OC Battle!

by zekromthepokemon

New Spice

“There once was a man. A man of mystery, of heart, of bu- wait. Buckets? You’re joking right? We’re not starting it this way are we?” Celestia asked, looking between the others and her script. “Well, I guess we are on this track. I’ll just try to act like this is normal” She continued with a hoof rubbing her temple.

“Let’s just do this together” Dr. Whooves said, looking at his script. “

---

Bucketman, the man of buckets, looks around his room. This was, admittedly, the sort of day that took the cake. Here he was, shoved into some sort of arena until he won. Not exactly the sort of thing you put on your list with ‘Get milk and eggs’. Sighing, he reaches into his coat and pulls out his canteen. He shakes it in his hand to find it empty. Great… maybe there’s some place around here he can get a drink?

Bucketman gets off of his bed, and twists, cracking his back. He lets out a light yawn and pushes his door open, entering the hallway. Looking one direction, and looking the other direction, he sighed. Not knowing which was which, he just started walking. Looking around himself, the halls were very plain. White flower-patterned wallpaper stained with aged adorned the hallway walls, and a sturdy oakwood floor. The ceiling was made of speckled gray-white square panels, with wall lamps between every door. The hallway itself was unusually spacious. An elephant could walk through, leaving space for other people to walk by.

As he began to walk down the hallway he spotted another human. The tall man seemed to be pretty young, but at the same time… aged almost. He was jimmying a door with a coathanger.

“C’mon… I know you have to have knives in there…” He muttered, hissing slightly as part of the coat hanger somehow whipped back, hitting him in the face.

Bucketman cleared his throat, grabbing his attention. He turned around and looked at Bucketman with confusion at first, then looked startled.

“Ahh… shit, this your room?” He asked, before looking at the coathanger, then him again. “Uhhh… this coat hanger was sticking out of the lock, and it didn’t exactly seem safe, so I was trying to get it out?” He asked again, knowing he was caught.

Bucketman cocked his head at first, then shrugged. He grabbed the coat hanger and gave it a yank. It gave a slight amount of resistance, but came out no problem otherwise. He tossed it to the side and held his hand out for a shake.

“Damnit, that was my last one… Oh, uhh, greetings eh? Right, well, the name’s Ulysses. I’m currently volunteering at this little shindig. What’s your name?” Ulysses said, shaking Bucketmans hand firmly with a black, leather gloved hand in return.

Bucketman reached into his coat, and pulled out a name card. Ulysses grabbed it, and looked at it with a quirked eyebrow.

“Bucketman eh? Well, could’ve been worse. Say, yanking on that coat hanger has my appetite worked up. Wanna hit the mess hall? Might be able to find it after popping open a few portals,” Ulysses suggested.

Bucketman pointed at a sign, which was conveniently above the door.

‘Caution: No alteration of physics that may result in arriving on another plane of existence when not in battle. Will result in immediate expulsion’

“... Or we could take the scenic route. Sometimes you just need to stretch the legs,” He says again, rubbing the back of his head.

---

They look around the large lunchroom. Lining the walls were machines, with a variety of options on them. Large, circular tables filled the room, with gray plastic chairs lining them.

“Huh… reminds me of my old high school lunchroom. Except, well, there isn’t graffiti on that wall over there… or a group of jocks shoving some poor kid’s face into the ‘mystery meat’ over there… Brings back memories really…” Ulysses said with a soft smile, looking upon the room.

Bucketman however, was already halfway across the room, heading towards the machines.

“Christ, wait for me would you?” Ulysses said, letting loose a pair of black tentacles to latch into the ceiling, picking himself up, so he could traverse across the lunchroom without dodging through tables.

By the time Ulysses dropped down, Bucketman was rubbing the side of his helmet, before snapping his fingers and hugging the machine with incredible joy.

“You… alright there?” Ulysses asked.

Bucketman didn’t respond, instead pressing a few buttons and put his canteen under the nozzle, causing harsh smelling, brown fluid to pour out from the machine.

“Sniff… is that… Whiskey?”

Bucketman shook his head fervently, before pulling out the canteen. He pops the top on, before sticking his head into the machine, letting more of the whiskey flow… somewhere. Ulysses, meanwhile, was staring at what was happening before him, and started to grin wolfishly.

“Ah, so you’re a drinker? Let me get in on that action,” Ulysses said, gently prying Bucketman aside to get under the machine.

---

“And that’s how Equestria was made!” TwiPie said, bouncing alongside Ink Sword.

Ink Sword, meanwhile, was having an aneurism. How could something like… this, come into existence? What did potatoes even have to do with the making of Equestria, let alone their original topic of applied physics?

“Everything!” TwiPie says, booping Ink Sword on the beak.

“Wha… how in the…” Ink Sword tried to formulate a response, before she pulled a large blackboard out of nowhere.

“Look, Equestria’s a place of peace, and as such the war economy is non-existent. As a result, sciences and agriculture alike had a major impact upon it. At its day an age, apple orchards weren’t quite as common, so other means of food were required, namely the cash crop of potatoes. While ponies seldom use potatoes in many recipes today, it was the agricultural equivalent of a multi-tool. Starches and flours, adhesives, and in some cases even toys were made from carved, dried, potatoes coated in saps, provided they didn’t get too wet. Now, as for the sciences being involved in the making of Equestria-” TwiPie was beginning, before a loud shout came from down the hall.

“Gangway!”

Rolling down the hall in a shopping cart was Bucketman wearing a lampshade loosely on his bucket, and Ulysses was perched behind him, whipping his tentacles at the ground haphazardly to push them along at their current subsonic speeds while gripping the cart handle tightly. TwiPie and Ink Sword barely managed to get out of the way of the mass of black tentacles, but the blackboard unfortunately cracked in half, shards of gray slate and wood scattering to the four winds. Ulysses and Bucketman though, were laughing heartily, zooming down the hall.

At the end of the hallway, they attempted to make a turn, but the cart instead flipped over, sending Bucketman crashing into the floor, and in Ulysses’ case, the wall. Bucketman was giggling on the floor like a schoolgirl, surprisingly only getting out of the situation with a small case of road rash, and Ulysses chuckled, though sounded very muffled through the drywall and wood.

After a large amount of struggling, Ulysses stops moving for a moment, whipping at the wall with his tentacles, allowing him to shake free through the rubble. He pants and coughs for a brief moment, slamming his fist against his chest. Eventually, he manages to hack up a large cloud of white dust. Sighing in relief, he helps up Bucketman, patting his back when he manages to get back up.

“You… you know kid, you’re alright. A.O. fucking K. in my books. We ever get slammed into a tag-team battle or something like that, I’ve got your back,” Ulysses says softly, his face beet red from the alcohol.

Bucketman simply gives a thumbs up in reply, nodding his head too.

---

Celestia looks at the scene with a small smile, chuckling lightly at the two humans’ drunken antics.

“You know, something about this seems… off,” Luna said, scratching the back of her neck.

“What do you mean by that?” Cadence asked, looking at Luna with worry.

“I don’t know, it almost seems like-” Luna began, but a fifth, unknown voice interrupted.

“Like someone else pretty much wrote this chapter?”

Everypony in the room turned around to look at a tall scarecrow leaning back in a chair with his straw hat tipped back, and a scythe leaning against him.

“Ah buck! Kill it! With fire!” Dr. Whooves yelled, tossing a molotov at it, only for it to be caught.

“Right, well, Zekky-poo loves you all very much, but his computer broke down, so I’m acting as a stand-in for now. So get ready for one crazy ride,” The scarecrow said smoothly, looking nowhere in particular.

“... Who are you?” Celestia asked with legitimate confusion.

“... He didn’t give you the memo? Right, guess he didn’t, with a lack of computer and all… name’s Toasty, Toasty the Scarecrow. It’ll be a pleasure writing these chapters for you sexy beasts, and until Zekky can get a new monitor, you’ll be sending your delicious OC’s to me,” The scarecrow said with a grin on his carved pumpkin face.

“... Isn’t Greentext illegal?” Cadence asked.

“Not if you use your… [url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbPWe9U4uPU]Imagination[/url]... also, here’s like… one… two… no wait, THREE more links. Have fun kiddies,” The scarecrow said coolly, leaning back in the chair. “... also, greentext’s only a no-no if you write the entire story in it, I think. Haven’t read the FAQ in a while,”

Comments

[New Lunar Principality]

You need Crescent's bio?

[A Tin Can]

7470110 If you have any sweet, succulent OC's to send, send them my way. Zek-boy is reduced to using his phone, so I'll be receiving the OC's and doing most of the story until they can get things straightened out.

[New Lunar Principality]

7470200 my oc is already in the stpry I'm asking if zekrom gave you info about him

[A Tin Can]

7470255 Oh! Umm... no, he hasn't. Due to his long absence, he has forgotten a few things here or there, mainly some of the cast. I'd be extremely ecstatic if you could do that though.

[New Lunar Principality]

7470271 his name is Crescent blade his bio is on my homepage

[New Lunar Principality]

7470271 also he first appeared in bats or bats