Gravity Of The Situation

If I hadn't...

Should I have...?

Would It be the same if I...?

Oh who cares!

(Note: Sex Tag is for suggestive content and future chapters. this is what most call: a 'Harem' fiction, if you do not like literary content of this kind, please do not come and be rude. Constructive Critisizm is always appreciated. Thanks!)

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 8 )

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June

June #1 · Jun 17th, 2015 · · · Chapter 1 - The Beginning. ·

What I liked: Fire

What I disliked: the writing was kinda awkward, and the capitalization seems random. Some words that shouldn't be capitalized are capitalized, and ones that are supposed to be aren't.

theguysaidhi

theguysaidhi #2 · Jun 17th, 2015 · · · Chapter 1 - The Beginning. ·

(Note: Sex Tag is for suggestive content and future chapters. this is what most call: a 'Harem' fiction, if you do not like litterary content of this kind, please do not come and be rude. Constructive Critisizm is always appreciated. Thanks!)

i htae ur proose. thats my only chrisicism.

Durka Durr

Durka Durr #3 · Jun 18th, 2015 · · · Chapter 1 - The Beginning. ·

Thanks for the Criticizim, (totally in a good way) I really appreciate it,

What I disliked: the writing was kinda awkward, and the capitalization seems random. Some words that shouldn't be capitalized are capitalized, and ones that are supposed to be aren't.

I say this truthfully, Im a completely new fanfiction writer, and i dont exactly know the ropes and ties of writing. I really Appreciate the help though, itll make for BETTER CHAPTERS!