Older than Celestia herself, the Elements of Harmony have been passed down from handler to handler... And though Celestia and Luna's minds have have both long forgot what the Elements brought them, the true history behind them is eternal. A history of sacrifice, loyalty, and the intention of creating a world that two young princesses would be proud to carry on.
This is the story of the Ancient Elements of Harmony... The original seven members.
Art done by Ziom05
Where'd ya get the pic? And looks like its gun be good.
I remember this pic! I just can't remember the artist unfortunately oh well
Nice, going to enjoy this one
This could be good. The introduction of characters isn't in a way that I see often. It comes off feeling quite archaic but that might be a good thing depending on how the rest of the story goes.
As this could well be a fairly long story, do you have a plan? Have you planned out the entire story and plot points? This'll ensure you don't have a plot hole anywhere really. A mind map is quite handy as well.
Another thing - get an editor or proofreader. They'll improve your writing hugely by giving a second opinion and also they'll catch mistakes like this:
This should be 'possess'.
I quite liked that particular paragraph, though it came off archaic it's the same kind of stuff that makes things such as Kingdom Hearts likable.
Decent introduction, the rest of the story remains to be seen. Keep at it!
I don't know what is better, Lich Surprise or the ent deer
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/293/590/6f6.gif
-Probably change the ending here, sounds weird. Also, may have the wrong "bear"
mysterious
1938051 I have the plan already made. The ending is set, we just need to get there.
1938062
Good good. I hope it's a good journey as well.
Good! I cant wait to see what ya do!
Ok. I haven't read it yet, but I will. Though you should edit the preview. Right now it says; "Older then Celestia herself," It should actually be "Older than Celestia herself,".
The story looks fantastic, and the quality is amazing!! Definitely tracking!
I have no words for this prologue! Dash, help me here!:
Thanks!
Joking aside, this story promises to be amazing, and I was actually hoping some one would do a fic about this fanart. You sir can take all my moustaches: ...
1938024
Here you go.
Link and the picture itself.
The Ancient Elements of Harmony
th01.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2012/278/9/7/the_ancient_elements_of_harmony_by_ziom05-d5gv5ft.jpg
1940480 Thank you kindly sir.
This is going to be one epic ride.
As Admin of the Protect Celestia group I deem this one accepted. Thank you for sharing it.
hmmm...poem and music, calling for a Bass Choir?
Done.
can't wait to see where we go from here
Wow I can tell it's going to be an amazing story!
I love this story.
Cool, new update. They're gonna find a small surprise when they get there. Am I Right?
Edit: Aww, the update is gone
2148771 REDONE.
I've noticed that you were switching the gender of Surprise a lot.
This story is shaping up to look good, but I fear the ending of the chapter is leaving me to desire from the story more than enough.
A serious fic by overlord flinx? Hmm... I will try it.
2149309
. And I was right about the little surprise
I like it already, please do continue
Love it. love everything about it. (Espescially Surprise!) Moar please!
Yes, update!
This was an interesting, albeit short chapter. I liked it nevertheles. Keep it up!
Um... Where is everybody? I mean, I though a lot of people was waiting for this to update. Right? Y U No Comment?
*Sigh* Might as well give a little more of praise to the chapter. So far I like how you've portrayed each of the characters (As for this chapter):
Fenix is a gentle and unnasuming knight, though maybe a little gruffy; the way he treated Celestia and Luna, not with pity, but with kindness and respect, it tells lots about the character.
Whooves (note: I've never seen Dr. Who) is kind of a... not sure what's the word for that, for when someone feels deterred or somehow insulted when not taken to account; that can be funny at times, but that means he carries an ego with him, now that I think about it, it is one similar trait between him and RD (lol).
Surprise is... C'mon. She is awesome
As for Ban and Pallanen, none of them had had a lot of development so far. Ban seems like the typical silent character, which is always an interesting one, and the ent deer, if compared to the other four, is the sane one .
I am really enjoying this fic, so I hope it doesn't get cancelled. OVERLOR FLINX! Please don't cancel this story! One of us is still reading it!
2807896 Ban and P will get development later, I promise. We just need to set the ground for "the lessons".
*takes a drink of water*
*epic spit-take*
Whoa! That was a mighty-quicky update. One I appreciate, in fact.
Remember that in the previous chapter (which apparently nobody else has commented yet!) I mentioned how I don't want this story to be cancelled because of how epic it is/promises to be? Well, that fear happened today; with a far more advanced story (give it a look), and it kinda blows. So this updates helps a little.
But enough of that. Now on the chapter:
It is really good. The story is starting to move and we can now see a little more about why this characters are together and what is their goal. However... I would recommend longer chapters. Don't get me wrong, it has a horde of good points to your favor; but the extension you are using right now, the plot seems to be a little rushed. Not to mention that the chapter feels... empty. In all the chapters you've only dealt with one aspect of the story and only one. Okay, so you gave closure with the sprout sub-sub-plot (wich I'm totally calling that it'll be The Golden Oak Library), but that really was nothing. You could very easy extend a chapter by adding more dialogue between the characters, wich also will help to character development; or give more description to the attitude and reactions of the characters to add up on their personalities (and the cute-factor for Tia and Woona ). Please, keep in mind that this are only suggestions and that I'm not criticizing your skills, but I really recommend to do something to extend the chapters.
Mustaches to you
By the way, I'm trying to get support for TPoH, the story I mentioned before, so I would appreciate if you could give any help. PM me if interested for more details. Thanks
2819928 There shall be longer chapters. Each lesson they teach will be about 5-8k words in length.
Tell that to the guy or girl from Kingdoms of Almalur Reckoning he/she would laugh at u
ummm i like how the chars talk and all but it sometimes hard to follow idk if that just me or anyone else is having the problem.I have a hard time when people do applejacks voice and stuff, but great story.
2177954>>1938024>>1938035>>1938043>>1938051>>1938053>>1938054>>1938125 FYI: Updated. Sorry if I'm being pushy.
I have faith that this story will gain in popularity.
*Epic spit-take. Part II*
Again? Holy smoke pal!
The chapter is good, though I'm confused about the plot: Is there going to be an adventure or is it just the group teaching lessons to Celestia and Luna? I'm sorry, it's just that I don't know where the plot is going... scratch that, maybe that's a good thing. Keep up the good work!
this is very nice story. I especially like how im seeing the different styles of the group. nice work
Lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol
Good lord! This chapter was so hilariously awesome! I definetely love Surprise's character, I actually giggled with how funny you wrote her. Kudos for that. Didn't catch any typos, and that's always a good thing.
Also, since nobody else has, here are some Voice actors suggestions (the rest is pending):
Celestia:
Luna: Claire Corlett (she is younger in here, so I think it makes sense. DWI)
Fenix: Phil LaMarr/James Earl Jones
Pallanen:
Whoves: David Tennant (obvious choice)
Ban: Scott McNeil (again, obvous)
Surprise: Andrea Libman/Tara Strong (kinda hard this one actually, either of them would do)
Concept interested me, and the prose drew me in! I like the world building here, looking forward to more!
3063778
Fenix should be either Phil Lamaar or James Earl Jones
Pallanan should be Benedict Cumberbatch
And Whooves can only ever be David Tennant
3068493
I got to search for both LaMarr and Cumberbatch... I wasn't dissappointed. But now I can't decide between Mufasa and Jon Stewart
I would agree with Cumberbatch for Pallanen, but the only perfomance of him that I've seen was Khan in the recent movie, so I can't imagine him doing the embodiment of Kindness.
And I don't know anything about Doctor Who actually, so I just chose the current actor of the show. If Tennant is better, then I'll change it right now.
Thanks for the suggestion!
So... what was the answer to the riddle?
3068946
go watch the new Sherlock series from BBC, Cumberbatch makes an awesome Holmes.
As for the Doctor Who debate, Tennant just has a better voice, IMO
Oh, so they are in... and Celestia is going to... and that sprout in Trothelme is going to be...
I see what you are doing
Also, I liked the little bit of backstory for the other four... Bearers? It would be interesting to see how is the group's dynamic. Great chapter.
3161292
yes, and yes, and yes.
Way to catch up, silly filly.
3161292 When we get to Fenix, there will be action. Fenix recruited each member through a great deal of tests. Example: Ban is a warrior... He would only follow one that bested him in bare combat.
3161523
... I'm a guy though
And wait, I'm referring to the places (mountain, town, sprout) and what they'll become by the time the show takes place. What are you referring to?
3161677
... Take your time though, action scenes can be a pain in the as
3161706
I'm talking about the same things. what they are intended to be has been pretty obvious, especially the sprout, for a while. That's all.
3161677 makes me wonder what he put Surprise through...
Canterlot Mountain?