Join Celestia, Cadence, Luna, and Dr. Whooves as they host . . . O! C! BATTLE!
Join Celestia, Cadence, Luna, and Dr. Whooves as they host . . . O! C! BATTLE! In OC Battle you the viewers send in OCs (PM only) and they will be put in the fic to battle. However this isn't your run of the mill DEATH BATTLE rip off my friends. Instead it will work as something akin to a game show but, the final contestant that survives won't get anything or they will. I'm not really sure yet.
Submit your OCs quickly or . . . I dunno I'm not really a popular writer sooo there is a small probability that this will be featured or even get something above 500 views. Just do it so he doesn't have to start submitting his own underwritten monstrosities.
RULEZ FOR SUBMISSION DOCUMENTS (PM) 1. Proper description of personality 2. Special Talent 3.Physical Appearance Optional 4. (Recommended) Epic power or ability. 5. Villain or friend you want the character to be in contact with
Disclaimer Your OCs can be made fun of or praised in anyways. We of the OC Battle! cast are not responsible for damages to your OCs esteem, character, or shipping.
“Hello everyone!” Celestia said into a microphone on a stage. A crowd of ponies, griffons, humans, and lots of other entities clapped from the audience. “I just talked to Zekrom and man can he be a-” A pie then hit Celestia in the face. She wiped it off, annoyed.
“Anyway, Welcome to OC battle! In another dimension there is an empty town. It’s completely abandoned and what surrounds it is created by Zekrom depending on what the situation requires, more on that later. You, the viewers on earth, are going to submit your OCs as Zekrom calls them and they will arrive in plastic doll form here.” She pointed to a mailbox, “to demonstrate Zekrom will send one of his OCs to the mailbox.” After a ten-second wait the mailbox began to glow. Celestia trotted over to it and took out a package only a few inches wide with the name “zekromthepokemon” scrawled onto a tag. Celestia carefully opened it and there, in her hooves, was a doll with a Twilight style mane cut and Pinkie Style tail, both of them being pink. The fur color was purple and the eyes were a mismatched blue and pink.
“This abomi-” A rock as then thrown at Celestia. Celestia groaned “masterpiece is Zekrom’s OC”. Celestia then pulled out a piece of paper that was still in the mailbox and read it. “She is from the story, ‘The Drawbacks and Advantages of Combination’, and she has this strange tail magic that allows her to shift and change the density, shape, and even molecules and cells of her tail to shift into different forms. When her tail is in another form she can cast magic spells like a unicorn,”
“Once an OC is introduced I push this red button.” She then walked to the back wall of the stage and the spotlight shone to show the gigantic red button. She placed the TwiPie doll onto a pedestal near the button. She then pulled one of her front hooves back and punched the button as hard as she could. The button glowed and in a flash of light the TwiPie doll disappeared. Celestia stepped back and the curtains above the button parted and an even more gigantic screen snapped on.
On the screen it showed TwiPie asleep on a bed. TwiPie proceeded to wake up and look around.
“Where am I? I remember being at home eating some cupcakes and now POOF! I’m here . . .” she looked around the room and he saw a fresh plate of cupcakes. She licked her lips and bolted for them, scarfing down every single one. The TV then snapped off.
“Glad I’m not the Celestia that has to deal with her” Celestia shivered.
“Okay, basically what happens when we have enough OC’s is that we will allow them to roam around this hotel-type place, and if we get enough there might be even places outside the hotel. If there isn’t enough OC’s sent in Zekrom will probably add some in anyway,” Celestia explained
“Within random intervals during the OC’s ambling about the hotel a battle will commence. These might be exhibition with no harm done, but a few chapters in there will be dangerous battles where all injuries sustained during the battle stay until they get it fixed somehow. Then in another few chapters there will be DEATH BATTLES, where you have to kill the other combatant,”
Celestia caught her breath, and then continued. “Other than me there will also be other characters that aren’t OCs to join us. They will do a variety of things. They are Doctor Whooves, Cadence, Luna, and others. However, even though they aren’t OCs some of them will not be true to how to act in the show.”
“Since everything that probably would’ve clogged up the description is explained, let the battle BEGIN!”
“All right, when will we get new OCs?” Celestia groaned “Can’t you fast-forward time to when there are new OCs?”
Doctor Whooves scratched his head nervously. “No . . .”
“Come on! This one has just been eating the magical cupcakes that reappear after being eaten for three days!” She looked toward the screen and saw TwiPie STILL eating cupcakes.
“Don’t worry. That’s what I’m here for,” Luna wearing sunglasses flew down. The audience applauded when they saw her.
“Thank you!” Celestia said as she looked toward the audience, “People, this is Luna. She’s going to barge into the alternate dimension sometimes to do different things. Do your thing Luna!” Celestia encouraged.
“No problem.” Her horn glowed and she disappeared. Everyone looked at the screen and she appeared on it. The audience gasped. Luna then pried the tray from TwiPie using her magic and teleported back onto the stage. TwiPie sighed and then shrugged her shoulders.
“Wait, where am I?” TwiPie asked. The screen then shut off. Luna then lowered her shades and bowed. The audience applauded. Cadence then walked in from behind the curtains causing more applause.
“Hello everyone! I can’t show you what I do right now, but I’m supposed to affect relationships and what not!” She smiled.
“Okay, since everyone has been introduced, what are we going to do to fill the other two hundred something words?”
“We could go on a mini-adventure using Zekrom’s dimension making powers,” Cadence offered. Celestia gave her an odd look.
“I guess . . . Zekrom, can we go to another dimension?” Celestia yelled. A portal then appeared.
“That’s a yes. I think,” Dr. whooves said. They all looked at each other and walked in. The four looked around the new environment. It was a strange sight. They were in the middle of a room about 100 meters in height and width which was made out of stone. The portal behind them closed. A hole then started to open up about 13 ft in front of them. Out of it hopped a bear. The four looked in terror at it. It slowly turned in their direction and charged. Luna stepped foward, turned around, and bucked the animal. The bear fell to the ground.
“Was that necessary?” Cadence asked.
“Just bear-ly” she then adjusted her sunglasses. Everyone laughed except for Cadence and the portal reopened. They all walked in and it closed behind them.
Celestia and the other three hosts laid bored on the stage. “Where . . . are the . . . new OCs?” Celestia moaned. They then witnessed the mailbox beginning to glow. Celestia looked toward the audience and with a “Thank you” she opened the mailbox. Inside was a package. She ripped it open and there, lying in her hooves, was a new contestant. She had a pink mane, an orange coat, and green eyes. Celestia then pulled out the paper in the back of the mailbox..
“This is Sugar Crumbs. She is an orphan and she has a brother named Pie Bits. Apparently she’s also the secret element of forgiveness.”
“Isn’t that a little cliche?” Luna asked. Celestia looked at Luna fearfully.
“Luna. Don’t say that or Zekrom will do something really annoying to you. Especially if you're bad mouthing people who sent in their OCs. You might want to take that back ,” Celestia advised.
“Pssh, That dude loves me. I doubt he’ll do anyth-” A rock with a piece of paper tied to it flew from the audience. It hit Luna right on her muzzle.
“Erm . . . No” He squeaked.
“AHHHHHH!” she squealed. She ran for the door and tried to open the door with her magic, but to no avail. She then ran to the window and tried to open it, but it was locked as well. “I didn’t want to do this.” She turned around and shot a magic blast at the door, but it just bounced back and hit her in the face. She cried softly with the growing pain of third degree burns on her muzzle. All four hosts looked at each other in horror.
“I feel so horrible,” Celestia said.
“We all do,” Cadence replied. The mailbox glowed again, and Celestia quickly abandoned her sadness.
“Guys, ee-thray ontestents-cay” Celestia said. Cadence gasped, Luna gawked and Dr. Whooves said nothing. She trotted toward the mailbox happily. She looked toward the audience before opening it and said, “we finally have three OCs, everybody! Best of all, they're not from Zekrom!” The audience cheered, and Celestia continued, “now, we can add some new privileges as soon as we pop this new one in!” She then pulled out the package and the piece of paper. She ripped open the package with glee. The pony was actually male this time and a pegasus. He had a manecut similar to Soarin’s, but his mane, tail, and eyes were reddish-orange, and he had a dark blue coat. She then happily read the tag attached to it. “This is Swift Sky. He was created by The Guardian and Friends. He is a swordsman of sorts and has the ability to pause time and do as he pleases for 15 seconds using his sword. During this state he can create chronomatter, a matter made from time itself that can be molded into anything. He can make a net. A trap of some kind or even just throw it at beings.” Celestia then trotted over to the big red button and placed the doll onto the pedestal. Confetti then fell from the ceiling. She hit the red button, but when she did nothing happened. After a few seconds, however, a button in the shape of a lock sprung up in the upper left corner of the red button. She then hit the new button and the TV snapped on as normal, and Swift Sky was shown on screen. He looked around the room without saying a word. It had a few generic boy posters, but the only other thing noteworthy about the room was the silver platter with saltine crackers. Instead of shutting off, the TV’s image began to blur until it was impossible to see anything clearly. The TV then refocused and you could see a split screen of the three different ponies’ rooms. A sound of metal sliding away was heard as each door slammed open. All three of them looked startled. TwiPie crawled out ninja style. Crumbs carefully walked out. Swift looked around the room and saw the thing that completed him, his sword. Its blade was blue and the handle was striped in a red and black pattern. He walked to the corner it was sitting in and said, “Onorhc!” The sword then disappeared and a saddlebag matching its colors appeared at his side. He then walked out. The TV shut off.It might have been what you meant before, so only change it to my suggestion if it actually was supposed to be that way.
Sugar Crumbs walked down the corridor hallway. She was walking at a brisk pace. “There has to be a first aid kit around here somewhere,” she groaned as she wished for a nurses office or something. She then heard footsteps behind her. She turned around and saw another pony. This pony smiled at her. Sugar Crumbs slowly walked away from her.
“Why is this happening?” She said as she hit a wall. She looked to her sides, but it was a dead end. The pony stepped in front of her, and Sugar Crumbs hung her head waiting for the pony to do something to her.
“Hi!” the pony said. Sugar Crumbs looked up. The pony had a purple coat with a pink mane and tail. Her eyes were mismatched, one was pink and the other was blue.
“Why should I trust you?” Sugar Crumbs asked, gaining some confidence.
“I have a first aid kit in my room,” she smiled deviously.
“Ugh, fine, you win.” She followed TwiPie down the hall, and TwiPie opened the door. She walked in showing Sugar around the room.
“This is the bed. This is the carpet. This is the-”
“Can you just let me use the first aid kit,” she demanded.
“Pushy,” TwiPie said under her breath. She then showed Sugar the first aid kit on the wall.
“Wait, I don’t know how to get this off the wall,” Sugar said.
“Oh yeah! I forgot that you don’t have shifting tail powers. I forget that sometimes when I talk to people,” she smiled sheepishly. She then shifted her tail into a claw and grabbed the first aid kit off the wall. She then dropped it on the table where her silver platter used to sit. Sugar Crumb’s eye twitched. She shook her head and decided that dumb stuff like that happens in hotel-that-I-was probably-drugged-into-land. She then sat down on TwiPie’s bed.
“So, what’s your name?” Sugar asked.
“TwiPie. Yours?”
“Sugar Crumbs,”
“By the way, the P is capitalized” she instructed.
“Why?” Crumbs inquired.
“I wanted something that didn’t lose too much of the previous two ponies who are me, so to show them respect I had both parts of their names capitalized,” she explained.
“What?” Crumbs inquired again, still confused.
“Well, there were two ponies named Twilight and Pinkie and Pinkie themore ... curious one was screwing with something Twilight made. Then they were combined and that combined mare is me.”
“So, you don’t have parents?” Sugar asked.
“Technically no.”
“Neither do I. I had to take care of my brother alone,” Sugar had a faraway look in her eyes.
“At least you had a family,” TwiPie laughed. “Wait, you never got to use the first aid kit!” TwiPie exclaimed. She quickly wrapped bandages around Sugar’s muzzle. They continued to talk and laugh until Sugar decided to go back to her room because she was tired. She fell asleep soundly as soon as she laid on her bed.
“Ow!” The rock had a piece of paper wrapped around it. Celestia picked it up using her magic and it read, “Wrong show.”
Chapter Five: Announcement that might get this story reported for reasons.
Luna walked onstage with her sunglasses still on. A grimace of exhaustion was on her face as she looked at the audience. She opened her mouth to say something, but fell to the ground with a clink of her teeth snapping together.
“Is she dead?” an audience member asked aloud. Dr. Whooves walked onstage and saw her. He shook his head and went back behind the curtains and came back with an analog clock in his mouth. It was about three inches long and three inches wide. He spat it out on Luna and used his hooves to slowly push the hands back.
He then took it off her and waited. She got back up looking much more energetic.
“Thanks Whooves,” Luna said turning to him.
He bowed and walked back behind the curtains. “Now that my body has been revitalized due to . . . whatever he did, I can now give you all the grave news,” she said a little smugly.
“I don’t know what yo-” Celestia then began waving her front hooves and yelling.
“YOU’RE SENDING IN TOO MANY OCS AND IT WOULD SUCK TO WRITE THAT MANY FLIPPIN’ INTRODUCTORY CHAPTERS OR A REALLY LONG ONE!!!!” Celestia screeched.
“Why did Zekrom make you always have to break the fourth wall?” Luna complained.
“Why did he make you always wear those stupid sunglasses?” Celestia remarked.
“Because I’m his favorite character!” she gloated
“Pssh, It’s Discord and Pinkie,” Celestia calmly retorted.
“No, it’s not!”
A flash of lightning then hit the stage a few feet in front of the sisters making a cloud of smoke appear. The sisters recoiled back. When the smoke cleared there stood a thing neither of them expected to see. It was a hooded figure that only stood to Luna’s neck. The only part of him that was revealed was a stubby animal-like paw that had a foot-long spear in it. It spoke angrily in a deep male sounding tone.
“Enough with this bickering. Zekrom tires of it and is tired of you two,” the figured said.
“Who are you?” Luna asked. The figure lifted his hood and there was a black dog-like head with red eyes and yellow rings around its large ears.
“I am Umbreon, An underling of Zekrom. e sent me here to tell you two equines to get on with the announcement.”
The two looked at each other. Zekrom always talked to them with a rock or a pie, but never a messenger.
Luna looked toward the audience with Umbreon in her peripheral vision.
“Since we have so many OCs being sent in we have decided to have a new system for adding OCs, but it’s going to be a while before he comes up with an idea for one, so all OC intros are going to be . . . different from now on.”
“Finally,” Umbreon grumbled. He then hit the staff to the floor and disappeared in a flash of lightning.
“We will introduce that new method next chapter and we will see you then” Celestia said, still spooked slightly from Umbreon.Is it die?
Wut?
Eevee is best pokemon.
No, dood Rapidash is. Remember Pinkie keen? Rapidash starred dat episode. I don't want to have to 420noscope yo azz
Celestia looked sadly at the audience as she shuffled through the stack of papers with her magic.
“Zekrom has come up with a new method. Everyone including him hates to have to do this, but it’s for the good of everything OC Battle stands for. We are cutting not only the button, but the mailbox as well,” she sighed. “Now, I just read their descriptions and they’re already sent in.”he whole audience moaned in depression. Cadence then walked onstage with a large toothy grin.
“There is also good news viewers! Since we sold the mailbox and button we can not only get more OCs in at a time, but since Zekrom was feeling nice he actually added something to the hotel!” She .
“Wait, what?” Celestia asked confused.
“Don’t worry about it. You weren’t at that meeting anyway.”
“Oh . . .” Celestia then cleared her throat and the TV cut on. Celestia began reading the paper.
“This is-” she then looked at the screen. “Holy sh-”
“No cussing,” Cadence warned.
“BUT LOOK AT HOW ABNORMAL THIS GUY IS!” Celestia exclaimed. Cadence took a look at the screen. She went wide eyed and her jaw fell.
“He’s wearing a bucket . . . on his head . . .” She trailed off.
“Let’s just get this over with,” Celestia said.
“The Bucket . . . man was made by jolan5 and is a human man with a bucket on his head. He is good with hand to hand combat and can use anything as a blunt weapon. He always wears a jacket with tons of pockets, having anything from cupcakes to pens and paper, but he never has anything lethal in it like a gun.”
They redirected their eyes to the screen again. A muffled yawn was heard. He swiveled his head around and quickly felt the pockets within his jacket. He pulled out a ball and laid down on the bed, then began to bounce it off the wall and catch it. As he bounced it he turned his head and a tray of beers was beside his bed. He picked one up and the TV shut off.
“He can buckin’ see . . . HOW?!” they said in unison.
“Maybe the next one won’t be as . . . jarring,” Cadence tried to reassure. Celestia shuffled through the papers again and the TV cut on, revealing an earth pony colt who couldn’t be a day over nine. He had a white coat, green eyes, and a light blue mad scientist type mane with a lab coat and goggles slightly above his eyes.
“This is Nutball, or Dr. Terrible. He was created by Discorded SheepcityUSA and is an orphan. He lives in a junkyard and plans to take over the world. He's an inventor and is constantly making machines using the stuff he finds within his home. The only thing that actually works is a mech of sorts and a death ray which is actually just a squirt gun with raw sewage,” she read aloud. They then looked at the screen again.
“Where the heck am I? The government must’ve put me here to torture me! They’ll pay for this!” He angrily rummaged through his lab coat and pulled out his death ray using his mouth and stormed out the door.
“Come on . . . Why are we getting these monstrosi-” Celestia then got hit in the face with a marshmallow.
“Huh, I was expecting something more volatile.” She brushed it off.
“Okay, I believe there were two more of these,” she said shuffling the papers some more.
“Aha! Here it is!” The TV turned on and there lay a red pegasus with a dark red mane and orange eyes.
“This is Scarlet Blur, or Scar, and he was made by mr.myxsiple. He is an amazing flier. He has the ability to grow and shrink his wings at will.”
They looked at the TV screen and he woke up.
“Great, I don’t know where I am.” He sighed. He angrily walked outside the room grumbling, and the TV cut off.
"One last one, aaannnddd, here it is." The TV turned on and on the bed was a changeling. It woke up and looked around cautiously. It then jumped on the ground, but the strange thing was that it landed upright and was standing. It didn't have hooves, instead having claws with two toe like things. It looked around again and changed to a gryphon that was on all fours with a strange metallic cannon on it's right front leg. THe TV then cut off
"This is Ink Sword. He is a former changeling assassin who now works as a gryffon defense attorney. When he's in changeling form he can use basic unicorn spells - teleport, shield, illumination and levitation - and can mutate in different ways to give him an advantage in combat. In his gryffon form he has a cannon on his right foreleg that can shoot anything from a missile to a grappling hook, and on his other claw is a sword that can retract and extend outside of his body. When it is retracted it slowly heals him, but when it isn’t it is a huge three feet ningakin sword," Celestia explained, “all right, now that we have seven contestants, we can now introduce something that will be important to the contestants with loved ones." Celestia then summoned a book with a picture of a phone on the cover. ”This is a Book Ex Machina, and contestants can use it to chat with their loved ones or with other contestants if they're both using it. Each contestant has one in their room that they can use,”
“Seems like we’re done for today,” Cadence said.
“Yep” Celestia replied.
“Want to go and talk about OTPs for the Battle?” Cadence asked.
“Sure,” Celestia replied, and they left the stage.
"OBJECTION!" yelled the audience. "Is he an Ace Attorney?" asked an audience member
"HOLD IT! Possibly . . . none of us made the OC," Cadence replied
Chapter 7: Oh, you were expected something clever?
Dr. Terrible began opening different hotel doors looking for a government agent or scientist. Behind one of the doors he found the Bucketman with an empty bottle of beer in one hand and a ball in the other. He was resting on the bed. He wasn’t asleep yet, but it seemed that he wasn’t exactly going to be jumping and moving around a lot. Dr. Terrible pointed his death ray at him. “Rebeel yur idendidi amb speshes noew!” he said. The bucketman looked at him, and a snicker could be heard from him. “Duh ooh nut unterdand?” He then realized his speech was garbled since he had his death ray in his mouth. He rummaged through his coat again and found a piece of tape. He wrapped the tape around death ray and his left hoof. “Species and identity! NOW!” he yelled again, pointing the now taped death ray at Bucketman. Bucketman looked at him again, hopped off the bed, and walked over to the colt. He patted a hand on himself and waggled his index finger. He then began to prance around childishly. He then put his hands on his hips as if to say “Do you understand?”
“What?! I’m not playing a game. Tell me now or I’ll shoot you!” he warned. Bucketman dug a hand into one of his many pockets in his jacket and pulled out a muffin. He stuffed it in the mouth of Dr. Terrible and patted his head, then went back down and laid down on his bed again to resume throwing and catching the ball. Dr. Terrible spat out the muffin. “How dare you treat me like a child! It’d be a waste to shoot a imbecile like you!” He then shot the ball Bucketman was playing with. When it landed back on his hand with . . . stuff on it he dug into his jacket with his clean hand and pulled out a box of wipes. Dr. Terrible decided to leave.
He was about to go back to his room when he heard a booming voice that could be heard throughout the building.
“Everyone within the hotel is to report to the auditorium. Follow the green arrows to the destination.” Green fluorescent arrows then appeared on the ground.
“I figure I should humor the government scientists this time. I will destroy them later along with any more unruly ‘hotelmates’.” He followed the arrows and eventually found himself in a small room with the others. He noted how strange some of them were. Most of them were normal, but one of them had different colored eyes and another was a gryffon with a cannon on his arm.
There was a small stage and the whole room was mainly wooden with some marble.he only thing not being those two j was the velvet curtains. The lights dimmed and the curtains opened, revealing a short figure in a hood which a spotlight shone on. It then walked up to the microphone onstage and pulled off the hood, revealing itself to be Umbreon.
“Hello combatants, and welcome to OC Battle. This is a place of strange and mysterious circumstances. You all are going to be mere pawns and your mere existence is worthless . . . until you come here. Within the bounds of this dimension you may do what you wish, but there will be a time when you must face each other in combat.” He put his hood back on and walked to the back of the stage. The spotlight turned off and the curtains closed in front of him. The lights then came back on.
“Well, that explained absolutely nothing,” Dr. Terrible complained.
“I agree,” said TwiPie and Crumbs.
“As do I,” Ink Sword added.
“Well, I have no idea what to do. I mean, we could go back to our rooms, but that seems too boring.” Sugar said.
“How about we look around this accursed place until we find something of interest. I believe there were some other rooms along the way here,” Dr. Terrible offered.
“Yeah, that’s something,” said Scarlet Blur They all grouped together and walked outside. Dr. Terrible led the way and went left, and they walked and walked and walked, finding nothing but hotel rooms.
“Wait!” Dr. Terrible exclaimed, stopping everyone. He pointed his death-free hoof at a door which had a sign on it reading “REC ROOM”. When they went in, they all stood in shock. It was a huge room filled with all sorts of things. There was a gym, a dojo, a lab, a cafe, a library and lots of other things of interest.
“Oh. my. gosh.” said Sugar. They all then began doing whatever activity suited them within the room. Sugar was at the cafe, munching on some fries that she found already hot and made on a counter. She didn’t even bother asking where it came from.
“TwiPie?” Sugar said, swallowing some more fries. TwiPie licked the icing from the cupcakes she was eating around her face.
“Yeah?”
“Do you know what’s up with that blue guy?” she asked, looking toward Swift Sky, who was sitting on a sofa.
“What about him?”
“Well, he really hasn’t done a single thing. It seems like nothing interests him here. I kinda feel sorry for him,” said Sugar. TwiPie gasped and began to chuckle.
“Seems like you have a thing for him,” TwiPie giggled knowingly.
“I do not!” Sugar defended.
“Why don’t you go talk to him? You might get married a while from now if you do,” she teased.
“Oh shut up,” she groaned.
“Fine, then I’ll just have to talk to him since you're not interested,” TwiPie hopped off her seat and was about to walk to him, but Sugar stopped her.
“Ugh, fine, I do kinda like him, but it’s only because he’s the least annoying stallion here,” she revealed.
“I see what you mean,” TwiPie said, looking over the rest of the males.
The TV shut off. “Umbreon was there? Well, call me a chimera’s uncle,” Celestia remarked. HANDS?!? *gasp*
Swift Sky paced around his room, deep in thought. “This ordeal is simply maddening. They expect me to fight for entertainment? It’s even worse that I don’t have her here,” he said to himself. Swift then heard a knock on his door. He opened the door, and Umbreon stepped into the room. He glared at the creature.
“No need to be hostile, worm. I simply came here to give you this,” Umbreon then laid the Book Ex Machina in front of him and Swift Sky placed his hoof on top of it and slid it inside his room.
“You can use it to contact loved ones, if you have any.” Umbreon then walked away as Swift closed the door. He picked up the book in his mouth and put it on a table. He could contact her, but was still skeptical of the trustworthiness of anyone in this hotel. He decided not to use it for now and began pacing and thinking again until there was another knock on the door. When he opened it he found Dr. Terrible.
“Hello sir, I’m looking for allies to help me overthrow the hotel. Would you like to join?” Dr. Terrible asked. Swift shut the door on him. “No good blue stallion. I oughta shoot him,” he grumbled.
“WILL YOU SHUT IT!” yelled Sugar.
“Sugar and blue guy sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G,” TwiPie teased.
They then heard a knock on the door. Sugar opened it and there was Dr. Terrible. “Hello ma’ams, I’m looking for allies to help me overthrow the hotel. Would you like to join?”
“Why? It seems like a decent place for the time being. Food, Housing, and I even made a fri-”
“First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage,”
“A future victim and I can bet a few bits that we’re going to get to see some of that fighting,”
“You could get hurt though!” Dr. Terrible pleaded.
“I’m not yet. Thanks for the offer anyway.” She shut the door on him.
“These adults are so naive! They think they can just prance around and not get killed in one of these battle things that dog thing was talking about,” He said to himself
“Perhaps I can get that nimrod with the bucket on his head to help me recruit allies.”
Bucketman was flipping through the instructions of the Book Ex Machina he got and sitting on his bed. He closed it and put his hand on the picture of the phone. He took his hand off and the picture began to spin and spin until it stopped and the book opened. A picture appeared of two men, two women, and two children of opposite genders with buckets on their heads. They all jumped, but soon cocked their heads. Bucketman waved to them and they waved back. One of the women pulled out a map of some kind and pointed to it, then pointed toward Bucketman and Bucketman shrugged. He then put his hands to his bucket and made a crying gesture, pointed at them and shook his head. They all nodded and he pressed on the picture of the phone again, and the image of his Bucket Crew disappeared. Bucketman put the book on the floor beside his bed and was about to reach for his tray of beers when he heard a knock on the door. He got up and opened it.
“Listen you halfwit, I’m in need of assistance. Would you mind handing out these fliers?” Dr. Terrible pulled some papers out of his coat with his mouth and handed them to him. Bucketman gave a thumbs up and started walking down the hall. “Hmmm . . .” The Doctor pulled out a red button and pressed it. “That was easy,” said the button.
Bucketman came back to Terrible’s room.
“Did you get any recruits?” Dr. Terrible asked. Bucketman nodded his head and pulled out a piece of red construction paper.
“That red pegasus? What can that pathetic lout do?” he sighed as he flopped on his bed.
“Man, I’m so bored,” Celestia moaned, sliding herself across the stage using her back legs. Cadence looked at her with a combination of confusion and annoyance.
“It seems fine to me,” Cadence replied.
“But it’s just become some slice of life story with unorthodox things,”
“Like the one on discovery family?”
“Yeah, I’m thinking about quitting.” Celestia stopped scooting around. Cadence looked to nowhere in particular.
“Zekrom, will you please do something? I really don’t want to know what’ll happen to her if she tries to quit,” The room began to rumble and shake. A bunch of ponies with hockey masks and balloons tied to them jumped out of nowhere and ran about the stage. Arrows pointing up flashed about on the TV screen. “What the hell is happening?” Celestia asked. Cadence gasped. “What?” “You just cussed . . .” Cadence whispered. “I think he just raised the rating,” Celestia stated. “Wait, does that mean we’re going to have a battle?” Cadence asked. “Holy fu-” “He only upped it to teen, so no f-bombs,” Cadence warned. “That mother-”
“Tell me your crush, TwiPie!” Sugar demanded, stamping the ground. “Nope! Don’t have one!” TwiPie answered confidently. TwiPie and Sugar were in Suga’s room doing mostly nothing. “Now! I’m tired of you teasing me about my crush on him!” Sugar demanded again.
“I really don’t have one, okay?” TwiPie replied. Sugar climbed on her bed and turned her back to TwiPie.
“Please don’t do this Sugar. I’m not lying,” TwiPie said.
“Can you just stop teasing me about it for a while . . .” she said just loud enough for TwiPie to hear.
“Ok, I will,” she promised.
Celestia was walking around the stage impatiently.
“When is the battle going to start? I’ve been waiting so long and he upped the rating! Why the fu . . . dge is there not a battle?!” She complained. A bolt of lightning struck the stage. Celestia coughed at the smoke, and when it cleared Umbreon stood there.
“Why are you here?” she asked annoyed.
“Simply to tell you that instead of having a no harm battle we’re having a death battle,” he said, pulling off his hood.
“Really? That’s actually some pretty cool news,” she replied.
“NO, IT’S NOT!” yelled an audience member. Celestia rolled her eyes.
“Anyway, it’s going to be between Scarlet Blur and Swift Sky,” he stated.
“Thanks for the info,” she thanked. He didn’t reply as he disappeared with a lightning bolt again. Celestia then walked to the back of the stage and there was a new gigantic button. It was blue and it had bold red letters with yellow outlines spelling the word “BATTLE!” . She pressed it.
blue pillars of energy.
“Why didn’t they tell us before they beamed us here?”
“Same reason we haven’t been told we were coming to the hotel in the first place,” answered TwiPie. “Wait, where’s blue guy and that red dude?” TwiPie asked. The curtains then ascended and a huge tv was sitting on the stage. It cut on and images of Swift Sky and Scarlet Blur appeared with the word “VS.” between the two pictures, with flame effects at the bottom of the screen with burning and crackling sounds.
“I hope he doesn't get hurt,” Sugar said. TwiPie opened her mouth to say something, but didn’t. The lights in the auditorium then dimmed and in small flashes of light everyone got different concessions. TwiPie got cupcakes, Sugar got a soft pretzel, Bucketman got a glass of wine, and Dr. Terrible got a box of apple juice.
On the screen Swift Sky and Scarlet Blur stood opposite of each other in a circular stone arena about a quarter mile long and wide. Umbreon stood between them explaining things.
“The object of this is to kill your opponent. This might be hard, but if you don’t then you will both be wiped from existence. However, if you surrender one of three things can happen to you. Wiped from existence, be sent to a new place that won’t be named yet, or become a host. The host one barely ever happens though,” Umbreon then disappeared and a voice from nowhere yelled “BEGIN!”
“All right man, I don’t want to hurt you,” said Scar. Swift then closed his eyes and his saddlebag turned back to his blade, and it positioned itself in his mouth. Swift began to violently swing at him while walking toward Scarlet, with him backing away each time. Scarlet tried to fly up, but Swift dashed forward and nicked him as he took flight. Scar grunted as he felt blood come from the swipe. While it wasn’t that big it still hurt. A lot.
“I’m glad he can’t fl-” he started, then looked behind him. “He has wings too . . .” he said to himself. Then he got an idea. He inhaled slightly, still feeling the pain of the wound. He grew his wings to be twice their size and gave a big flap behind him. He then turned them back to normal, turned around, and saw his plan had worked. The gust of wind from his bigger wings had messed up Swift’s flying, and Swift was spinning and trying to reposition himself. Scar took the opportunity, flew right toward him, and kicked him with the non-bleeding leg. Swift spiraled to the ground hitting, with a loud cracking sound. Scarlet then tried to elbow-drop onto his head, but Swift dodged and his elbow went right onto the pavement. He winced in pain when it connected and rubbed it to make it feel better. While he was rubbing it he didn’t notice that Swift was standing over him with the sword. A terrible sound of metal cutting through flesh and bone was heard as the blade came down. Scarlet now lay there, dead.
Umbreon then appeared in a strike of lightning.
“Congratulations, Swift you survived - No - you dominated. and you did it without a-” Swift then opened his left wing to reveal it was bloody and misfigured. “Oh, that’s what that cracking sound was when you hit the ground. You broke your wing. I can’t really help you there since wounds stay in death battles,” Umbreon then disappeared in some lightning and Swift was teleported back to the hotel within a pillar of light.
Swift reappeared on the stage and everyone began to stamp (Bucketman clapped) and applaud. “It’s a little sadistic that we’re clapping for a guy who just killed another guy,” Sugar said through the corner of her mouth to TwiPie.
“Yeah, but he really didn’t have a choice, so we can’t exactly boo him. Besides, he might kill us all with that sword if we did.” She explained. Swift walked off the stage, acting as if he didn’t even see them, and then walked out.
“Hold on, doesn’t that mean that more of us are going to fight and possibly perish?” Dr. Terrible said aloud. Everyone tensed up at the possibility of dying. They all awkwardly began to make their way back to their rooms.
Swift had bandages around his injured wing and was bleeding profusely.
“I feel so ashamed,” he thought.
“I know I have killed before, but this time just didn’t feel right. All I ever fought really where some monsters that ran rampant through towns. She wouldn’t be very proud of me, but I really need someone to talk to!’’ He was about to open his Book Ex Machina when he heard a knock on his door.
“Hope it isn’t that kid,” he muttered. Swift opened the door and Sugar was standing there.
“Hi, uhhhh . . . I just wanted to see if your wing was okay since you kinda ummm . . . busted it up,” she said nervously. He turned slightly so she could see the bandages.
“Oh, you’re fine . . . that’s good,” she mumbled. He then closed the door and she sighed.
“Can’t blame a girl for trying’” she muttered as she walked back to her room.
“All right guys, I have an announcement,” Luna said toward the audience. “Since Celestia has been hogging the spotlight for a while and we had a few complaints to Zekrom, we’ve decided to have a set of jurisdictions for each host,” she said.
“If you don’t know what that means, it means that each of us is going to have a set type of chapter we can get to be in,” Luna explained.
“Then who is going to preside over what?” said an audience member.
“I’m going to go over announcements and stuff, Celestia is just comic relief in chapters were Cadence goes over OCs, and Dr. Whooves will talk about . . . I’m not really sure . . . He has been slowly losing importance as the story goes on,” she pondered about the subject.
“Anywho, I have one more announcement. Zekrom has been thinking and he figured that some characters might need help in the battle. Characters like Scarlet Blur, if he were still alive,” she said.
“He believed that some characters, while interesting, needed help.”
“Scarlet Blur had a interesting power, but was easily killed by someone with just a sword. So, Zekrom has decided to make a few new systems within the rules. He decided to make it possible to have any character that isn’t particularly strong be able to use sidekicks. Sidekicks can be made from scratch, but you can also have loved ones be able to become sidekicks as well. That is all,” Luna then left the stage and Cadence walked onstage right afterwards.
“Time to introduce some new-” Celestia then walked onstage.
“This is getting boring,” Celestia said.
“BUT WE JUST HAD AN INNOCENT PONY DIE LAST CHAPTER, FOR PONY’S SAKE!” Cadence screamed at Celestia.
“It kinda is though. We’ve really dipped off the end when it comes to comedy lately.”
“Can’t we have one chapter that isn’t filled with jokes? It has been getting lighter lately, but there was still a joke when someone got killed off, and we’re not even ten thousand words in yet.” she groaned.
“Pssh, it’s not like anyone talked to him or really liked him,” Celestia stated.
“So? Even if we’re blatantly stomping on an OC, someone put their heart and soul into it. We should at least have the decency to drop our comedic stylings for a second. We had a joke ready literally the next paragraph down!” she pleaded.
“People came here for comedy. If they wanted death with actual remorse and whatever they would’ve went up to the browse button and clicked sad,” Celestia said. Cadence gave up arguing and turned her head to the ground.
“Can you just leave so I can say who the new OCs are?” she mumbled.
“Whatever,” she said, then left. Cadence summoned a stack of papers and levitated them.
”Here we are.” The TV then cut on to reveal a mare who was short in terms of hair as well as size.
“This is Magica, by jolan5. She is a chemist unicorn with alchemical skills. With these abilities she can create potions that help, hurt, or even humiliate,” she read off the paper.
Magica began to wake up. She looked around the room. Rather than panicking or getting angry, she simply looked a little annoyed. “Amateurs,” she scoffed. She walked to a corner of the room and picked up a saddlebag with a picture of a flask on it. She picked it up with her magic and sauntered over to the door. She then pulled out a vial of green bubbling liquid and threw it at the door. It broke, and the liquid splashed onto the door with a hiss. The door then began to corrode until there was a huge gaping hole in it. She hopped through the hole and then opened her saddlebag again.
“Should’ve known they would only give me a few ingredients. Oh well.”
The TV shut off. “She seems a little too self aware if you ask me,” Cadence said nervously.
“Ok, we have one last OC, but there’s going to be a little twist with his intro. You see, Celestia convinced Zekrom to have the rest of the chapter be a hotel chapter with the argument...” she then looked at the paper slightly closer, “for the L-U-L-Z.” Cadence sighed. “I hate not having fourth wall awareness.” The TV then came on. A vesper, the hybrid of a bat pony and a unicorn, lay asleep on the bed. Its ears were long and mangy matching, its tail. Its mane (which was just as mangy) covered his left eye.
“This is Crescent, made by Nocturnis Comics. He is a noble member of the night guard who is trained in a variety of fighting styles, but is most proficient in martial arts and sword fighting. He is one of the most recognized guards because in his dimension when the Canterlot Invasion happened he was one of the most effective guards out there. He is feared by many, and some saw him beating a changeling to death with its own severed limb, so his brutality on the battlefield is feared by many.”
Crescent awoke. He looked around quickly, jumped off the bed, ran beside the door, and leaned against the wall on his hind legs. He held his ear up to the door and heard hoofsteps. He immediately opened the door and jumped on the pony, holding them down by their front hooves .
“Oh, come on!” It turned out to be Sugar.
“Why am I here?” asked Crescent, a little too calmly.
“You’re new, aren’t you . . .” she groaned.
“What?”
“All I know is that random ponies are sent here and we mill around waiting until a battle happens and someone dies,”
“That’s all you know?”
“Yes.”
TwiPie then walked out of her room and saw him on top of Sugar. Shock came upon her face and it was soon followed by anger.
“I know I haven’t used this transformation on my tail since I got here, but I guess I have to if the new guy is a creep.” Her tail shifted into a baseball bat that was cartoonishly sized, with a width of about six inches and twice as long as TwiPie herself. she began to run at Crescent.
He was about to get off Sugar, but when she looked briefly to her left she went wide-eyed.
“Why’re y-” He was then hit by the bat, and was sent flying about 20 feet down the hallway.
“Are you okay? He didn’t do . . . stuff to you, did he?” she asked, picking up her friend.
“Yeah, I’m fine, but that guy wasn’t trying to do stuff. He was just a little . . . confused,”
“Oh, My bad . . . I hope he’s not mad,” she laughed. TwiPie then saw Crescent coming back down the hallway. A scowl was on his face. When he reached them he was about to say something, but was immediately awestruck. He stood there not saying anything.
“Hey, buddy! Aren’t you going to tell me off for hitting you?” TwiPie asked, annoyed. He stood there still staring.
“Well, I have it out, so I might as well use it.” She then changed her tail to a mallet that was also abnormally large and bopped him on the head. He fell to the ground with a stupid grin on his face.
“TwiPie!”
“What? He was being weird!”
“Said the mare who can shapeshift her tail.”
“He meant how he acted!”
“Said the mare wh-”
“Just help me get him back to his room. You remember what door he came from, right?”
“Yeah, it’s right there.” She said, pointing to a door with her hoof. TwiPie changed her tail back to normal and then attempted to pull him by his. She could barely move him.
“How come you could move your tailbat thing around like it was a feather?”
“I could easily pick it up because it was my own limb. Just because I can do that doesn't mean I can easily jus pull an unconscious stallion into a room.”
Sugar shook her head and began to help her friend pull the unconscious stallion into a room.
Hours later, Crescent woke up his room.
“What happened?” He then began to recollect his recent memories, and one in particular frightened him. “Why did I stop? I was planning to tell the one that whacked me that I wasn’t doing anything to her friend, but when I got here I became paralyzed and wasn’t able to move when I saw her. It was obvious that she wasn’t a normal pony, since she had knocked me off her friend with overwhelming force. Almost as if she hit me with a tree. I remember that I stopped when I saw her face and those beautiful multicolored eyes,” he thought.
“Wait! Did I just think beautiful? No no no no no! I can’t be in love! Maybe it was just that she had hypnotism or something, right?” He said, trying to think of something else that could have caused the hiccup.
“THAT could never happen! Mares always come to me, and that’s a fact! Her wondrous pink mane and million bit smile mean nothing to- oh, who am I kidding?” He laid on his bed thinking about what the outcomes of having a crush could be in a place like this.
Magica walked down the hallway. She was looking for a specific door, but she just couldn’t find it. Her eyes lit up when she found the one she was looking for. On a gold plate it read “Manager”. Umbreon was sitting at the desk and scribbling on a piece of paper.
“Sit down,” he ordered. She did as told. He put the paper inside the desk he had and slid the pen to the side. “You appear to be the only only here who actually has a level head. I know that you’re going to be a very important player in our little game.”
“Is this a game or test of some kind?” she asked.
“Yes, this whole hotel and everything that surrounds it is called the Battle Dimension, and in it our little game called OC Battle takes place. Never mind what the OC part means. Every once in a while when you’re ambling around the hotel you will be transported to the auditorium or to a arena. If you’re transported to the arena you will be forced to fight the other player who also got teleported. Since you seem to be one of the OCs who are bound to stay very long here, I decided to give you a gift or two . . .”
“That seems a little unfair to the other contestants,” she pretended to sound concerned.
“Do you care?” he smirked evilly.
“Only if the others find out,” she snickered.
“Here is something that the others aren’t going to be able to get until, I don’t know, maybe a week from now?” He handed her an emerald coin. “That beauty that you’re holding in your hooves is called a Battle Bit. You can use it in the hotel gift shop, which technically isn’t a gift shop. It gives you a variety things that can help you cope with being here. It can be from luxuries within your room to things that can aid you in battle. It’s a few doors down and is right beside the rec room.”
“Thanks for the help,” she followed his directions and found a kiosk. Three little girls were sitting in lawn chairs in front of it. Each of them had unusually large heads and eyes. The one in the right lawn chair had blonde ponytails, blue eyes and a blue shirt with a black stripe, the one in the middle had long straight orange hair, red eyes and a red shirt with a black stripe. The one in the left lawn chair had black hair with points on either side, green eyes, and a green shirt with a black stripe across it. They all had their eyes closed and were relaxing.
“Ahem,” They all looked shocked.
“Cheater! You’re not supposed be able to see us until next week!” yelled the green one.
“Buttercup, she’s probably just that potion maker Umbreon told us about,” said the red one.
They all seemed to teleport from the lawn chairs with streams of light matching their respective colors showing path from the lawn chairs to the back of the counter.
“I’m Blossom, the general sales-girl,” said the red one.
“I’m Bubbles, the sidekick seller!” said the blue one.
“And I’m Buttercup, the battle merchant!” said the green one.
“Hmmm . . . What do you have for sale right now Blossom?” asked Magica.
“A sofa, lava lamp, lava lamp with real lava, burlap sack, and assorted spoons and tea cups,” she stated.
“What about you Bubbles?”
“Do you have a signed voucher?”
“What do you mean?”
“To get a sidekick your author must send you a signed voucher.”
“Is there some way I could choose one and send my ‘author’ a message for a voucher?”
“Nope, you can only choose if your author allows you too, and no, you can’t send messages to your author either,”
She sighed in frustration.
“What do you have Buttercup?”
“Well, since you're a potion maker I think you might want some of these,” she then put a phoenix feather, dragon scale, and a jar with pulsing white energy within it on the counter.
“Wait, you guys have raw magic?”
“Yep, so you don’t have to be all pooped trying to make it, and since you’ve been such an interested customer, and since we’re not officially open, you can have it for free,” Magica grabbed the raw magic and galloped off.
“Ha-Ha suckers!” Buttercup bragged to her sisters. “You’re just lucky that potion ingredients are classified as Battle items,” Blossom retorted.
“Look, it’s probably nothing we really should worry about it,” TwiPie tried to reassure her.
“What if someone dies again? What if it’s you? What if it’s me? What if it’s . . . him?”
“Swift is not going to die. Did you see how handled the red guy?”
“Yeah, I know, but if that guy with the cannon or that batpony fights him...” she said, worried.
“Can I start teasing you again? It gets more and more annoying whenever you talk about him.”
“Please don’t.”
“Then what do you think I should do to cope with your obsession?”
“I don’t know . . . I wish I could stop myself sometimes, though.” She hung her head and buried her face in her hooves.
Magica was on the other side of the auditorium labeling her potions. She pulled out a clear bottle filled with liquid. The liquid itself slowly alternated from being blue to orange repeatedly. She pulled a few tags out of her bag with her magic. She selected one that read “p. p.” and stuck it on. Dr. Terrible sat behind her.
“I do not mean to intrude, but what does ‘p. p.’ mean?”
“You’ll find out if I have to battle you, kid,” she replied, pulling out the next bottle which was filled with red liquid.
“Well, I would like to know, and I’m afraid that you calling me kid might not get along well with the janitor here, I’m sure he would hate having to wipe up some mysterious red spills,” he said calmly. Magica turned around.
“Listen, you better not threaten me, because with just a few of these things,” she shook the potion in front of his face, “I could do the exact same thing you claim.” She then scooped up a rat scuttling across the floor and opened the bottle. She placed a drop of the liquid onto the rodent. A loud squeak came from it as its fur, skin, and finally its skeleton disintegrated, and all that was left was a small pile of dust. Dr. Terrible looked with astonishment at the remains of the character
“I would normally brush this off, but that was simply devious, unmerciful, and evil! You simply must teach me!” he exclaimed as his fear turned to excitement.
“Teach? You don’t seem like the . . .” she looked at his lab coat, “potion making type,” she said. He began to pout.
“What do you usually do in your quest to take over? And be honest about it,”
“How’d you know I wanted to take over?”
“Big ego. Lab coat. Unnecessary complex vocabulary,” she listed.
“I didn’t know it was that obvious. Basically what I do is invent things that usually doesn't work. I was planning to give up and just go to some orphanage or something, but then I came upon a tank, attack helicopter, and some metal rods in my junkyard and made this marvelous mech that can do all sorts of things. I try and try again to make something as destructive or even more destructive than it, but I really can’t.”
“So, materials are your problem?” she asked as she put the red potion back in her bag.
“You could say that.”
“Well, I could help you with that, but I require something.”
“And what might that be?” She then pulled out a orange potion and drank some of it. All of her teeth became sharp and her eyes turned blood red. She turned to him and fire started burning in her eyes.
“YOUR SOUL!” she cackled.
“EEP!” he yelped. Her teeth then fell out and new normal ones grew back instantly, while her eyes returned to normal.
“Just kidding,” she laughed.
“Maybe she’s a little too evil,” he thought to himself.
Crescent looked around the room. He longed for someone to talk to. He looked at Bucketman. “No, too strange.” He looked toward TwiPie. “No, too . . . confusing.” He looked toward Ink Sword and Swift Sky. “They both seem decently normal.” However, Swift looked a little too normal. He got off his chair and walked to Ink. “Hi,” greeted Crescent when he sat beside him.
“Hey,” Ink replied. Crescent awkwardly shuffled around in his chair.
”Do you read comics?” he asked.
“Does Captain Equestria kick flank?” he said as a smile crept onto his face.
“Only if he has a shield,” Crescent said as a smirk emerged from him.
Just then, the curtains onstage opened and everyone grew silent.
“Hello everyone! There are some things that are going to be new to OC Battle. Due to a miscommunication, an OC has actually been misrepresented,” he stated. “Sugar Crumbs, can you come up here please?” Sugar Crumbs got up from her chair with a worried look on her face and climbed onto the stage. “To fix this problem, and to uphold our policy to make sure that crazypony100 won’t get mad, Sugar will be getting something.” A glowing pink orb with a lollipop on it then descended in front of Sugar. Umbreon then kicked Sugar right into it.
“What’s going- AAAHHHH!” she screamed in agony as she was shocked with magic. Everyone (except Umbreon) cringed. After about two minutes of screaming the orb dispersed and Sugar was left sprawled across the stage. She panted heavily as the pain subsided. “Priceless,” Umbreon chuckled. Sugar Crumbs got up and turned to Umbreon angrily.
”You‘re really laughing after what I just went through?” Without even closing her eyes pink magic swirled around her horn as she glared at Umbreon. Pink rock candy then began to sprout around the bottom of the pokemon’s hoof, restraining his legs. “What’re you doing, equine? I thought you were trying to win the ‘Prissiest Pony of the Year’ award!” he mocked.
“You won’t be laughing when I’m done with you,” she said. A paw emerged from Umbreon’s black robe and shot towards her, shooting red and dark energy at her. Sugar immediately responded with a wall of clear rock candy. The blast reflected off of it and and went through the red curtains, leaving a smoldering hole. Her horn glowed again and pink flashes of magic danced around Umbreon, with strange creatures arising from them. They were two-layer cakes with arms and beady black eyes, and had mouths that opened and closed by separating the two layers of their bodies, and they had blue streamer-like tongues. Umbreon was unimpressed by them.
“You call these minions? I’ve seen better from a foal and a bunch of action figure” he laughed, not noticing the monsters looking hungrily at him.
“Now little ones, you can’t eat the mean little dog like that. He’s not good enough . . . yet.” Her horn then glowed once more and a ball of candy, desserts, and all kind of sweets began hovering above her, steadily growing. Sugar closed her eyes as she concentrated. Umbreon tried to get free by shooting the rock candy that held him, but whenever he pulled his paw out the cake monsters simply stabbed it. The ball was now gigantic and towered over the whole stage. A stream of sweets then shot down from it and a cake abominations poked him.
“That didn’t hurt you insol-” the candy then plunged itself into his mouth. The cake things then ran off the stage a out the door. “Why are they running?” Ink Sword asked Crescent.
“The dog could explode.”
Umbreon’s torso grew as more and more food filled his body. His Robe ripped off of him as he grew. He grew to five, ten, and finally nearly fifteen feet. The ball of candy was now about the size Umbreon was before candy was stuffed down his gullet. Finally, Umbreon was now twenty feet tall and twenty feet wide, taking up nearly 90% of the stage. There were no more desserts left, and so Sugar walked off the stage. “I would have my little fledglings eat you, but you’ve become a little too much for them,” she said.
“You’ll pay for-” he burped, “this,” “What do you guys think I should do?” she said to the others. “Pull that lever!” Dr. Terrible said, pointing toward the hole. Sugar looked at the hole and it turned out that there was in fact a lever right behind the curtain. She trotted behind the curtains and pulled the lever. A gaping hole then appeared and Umbreon fell through it into a seemingly endless abyss. Sugar turned toward her peers and was met with a thunderous applause that continued all the way until the next chapter.
Zekrom sat silently in his swivel chair. The deity stood at 7’2, and wore a gray T-shirt and khakis. He had black pawlike hands and his skin was a leathery reptilian like skin and at the top of his head he had a large blue extension coming from his head that glowed and sparked with electricity. Lastly, he had ruby-red eyes. He sat in front of a huge magical holograph showing all the unique dimensions. He looked disinterested. “I’m tired of just screwing around with dimensions others made!” he yelled hopping out f his chair onto two legs.. “Umbreon!” Umbreon scurried into the room his robe whipping behind hi. He pulled the hood off his head amd a dog-like head with with enormous yellow ringed ears emerged.
“Yes?” Umbreon ased.
“I’m making a dimension? What should it be about?”
“I’m not sure sir, maybe you should look around fimfiction,”
“Why? I It’s just a bunch of stories,” Zekrom crossed his arms. “I thought that too but, recently I was looking around and found out that stories become dimensions. You see I was looking around the site and found a story I loved. I especially liked the world within it an searched for someplace similiar to it and found the exact world with the same events and ponies,” he explained.
“Writing? I suck at that though You saw the last story I made right?” Zekrom then summoned a computer and showed Umbreon what he had written before,”
“It wasn’t really that bad. I think you just need something with maybe slightly less narrative and actually know what you doing?”
“Will you help . . . me with it? I seems like you know what you’re doing,”
“What! No!” Umbreon exclaimed
“But, I thought-”
“You thought wrong. While it was not that good the first two chapters had alot of potential but, you dropped off the deep end from there. Just write what you will think will be 100 times better than it and is original as all hell,”
“Wait, Original . . . THAT’S IT!” Zekrom then snatched up the computer from Umbreon and typed furiously.
“What’s your idea?”
“How about there is this game show type thing where all contestents are OCs sent by the viewers. That has never been done before!”
“What about those death battle stories?”
“I’m using OCs! It’s also going to have some humor that isn't all exposition! No offence,” Zekrom said turning to no one in particular.”Umbreon I’m also going to need you to switch to your jerk personality. Jolteon will carry the other,”
“What! Why can’t I just be nice but, honest to the contestants and hosts like I am with you?” he complained.
“Sorry, I need someone like this but, it can’t be a contestant or alliances will form to kill him off,”
“But-” Zekrom teleported him away before he could finish his sentence
Luna stood onstage. “We have a special episode for you today. We’re finally officially introducing sidekicks! You may now all send vouchers to your OCs. One request for a sidekick came early, so there’s going to be a sidekick in this chapter,” she stated, “Enjoy the show!”
Magica was in her room labeling the potions she had made that day. She was about to stick a tag on a green potion when she heard a knock on her door. She put the potion on a table and walked over to the door, unsure who would be at her door at this or any other time. A yellow dog creature with big black eyes looked up at her.
“Hello, I’m Jolteon, and I’ll be your temporary host for the Battle dimension!” Jolteon said with a smile.
“What happened to Umbreon?” Magica asked.
Jolteon scratched the fur on her neck.
“Don’t worry about it. Anyway, I have a few questions to ask you.” She pulled out a clipboard and pen out of nowhere and put on some reading glasses.
“How would you rate your stay here? Would you say ‘I hate it here!’ ‘it’s great!’ or ‘it could be better?’”
“It could be better,” Magica answered.
“Perfect!”
She wrote something on the piece of paper, still having that constant smile on her face.
“How would you feel if any of the facilities inside the hotel such as the rec room were outside?”
“I don’t really use the rec room, but the gift shop . . . I kinda like it being inside, but it might get a little crowded when the others find out about it, so Maybe if you expanded it if you decided to actually go through with it.”
“Awesome!” she wrote on the paper again.
“Okay, last question. How would you destroy Zekrom if you ever had the chance?”
“I don’t know . . . I’m not sure, since I don’t exactly know who he is or how powerful he is, but I guess I could throw a few potions at him.”
“Great!” She returned the clipboard to wherever she got it from and took off the glasses. “Before I leave, here’s a sidekick voucher your author sent you.” She handed Magica the voucher and scurried off.
Magica was at the gift shop.
“You have a voucher?” Bubbles asked. Magica proudly slid the paper onto the table. Bubbles swiped it up.
“Thank you!”
She turned around and fed it into a machine of some kind.
“The card to your sidekick will be in your room when you go back there,” Bubbles said.
“Card? What do you-” Bubbles then held her arm, I mean hand, I mean, SERIOUSLY WHAT THE HECK DO THEY HAVE? Let’s just try this again on a new paragraph.
Bubbles held her upper appendage to Magica’s mouth and whispered, “you’ll see when you get there.”
A blank gray card sat on her table. She picked it up with her magic and was about to look at it more closely, but it turned into a stone brick with a loud clunk. It then burst into a huge gray sand cloud, blinding her and making her lose concentration. She dropped it in the kerfuffle and soon heard sounds of stone, chains, and other things snapping together.
When the smoke cleared, the table was in splinters on the floor. What stood in its place was a stone golem. It was made out of bricks. Magica ran her hoof across the golem’s surface, surprised by how smooth each individual brick was. Magica took her hoof off of it and looked at its face. It was mainly just a block of the same stone bricks, but the only thing that really stood out to her was the one-inch-wide slit going from the front to the back of the head. Magica was about to say something, until she spotted a stone tablet with inscribings on it at the golem’s feet. She picked it up and read it aloud.
“To turn on your S.A.G.E., or Some Automated Golem Enslaved, please wave your hoof in front of it.”
Magica cautiously waved her hoof in front of the automaton’s face. Two blue lights in the slit flickered on. She read some more from the table “Once he is turned on, say ‘Activate’ and a compartment will open where you can put the tablet. After some scanning, he’ll be ready for use.”
She finished reading and turned the tablet around to make sure there was nothing else of interest to read. It was blank, so Magica said ‘Activate” as it told her to. A drawer-type thing then slid out of its chest and she stuck in the manual. A whirring sound could be heard from within the golem.
When the sound stopped, Magica was in the air three feet above the ground. The golem had picked her up and was either trying to crush all her vital organs or hugging her.”
“What . . . are you . . .doing?” Magica wheezed.
A low growling sound came from the golem and he put her down.
“Tell me why you showed such carelessness towards your master!” she demanded. The golem responded with another low growl.
“Speak!”
A low mumble came from the automaton.
“Speak . . . up,” she said, gritting her teeth.
”Raaw-Baaa Tooooo-tra,” the golem responded in a deep, gruff voice.
“Okay, since you can’t speak, can you at least draw it out or something?” she sighed.
The golem took a step to the right off of the wooden shards. He began to sort them into a pattern of some kind. He then pulled Magica to his side.
“You wanted to give me a hug . . . because you love . . . me.”
She looked in horror at the crudely put together picture of a heart.
“No . . . I can’t have a minion who loves me. He’s supposed to blindly follow my orders and not care what they are.It’s platonically right?”
“Un-trunta-pok?”
“Draw it.”
He then repositioned the pieces of wood into a question mark.
“You don’t know what platonically means . . .”
He shook his head.
“Do you know what a crush is?”
He shook his head again.
She paced, trying to think of another question.
‘What do you see me as?”
He rearranged the wood again to make a picture. He suddenly stopped and grabbed a wooden chair. He crushed it into more pieces and dumped them onto the floor with the others.
After another minute or two of shuffling around the destroyed furniture,he stopped and looked to Magica. She examined the new picture. It was a surprisingly detailed picture of her hugging the golem with a speech bubble saying “I love you son,” .
“That explains it. Time to go to the gift shop and ask for a trade-in.”
She started for the door, but a green pillar of light wrapped around her.
“Great . . .” she groaned as she disappeared.
Magica was then warped to a new arena. She looked around and noticed that this arena was different. Unlike the last arena, this one was much more . . . vibrant, to say the least. It was a large town with a bunch of brightly colored houses, with jump ropes, pogosticks, and other toys for fillies and colts laying strewn about. Magica began to walk down the sidewalk, examining the whole town. It was quite strange, because a lot of things suggested people lived here, but there wasn’t a soul to be seen. She looked at the street and saw that Jolteon was standing in the middle of it, tapping her foot with her trademark smile still profusely in view. She was standing with Ink Sword. He was tapping his claw too; however, he had a much less friendly expression.
“Done examining the field?” Jolteon asked.
“Yeah, sure,” she said, walking over to them.
“This a no-harm fight. That means that you won’t be killed forever if you are defeated. However, the winner will get a prize. Since there are no negative stakes, you aren’t allowed to surrender. Now, Magica, do you want your sidekick to join you in this battle?”
Magica looked at the cannon slung around her opponent’s shoulder.
“Yep.” the golem then appeared behind her with a familiar clunk.
“BEGIN!” Jolteon yelled as she disappeared in a yellow ball of lightning.
Ink Sword lifted up his left foreleg and ejected his sword, holding it to Magica’s throat.
“Let’s just end this qui-” Ink Sword was then flattened. He had just been bonked on the head by the golem’s massive stone hands.
Magica, for the first time, looked up at her golem with a look of approval. She was about to take a potion out of her bag, but the golem quickly grabbed her and began to lumber up the street.
“Why did,” she gasped as her lungs liquefied, “you do that?”
“Bomat-Wetaku!” he said as he dropped her back down. He pointed back to Ink Sword, who was now back up. He then pointed to a house with a large smoldering hole in it.
“Wait, how’d that happen?”
She pondered for a moment, ignoring Ink Sword angrily walking toward them.
“He shot that when he was down?”
The golem nodded.
“And when I was digging in my bag he was about to shoot me?”
He nodded again.
“Wow, I never thought you would’ve been so use-” she stopped talking when she saw a huge blast of blue plasmic energy rocketing toward her. She frantically dug in her bag for a potion.
“Cover me!” she yelled to the golem. Magica threw some potions at him, one blue, one orange, and one green. He immediately swept them all away with a flick of the wrist. They splashed on the ground, leaving a puddle of ice, fice, and acid.
“You were supposed to run past the blast and throw those at him to keep him from shooting!” she watched as five more blast were shot and now six speeding balls of energy were coming right at them.
“Journin!” he yelled back to her, with what she assumed to be anger in his voice. “We’re dead.”
he plasma blasts were now only 25 feet away from them. The golem got in a defensive position. 20 feet. He held up his arms. 15 feet. He held both of them behind him, outstretched. 10 feet. The blast was now about to close in, and Magica braced herself and closed her eyes.After a few seconds she opened her eyes again, wondering why she wasn’t back at the hotel. Magica looked in awe at her sidekick. He was being scooted back every second, his hands in front of him, holding back the first blast. The second one hit, grouping with the first one. The third one hit and grouped with the other two, and he began to scoot back at a faster pace. The fourth one hit and he was sent back at an even faster pace. The fifth hit didn’t move him at all, but Magica heard a loud crunching sound. She watched in horror as the bricks that made up his arms began to crack and shake violently.
Ink Sword looked at the smoke rising above the remains of the golem with joy. His claws clicked against the ground as he walked to Magica. When he was only a few meters away from her, he lifted a leg and ejected his sword. Magica stood in front of him, silently holding a potion in her magic. A look of anger was in her eyes as she stared him down.
“Listen, I don’t know if you liked that thing, but I didn’t want it to knock me out again, all right?” Ink Sword said. Magica rolled her eyes.
”All right, whatever.”
Ink Sword then began shooting yellow energy blasts which, while not as big, were definitely faster.
Magica barely had any time to react. She ran to a nearby house, hearing the projectiles whizzing past her. She swung open the door with her magic and scurried in, slamming the door behind her.
Ink Sword stopped shooting.
“Does she honestly think that a door could survive any of my energy blasts? Heck, a swift swipe of my sword would do the job. Might as well just bust in there and kill her already.”
He shot a C4 charge onto the door. It exploded on impact and ambled to the entrance. Ink took a step in, and when he did he fell. He looked up and saw Magica smiling mischievously at him.
“I still had an acid potion, and I decided to let it not go to waste,” she yelled down the hole. Magica dropped down an empty potion bottle down at him. It crashed on the floor into pieces.
“I could kill you right now with my cannon!” Ink yelled.
“I thought you might say that.” Magica took out a potion that looked just like water. She poured some on her hoof and walked up to a bookshelf . Magica used her magic to lift it up and and turn it around so the back faced her. She poured the solution onto her hooves.
Ink Sword noticed she hadn’t popped her head in the hole for quite a while. He decided that he could just fly out the hole and kill her while she was doing . . . whatever she was doing. It occured him that she had actually expected him to sit here and do nothing while she concocted something to counter one of his main offenses. He face . . . clawed? Yeah, that seems about right. Anyway, he began to fly up the tunnel, but when he was just about to fly out the top, the bookshelf came down.
“OOOOWWWW!” he yelled in pain. He rubbed his head and began to charge up a energy blast. Magica didn’t respond. He was about to shoot, but he remembered how he got in this hole. A different solution came to mind and a drill popped out of his cannon.
Magica was aboveground, tapping her foot. The plan was that he was going to shoot his way out, thus causing the potion to explode. Deep in thought, she sat down and began to ponder what could have happened to her combatant.
“Thought I was going to fall for it, Didn’t you?” She whipped around in shock to find Ink Sword standing in the doorway. A hoof frantically went down into her bag and she searched desperately for something to get rid of him. She looked down to find that all of her offensive items were gone. All she had were some healing potions. Fear crossed her face as Ink sword walked forward and smiled the same way he did when he destroyed the golem. Ink ejected his sword and raised it above his head as he dealt the final blow. Ink’s paws clinked on the floor as reappeared in the auditorium. Cheers filled the room.
“All right, since Ink Sword won, he gets a prize.” Jolteon closed her eyes. “What do you want?” A yellow aura swirled around her.
“Why’re you doing that?” Ink asked.
“I’m channeling Zekrom’s power so I can summon your prize. It’s kinda hard, but take your time.” Her voice sounded a little strained.
“I want . . . An attack that allows me to temporairly call a sidekick being to deliver the finishing blow or to provide temporary help, possibly lending me a weapon if someone destroys my main ones,”
Jolteon opened her eyes. They glowed red and a paw reached out and touched Ink Sword. She held it there. It then fell to her side and the aura disappeared.
“I don’t feel any different. Your paw didn’t even glow or anything when you touched me!”
“Of course you wouldn’t. You can only use that temporary sidekick during a battle,” Jolteon hopped off the stage and teleported in her electric ball again.
Magica looked around and saw that her golem was standing in the back of the room. She walked nonchalantly over to him and motioned for him to follow her. She walked out of the room and he followed.
“That wasn’t satisfactory at all! Where’s the epic conclusion or some painstakingly detailed second half!? An audience member yelled
“Atleast it was released. Heck, Zekrom to was about to make mini-series based around us host to keep you guys fed till he finished this since he kinda pushed us to the side in the later chapters,”
“But, we would’ve loved that though!”
“Oh well, It’s not like Zekrom’s going to cast a vote or some-” Celestia was hit by a rock mid sentence.
Celestia and Cadence stood on stage. Celestia smiled as she stared at the audience in silence.
“Yep, it’s going to be a hot chapter, little ones.” She then turned to Cadence and started to lean in close. Cadence immediately slapped her.
“I might not be married in this universe, but that doesn’t mean I’m comfortable with this joke!”
“Hey, you're not supposed to break the fourth wall, Cadence,” Celestia said, rubbing her cheek.
“I’ve actually had it for a while now, but you don’t need to know the details.” Cadence summoned a stack of papers and held it in front of her face.
“Anyway, we still have a few OCs that need to get in, so we’ll start with a girl who-”
“She has an airship and kicks flank. Nuff said,” Celestia interrupted.
“Well, I would stop there, but I’m pretty sure the viewers probably want a better explanation.”
“Why?”
“Well, firstly we didn’t tell them his name yet, and-”
“Oh, so we gotta tell them her name and other junk so they can differentiate him from all the people who aren’t as awesome?”
“Yeah, that’s exactly why.” Cadence rolled her eyes as she resumed reading the paper.
“Made by Nagmeister, Steel Wind is a pegasus airship captain and she has an airship. She kicks flanks.” She looked up at no one in particular and glared. She mumbled angrily as she watched the TV turn on.
A pegasus with a gray coat and a loose brown mane was sleeping on the bed. She yawned and sat up and adjusted her goggles and brown hat. As she got more awake she looked around.
“Gosh darn it all. Guess I’m in the war again.” She rolled off the bed onto her hooves and slowly approached the door. She peeked her head outside and was surprised that there wasn’t a guard something outside ready to kill her on the spot. She cautiously stepped out and walked down the hallway, keeping her eyes peeled.
“Okay, next we have Raptor, made by raptor da raptor. Raptor is a red raptor with green eyes who has the ability of a healing factor. He can heal cuts in seconds, bones in minutes, limbs in 10 minutes, and can regenerate his heart, brain, or other organs in five minutes. Another ability he has is that he has a very powerful voice which allows him to screech loudly and mimic others voices. Lastly, he has the ability to grow feathers when he’s in a cold environment. Since a lot of people are offput by his somewhat monstrous appearance, he usually wears a cloak that disguises him as a pony.” Cadence looked at Celestia in anticipation.
“Well?” Cadence tapped her hoof on the ground.
“What do you mean?”
Cadence opened her mouth to say something, but stopped. The TV turned on.
Raptor was asleep on the bed. When he woke up his eyes dilated. He got up on his feet in a matter of seconds. He looked around the room and saw that his cloak was on the wall.
“Well, wherever I am, this place lets me keep my stuff.” He jumped off the bed and grabbed the cloak. He tied it around his neck and pulled the hood over his head, walking outside the room as he got shorter.
“Okay, last but not least, we have Ulysses.”
“And he’s pretty cool.” Cadence turned to Celestia and raised her hoof.
“It wasn’t me this time! Honest!” Celestia held her hooves up in a defensive position. A portal opened above them.
“Oh, what now?” Cadence groaned. A human then jumped out of the portal. He had a tan complexion and was wearing an orange t-shirt, dirt-ridden pants, stetson, and duster. Cadence took a step back from him when she noticed the chainsaw strapped to his back.
“Who are you?” Cadence asked.
“I’m Ulysses. Can you tell me where Luna is?” he asked.
“No, I’m sorry bu-”
“Did someone call me?” Luna asked, walking onto the stage. Ulysses immediately slapped her and she went straight down. Her sunglasses sat crooked on her nose as she laid on the ground unconscious.
“Bitch. Anywhoosies, I wanted to tell the audience here about myself personally.”
“Wait, before you do, that could you please explain how you got here? This dimension is private you know,” Cadence said.
“Oh, well, I asked Zekrom for the password to this dimension and he said I could come here this one time. So, before you ask anymore questions, will you please allow me to tell about myself before I kill everyone here in the audience?”
“LET HIM DO IT!” yelled every audience member. Cadence sighed.
“Fine.”
“Well, I was born in Nevada, and one one day while I was hacking off the head of a lycanthropic undead wizard with a saw, I found a chainsaw not too far away from him and tried that to mutilate the rest of bastard’s body and it worked, so I’ve been killing people, monsters, and whatever else I’ve don’t like with that primarily. What I use for secondary came from this duster I stole off the utility belt of that wizard. It’s in this duster.” He patted the article of clothing when he said its name.
“You see, I have four pockets in this thing. The upper left one gives me unlimited throwing knives, like so.” He pulled a throwing knife and chucked it at the audience.
“My eye!”
“The upper-right one has unlimited tomahawks. Allow me to demonstrate this too.” He pulled out a tomahawk and threw it at the same audience member.
“The rest of my face!”
“The bottom-left one carries six machetes, but I usually only use two at a time in battle. They’re mostly for defense, but if I feel it’s necessary I can send out six tendrils to do what I call the ‘Six Star Parry,’ in which your melee attacks will most likely be deflected and countered. I won’t demonstrate that because I would risk harming my lord and savior Celesti-christ.” He bowed to her again.
“I also have this ‘dark form’ which basically channels my primal and basic instincts until I become like my great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather slenderman.”
“Slenderman? Really?” Cadence scoffed.
“Yep, and do you want me to explain how it works or show you how it works up close and personal?” he asked, getting up in her face.
“Umm . . . Sorry, I was talking about the fanfiction that one of the audience members wrote.” Cadence put on a fake smile and took a few more steps away from him.
“All right, so in that dark form my pants, duster, and boots turn pitch-black, my shirt turns red, and my face turns bone-white. After my clothes change to the colors of an OC made by an edgy 12-year-old, my face changes and I have no facial features except a mouth that kinda looks like a rip, but in actuality it’s just really jagged and as strong as iron. Okay, now, I might be boring you with all this exposition for just one new character. Hell, my description is taking a quarter of the chapter, but I’m on my second to last thing and you got through it this far, so just try to stick through the rest. You can do it!” Ulysses cheered.
“The second-to-last thing is due to me not taking the medication that’s made me ‘normal’ for the past few years, and I’ve developed the ability to have this sort of Mad Man's endurance, which basically means if you shove a pole through me then I’ll hop off it and break your collarbone. Lastly is my warp ability, which I kinda already demonstrated when I got in here. The only detail about it is that isn’t obvious is that it drains my energy somewhat depending on how large it is. I can hold ones that can things the size of Hydras about 15 minutes, but after that long I might be a lot weaker and tired.”
“Since you're finally done with that exposition dump, will you please get in the show already?” Celestia asked.
“As you wish, my lord.” A portal appeared above his head and he jumped in it. The TV then turned on. Ulysses was on the screen and he was currently cutting the door open with his chainsaw.
Ink and Crescent were in the dojo/gym/obstacle course part of the rec room and were currently trying to figure out what they should train for.
“Well, I think we should go over swordplay since there a lot of people with swords here in one way another. You have a sword, I have a sword construct spell, Swift or whatever his name is has a sword, and I bet there’s another guy who uses a sword who we don’t know about,” Crescent informed.
“You sure you should be giving information on your sword constructs out to me?” Ink asked.
“To be honest, I don’t think it matters. I wouldn’t be surprised if the people who supposedly ‘died’ was all faked. You ever notice how the battle always ends right after a victor is declared? We never have any type of proof that someone died until the final blow. For all we know this could be all controlled be some type of collective dream that is controlled by a machine made by a group of scientists. While it might seem a little farfetched a reason, it is plausible. There are many reasons that could’ve come up for them doing this. Maybe having machine could have countries resolve conflict in a more peaceful yet still somewhat violent way, another reason could be that they were all prisoners to a-”
“All right, enough conspiracy theories. We should just train and worry about that if we decide to do a rebellion or something.” Ink covered his mouth. Crescent removed Ink’s claw from his mouth.
“Sorry, it’s just that being here has caused me to think a lot.” Crescent rubbed the back of his head.
“It’s fine. So, I guess you’d just have to practice with me.” Ink ejected his sword.
“You don’t have any more swords?” Crescent asked.
Ink gave him a confused look. “Why?”
“I guess you don’t.” Crescent’s horn glowed with a blue light and seven swords with a similar color appeared in front of him.
“Oh, that’s why.”
“You ready?” Crescent asked.
“Wait, hold on.” A shield popped out of his cannon.
“Really? You have a shield in that thing? Do you have a Nacho cheese shooter in there too?”
“Umm . . .”
“Forget it. Let’s just start.” Crescent turned his swords to Ink and three went hurling at him. Ink held up his shield. A smile appeared as he heard a clash of metal.
“I win,” Crescent proclaimed.
“What do you mean?” Ink inquired.
“Look around you.” Ink did as he said and saw that the other six swords had him from all sides.
“Well played.”
“Want to try again?” Crescent smirked as he repositioned the seven swords in front of him again.
“That’s not what I’m talking about.” Ink’s gryphon form disappeared in green flames. When the flames were gone, a bipedal changeling stood in his place. Crescent opened his mouth to say something.
“Don’t ask just yet. I’ll explain after I beat you.” Crescent shrugged and sent the seven swords out in Ink's direction.. Ink’s horn glowed and a magic field formed around him. All the swords hit it, and cracks spread all around the field. Crescent smirked.
“Smart, but there’s a different chink in your armor now.” Two swords disappeared.
“How will getting rid of two swords he-” Another sword appeared that was about twice as big as a regular sword. The bigger sword and the rest of the blades came down. Ink rolled out of the way and his shield dissipated.
“All right, you win.” Ink changed back to his gryphon form.
“Really? You’re surrendering?” Crescent asked.
“Yeah, I need to work on my magic.”
“Well, how are you supposed to improve your magic without a book on magic, Ink?” Crescent asked.
“I don’t know, Crescent. If only there was a place where I could buy things to help me succeed in the battle.”
Jolteon appeared in a bolt of lightning with a fairy costume.
“Now there is a place like that, Ink Sword!” she exclaimed, “It’s called the battle store, and now all contestants can use it!”
“But how do we pay for things, since we came here with no bits or other currency?”
“Check your pockets!” Suddenly Ink and Crescent had pants on. Ink dug into his pocket and found some green coins.
“What are these, Jolteon?” Ink asked.
“Those are battle tokens, and you can use them in the shop,”
“Thanks, Jolteon!” Crescent and Ink jumped in the air, high-fived, and freeze framed.
They all faded to black on the TV.
“Well, that was . . . nice.” Cadence put on a fake smile.
“Well, I thought it was absolute sh-” Celestia got hit in the face with a rock.
“There once was a man. A man of mystery, of heart, of bu- wait. Buckets? You’re joking right? We’re not starting it this way are we?” Celestia asked, looking between the others and her script. “Well, I guess we are on this track. I’ll just try to act like this is normal” She continued with a hoof rubbing her temple.
“Let’s just do this together” Dr. Whooves said, looking at his script. “
Bucketman, the man of buckets, looks around his room. This was, admittedly, the sort of day that took the cake. Here he was, shoved into some sort of arena until he won. Not exactly the sort of thing you put on your list with ‘Get milk and eggs’. Sighing, he reaches into his coat and pulls out his canteen. He shakes it in his hand to find it empty. Great… maybe there’s some place around here he can get a drink?
Bucketman gets off of his bed, and twists, cracking his back. He lets out a light yawn and pushes his door open, entering the hallway. Looking one direction, and looking the other direction, he sighed. Not knowing which was which, he just started walking. Looking around himself, the halls were very plain. White flower-patterned wallpaper stained with aged adorned the hallway walls, and a sturdy oakwood floor. The ceiling was made of speckled gray-white square panels, with wall lamps between every door. The hallway itself was unusually spacious. An elephant could walk through, leaving space for other people to walk by.
As he began to walk down the hallway he spotted another human. The tall man seemed to be pretty young, but at the same time… aged almost. He was jimmying a door with a coathanger.
“C’mon… I know you have to have knives in there…” He muttered, hissing slightly as part of the coat hanger somehow whipped back, hitting him in the face.
Bucketman cleared his throat, grabbing his attention. He turned around and looked at Bucketman with confusion at first, then looked startled.
“Ahh… shit, this your room?” He asked, before looking at the coathanger, then him again. “Uhhh… this coat hanger was sticking out of the lock, and it didn’t exactly seem safe, so I was trying to get it out?” He asked again, knowing he was caught.
Bucketman cocked his head at first, then shrugged. He grabbed the coat hanger and gave it a yank. It gave a slight amount of resistance, but came out no problem otherwise. He tossed it to the side and held his hand out for a shake.
“Damnit, that was my last one… Oh, uhh, greetings eh? Right, well, the name’s Ulysses. I’m currently volunteering at this little shindig. What’s your name?” Ulysses said, shaking Bucketmans hand firmly with a black, leather gloved hand in return.
Bucketman reached into his coat, and pulled out a name card. Ulysses grabbed it, and looked at it with a quirked eyebrow.
“Bucketman eh? Well, could’ve been worse. Say, yanking on that coat hanger has my appetite worked up. Wanna hit the mess hall? Might be able to find it after popping open a few portals,” Ulysses suggested.
Bucketman pointed at a sign, which was conveniently above the door.
‘Caution: No alteration of physics that may result in arriving on another plane of existence when not in battle. Will result in immediate expulsion’
“... Or we could take the scenic route. Sometimes you just need to stretch the legs,” He says again, rubbing the back of his head.
They look around the large lunchroom. Lining the walls were machines, with a variety of options on them. Large, circular tables filled the room, with gray plastic chairs lining them.
“Huh… reminds me of my old high school lunchroom. Except, well, there isn’t graffiti on that wall over there… or a group of jocks shoving some poor kid’s face into the ‘mystery meat’ over there… Brings back memories really…” Ulysses said with a soft smile, looking upon the room.
Bucketman however, was already halfway across the room, heading towards the machines.
“Christ, wait for me would you?” Ulysses said, letting loose a pair of black tentacles to latch into the ceiling, picking himself up, so he could traverse across the lunchroom without dodging through tables.
By the time Ulysses dropped down, Bucketman was rubbing the side of his helmet, before snapping his fingers and hugging the machine with incredible joy.
“You… alright there?” Ulysses asked.
Bucketman didn’t respond, instead pressing a few buttons and put his canteen under the nozzle, causing harsh smelling, brown fluid to pour out from the machine.
“Sniff… is that… Whiskey?”
Bucketman shook his head fervently, before pulling out the canteen. He pops the top on, before sticking his head into the machine, letting more of the whiskey flow… somewhere. Ulysses, meanwhile, was staring at what was happening before him, and started to grin wolfishly.
“Ah, so you’re a drinker? Let me get in on that action,” Ulysses said, gently prying Bucketman aside to get under the machine.
“And that’s how Equestria was made!” TwiPie said, bouncing alongside Ink Sword.
Ink Sword, meanwhile, was having an aneurism. How could something like… this, come into existence? What did potatoes even have to do with the making of Equestria, let alone their original topic of applied physics?
“Everything!” TwiPie says, booping Ink Sword on the beak.
“Wha… how in the…” Ink Sword tried to formulate a response, before she pulled a large blackboard out of nowhere.
“Look, Equestria’s a place of peace, and as such the war economy is non-existent. As a result, sciences and agriculture alike had a major impact upon it. At its day an age, apple orchards weren’t quite as common, so other means of food were required, namely the cash crop of potatoes. While ponies seldom use potatoes in many recipes today, it was the agricultural equivalent of a multi-tool. Starches and flours, adhesives, and in some cases even toys were made from carved, dried, potatoes coated in saps, provided they didn’t get too wet. Now, as for the sciences being involved in the making of Equestria-” TwiPie was beginning, before a loud shout came from down the hall.
“Gangway!”
Rolling down the hall in a shopping cart was Bucketman wearing a lampshade loosely on his bucket, and Ulysses was perched behind him, whipping his tentacles at the ground haphazardly to push them along at their current subsonic speeds while gripping the cart handle tightly. TwiPie and Ink Sword barely managed to get out of the way of the mass of black tentacles, but the blackboard unfortunately cracked in half, shards of gray slate and wood scattering to the four winds. Ulysses and Bucketman though, were laughing heartily, zooming down the hall.
At the end of the hallway, they attempted to make a turn, but the cart instead flipped over, sending Bucketman crashing into the floor, and in Ulysses’ case, the wall. Bucketman was giggling on the floor like a schoolgirl, surprisingly only getting out of the situation with a small case of road rash, and Ulysses chuckled, though sounded very muffled through the drywall and wood.
After a large amount of struggling, Ulysses stops moving for a moment, whipping at the wall with his tentacles, allowing him to shake free through the rubble. He pants and coughs for a brief moment, slamming his fist against his chest. Eventually, he manages to hack up a large cloud of white dust. Sighing in relief, he helps up Bucketman, patting his back when he manages to get back up.
“You… you know kid, you’re alright. A.O. fucking K. in my books. We ever get slammed into a tag-team battle or something like that, I’ve got your back,” Ulysses says softly, his face beet red from the alcohol.
Bucketman simply gives a thumbs up in reply, nodding his head too.
Celestia looks at the scene with a small smile, chuckling lightly at the two humans’ drunken antics.
“You know, something about this seems… off,” Luna said, scratching the back of her neck.
“What do you mean by that?” Cadence asked, looking at Luna with worry.
“I don’t know, it almost seems like-” Luna began, but a fifth, unknown voice interrupted.
“Like someone else pretty much wrote this chapter?”
Everypony in the room turned around to look at a tall scarecrow leaning back in a chair with his straw hat tipped back, and a scythe leaning against him.
“Ah buck! Kill it! With fire!” Dr. Whooves yelled, tossing a molotov at it, only for it to be caught.
“Right, well, Zekky-poo loves you all very much, but his computer broke down, so I’m acting as a stand-in for now. So get ready for one crazy ride,” The scarecrow said smoothly, looking nowhere in particular.
“... Who are you?” Celestia asked with legitimate confusion.
“... He didn’t give you the memo? Right, guess he didn’t, with a lack of computer and all… name’s Toasty, Toasty the Scarecrow. It’ll be a pleasure writing these chapters for you sexy beasts, and until Zekky can get a new monitor, you’ll be sending your delicious OC’s to me,” The scarecrow said with a grin on his carved pumpkin face.
“... Isn’t Greentext illegal?” Cadence asked.
“Not if you use your… [url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbPWe9U4uPU]Imagination[/url]... also, here’s like… one… two… no wait, THREE more links. Have fun kiddies,” The scarecrow said coolly, leaning back in the chair. “... also, greentext’s only a no-no if you write the entire story in it, I think. Haven’t read the FAQ in a while,”