The Doctor, Derpy and Tick Tock discover a little foal with a more powerful past than she know's. I do not own Doctor Whooves and Assiatant all credit goes to Ponies With Pockets Production. I only own the characters in the everfree forest town.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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You had me into this until this last chapter.
This has tons of typos missing words and awkward syntax (Seriously just re read this before posting and fix it.) but it has a good story and good character depiction. A bit fast getting things started but I get that. You had me so interested in these shadowers..... until you copied the sirens and made them less mysterious and kind took away all there allure.... While confusing me with your bad grammar and choppy-ness.
I think this could be an amazing story, slow down and re read, tighten up the plot. That is all the advice I can give you.
5636820
Well thank you for the advice. I'll do my best to take it. And also do my best to get you in it again. I'm working on something, but I can't tell you what because spoilers.
Thank you anyway
I followed your sentences better this time so good job on that! but you still kinda leave me underwhelmed with the plot. You've still got me sticking around though, I'm looking forward to seeing the next chapter.
5904015
I know the plot's a bit crazy. But it'll make more sense later on in the story. Also pay close attention to how the Shadowers treat the other ponies and compare that to how they treat Orangecream since there will be a trend with that that will eventually led to a big reveal. But I can't tell you much else because, well.... Spoilers!
What is with the length of the lines? Is your enter key stuck?
6637504 What do you mean? The characters just have more to talk about in this chapter because, well, the climax is coming up.
6640358
No I mean you look like you kept hitting the enter key at random times, each line of text is only a few words long.
6640392 Oh that. That was just because something messed up the spacing when I tried to get this chapter from Google Drive. I went back and fixed it.