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A Confusing Announcement1,699 words
An Interesting Debate.1,157 words
Bathroom Talk.1,917 words

Bathroom Talk.

“We’re home!” Twilight announced to her latest addition as they entered the library.

“Yay,” Pandemonium jumped like a squirrel who found his nuts, bouncing all over the place before accidentally knocking a shelf of books.

“Uh oh.” He murmured to his upside down self as Spike’s jaw dropped and Twilight wore a scowl that could bring down a castle.

“Pandemonium, look at the mess you did!” Twilight’s horn came alive as she levitated the shelf, books, and her new son, restoring the shelf and the books on top with a loud crack then floated the foal to her eye level.

“I’m sorry,” Pandemonium tried his hardest to avoid looking directly into his mother’s eyes from his already compromised position.

Twilight huffed, “look, I’ll let this one slide since is the first day for both of us,” she set him down in the center of the room, “However, if we are going to work together, there will be some ground rules.”

“You tell him Twi,” Spike cheered as he closed the front door after putting the ‘closed’ sign.

“Listen carefully Pandemonium, I’d rather not repeat myself,” Pandemonium’s ears perked, his eyes shining in attention. Twilight puffed her chest then started walking back and forth in front of Pandemonium, “Rule number one: No running, no bouncing, no jumping, no skipping in the library, is that clear?”

Pandemonium nodded eagerly as he tried to put his best I’m here to please expression. “Rule number two: you break it you fix it, understood?”

Pandemonium’s moment of hesitation did not go unnoticed, “What is it?” Twilight snapped.

“What if I don’t know how?” Twilight thought for a moment, he did just raise a good point, even Spike can’t fix everything, should she really be enforcing such rigid rule?

“Don’t worry, we’ll teach you,” Twilight made a mental note to thank Spike later for his intervention before she changed her mind about the second rule. From a book she once read, one can never go back on his words in front of his kids, or else one might set a bad example in front of them.

“Rule number three: you listen to what I say and you obey any order I give you,” Good one Twilight, now you sound like Shining in one of his training drills, Twilight berated herself for that last rule, she knew parenting wasn’t her forte, but that was no excuse for a shady job at it, I definitely need to research parenting tonight if I’m going to make this work.

She looked down on her newly acquired son, as he looked back at her with a bewildering expression on his face, Twilight relaxed her expression. Maybe Celestia is right, maybe this Discord isn’t trying to trick me or make fun of me, “any questions?” she finished her statement with a rather warm smile.

Pandemonium raised his claw like a pupil in class, the entire thing made Twilight’s heart melt some more as well as increased her doubts, “Yes Panda?”

“I need to pee.”

Okay maybe not. “Alright, bathroom is on top of the stairs second door to your left.”

“But I don’t know how!”

Twilight deadpanned, “What?” her mind raced in a thousand direction, chiefly amongst them was this question: how could he not be potty trained? “What do you want me to do then?”

“Will you teach me?” Pandemonium squirmed as he placed his paw and claw between his hind legs.

Twilight’s mind raced for her to find a solution, I wasn’t there when dad and Shining potty trained Spike! Then the solution hit her like a lightning bolt, “Spike!” she announced before the young dragon managed to sneak away upstairs, “Why don’t you be a good older brother and show little Panda how to pee.”

“No way!” Spike shook his head in disgust, “Do you even know how embarrassing that is? I still have a reputation to keep.”

“What reputation?” Twilight asked sarcastically, “Everypony still knows you still sleep with your teddy bear.”

Spike flushed red, but before he could say anything Pandemonium interjected, “I think I’m going to leak!”

Horrorstruck, Twilight turned to Spike, “I’ll give you an extra tub of ice cream.”

“Make that two and you have a deal.”

With a nod Spike rushed toward Pandemonium, grabbed him by his wrist then whisked him to the bathroom upstairs.

Twilight inhaled a deep breath, “Okay, where is that book about parenting?” she said to nobody in particular. Immediately though, she found the mentioned book and opened it at a random page that caught her interest.

However her research was short lived when the entire library shook under the sound of a hammer mill coming from the upstairs bathroom. Twilight rushed to the scene as the sound turned into that of a sawing mill, just as she reached upstairs the sound turned into nail hammering.

With all her magic Twilight slammed the door open yelling, “What’s going on here?”

The place fell eerily silent all of a sudden, Twilight spotted Pandemonium standing in front of the toilet, voiding his bladder while he peered at her curiously, but saw nothing of her number one assistant.

“Spike? Spike!” Twilight stepped into the bathroom, “where are you?” The door behind her slowly started to close, revealing a smashed Spike behind it.

“Help,” he waved his claws helplessly at her, Twilight immediately pulled him up with her magic.

“Spike!” she exclaimed one more time, “Are you okay? I heard loud noises, what happened here?”

Spike only inhaled in return, “define okay,” he scolded, “what got into you all of a sudden?”

“I heard loud noises so I rushed to make sure everything was alright,” Twilight justified herself as she bore a guilty look.

“Yeah, yeah, we were running through the basics, I was teaching him how to aim and you stormed in like a lunatic smashing me into the wall.” Spike deadpanned.

“Yay!” Pandemonium suddenly bounced from his place then gave Twilight and Spike a big hug, “I finished my pee pee,” he declared with absolute bliss.

Twilight looked at Pandemonium, then turned toward Spike wearing her most horrified look yet, “he didn’t wash after his bathroom break, did he?”

Spike sigh, “didn’t even flush the toilet yet,” he pointed out.

“Ew ew ew ew,” Twilight’s horn suddenly flared brightly, sending both Pandemonium and Spike flying toward the ceiling. As she pranced in her place singing “ew ew ew,” she flushed the toilet, swiped where Pandemonium’s aim was off with the bathroom mop, then turned on the showers, filled the tub with hot water and lots of soap, before finally splashing Pandemonium, Spike, and herself in it at the same time.

“Ahhh,” she exhaled in relaxation as the aroma of cleanliness assaulted her nostrils.

“Well, that was nice,” Spike walked to the edge of the tub, “see ya,” but before he could fumble away from his bath, a purple aura levitated him back in.

“Don’t be silly Spike,” Twilight’s demeanor returned, “We’ll be bathing together from now on.”

“What? Why?” this time, it was Spike who was aghast, “who gave you that idea?”

Twilight smiled sheepishly as she levitated the book she found downstairs, then opened it at the designated random page she stumbled upon earlier, “it says here that for a better bonding experience, family members should try and do things together, like cooking, eating and bathing.”

Spike looked at the cover of the book that looked suspiciously dry, “Twilight? You do realize that you are reading ‘How to raise a nudist child’?”

“So? We are always naked Spike, there is nothing wrong with… Pandemonium stop that” Twilight created a shield to shelter her from the foal’s splashing.

Pandemonium stopped his splashing and giggling and gave his mother a long stare, Twilight simply shook her head, “How did I get into this mess?” she lamented her luck.

“You did touch the egg first,” Spike reminded her unnecessarily.

“Next time, I’m going to have you touch it first,” Twilight replied acidly.

“Don’t take it out on me, I’m in this mess just as you are,” Spike’s frown deepened, “I’m your number one assistant, remember?”

“Mom?” Pandemonium tugged at his mother hoof.

Twilight sighed, then looked down to him, “what is it Panda?” oh great, now I can’t call him by his full name anymore, thanks a lot Shining Armor.

“Do you hate me?”

For the third time in the span of less than ten minutes, Twilight stared in shock at her son, “No, I don’t hate you,” her voice had a very high pitch to it, “what makes you say that?”

Pandemonium grabbed his tail and started fidgeting with its end, “You’ve been frowning at me all day, and I know I did some bad things, I don’t know what they are, but I promise that I won’t do them again, and I keep hearing that I am some bad guy named Discord who hurt everypony, but I swear, I’m not him, I didn’t hurt anypony and I don’t want to never, ever, ever. So please mommy, please, don’t hate me,” tears swelled in Pandemonium’s eyes leaving a sharp pang in Twilight’s heart.

Either Discord is that great of an actor, or this is really happening. Twilight thought as Pandemonium broke into a sob. With a shake of her head and a small giggle, Twilight Sparkle took Pandemonium into a soft hug, “hush, little one,” she cooed until Pandemonium stopped crying, “Mommy just had a very rough day that is all. Of course I don’t hate you, how can I ever hate those beautiful big eyes?” Twilight nuzzled the little draconequus before wiping away his tears. Pandemonium giggled softly before setting into his mother’s hug.

Spike stared at the odd couple in confusion, “are you sure about this?” he asked, unsure himself of what prompt that change.

“If we, his closest family, aren’t going to give him the benefit of a doubt, then who will?” Twilight argued.

“If you say so…” Twilight could tell that Spike’s uncertainty was there from the long look he gave to the edge of the tub.

“I can count on you with this, can I?” Twilight held a firm gaze on the dragon.

Sensing what’s going on around him, Pandemonium let go of Twilight then gave Spike his most pleading look.

Spike’s mouth suddenly hung open, those are the cutest puppy dog eyes I have ever seen, then a thought occurred to him, I can use him to get Rarity, then he remembered something Shining Armor told him about using Twilight to woo Cadance, huh, Shining might be right about this after all.

“Of course you can,” he then saluted her.

“Yay,” Pandemonium jumped in joy before rushing Spike with a hug with of course Spike’s protest.

Twilight watched as the dragon tried to away from the draconequus’s hug, my boys, she thought, I should get used to that, I think.

“Hey, let’s play a game of pretend,” Pandemonium suggested.

“If it gets you to stop hugging me, sure,” Spike finally managed to push Pandemonium away.

“Alright then,” Twilight interjected, “I’ll get the rubber toys,” let’s hope I’ll never come to regret this.

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