OC Battle!

by zekromthepokemon

Introductions & An Intrusion

Author's Note:

I'm breaking my no-cussing rule for one character. I feel it's a vital part of his personality so, it's gonna stay throughout the story. I hope this doesn't offend too many people.

Celestia and Cadence stood on stage. Celestia smiled as she stared at the audience in silence.

“Yep, it’s going to be a hot chapter, little ones.” She then turned to Cadence and started to lean in close. Cadence immediately slapped her.

“I might not be married in this universe, but that doesn’t mean I’m comfortable with this joke!”

“Hey, you're not supposed to break the fourth wall, Cadence,” Celestia said, rubbing her cheek.

“I’ve actually had it for a while now, but you don’t need to know the details.” Cadence summoned a stack of papers and held it in front of her face.

“Anyway, we still have a few OCs that need to get in, so we’ll start with a girl who-”

“She has an airship and kicks flank. Nuff said,” Celestia interrupted.

“Well, I would stop there, but I’m pretty sure the viewers probably want a better explanation.”

“Why?”

“Well, firstly we didn’t tell them his name yet, and-”

“Oh, so we gotta tell them her name and other junk so they can differentiate him from all the people who aren’t as awesome?”

“Yeah, that’s exactly why.” Cadence rolled her eyes as she resumed reading the paper.

“Made by Nagmeister, Steel Wind is a pegasus airship captain and she has an airship. She kicks flanks.” She looked up at no one in particular and glared. She mumbled angrily as she watched the TV turn on.

---

A pegasus with a gray coat and a loose brown mane was sleeping on the bed. She yawned and sat up and adjusted her goggles and brown hat. As she got more awake she looked around.

“Gosh darn it all. Guess I’m in the war again.” She rolled off the bed onto her hooves and slowly approached the door. She peeked her head outside and was surprised that there wasn’t a guard something outside ready to kill her on the spot. She cautiously stepped out and walked down the hallway, keeping her eyes peeled.

---

“Okay, next we have Raptor, made by raptor da raptor. Raptor is a red raptor with green eyes who has the ability of a healing factor. He can heal cuts in seconds, bones in minutes, limbs in 10 minutes, and can regenerate his heart, brain, or other organs in five minutes. Another ability he has is that he has a very powerful voice which allows him to screech loudly and mimic others voices. Lastly, he has the ability to grow feathers when he’s in a cold environment. Since a lot of people are offput by his somewhat monstrous appearance, he usually wears a cloak that disguises him as a pony.” Cadence looked at Celestia in anticipation.

“Well?” Cadence tapped her hoof on the ground.

“What do you mean?”

Cadence opened her mouth to say something, but stopped. The TV turned on.

---

Raptor was asleep on the bed. When he woke up his eyes dilated. He got up on his feet in a matter of seconds. He looked around the room and saw that his cloak was on the wall.

“Well, wherever I am, this place lets me keep my stuff.” He jumped off the bed and grabbed the cloak. He tied it around his neck and pulled the hood over his head, walking outside the room as he got shorter.

---

“Okay, last but not least, we have Ulysses.”

“And he’s pretty cool.” Cadence turned to Celestia and raised her hoof.

“It wasn’t me this time! Honest!” Celestia held her hooves up in a defensive position. A portal opened above them.

“Oh, what now?” Cadence groaned. A human then jumped out of the portal. He had a tan complexion and was wearing an orange t-shirt, dirt-ridden pants, stetson, and duster. Cadence took a step back from him when she noticed the chainsaw strapped to his back.

“Who are you?” Cadence asked.

“I’m Ulysses. Can you tell me where Luna is?” he asked.

“No, I’m sorry bu-”

“Did someone call me?” Luna asked, walking onto the stage. Ulysses immediately slapped her and she went straight down. Her sunglasses sat crooked on her nose as she laid on the ground unconscious.

“Bitch. Anywhoosies, I wanted to tell the audience here about myself personally.”

“Wait, before you do, that could you please explain how you got here? This dimension is private you know,” Cadence said.

“Oh, well, I asked Zekrom for the password to this dimension and he said I could come here this one time. So, before you ask anymore questions, will you please allow me to tell about myself before I kill everyone here in the audience?”

“LET HIM DO IT!” yelled every audience member. Cadence sighed.

“Fine.”

“Well, I was born in Nevada, and one one day while I was hacking off the head of a lycanthropic undead wizard with a saw, I found a chainsaw not too far away from him and tried that to mutilate the rest of bastard’s body and it worked, so I’ve been killing people, monsters, and whatever else I’ve don’t like with that primarily. What I use for secondary came from this duster I stole off the utility belt of that wizard. It’s in this duster.” He patted the article of clothing when he said its name.

“You see, I have four pockets in this thing. The upper left one gives me unlimited throwing knives, like so.” He pulled a throwing knife and chucked it at the audience.

“My eye!”

“The upper-right one has unlimited tomahawks. Allow me to demonstrate this too.” He pulled out a tomahawk and threw it at the same audience member.

“The rest of my face!”

“The bottom-left one carries six machetes, but I usually only use two at a time in battle. They’re mostly for defense, but if I feel it’s necessary I can send out six tendrils to do what I call the ‘Six Star Parry,’ in which your melee attacks will most likely be deflected and countered. I won’t demonstrate that because I would risk harming my lord and savior Celesti-christ.” He bowed to her again.

“I also have this ‘dark form’ which basically channels my primal and basic instincts until I become like my great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather slenderman.”

“Slenderman? Really?” Cadence scoffed.

“Yep, and do you want me to explain how it works or show you how it works up close and personal?” he asked, getting up in her face.

“Umm . . . Sorry, I was talking about the fanfiction that one of the audience members wrote.” Cadence put on a fake smile and took a few more steps away from him.

“All right, so in that dark form my pants, duster, and boots turn pitch-black, my shirt turns red, and my face turns bone-white. After my clothes change to the colors of an OC made by an edgy 12-year-old, my face changes and I have no facial features except a mouth that kinda looks like a rip, but in actuality it’s just really jagged and as strong as iron. Okay, now, I might be boring you with all this exposition for just one new character. Hell, my description is taking a quarter of the chapter, but I’m on my second to last thing and you got through it this far, so just try to stick through the rest. You can do it!” Ulysses cheered.

“The second-to-last thing is due to me not taking the medication that’s made me ‘normal’ for the past few years, and I’ve developed the ability to have this sort of Mad Man's endurance, which basically means if you shove a pole through me then I’ll hop off it and break your collarbone. Lastly is my warp ability, which I kinda already demonstrated when I got in here. The only detail about it is that isn’t obvious is that it drains my energy somewhat depending on how large it is. I can hold ones that can things the size of Hydras about 15 minutes, but after that long I might be a lot weaker and tired.”

“Since you're finally done with that exposition dump, will you please get in the show already?” Celestia asked.

“As you wish, my lord.” A portal appeared above his head and he jumped in it. The TV then turned on. Ulysses was on the screen and he was currently cutting the door open with his chainsaw.

Comments

[crazypony300]

Wow, I don't even know when the heck I saw a new chapter. Well, the wait was worth it. Please add more. I can help and why don't you consider my idea of actually letting them out for once? Well, I'm going to wait, anyways.

[A Tin Can]

YES! YOU SOLD THE BASTARD PERFECTLY! YES!!!

[zekromthepokemon]

6131530 Glad to please you!

[A Tin Can]

6131622 NO, I INSIST, THANK YOU!