Looking forward to chapter 2 >w< sounds nice and romantic so far.

A simple romance. I like it! Looking forward to part 2.

Seems quite promising so far. Pretty simple and direct, but still interesting and endearing thus far. Looking forward to seeing how her confession plays out!

Looking forward to more!

A good start to the story pusspuss. :)

Btw, I thought there would be clop in this chapter. I am disappointed, for now. >:)

There are quite a few errors in spelling, grammar not so much. You need a better editor, and I would like to nominate myself.
If you need help with anything just let me know. I've been told my stories specialize in the lewd, so if you need help especially with the clop, don't hesitate to ask me. You can read my FoE fic for an example. *shameless self promoting*

Also pusspuss,it is an unspoken rule that all artists, especially one with your talent, illustrate the clop scenes in their own stories. Its a tradition, so DON'T question it just DO IT :DDD

Looking forward to seeing it on FA.....hehehhe

Didn't see all that many spelling and grammar errors (though there were some that snuck through - e.g., "over do" should be "overdue"). Most of the errors were in word usage. (e.g., "main" when you meant to write "mane," "threw" when you meant to write "through," and "waist" when you meant to write "waste" - funny, usually that last one is the other way around...)

Still, this is a pretty good start, and I'm looking forward to more.

Ok did anyone else laugh a little when Lyra was ranting on about how much she loved this guy and how much she loved his hands? Haha classic anyways I found this adorable I think bon bon is a great friend and would always have your back if she was your friend and I swear to God if that guy breaks my favorite human obsessed ponies heart...there's gonna be one less human in equestria

And wait you paint?..Wow sir/madam I must say you got talent I've seen writers write this stuff before but this got me in my heart your really good at showing friendship and generosity all in one story well done! Your a great painter and writer!

230 degrees isn't even in the soft ball stage(240-245) which is the minimum stage for making the candy known as caramel(not to be confused with Caramelized sugar which doesn't start until 320 degrees and is perfect at precisely 338 degrees) though some prefer it to be in the firm ball stage(245-250) for their caramels, as it makes a chewier treat.

5471001

The more you know~

nicely written so far, just a few little errors left.

here's to hoping for some lyrabon in the future

Great story, and I can overlook some small grammar and spelling mistakes.
Definitely looking forward to the update!

My dear Author,

Would you like another editor, to catch all the admittedly small mistakes that were left in the story?

~ARTL

5470847 Wow that was a lot of silly stuff that I should have caught on my own. Well thank you for pointing them out. I went back and fixed them. Next time I will try to be more careful.

5471001 Whoops. Not sure why put it at 230, but I went back and fixed it for you. I was using a recipe I used and even that didn't say 230. Not sure what I was thinking.

5470916 Hehe, I'm glad you are enjoying the story so far, I'm curious to see what you think about chapter 2 when its up.

5471806 I would, but I got a few others that are helping me now. Thank you for the offer though.

5472036 there we go, the story is much more palatable now that that candy catastrophe has been corrected

I wanna see more of this.

Watched.
People might say it's overdone, but I love human/Lyra stories.

i love it well done

This is going to be so cute. Lyra as lovestruck and Bon playing the part of a dour friend just feels like such a good fit.

Seems promising.
I can't wait for the next chapter.

A simple, yet cute shipping with a human and Lyra. Seems great so far.
Care to continue?
----------------------------
-REVIEW TIME-
I didn't see any grammar mistakes, or perhaps I missed some, but you are doing good so far! Keep going, I think you can wrap up this more.

5474293 You mean make it shorter? Did you think it was too long? And thank you!

5474350 That's... not what I meant. What I really meant was that you have a nice story here. Play your cards right and you might have an awesome story.

5474369 Oh well thank you! I hope what I have planed out is enjoyable for everyone. Chapter 2 is in the process of being edited, and chapter 3 is being written right now, so we will soon see if what I got is good enough hehe.

5474381 Compared to other stories, yeah, yours is much better.

5474381
Other than making sure to clearly mark and make it easy to skip over the inevitable upcoming horse porn, I can't think of much that you could be doing better. I didn't even notice any really blatant grammar or spelling mistakes. Be more confident! :-)

5474694 I will make the more sexy parts skiable. I know not everyone here likes that kind of stuff, so it will be in its own chapter.

5474713
Couldn't ask for more. I hope chapter 2 is finished soon.

I really like this, it's a human x Lyra that hits all of the right notes, out of the gate no less.

Just a few mistakes. Depending on how many there were originally, I think your editor did a good job. He/she really just needs to pick up some experience with editing and he/she will do great. If you need any help, I'm not too busy, though.

Amazing art by the way!

Could be good. Setup is a bit generic, but that hardly tells us much about the rest of the story.

5478226 Where did the chapter go!

Hm? How come this is at the top of my most recent updated stories?

Honestly, I've seen some atrocious grammar on this site but there's none of that here. Sure, it could use some polishing but the story is simple and satisfying thus far. Have a fave and like, sir.

The earth mare sighed. “If that happens, then at least you can say you have your answer. Then you can start moving on with your life, and no matter what happens…” Bon Bon stepped a little closer to the panicky unicorn, putting a hoof under her chin, so she could lift her head up. She smiled lovingly to her friend before continuing. “You will always have me.”

I'm sorry, but I had to point this out, The Shipping!! The Unintentional Shipping!!

I really enjoy this story, I'm a sucker for love confessions like this Really excited for more! :D

However, I did notice quite a few things that could either be changed or SHOULD be changed (which I will PM you momentarily as it's quite a long list and would make this comment a wall of text, don't fret however, as most of them are common mistakes and all around minor things)

oh my goodness this is a great story! im a sucker for lyra ship fics!

let me tell you the art you made for the story is amazing! and also you're pretty good at writing! im excited to see what happens :3

There's a few tense and grammar mistakes, and you seem too generous with your commas but it's good overall. 6.5/10

Seems like an interesting start to a fun story. Looking forward to more.

Just one question, and I hope no one takes this the wrong way. I've read several Lyra/Human fics so far, and I'm really curious as why this is such a head-canon to everyone that Lyra obsesses over humans, specifically our "hands." Where does it come from? I've never seen it in the show. If anyone can answer, thanks in advance.

5483043 http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/sitting-lyra

but I was tired of being a creeper on this sight,

It always starts out with being a creeper...the next thing you know, you're writing the same sort of stories you were creeping on...

It's creepy, I tell ya!

Nice chapter, but there's a couple of things you want to edit.

“I have to tell him! I have to tell him how I feel before its too late!”

That should be "it's".

“I’m not sure… I know he doesn’t understand our culture too well, so anything I would normally do to pick up a stallion wont work, trust me I tried...”

And that should be "won't".

So amazing so far!!! You really captured Lyra and Bon Bon's personalities by 100%!!!

5632967

Erm, what personalities? Not to say this author hasn't given them some nice characterization in the first chapter but Lyra and Bon Bon are BG ponies and have had like ZERO screen time outside of a few minor appearances and the canterlot wedding.

5629565 Generally, things involving apostrophes, such as Saxon genitive

Also "even Rarity thought it was horrible"... they don't think highly of Rarity's taste, do they?

What's wrong with creeping 38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkvs52Zdv01qh874so1_500.gif

A nice sweet, little romance. I'm kind of curious now.