• Member Since 27th Aug, 2011
  • offline last seen May 6th, 2016

Strange Dandy


Comments ( 6 )

Your description isn't accurate. Silver loses its luster, gold does not.

Very short but very nice too!

26102
Every atom will eventually decay into lead (the most stable element; more than gold {I'm talking about nucleus physics, not chemical bonding}). Even gold.

Aw, that was such a sweet story :twilightsmile:

A little brisk, in my (and probably only my) opinion, but then again that does match the storyline rather well. I liked the little asides to show the changes in Ponyville, even if they were rather direct, and the characters all seemed to be themselves, so well done on that front.

If I'm completely honest, there are a handful of grammar errors dotted through the story, like this: "Even though Rarity constantly pesters her about styling her mane, Sweetie Belle lets it naturally curl down the back of her neck." Nothing too major, but the lapses in tense do momentarily break the immersion of the story. And that last line of dialogue from the snobbish pony seemed a little...off to me.

But...I'd be lying if I said that this doesn't do its job of warming the heart rather well :eeyup:

#4 · Nov 7th, 2011 · · ·

It takes quite a bit of time and environmental input to tarnish gold. It does, however, tarnish. I believe silver would have been a better analogy.

Sweetie Belle strolled into the kitchen, and quickly quieted her hoovesteps when she saw rarity talking in the telephone.

Sweetie Belle paused every few seconds and occasional tapped her hoof on the tile floor in an attempt to get rarity's attention

rarity should be Rarity. :raritystarry: Both are right at the beginning

The dialogs are quite confusing, in all honesty. Sometimes I can't really tell which character is saying what. The solution would we that each character uses a different paragraph...not sure I have explained myself right

Tears welled in rarity's eyes as she whirled around and galloped off towards the train.

Again. :duck:

Now, the real comment.

Hum. I am gonna guess you're not used to write, because of those mistakes...and the action is...sweet and cute, but. I don't know, I guess I expected something more.

Keep practicing :twilightsmile:

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