A Shadowed Moon

by The Lunar Mare

Mission

Shadow the Hedgehog walked down the main hallway of G.U.N HQ towards the command center to receive his next mission. Shadow had become a G.U.N agent about a year ago, and he had already become the top agent in the entire organization. It didn't really matter to him though, a mission was just a part of his routine now.

Shadow entered the central control room. Monitors displaying maps of the world, among other things, lined the walls. "Commander Tower." Shadow saluted.

"Agent Shadow," said Commander Tower. He returned Shadow's salute.

"What is the mission?" asked Shadow.

"We have located an energy source similar to the chaos emeralds, your mission is to transport to the energy source and report back with any information you can gather," said Commander Tower.

"Will Rouge and Omega be joining me on this mission?" asked Shadow.

"No, they have been assigned to other missions at this time," said Commander Tower.

"When does the mission begin?" asked Shadow.

"Immediately," said Commander Tower. "Report to the transport room A.S.A.P, dismissed,"

Shadow left the Command center and walked to the transport room. The room was empty except for a large, round platform in the middle and a control panel maned by an operator in one corner. G.U.N had salvaged this telporter from one of Eggman's old bases. Shadow stepped onto the platform and looked at the operator. "Ready for transport," said Shadow. The operator nodded and pulled a lever. Shadow disappeared in a flash of light. However, a red right light lit up on the control panel.

"Commander Tower," said the operator through an intercom. "We had a problem during transport,"

"Bring Agent Shadow back Immediately," said Commander Tower.

"I lost the signal, he's gone," said the operator.

Commander Tower turned off the intercom and paused for a second. "Transmit a message to The New Freedom Fighters," he said to one of the agents in the command center. "Inform them that their acquaintance Shadow, is M.I.A.,"

"Yes sir," said the agent.

On the Sky Patrol...

Sonic walked into the communications room, were Tails was working.

"Hey Sonic, nice to see ya," said Tails.

"Nice to see you too little buddy," said Sonic. "How have things been here?"

"Every things been good here, hows your were-hog control?"

"Better than it was the first time. Did we intercept any of Eggman's transmissions?" asked Sonic. "He's been laying low, might be planning something,"

"No all frequencies are quiet," said Tails. Then a light on the main receiver began to flash.

"Hey Im getting something now," said Tails "But its being sent to us on purpose,"

"Who's it from?" asked Sonic.

"G.U.N," replied Tails.

"Maybe its Shadow finally confessing that I'm faster than him," said Sonic sarcastically.

"Sorry Sonic, its a recored message, so you won't get to trash talk him," said Tails.

"Put it through Tails," said Sonic.

Talis pushed some buttons on the console and a image of Commander Tower appeared on the screen in front of them. "Freedom Fighters, we know that agent Shadow is an acquaintance of yours," said Commander Tower.

"He's more of a rival than an Acquaintance Commander," said Sonic.

Talis face palmed. "Sonic, its a recorded message, he can't hear you,"

"There was an incident during Agent Shadow's latest mission, I regret to inform you that he is currently M.I.A, and possibly K.I.A," said Commander Tower. The words "End of transmission," displayed on the screen in blue letters.

"Tails, does this mean Shadows dead?" asked Sonic.

"Not necessarily," siad Tails. "But it does mean it will take a very long time to find him, possibly even years,"

"We'd better tell the others, some of them really looked up to him, besides me of course,"

"Sonic, you shouldn't, never mind, ill get a meeting together," said Tails.

A few minuets later, in the Sky Patrol's main room...

"Everyone, I have some bad news," said Sonic. "Our ally, Shadow the Hedgehog, has gone M.I.A in his latest mission for G.U.N,"

"Do we know were he is?" asked Bunny Rabbit.

"No, but me and Tails are looking for him right now, and so is G.U.N," said Sonic.

"Lets hope he is alright, because after what he did for our planet, he deserves some help in return," said Sonic.

Everyone nodded. "Now lets get back to scrambleing some Eggman," said Sonic.

In Equestria

Princess Luna was walking through the Canterlot Castle's garden, stoping often to smell flowers. As she walked her silver horshoes made clinking noises when they made contact with the stone pathway.

Luna arrived at the center of the garden, were a large fountain was located. Luna sat down on a bench next to the fountain and closed her light blue eyes. Luna focused in the sounds around her. There was the water flowing in the fountain, the buzzing of insects, and the sound of a light breeze.

Suddenly the was a loud splash and Luna's face was sprayed with water. "WHO DARES GET US WET?" asked Luna as she opened her eyes.

It was then Luna saw a two legged, black and red, spiky creature lying in the fountain in front of her. The creature reached up and touched its ear as it opened its eyes. The creature quickly pulled its hand away from its ear as if it had been shocked. "Dam, com links broken," said the creature.

"WHO ART THOU, HOW HAVSET THOU COME HERE?" asked Luna.

The creature looked at Luna. "My name is Shadow, and what the hell is wrong with your voice?

"We are sorry, we are still in the habit of using the Royal Canterlot Voice when we should not," said Luna. "I am Princess Luna, Princess of the Night and co-ruler of Equestria,"

Then a guard came around a corner and saw Shadow. "Princess!" the guard drew his sword.

"Stand down, and fetch a towel, I cannot speak to him in his current state." Luna turned to Shadow. "Thou is a he, correct?" asked Luna.

Shadow got out of the fountain and nodded, causing some water spay off of him. "Now we will ask again," said Luna. "How havest thou come here?"

"I am an agent sent by the Guardian Unit of Nations, or G.U.N for short, to investigate a energy source coming form your world similar to my world's chaos emeralds," said Shadow. "Is everyone in your world a pony like you?"

"Nay, not all inhabitants of our world are ponies like us, but many are. But most of them, however, do not have both wings and a horn as we do," said Luna. "What are these Guardian Unit of Nations and Chaos Emeralds thou speakest of?"

"G.U.N is a military organization tasked with protecting the world I come from," said Shadow. "This is a Chaos Emerald." Shadow took out his green Chaos Emerald. "They are seven gems with mystic powers.

"Thine chaos emerald holds a great deal of power, similar to our world's elements of harmony," said Luna.

"Elements of harmony?" asked Shadow.

"The Elements of Harmony represent the six elements of friendship, loyalty, honesty, generosity, laughter, kindness and magic," said Luna. "The elements are currently wielded by six ponies, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Apple Jack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle, who is a princess and alicorn, like us" said Luna.

"I think the Elements are the energy source that I was sent to investigate, can I see them?," asked Shadow.

"We are sorry, but the location of the elements is a closely guarded secret," said Luna. "That is all the information we can give you to return with,"

"Well, there's a problem with that," Shadow pulled the broken com link out of his ear. "I have no way of informing G.U.N were I am so they can transport me home," The guard returned with the towel and Shadow dried himself off.

"Twilight Sparkle is an expert in technology, perhaps she can repair thy communications device," said Luna.

It was then Princess Celestia teleported to Luna's side.

"Hello Lulu, oh who is this?" asked Celestia.

"Hello sister, this is Shadow," Luna gestured toward him. "He is from another world, but I do not believe he means any harm. It appears he is trapped here in Equestria until he can contact his home, I believe Twilight will be able to assist him in that endeavor,"

"Hello Shadow, I am Luna's sister Celestia, and I rule Equestria beside her. It is nice to meet you," said Celestia.

"Likewise," siad Shadow.

Luna explained what Shadow had told her to Celestia. "Oh we forgot to ask, but what manner of creature are you?" asked Luna.

"Im a hedgehog," siad Shadow.

"You are unlike any hedgehog we have encountered," said Luna. "Sister, he has nowhere to live, may he stay in the castle until he can return home?"

"Alright," said Celestia. She turned to the guard from earlier. "Please escort Shadow to one of the castle guest rooms,"

"Yes princess," said the guard.

Celestia watched Shadow leave with the guard towards the castle. "I do not trust him," said Celestia.

"Why not, he seems to have peaceful intentions Tia," said Luna.

"Luna, he wanted to know the location of the elements, does that not seem suspicious to you?"

"I see your point Tia, but tis too early to judge him.

Author's Note:

Good God, I FINALY started this thing. I takes a long time for me to write, so be patient please. Anyways, hope you guys like it.

Comments

[PhycoKrusk]

Well, well, well, what do we have here???

Two things right off: "Chaos Emeralds" and "Elements of Harmony" are proper nouns, so should have capitalizations as you see me using.

Otherwise, it has a lot of telling, and not a whole lot of showing; telling works best from a first-person perspective, but since this story uses third-person, more showing would be better. Shadow is extremely forthcoming to Luna with information, which isn't necessarily a problem, except that he almost immediately reveals the details of his mission to her. He also spills a lot of details about the Chaos Emeralds, which arguably takes away his best defense in an unfamiliar world.

I am, however, pleased to see you took the advice regarding Luna's speech, and that definitely feels pretty solid.

On the whole, the story would benefit from some editing and some tweaks, and I get the sense you don't have a lot of prior writing experience, although I think you've hit on a solid idea. It reads less like a narrative story and more like a script for a movie or a play, and a little more fleshing out with the writing would help cinch everything together. The pacing is also very, very fast, which makes the narrative a bit jarring.

The dialogue needs work, definitely; I'd like to see more Sonic Colors, and less Sonic Adventure.

I have more suggestions and such, but this is running long; a PM would probably be more appropriate if you'd like to hear them.

[TheRealTwilyFan]

Okay, review time! Good start so far. Shadow seems like he's got the situation covered and Luna has a good start greeting him. I like how Sonic still has his attitude about Shadow. I hope if Sonic ever encounters Shadow he'll call him 'faker', not as an insult but more of a friendly tease. I would've liked it if the villain was introduced at the end, ya know to set up the conflict. Shadow still manages to maintain his personality and doesn't seem too surprised about talking ponies, and I like how Celestia has a uneasy feeling about Shadow. Well, once again, he is Shadow.

Nice work. Can't wait to see more. You could at least work on the grammar here and there, but I understand that writing this stuff can be hard.

And for some reason I hear Jason Griffith as Shadow in this. Because I think his voice suits so well in this story unlike a certain Thornton I know...

[The Lunar Mare]

5350837
Thanks, The way villain is introduced will kinda be like metal was in sonic heroes, with little teases at how he is.

[The Lunar Mare]

5350787
I think ill have shadow just say that the chaos emeralds are similar to the emelents and thats it, you know cut out that other part. As for the mission, Shadow was sent to STUDY the elements, not steal them, that would probably be his second mission, and is what Tia thinks he's doing on his first one. Yes, I don't have a lot of writing experience, and will try to balance out showing and telling in the next chapter.

[The Lunar Mare]

5350837
Aslo remember when he first meet Fiest, he wasn't that shocked, lets just say he's seen weirder things than talking ponies.

[The Lunar Mare]

5350787 Yes I would greatly enjoy your help. I think it would help the show-tell if i combined many of my ver short paragraphs in longer ones with more detail.

[IceDragonKing]

Looking forward to see the next chapter. It is an interesting one but not yet like it.

Is this story about how Princess Luna going to make her empire love her again only or more?

[The Lunar Mare]

5351666 This story less about Luna improving her public image, but more about making friends with Shadow and them both finding empathy for each other, with an epic battle thrown in!

[IceDragonKing]

5351711
I think I would to still go as tracking this story. But when I saw something that is very touching. Then, I will press favorite.

And please don't be mad at what I said. I just do what did my mind told me to do.

[The Lunar Mare]

5353057 Its alright

[The Lunar Mare]

5356696 Thanks, I'm on the second chapter right now

[Shadicbro Brony]

Very nice. Bring up chapter 2 soon bro.

[The Lunar Mare]

5391649 2 is going to be probably the longest, but I'm on it

[Word Worthy]

If you're interested, I could edit for you. I've got a pretty decent background in writing Luna's distinctive Elizabethan-like dialect, and might be of help.

[Word Worthy]

"WHO ARE THOU, HOW HAVSET THOU COME HERE?"

Who art thou, how hast thou come here?