly dwindled. Every plant was interesting and unique in its own right, but the details behind them remained much the same—Lilligold could only use so many descriptors to describe another zany flower or glitzy weed. Each minute grated on Price Back further, and he could feel his patience reaching its limit. Over an hour in and he had little more than a page of notes in his notepad.
“This one was one of my very first creations,” Lilligold said, gesturing to a vine growing from a pot of sand. It curved in random directions as it slithered around like an entranced cobra. “I call it the sandsnare.”
“Right,” Price said. “And what does this one do, besides move?”
Lilligold giggled gently. “See for yourself.”
Her magic flared, and the vine curled in on itself and moved towards Price. He stood stock still as the vine brushed past his shoulder. It coiled behind his neck, snaked through his mane, and wrapped itself around his ear. “Uh, Lilligold?” Price said. “Is this supposed to—”
The vine froze in its tracks. It glowed snow white and suddenly turned into sand. A track of sand tumbled to the floor around Price Back, and some of it caught in his hair. An ethereal breeze picked up and carried the sand back to its pot, flowing like water to a drain. Once it had recollected, a new vine sprouted and began its random course.
“It’s popular at tropical-themed parties,” Lilligold said, beaming.
Price blinked. The phantom feeling of sand in his mane lingered—and a question struck him like lightning. “How do you think these things up, Lilligold?”
Lilligold’s smile faltered. She blanched and said, “Euhm… What do you mean?”
An intense spark lit in Price’s eyes. He grabbed his notepad and said, “I mean, like, what’s the thought process that goes into making something like the sandsnare? The inspiration for it? That’s something readers would want to know. The method behind the madness.”
“Oh, um…” Lilligold averted her eyes. Her voice came out soft and shaky—a far cry from the proud one she’d been using. “I’m… not so sure about that. Surely we should keep the focus on the plants themselves, not on me.”
If one were quiet enough, they could’ve heard the gears at work inside Price Back’s head. “No, no, I think that’s exactly where the focus should be.” He grinned broadly and bonked himself on the head. “Of course! I’ve been looking at this all wrong! Look, I can’t make a story about your plants on their own—there’s just not enough substance. But there’s something they all have in common. A side that nopony knows. And that’s you, Lilligold! That’s where our story is.”
Lilligold withered. “N-Not enough substance?” she said. “But… But all of your notes…”
Price dropped his notepad to the floor and stomped on it. “I’ll be frank with you, Lilligold. Your plants are all beautiful and magical and yadda yadda, but there’s nothing more to them than that. You already summarized my notes in just three words: ‘Essentially, it’s magic!’ That story’s a flop, but your story is one I wanna tell.”
“Well… but… I don’t want to tell it.”
The hope in Price’s eyes crumbled away. “Say what?”
Lilligold hid further behind her mane, looking anywhere but at Price. “I… This was meant to be a showcase of my store, not of myself. I’m not at all comfortable with that idea.”
Price grimaced. A familiar fire smoldered in his gut. “Why not?” he pressed. “This is a good idea!”
Lilligold shook her head. “I’m just… uncomfortable with it. It’s far too personal. Can we please go back to the plants?” Her eyes darted sideways and landed on a spherical cactus. It flashed vibrant colours like a neon sign. “L-Like this one!” Lilligold said. “I call it—”
Price groaned. “I don’t care!” The fire in his gut went wild, burning all the way up to his tongue. “I already told you there’s no story there! And then the one actually salvageable story I find in all of this, you shoot down! I’m fed up!”
Recoiling as far as she could, Lilligold said, “I… I don’t understand, Mister Price Back. Written Word assured me you could do my store justice.”
Price’s glare hardened. All of his teeth showed as he spat out his words. “Writ wanted me to do this story because it’s one she wanted to see. I didn’t want to do it because I knew this is exactly how it would go! It’s a gimmick! Nothing more! The best damn writer in the world couldn’t spin a story from it!”
Tears wetted Lilligold’s eyes. She blinked quickly and said, “P-Ponies tend to love my plants. I-I thought—”
“You thought wrong!” Price barked. “I knew this was a waste of time right from the start. I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt—the chance to prove me wrong. But no! You and your stupid plants have no hook! No intrigue! No point! All this time spent listening to you ramble on, and for what?! Nothing!” He lashed out his hoof on impulse. It struck the nearby cactus, sending a thousand tiny pains up his leg. He roared and grasped his hoof.
There was a tiny gasp. Lilligold shoved her way past Price Back and scrambled towards her cactus—which had fallen from its table. Its pot was smashed, and the light within it strobed frantically before fizzling out entirely. Lilligold lifted it in her silver aura and slowly rotated it through the air. She placed it on the table and bowed her head.
As his tirading tongue cooled, Price Back watched. He looked from his hoof—where the pain was rapidly subsiding—to the ruined cactus, and to Lilligold’s broken expression. He blinked. “Lilligold, I—”
“Now see here, Price Back!” Lilligold rasped. She glared daggers at him through teary lenses, making Price stumble back. She advanced on him and said, “I invited you here today because I assumed this would be a wonderful opportunity for both my shop and your magazine. I absolutely did not invite you to storm in, verbally assault me, slander my plants, and outright destroy my work!” Her voice cracked on this last. “If you didn’t believe there was a story to be had here, you should have spared us both the trouble and never have come in the first place!”
Price’s mouth worked wordlessly. “I didn’t—”
“I am not done!” Lilligold wiped an eye and continued, “Now I may not be the most confident pony in the world, but I have enough pride in my work to know that I don’t deserve to be treated this way. So I’ll choose to forget that you’ve just ruined my most difficult project to date and ask you this once politely: please take yourself and your savage demeanor and leave my store.” She whipped a hoof at the door and stood firm.
For his part, Price stood there dumbly and stared at her. He blinked once, then again, then broke into a broad smirk. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about!”
The rigidity bled from Lilligold’s stance. “Er… I don’t follow.” She shook her head. “Never mind. Out!”
“No, no, Lilligold. Listen. I’ll leave without another word if you just hear me out on this.”
It took her a moment’s thought, but Lilligold lowered her hoof. She sighed and said, “I’m listening.”
Price grinned. “Thanks. Now, you probably could’ve guessed, but that’s not exactly the first time I’ve gone off on somepony for wasting my time. But you, Lilligold. You’re one of the only ones who’s ever fought back like that. That’s why I’m saying you should be the focus of this story—not your plants.”
Lilligold quirked an eyebrow.
“I mean, look at this place!” Price swept a hoof over the storybook jungle of a store. “It speaks for itself. You’re talented, obviously have one heck of an imagination, and if that little speech didn’t speak to how passionate you are about this, I don’t know what would. There’s no reason to be uncomfortable sharing that—hay, you should be proud! And you said it yourself: ponies love your plants! If that’s true, why wouldn’t they love you too?”
He set a hoof on her shoulder. “That’s why I want to write about you. To give ponies a different side of the story. The best side. Your side.”
Lilligold pursed her lips. She looked away and said, in a much quieter tone, “Are you done?”
Price’s smile faded. “Uh, yeah,” he said, lowering his hoof.
“Well, none of those words sounded quite like an apology, so I must ask again that you leave my shop.” Lilligold nodded and whispered, “Good day, Price Back.” Lifting the broken cactus in her magic, she strode past Price and behind her counter. She set the plant in front of herself, sat down, and frowned.
For a moment, Price didn’t move. As the silence stretched on, he clumsily put away his notepad. A pile of business cards sat buried in his saddlebag. On a whim, he pulled one out and placed it on Lilligold’s desk. “My address,” he said, “in case you ever change your mind.”
“I’m quite sure I won’t need it,” Lilligold said. She never looked away from the cactus. “Thank you anyway. Enjoy the rest of your stay in Elmshire.”
Price nodded. He turned to leave but caught himself just shy. “Sorry about the cactus, by the way.” Lilligold bit her lip, but she said nothing. Price left the store without another word, the brass bellbottom singing him goodbye.
Back on the street, Price adjusted his hat and sighed. He considered the laundry list of other places he could search for a story in Elmshire. Certainly he could make something great out of one of the many tourist attractions—probably better than Lilligold’s story would’ve been. And without the drama.
Instead, he started back towards his hotel. He needed to pack.
***
Several weeks passed, and Lilligold’s life returned to its beaten track. Just her and her plants and the occasional customer who paid her little mind so long as she delivered. Exactly how she liked it—alone and unnoticed.
Sitting at her counter, Lilligold absently watered a desktop pitcher plant while looking over an order form. The pitcher plant giggled, and Lilligold couldn’t help but smile. She sighed airily and opened one of her drawers. She slid the form over and filed it away.
Deep in the crevice between paper and wood, something caught Lilligold’s eye. She levitated the object out—a tiny rectangle of cardstock with a Canterlot address printed on its face. Lilligold’s heart missed a beat. She set the card down and looked her store over.
She was alone with her plants—all of which she loved like children. All of which had some story or another behind their inception. All of which only she knew—her customers only saw novel decorations. Just how she liked it.
Lilligold frowned. She looked down at the business card again. Opening a different drawer, she stowed it carefully with her own business cards, where it wouldn’t be lost. She closed and locked the drawer.
Today wasn’t the day, but perhaps she’d want her story told another day.
Self-Respect - by Price Back's Author
The reception dinner was in full swing now. All over the hall, ponies chatted and munched on the various snacks provided. The Cantertucky Cadbury cake seemed to be of particular interest, with guests lining up by the dozens just to get even the tiniest sliver of the delicacy. Those who were not preoccupied with discussion or desserts made their way over to the newlyweds’ table, congratulating them on their betrothal.
However, away from the hustle and bustle, there stood a lone mare in the corner. Her fur was as pink as bubblegum, contrasting greatly with the bland grey wall she leaned on. Her mane, perfectly prim and brushed for the occasion, hung softly from her head and neck. A small green barrette held her mane together, creating a sort of ponytail. The hair ornament stood out greatly in her mane, which was stuck in a color between shimmering silver and pure white.
The mare carefully sipped her drink, careful to not spill it on her dress. The magenta gown had set her back 100 bits, after all. And while she was most certainly not a greedy pony, she certainly wasn’t one to toss her bits around willy nilly like some Canterlot snob.
The mare looked around. All around her, a sea of red crashed about. Crimson ribbons hung across the ceiling, while wreaths of coral flowers adorned the windows. Ruby table sheets covered the tables and the stage lights shone a soft maroon. The guests themselves also seemed to have the scarlet fever, with their gowns and suits ranging from the light burgundy to the intensely garnet.
“Think they have enough red?” a deep voice said playfully.
“Eep!” the mare squeaked, hopping in surprise. Moving quickly, she turned to face the voice.
She immediately came face-to-face with a stallion. His coat was a very faint brown, and he wore a light rosy tuxedo over the upper half of his body. His hair was long and dark black, clashing with the tuxedo’s relatively lighter color. Along his flank, the mare could see that he had a distinctive (if not somewhat generic) cutie mark: A black pen dipping into an inkwell.
But something else was there...
Scars. Many scars.
They were all very thin, but still noticeable to the naked eye. They were long and red, running up the length of the stallion’s back legs. They criss-crossed in places and formed odd patterns on the stallion’s hindquarters. The mare could not help but stare at them, a sense of unease suddenly being thrust upon her. They just looked so-
“I’m sorry!” the stallion said, stifling a chuckle. “Did I scare you?”
The mare drew a few tense breaths, then cracked a nervous smile. “No, oh no. You just surprised me.”
“Well, sorry about that,” he said, still suppressing an amused grin. “I didn’t think you would be that...er, surprised.”
“It’s alright,” the mare replied. “I just didn’t see you standing there.”
“Well, now that you do, perhaps we should do some proper introductions.” He stuck out his hoof. “Price Back’s my name.”
The mare stuck out her own hoof and took hold of his.
“Lilligold.”
“Lilligold, eh?” the stallion mused. “That’s a pretty name.”
The mare bowed her head. “Thank you for the compliment.”
“You’re very welcome,” Price replied. “So...you a friend of the bride’s?”
“Oh, no,” Lilligold quickly stammered. “I’m just the, urm...plant planner.”
“Plant planner? What’s that?”
“Well, I’m basically the one who, well...plans where to put the plants.” She motioned toward the various greenery (or ‘rederry’, as the case was here) strung about the room.
“Ah. Did you, ah...grow the plants?”
“Oh yes!” Lilligold happily chirped. “It was a big order, but I pulled it off.”
“Indeed,” Price remarked, staring around the hall at the various carefully place foliage. His head bobbed up and down in approval. “It all looks very...good.”
“Mm-hmm,” Lilligold nodded, staring out at the plants as well.
“Did the groom hire you?”
“No, it was a mare named Written Word.”
“Written Word?”
“Yes. You’ve heard of her?”
“Oh yes. Yes, I have.”
For a few moments, the two continued to gaze out at the crowd. The guests continued to shuffle about, making chit chat about the various topics that came to mind. The cake was noticably smaller now, along with the line of well-doers at the married couple’s table.
“Erm…” Lilligold started.
“Yes?” Price said.
“I’m curious...why did you come over here?”
For a moment, Price seemed surprised at the question. But his eyes soon narrowed in understanding.
“Oh, I see. You wanted to be alone.”
“Oh, no no! Well...actually yes...but I mean…” She shook her head. “I’m sorry, that came off rather rude.”
“Don’t worry, I’ve seen worse,” Price said with a smile.
“What I meant was: Did you come over here to talk, or were you just wandering about, or...what?”
“I came over here to talk,” Price said, taking a sip of his drink.
“Oh. Alright…”
“You looked like you were kind of lonely and just sort of hanging around, so… viola.”
“Ah.” Lilligold returned her gaze back to the front of the room, where the bride and groom continued to receive commendations.
“And don’t feel bad about wanting to be alone,” Price said as he leaned toward her. “I wanted to be alone, too. That’s why I was standing in the other corner.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. Honestly, I only really came out of employee obligation. The groom up there owns the newspaper that I work for, so it sort of was expected that I-”
“Price, you scoundrel!” a playful voice chimed. Lilligold and Price both turned their heads in time to see a white unicorn mare with a purple mane bounding toward them. A dark crimson dress lined her body, along with the extreme cherry-colored slippers she wore on her hooves. A few streaks of grey ran through her mane, but she could hardly be called old (‘middle-aged’ would likely be a more appropriate term). “Trying to seduce a poor mare for your own nefarious desires?”
Price rolled his eyes. “Hello, Writ…”
“Oh, hush up,” the mare ordered, reaching her hooves out to Lilligold. “And hello to you too, Lilligold.”
Lilligold took both of the mare’s hooves and smiled back at her. “It’s a pleasure to be here, Miss Written Word.”
“Tsk, tsk,” Written Word said with a shake of the head. “Nopony is ‘Miss’ or ‘Mr’ or ‘Prince Lord Ultimate Baron’ at a party, Liligold. Just call me Writ like everypony else.”
“Alright,” Lilligold nervously affirmed.
“So, Price, I see you’ve met our plant planner for the evening. Think she did an adequate job?”
“Oh, it looks more than adequate, Writ. I’m no wedding planner, but I’d certainly say that this is fit for a wedding.”
“That seems to be the general agreement. Worthy of an invitation to the event itself, no?”
“Very much so.”
“Well, it’s what I’d expect from Hoofston’s best gardener.” She turned to Lilligold. “This ought to drum up business for you, huh?”
Lilligold nodded. “Oh yes. But honestly, I really don’t need that much of an influx. Glimmering Gardens is doing fairly well as is.”
Writ shook her head. “Listen to her; so modest in her grand achievement. No wonder you’re trying to steal her away, Price,” she said with a wink. Lilligold blushed slightly, while Price just rolled his eyes again.
“I’m not trying to steal her away. I’m just trying to create pleasant conversation.”
“That’s what they all say,” Writ said, winking towards Lilligold, who couldn’t help but giggle.
“Hoo, boy,” Price sighed.
“But don’t worry, Lilligold,” Writ began. “If you two seem to go beyond ‘pleasent conversation’, you can rest easy knowing you’ve got yourself a white knight.”
“Oh Celestia, Writ! Will you stop?!”
“No no no, listen! He got into a fight last week over some wannabe writer calling me names! Darn near broke his hoof for the trouble!” She pointed down to his right hoof, where small tints of black and blue lined the edges where the hoof and leg met.
“Oh my goddess…” Price mumbled, attempting to hide his right hoof.
“Such tenacity for a nomadic reporter! I tell you, if I was younger and not his boss, I’d have leaped into his arms a week ago and let him carry me off into the sunset.” Lilligold’s giggles reached fever pitch, while Price’s annoyed grunts died away into modest groans.
“Wait,” Lilligold gasped between her giggles. “You’re his boss?”
“Sure am! I’ve been his editor for the past 5 years. Made sure he doesn’t ever give the Grazette a boring story. And I’ll tell you, his little scuffle in Saddlina was certainly not a bore.”
“Knock it off, Writ!” Price said angrily. “You’re over exaggerating it!”
“Look at him,” Writ gaped. “Modest as well! I’m surrounded by the morally uncorrupt!” She shook her head and started walking towards the stage. “I’ll talk to you two later. I’ve got to go find some ponies that’ll stop being a bunch of Boy Scouts!”
“You do that,” Price replied irritably.
Lilligold looked at Price worriedly. “Price? Are you alright?”
“I’m fine, Lilligold. Just...not in the mood for Writ’s jests tonight.”
“Oh.” She paused. “It’s about that fight, isn’t it?”
Price sighed. “It’s not the noble act Writ was saying it was, Lilligold. That pony was calling her names, yeah, but in the end, I just got really angry and punched him. Simple as that.”
“Oh,” Lilligold quietly said.
“I pride myself on being a lot of things, Lilligold. Being thin-skinned is not one of them. Hell, I’m lucky I wasn’t arrested.”
“...Well, I still think it is kind of noble.”
Price looked back at her, an annoyed expression on his face. “You going to call me a knight as well?”
“No,” Lilligold laughed. “But I think I will call you very considerate.”
“Coming from ‘Hoofston’s best gardener’, I’ll take that as a compliment. Speaking of which… we’ve been talking a lot about me; what about you, Lilligold?”
“Me? Oh, well, I’m just a gardener.”
Price shook his head. “Writ was right; you are modest. Really, what is it that makes you who you are?”
“Well...gardening!”
“Other than that!” he moaned exasperatedly.
“I’m sorry!” she laughed. “But I really am focused on gardening and gardening only!”
“I’m focused on writing; that doesn’t mean I base my entire personality off it!”
“Well...here, c’mon!”
“What?”
“C’mon! I need to show you something!” She took off towards the other side of the hall. She winded through the various guests, letting out a flurry of ‘excuse mes’ and ‘pardon mes’. Eventually, she led him to the other side of the room, where a lone table stood near the wall. On it, a small plant rested.
“Here, take a look,” Lilligold beamed as she pointed toward the plant. “A purewater lilly. Created yesterday, by yours truly, for this very occasion!”
Price leaned in to inspect the flower, and an audible gasp escaped his lips.
“It’s made of water! And...and the water’s moving!” he exclaimed.
“Yes, it is,” Lilligold said, her smile growing wider as she saw his astonishment. “Purewater lillies aren’t just made of water...they flow like water too!”
Price couldn’t help but shake his head. “Incredible…” He turned back to Lilligold. “Honestly, this is really something. Deserves to be in the papers.”
“Oh, it was a few years back. Back when I made my first few as a young child.”
“And they were this good?”
“Hah! Heavens no. They all dissolved after a few days when the enchantment wore off. This one is a more perfected specimen, which will last as long as it is watered every day.”
Price looked back at the plant, his eyes still enamored with the sparkling lilly. It continued to move and shimmer, all while still keeping the basic shape of a flower. The red colors around the room passed through the water. The mixture of reds looked akin to a kaleidoscope; they molded and fleshed together at some points while completely separating at others.
There was only one word for it.
“Amazing,” he uttered. “Just amazing.”
“This is why I’m a gardener. This right here gave me my cutie mark and my sole focus in life.”
“I can see why. I wouldn’t want to do anything else if I could create such beauty.”
Lilligold patted him on the shoulder. “I’m sure you write just as wonderfully as I grow plants.”
“Heh. You’re doing yourself a disservice. I write about current events or silly fantasies. There’s no beauty to those-”
“Nonsense! Surely you’ve written something grand before…”
“Lilligold, thank you for your praises, but-”
“Price.” Lilligold grabbed his head and forced his attention away from the plant back to her. “Stop it.”
“What are you-”
“Price, listen. You may have more of a talent with words, but I've got to tell you something.” She sighed softly, then straightened herself. “You’ve been taught throughout your life to be humble and unselfish. And while those are very important things, where I grew up, I was taught that there was one other thing more important than those. Do you know what that was?”
Price shook his head.
“Self-respect. It is not a selfish or evil kind of love, but a basic love; a love that lets a pony live with himself each day. It is a love that allows a pony to love others. After all, how can a pony love and cherish others if he can not bring himself to love himself?”
“I don’t know who you are outside of this party, Price. I’m not sure what you’ve done or what you’ve said. Who you hurt or loved or...whatever it is that reporters do when they write about things. But for now, I believe you to be a good pony. It may not be entirely true, but I believe it. Writ believes it, and she knows you far better than I do.
“Now, you need to believe it yourself. Because frankly, I can’t stand seeing a pony hate himself for everything he does, even if what he does is right.”
She stopped and took a deep breath, closing her eyes as the air rushed into her lungs. Price stood motionless, his head still firmly in her hooves. His mouth hung open slightly, astonishment plastered on his face.
“Wow,” he said as Lilligold opened her eyes. “You sure your special talent isn’t in motivational speaking?”
“That depends,” she said with a smile. “You feeling very motivated?”
“I’m not sure...I’m still trying to process that, for the first time tonight, you spoke more than 10 words in a single sentence.”
She quickly brought her hooves to her mouth, desperate to muffle her laughter.
Price grinned back. “Well, if I’m not a good pony, I’m at least a funny one.” He stood up straight, looking her straight in the eyes. “But seriously, Lilligold...Wow. That...that was way deeper than I thought it would be…”
Lilligold reached out and put her hoof on his. “Don’t worry. A lot of us ponies can think we’re undeserving of recognition. It’s normal. I just...just don’t want you to leave tonight hating yourself because I made you feel bad or inferior.”
“Oh, trust me, you wouldn’t be the reason I’d hate myself. But thanks regardless.”
Lilligold smiled. “Well, that’s what friends are for, right?”
Price stared at her a moment. “Is that what we are now? Friends?”
“I don’t see why not.”
“Hmm...Yes, I don’t see why not, either.” He returned his gaze back to her. “So, Lilligold, my friend, would you like another drink?”
“Yes,” she nodded. “But only if you call me Lilly from now on.”
“Alright...Lilly.”
“Fillies and Gentlecolts,” a loud voice called out. The guests all turned their heads toward the stage, where the groom stood tall in his red tuxedo. “I want to thank you all for coming and celebrating Scarlet and I’s wedding. But alas, the time has come and we must all leave. Please have a safe journey home, and I wish you well.”
Lilligold and Price looked at each other.
“Well, this party was getting dull anyway,” Price said with a knowing smile.
The two made their way toward the doors of the hall, which now were crowded as the guests all pushed their way out. Eventually, the two ponies made their way out the doors and towards the street. It was dark now, and the streetlights were glowing as hard as they could. The crowd disbanded, going every which way back to their homes and hotel rooms.
As Lilly and Price reached the corner of Maple and 1st, they stopped.
“Well, I’m going to head on back to my hotel,” Price said softly.
Lilly nodded, then stuck out her hoof. “It was nice to meet you, Price Back.” He took hold of the hoof.
“Likewise, Lilligold.” He released his grip and took a deep breath. “I’ll try to be the pony you believe me to be.”
Lilligold shrugged. “Self-respect is like water, Price; pour it on a plant enough and the plant will grow up strong.”
“Wow. Now I’m impressed that you waited this long to make a gardening pun.”
Lilligold smiled. “See you later, Price.” She turned toward 1st Street and began to walk down it. Price stared, watching her get smaller and smaller in the distance.
“Hey, Lilly!” he called out. She turned back toward him.
“Yeah?” she called out.
“Is Glimmering Gardens open tomorrow?”
No answer.
“Lilly? Is Glimmering Gardens open tomorrow?”
“Yes...but for friends only.”
Price smiled. “Thank you.” He waved, and she returned the gesture. Then, she continued her walk down 1st Street. He watched her for several minutes, looking on as she grew smaller ansd smaller in the distance. Eventually, he could see her no more; she was so deep into the darkness that not even the Moon made her visible.
“Well,” Price said to nopony in particular. “I guess I’d better write something beautiful. Something beautiful...for my friend.”
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Lilligold's Author Vote
I have a sneaking suspicion that I have a lot of good entries to look forward to as I keep reading, if what I've read so far is any indication.
Enjoyed both, and they both seemed like they did the characters justice to me, but I liked Lilligold's more.
I don't really have much more to say, good job, both of you.
Lilligold's Author
Holy crap, I surrender. Lilligold wins the contest. We've been hustled, guys! I don't know what happened between rounds, but whatever it was gave LIlligold's author superpowers of writing. And I was so disappointed with her Round 1 entry! Seriously, what happened?
This is the first time in the whole contest that I've read something and thought, "Wow, I wish this was a longer story!" That opening, with Written Word telling Price Back about Elmshire, got me really excited to see what came next. Just that description of the city, the sights to see... dang.
I wasn't at all impressed with Lilligold as a character before, but I never realized just how much room for creativity there is with her plants. And her author used them to show us Lilligold's character instead of just being a sideshow. And the same goes for Price Back. I loved his Round 1 stories, but I didn't realize how much they left out about character. I don't think I would have if I hadn't read this thing. I had to go back and re-read the character bios because of all this stuff I missed from Round 1, like Price's impatience and Lilligold's desire to stay out of the spotlight. This author took those bios and made art with them. I mean, look at this!
Price Back goes off on his rant and Lilligold just kind of whimpers, until he smacks a cactus. He roars and the pot smashes, and she goes for the cactus. I had chills.
Price Back's author did a really good job, too, but this is as tough as the competition gets. Sorry, buddy. You write great comedy, but not so great slice-of-life, apparently.
On another note, it seems that you can't write a story about Price Back without some serious meta overtones. Go back and look at the conversation between Price Back and Written Word about Lilligold's plants from Lilligold's story and Lilligold's whole speech to Price Back from the second one, and tell me these aren't self-aware OC's commenting on each other and this contest. Here, have some quotes:
Seriously. They know what's up.
And this:
orig14.deviantart.net/28ef/f/2010/144/c/4/viola_motivational_poster_by_agw7897.jpg
Lilligold's Author
I think, in this case, it was the far superior piece.
The only criticism I would make of Lilligold's Author is that he or she decided to embark on a fairly strenuous emotional swing to anger and back - in my personal opinion that transition felt too rapid and I would have liked to see it develop a bit slower. Other then that it was a fine piece of work.
I think Price Back's author needed to spend less time talking and more time showing us things. I know it sounds strange to say 'show not tell', but I think a big part of very good authors is their ability and capacity to imply things through their writing rather than just saying everything that comes to mind. I think Price Back's author shows a lot of potential and I would encourage him or her to keep up the work.
Lilligold's Author
I read these stories before reading the character sheets. Lilligold's author's story made them come to life.
Lilligold's Author
Okay. Okay. I was worried—I was cringing—when Lilligold's author had Price back give his little 'hear me out' speech. Conflicts like that don't just disappear in real life, and it felt like that was what was going to happen. And then it didn't. It felt perfectly novel, if only because it had me so firmly expecting that it was going to be cliché. Brilliant.
And then in Price Back's author's entry, I had something of a similar reaction to Lilligold's 'respect yourself' speech. And it wound up being played utterly straight…
As I read Price Back's author's entry, I felt this really unpleasant sort of distance. It started off with a good many things being described to me just because they were there—or that's what it felt like. And that's sort of a weird thing to say, because the word for that is "scene-setting", and it's a thing you do, but Idunno. There was nothing to invest me before we got into the nitty gritty of how everything I'm yet to be invested in looks. And the gritty wasn't very nitty where it really mattered, even: "wreaths of coral flowers adorned the windows" is the most specific and 'interesting' description of flora to be found before we're eventually told to believe that Lilligold "did an adequate job" of growing/placing it all—that it's "fit for a wedding" and "[very much] worthy of an invitation to the event itself" and "what [one would] expect from Hoofston’s best gardener." I just couldn't connect.
Relatedly, the characters in that piece felt a bit off as well. Until the two major characters said their names to each other, they felt like they could have been anyone (though one of the anyones had some scars, I guess). And then until some references to profession came up, they could've been anyone who had our main characters' names. And then until Written Word shows up (who finally breathed a little bit of life in, in that she was the one who most felt like she had a pulse), they're anyone who had our main characters' names and vaguely referenced professions. What I'm getting at is that even if some of the details are there, it felt like I was reading about two 'wedding attendee' stock characters for way too long.
Plus Price Back initiated and fed a time-wasting conversation. You know, one of those things he hates so much.
Plus plus, it could've done with a touch more editing. Plus plus plus, there were some choice bits (not hard errors) that had me all,
"W
h
a?"
But Lilligold's author's entry was a fine read. The characters felt themselves, the plot and interactions weren't as… weirdly chosen. I find myself wanting to complain about very little, except that if Lilligold's author moves on to the next round, I'd want to get a sense of her character as she exists outside of the shop, as Price Back's author tried to do.
Lilligold's author
+1 to everything that's already been said. Lilligold's piece was such a delightful little showcase for both characters.
Lilligold's Author
Felt way more natural in Lilligold's Author's entry, and leaving it open-ended filled me with hope for a future between these two, something I didn't get from Price's Author's entry.
Lilligold's Author
Just knocked it right out of the park.
Lilligold's Author
Overall this was a deeper, less compromising examination of both characters. I left the story feeling knew them both much better as individuals, in particular the passion each one had for their chosen vocation (okay chosen for them by whatever agency created their cutie-marks!)
Still, both were excellent stories and great reads.
Lilligold's Author
Lilligold's story had a much more natural flow to it, and it showcased so much of both characters seamlessly. Even Price Back's tendency to get injured was in there in some capacity. Price's author did a decent job, but a lot of the details in that story felt superfluous. It set the stage well, but for no real reason. The setting and plot both felt a little forced too. Still, I enjoyed both stories. Both authors should be proud.
One more thing. From Lilligold's story:
Is that supposed to be, like, "pretty penny?" I like it.
6086859
You just made my day. Thank you! ♥
Third time in as many stories that the opposing OC has been mean to poor Liligold. Let's see if we can make four.
Liligold's author
So I'm a little uncertain of just what to say here. I'm voting for Liligold because it at least came to a meaningful ending, whereas Price's entry was just kind of a conversation. Worse, the conversation got corny in places, and that ending, ugh.
The formula with Liligold is that someone comes into her shop so that they can learn about her awesome plants, and then learn about Liligold herself. Both times it won by virtue of good execution, and both times it's had similar flaws. Mix it up next round, if you make it.
Lilligold's Author
Okay, we've got a tidal wave of support, and this one might be round 2's blowout . . . and it deserves it. I could rehash what everybody else has said, but I'm just going to write down the positives and negatives I wrote down as I was reading:
Lilligold's author
+ worldbuilding
+ subtle meta
+ structure
+ pacing
This is, without a doubt, the best entry of the contest.
Price Back's Author
Cute and fluffy story, with very natural dialogue. At the same time, the setting felt a bit contrived--better than a bar, though. It's very technically proficient . . . but it went up against a very very solid entry.
Lilligold's Author
Lilligold's Author
The character interactions felt more natural in the first story.
LILLIGOLD’S AUTHOR
Intraview
Liked: Written Word. That you had a background character pop that much only shows how well you treated the main characters.
Disliked: That wasn’t the neon cactus, was it? ;_; The poor thing!
Self-Respect
Liked: Written Word! She totally steals the show!
Disliked: Unfortunately, she totally steals the show, and the other two are fairly dull by comparison, Price Back especially.
Price Back's Author
Well, this is a strange minority to be in. First a few things that irk me. Neither of you italicized The Grazette, the name of a newspaper. Price Back, it's 'voila', not 'viola'. And Lilligold, you wrote 'cheezy'. Back to Price Back, please do not write numerals, that makes us sad. Also, it's 'lily', with one l. I mean, that's all nitpicking I suppose, but it's the little things that really snap me out of a piece.
In this line, I want to both congratulate you on making Written Word pretty much the best OC around. Seriously, I loved her in both. And while some people have said her stealing the show in the latter takes away from the piece, to me it's still showing the author's writing ability. I will say, be careful how much you define Price Back via others. I think his interactions with Lilligold here are still excellent, but this is likely why you're losing. Which I think is a damn shame.
Now, the interactions in Lilligold's story were great, too. Except for those pair of speeches. Yes, Price Back had one too, but it was one (and was the admitted worse part of the story), vs. Lilligold's two. Neither were particularly natural sounding, and could've been handled much better. Plus, it's so inherently cliche when one character is overly shy/sensitive for the other to snap and then the shy character snaps back. That being said, overall, it wasn't bad. But I don't really get the praise being lauded here. The light touches of romance and flirting in the second were far more entertaining, not to mention immersing, than the first. Lilligold, you did have a stellar ending. I'll give you that. The rest, though, often had moments that felt stilted and unnatural.
So both were good, but Price Back, you definitely had far more enjoyable and believable characters.
Lilligold's Author
Both stories are good and both authors have a knack for writing dialog. What makes me side with Lilligold is that her story is built around a conflict that stems naturally from the two characters' contrasting personalities.
Lilligold's Author
While it's merely a drop in the bucket at this point, I think the obvious winner is the former story. Better flow, greater voice, and much more sound mechanics takes the win.
That said, the more I read of Lilligold, the less I like her. As at least one other commenter has noted, each of their entries thus far has been formulaic, with the focus almost always on her awesome shop and her perfect plants. While I hesitate to toss the S-word out there, she nonetheless adheres to a number of the forms of the archetype, such as exceptional talents, overbearing humility, excessive demureness, and again, disproportionate focus. Further, her interactions with other characters seem engineered to tick all of the boxes on her character sheet, leading to some stilted emotional displays. This is demonstrated even in this piece--her personality flips between whimsical excitement, to shyer-than-Fluttershy, to petulant anger, to teary resignation, all in the space of a few paragraphs. Perhaps this is simply the result of compression to fit the word limit, but it nonetheless feels less like characterization and more like evidence of some psychological abnormality, or worse, artificiality.
Lilligold's Author
I'm just voting to vote, here, regardless of whether to not it will actually have an impact.
vote: Lilligold's author
Price Back's Author
Given the votes already given, I doubt this one'll do anything. But heck, I'll do it regardless.
I will agree with most of the voters that Lilligold's story is closer to the characters original portrayal, as well as slightly more competently written. This isn't a story where I'm totally aghast at the voting behavior; I perfectly understand why people are voting overwhelmingly for Lilligold.
That being said, I feel like Price's story had a far more interesting setup. The idea of the characters meeting at a wedding is one I haven't seen much in this contest, and it was done in a way that I could buy for the most part. Lilligold's story, for all its pluses, just repeated the same story situation from her last story: Opposite OC comes to her store and causes her problem, making her shoo them out. Granted, this one felt more natural, but it felt like it was the last story just revised to fit the opposing OC more.
I also felt like Price's story examined Price Back's inner character more. Whether it succeeded entirely is up for debate, but I liked how Price's author at least tried to examine why he is the way he is. Lilligold's author tried to do something like that with Lilligold, but just sort of reiterated what her last story said: She wants to be alone with her store. Also, I liked Price's version of Written Word more; it felt a lot more fun than Lilligold's Writ, who just sort of felt blandly nice and professional. More realistic to a real working relationship perhaps, but not nearly as interesting.
In the end, Lilligold is going to advance to the next round because she technically made a story that's more competent and is slightly more true to the characters. But I'm going to vote for Price simply because it felt like Price's author tried to do something different; it may not have succeeded entirely, but it at least took a risk.
Lilligold's Author
The ending was initially unsatisfying, but the more I thought about it, the more I liked it. And once I liked that ending, it was a really easy choice for me.