A Pony's Rumination

Pisces Pieces was walking home from work when he had a thought.

Everything changed when humanity came. No, that wasn’t right. The sun still rose at the same time, the streets still ran the same way, and he still couldn’t cook to save his life. Plus, that sounded like something out of a children’s cartoon that his daughter would watch.

Many things changed when humanity came. Some of those changes were pretty significant.

The idea of democracy had been generally viewed as unnecessarily complex at best and dangerous talk at worst. That a whole species had come to the general conclusion that democracy was the best form of government was a shock to ponies, both in academia and across the street. It sparked debates about faith in singular power, the tendencies of pony nature, the rights of ponies, and more. To say that the nobility felt threatened was a gross understatement. If Pisces could have seen the future, he would have known he would live to see the publishing of the Caballo Carta, the Nighttime Revolution, and Equestria’s first election. But that wasn’t the most significant change.

The Internet had forever changed communication in Equestria. Yes, there were magical books that could sent messages far away, but those were hardly commonplace. The first few servers set up were already almost taxed to capacity day in, day out. Ponies just couldn’t seem to tear themselves away from the wealth of… everything online, even while struggling to handle keyboards or touchpads made for humans. Library attendance shot up, as libraries were the only places to find access to the internet. If Pisces could have seen the future, he would have known he would live to see fiber-optics span all of Equestria, the first viral pony videos, and leaked documents about dream-spying. But that wasn’t the most significant change.

Equestria had a lot of potential, both in resources and magic. Everyone knew it… including those with a lot of money. Already, industrial factories were being set up across the country, employing countless ponies. There were fears of dumping, outsourcing, and cartels ruining the interdimensional economy. The bit-to-dollar conversion rate still hadn’t stabilized. Humans were lobbying for lower tariffs. Ponies were lobbying for more protection of domestic industries. Even agriculture was changing. Only the smallest of farms hadn’t made the change to tractors, harvesters, and chemical pesticides. Growth hormones and preservatives were the talk of the day. If Pisces could have seen the future, he would have known he would live to see the establishment of the Canterlot Stock Exchange, child labor laws, and Ponyville into suburbia. But that wasn’t the most significant change.

Religion had been, at best, a ritual passing for most ponies. But there were definitely some humans that were determined to change that. A small church had been set up in the town square, and there was a service every Sunday morning, led by a human pastor. Pisces had ducked in a couple times himself, out of little more than curiosity. But already, pony-specific sects of major Earth religions had sprung up, and even one or two Equestrian minor cults had gained a far greater following. Moral standards were slowly changing. If Pisces could have seen the future, he would have known he would live to see the Pope visit Equestria, the Great Magic vs. Religion debate, and a resurgence of televangelists. But that wasn’t the most significant change.

War was mostly (and thankfully, still was) an alien concept to ponies. Oh, yes, there was a guard force, and crime existed, but it was something no pony put much serious thought to. It had taken just once incident where a human had shot up a school full of fillies to change that. The Royal Guard was now trained in the use of firearms, and most police ponies had taken some classes on Earth on how to deal with an armed shooter. Gone were the days where ponies left their doors unlocked, and every sapient being you met was a friend. If Pisces could have seen the future, he would have known he would live to see the creation of the Royal Armed Forces, pony-mounted machine guns, and the first inter-dimensional war. But that wasn’t the most significant change.

No, Pisces knew what the most important change that humans brought.

“Hey, dad. Mom left dinner in the fridge. Said she had to run the grocery store for something.”

And that change was little Adrianna, adopted a few years ago. (He insisted on calling her little, despite being half her height.) He didn’t know much about her past: the social workers had mentioned that she had been moved for her own safety, but she hadn’t opened up to him about it yet. He wouldn’t push her. She was sixteen now, and he trusted her judgment. But she had been the biggest bundle of joy he had ever had enter his life, perhaps only behind his wife. Of course, there had been challenges. She had been teased a bit in school, she did have a taste for meat, and the lack of human contact she had couldn’t be good for her. But all that seemed to pale in comparison to the opportunity to give her a new lease on life… and him a chance to finally have a family. Pisces had been born sterile, and while his wife loved him all the same, it still pained the two that they would never have a child. Adoption was rare in Equestria, since ponies very rarely had reasons to leave their families. If Pisces could have seen the future, he would have known he would live to see Adrianna graduate from Yale, move to New Jersey, and marry a doctor. But that wasn’t important right now. What was important was, right now, he had a family.

Yes, Pisces Pieces knew what the most important change that humans brought. He chuckled. They had brought proof that, even across time and space, there was friendship and love.

Author's Note:

And so is my first... piece. Less a plot and more a thinking, perhaps, but still my first literary foray into the wonderful world of My Little Pony.

831 views

Comments ( 10 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 10
- Newest First
- Oldest First

Scootareader

Scootareader #1 · Oct 24th, 2014 · · ·

In your short description:

A lot of things have changed in Equestria since the humans came.

In your long description:

One day, he looks back on how life has changed ever since the humans came.

Based on these sentences, I'm guessing it's pony-human hybrids.

MetaSkipper

MetaSkipper #2 · Oct 24th, 2014 · 2 · ·

5180949 I am glad my word choice amused you.

Leingod

Leingod #3 · Oct 26th, 2014 · · ·

I like this a lot. You don't shy away from the negative aspects of human contact like crazed gunmen, the loss of innocence in regards to the concepts of violence and war, environmental concerns, etc. You also don't try to ignore or downplay the positive aspects, like the spread of knowledge and freedom (but I will point out that the human species has not, as a whole or in general, agreed on capitalism being the best form of government. Several countries have, North America and much of Western Europe among them, but definitely not the whole species), and you finish it off by pointing out the friendship and (platonic) love that can occur between the different species and how, for the narrator anyway, that seems to be more than enough to justify both the good and bad. A very uplifting point of view, and one that I think anyone who dreams of meeting alien life can feel very strongly.

MetaSkipper

MetaSkipper #4 · Oct 26th, 2014 · · ·

5188179
Sakes alive, if you only said you liked it a good deal, I would have been vindicated enough.

If I may be pedantic, if you're talking about me portraying democracy being the globally accepted best government system, I would suggest that almost every major country at least pays lip service to the ideals of free elections. If you're talking about me portraying as capitalism being the best market system, that wasn't really my intention, but write what you know, and I know the American Industrial Revolution and Inside Job.

But that's me being pedantic. Thank you for the kind words and the favorite!

Leingod

Leingod #5 · Oct 27th, 2014 · · ·

5189263
I have been far too willing to correct people on confusing their terms in the past to be at all mad about you doing the same to me.

Cryosite

Cryosite #6 · Mar 16th, 2015 · 1 · 1 ·

I don't recall how long ago this story was added to my group, but if it was a long time I apologize hollowly for that delay.

I'll say up front that I don't like Human in Equestria(HiE) stories. I understand full well that it is an incredibly popular section of the fandom, with thousands of fans, thousands of stories, and that it is such a huge and diverse subsection that within such a broad scope is a staggering array of different styles and tones of stories. It would be terribly unfair to dismiss a story simply for being HiE, as there are some incredibly talented writers who have love and passion for what they write. Between reading a sampling and through general osmosis I've been unable to avoid HiE, and I have a fair idea of some of the popular sub-subsections. I'd go on to explain what it is about HiE stories I dislike, but that explanation is more suitable to a later section of the review, as this story showcases something quite well and it is directly relevant to the review itself, rather than this preface where I explain my biases and things.

On to the story then!

The first thing I noticed was that the main character is a pony. Pisces Pieces is rather clever for a name. I'm not sure anypony would be so cruel as to name their foal that, but there are plenty of canon and toy-canon names that form a wide array of names that this certainly feels like a fitting member of. Granny Smith would be another name that I have trouble believing anypony would be so cruel as to inflict on their child. Try to say it 5 times fast out loud though. Pisces Pieces Pisces Pieces Pisces Pieces Pisces Pieces Pisces Pieces. Even just reading it is visually like a tongue twister.

Where was I? Oh yes. For a HiE story, we have a main character who is not only a pony, but a remarkably likeable and relatable one at that. So far this story has bucked two depressingly common faults of the stereotype that lingers about HiE like that clingy, oily musk you find has permeated your clothes and hair if you attend a convention. That hideous and health-hazardous mix of BO from large numbers of fans with poor hygene in close proximity and often in sweltering heat that central AC simply can't keep up with.

Passing grammar. Nothing stood out as distracting errors. I've apparently hit a fairly lucky streak of stories lately that have been free of random typos that any decent spellchecker could catch, meaning hopefully people are taking that token bit of time and effort to actually use these tools. None of the sentences really stood out as awkward to parse. There may well be errors lurking about, but if there are, I doubt you'd get complaints on them from most readers. I am no expert on grammar, and am only slightly better at it than the average person myself, but I do tend to catch errors slightly better than the average as well.

On to the bad. This is the section you probably have been waiting for, or dreading.

Lets get the HiE and mixing of worlds thing out of the way. I, like many others, am a fan of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I like the characters in it. I have favorites which are totally irrelevant to this review. I like the world. I like the feel and tone of the show. I, and I like to think at least that there are many others too, like to explore more of this world. It is well-understood that the show is never going to cover some areas and topics, either because they don't fit outright, or because there will never be enough screentime to depict everything that could make it on the show. I have a pretty broad range of tastes when it comes to this exploration, so this is by no means me saying that fanfics should be written as if they fit in only that last category, where they could easily be episodes of the show if only the writers of the show had the same idea and/or the time to actually show it.

I also, like many fans, live on Earth. I have a day to day life with concerns, trials, tribulations, successes, and failures. I'm plenty familiar with this world, and while I do like to explore several of its mysteries, there is quite a bit of it that I am just not as keen on as I am the Equestrian offerings. Things like government, taxes, religion, wars, crime, and the general attitude of a lot of people. Ponyland does of course already include a great deal of material from the real world in order to be relatable at all. I feel there is a line where too much more is indeed too much, and I understand that for many that line is probably high enough to include a fic like this, thus the popularity of HiE.

This story does depict quite a few of the things brought in by this contact with the human dimension as mere curiosities to Pisces Pieces, others as horrid, and most as somewhat startling at least. Honestly though, the idea of religion entering Equestria makes my skin crawl. Some person going to Cheerilee's class and shooting the place up is horrid.

Gone were the days where ponies left their doors unlocked...

That line of text right there captures the awful. It hints at the changes to Equestria that happen/happened in this story. That is the soul-crushing weight of what makes our reality the sort of place that we want to escape from, preferably to a magical land filled with brightly-colored quadrupedal marshmallows. The place has its share of hazards, ranging from dragons and demons to swarms of flying tribbles to bunny stampedes and butterflies strong enough to carry a pony. But even with shady characters like Flim and Flam, vengeful braggarts like Trixie Lulamoon, and pompous assholes like Prince Blueblood, there is still that sense of safety and peace where you can at least trust your neighbors (lol, horsepun).

Bad things happening in a story isn't enough alone to dislike a story though. Bad things happening is kind of a major part of having any story at all. Conflict is what drives characters to be heros. Conflict is what makes strained friendships resolve into stronger ones. Hardships are what make us appreciate our vacations.

Which brings is finally to why I dislike this story. There is no conflict. There is no story. It's some guy noticing some stuff, then we finish off with some lovey-dovey observations about his adopted daughter. Clearly there is enough stuff going on in this version of the world that some kind of story could be told. How about the early part of Pisces Pieces' marriage to his wife, discovery of his infertility, and the conflict that brought up? How about their decision to adopt, and how/why they came to the circumstances of adopting one of these humans? How about that backstory for this adopted human teenager that was plopped into the worspew? Slice of Life not exciting enough for you? You mention some wars. You mention a school shooting. You mention the installation of the internet, the industrialization of farms across all of Equestria. You mention a change of government.

There are tons of stories you could have told. Instead you were either too lazy, or too timid to tell them. So you plopped down nearly the minimum wordcount needed to be able to publish something on Fimfic, and padded it with some description of events vaguely experienced. Hell, many of these events haven't even happened yet. What do they have to do with Pisces Pieces? Apparently nothing, other than he is some random nobody in the world they eventually happen in. He plays no part in causing or preventing them.

So basically you spent about a thousand words shitting on Equestria, had no story to tell with this change and turmoil, and you've seriously wasted not just my time, but the time of everyone who has read this, your own time, and the time of everyone who reads this review in order to learn that they ought not waste their time further by reading this collection of words.

It is frankly depressing to see that at the time of my writing this, 17 people actually thumbs-upped this. That's nearly 20 people. Nearly two whole tens. You'd need to take your shoes off to count them all. I can only hope they're the sort of people that are so crippled by their desire to be nice to everyone that they can't even anonymously downvote something that is this utterly pointless and lacking in value.

MetaSkipper