After the events of Rainbow Rocks, a school boy from Canterlot High followed after Twilight Sparkle from the portal into Equestria...A story about a little slice of life with some shenanigans to follow. Twilight SparklexOC Shipping for the fun of it because why not?
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Alright, I guess I could spend some time helping you out with some constructive criticism.
You might want to scrap a fair amount of your notes at the start; they come across sounding a little aggressive and are only going to invite more trolls rather than scare them off.
Maybe use the word 'Effeminate' here?
Who associates their entire life with their school? Shouldn't this be 'in my world' or 'my home' ? Also, what about family, friends, commitments and such? (note, this does not give you a greenlight to write out a long series of exposition on how terrible his life was, so many bad stories go for that, it's not fun. You can give him a miserable life if you want, but the 'show don't tell' rule applies unless you can work in backstory much later of him working through his issues at Twilight's insistence)
I totally missed that he was a Pegasus on my first pass of this. I would say to make a bigger deal over that fact, but it may just be me.
The use of caps to try and force the reader into reading each sentence with emphasis on the words you want the emphasis to be on gets old really quickly. If your sentence flow doesn't allow the reader to do this naturally, it probably needs work. (If you really do feel the need to do this on occasion with the odd sentence, go with italics. Italics are your friend.)
It’s HiE (Human-in-Equestria). There’s a lot of HiE stories on here so it’s going to be judged pretty harshly from the get-go. (That is, unless you pull off something completely fresh to the trope and/or totally amazing with it.)
People who like HiE aren't getting any of the stuff that made HiE stories popular in the first place. Did Balance freak out after getting out of the mirror?
Did he fall out of the mirror just after twilight into a room full of the princesses and royal guard and suffer a long and socially-awkward silence?
(I'm currently assuming, by a few cues so far, that he came back with Twilight and with Twilight's knowledge. Which, for the record, is probably the worst way I can think of it going down. I hope I'm mistaken)
Did it take him another two and a half years of waiting for the mirror to open again and land himself in a locked storage room?
How did he react to everything and everyone?
What misunderstandings from cultural norms separated him from the ponies? You talk about him trying to learn ‘everything’ about Equestria, just how bad was it for him before he started doing this?
Just starting up without addressing any of this leaves out a whole bunch of potential fun (and ways of setting up Balance with Twilight without things seeming forced).
Maybe half of the downvotes are from “Who the hell is this random guy and why does he deserve to be with Twilight?”. You haven’t had anything happen to him in the story yet. He hasn't had to deal with any conflict to let readers get an insight into his character beyond the following:
HE TOLD TWILIGHT HOW TO TREAT HER OWN BOOKS! FO' SHAME! D: [/joke]
This is a big part of the reason so many people hate Flash Sentry. He has no character beyond simply existing.
So yeah, the story could be made quite entertaining with some more work.
Introduce the character and his life a little before you do the shipping, have a bit of fun with the culture-shock and don't let Balance get in Twilight's way while she's doing her book-thing and you'll have something people could up-vote in good conscience.
Best of luck,
Naiba.