Strange monsters are starting to show up around the city of Manehattan. Vinyl Scratch stumbles upon the Noise Driver and finds herself caught in the middle of battle for the fate of Manehattan. Can the Riders save the city from the Changelings? Who is this mysterious Rewind character? Can he be trusted, or does he have a more nefarious end goal in mind?
This is a crossover of MLP and Kamen Rider. Mind you, mainly most of the Kamen Rider tropes and such. I'm not bringing any pre-existing Riders in here, though there will be quite a few references thrown in here. I'm technically a new fan. So far I've only seen most the Neo-Heisei Riders. I apologize ahead of time, this is my first fanfic or any kind of writing of the sort.
EDIT: Temporary art change again. I thought this looked fairly close to the Flight Driver's transformed state. Not staying though.
Grammar could use work and the structure, however, since it is your first fic, I kinda glazed over those minor issues. I enjoyed it and I await more.
I am really enjoying this, you are using the Kamen Rider inspiration very well. And i like the characters so far. Vinyl is a bit rough around the edges, but she is still willing to do the right thing even if she isn't really intent on being the hero. The monster concept is also interesting, these Creatures aren't just some random creatures from another dimension, but humans who have been caught in a trap. And, you have a interesting set up with Triexie and Vinyl living together and both being riders yet not knowing it yet. And i really like the form of the driver, as being a headphone.
Just keep striving to improve in your writing, and do your best. Overall, good job, please continue.
Hm...yeah, I'll read this.
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Hey, thanks. The inspiration for Vinyl's Driver actually came from my current headset actually. I'm using a slightly older model of the PDP Afterglow Headset. It's a white headset with glowing blue sides and headband. At first, I thought "hot damn, these are pretty much Vinyl Scratch headphones!" At some point after I finished KR Decade, I remembered that the Riders in KR Hibiki didn't use a belt to transform, but special objects (mainly instruments in their case). That pretty much justified the idea of using them as her Driver for me, and her headphones are just straight up the PDP headset. The Changelings actually fit rather perfectly with so many things I wanted to do. The idea for the Changelings came from the Yummies from KR OOO and just the MLP Changelings in general. The Changelings will be getting leagues better very soon.
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5081714 Great! Oh and after OOO I suggest Kamen Rider Gaim, it's considered by alot of people to be one of the best Kamen Rider series (including me). It breaks away from the usual Heisei conventions like having a 2-Episode Arc each weeks and builds up it's story each episode. Plus rider vs rider fights are VERY common (and awesome).
AGH! I made one small mistake! Fixed a small typo! It's the Claw Driver that went active at the end, not the Power Driver. Sorry! That was a small relic left over after a small change in Drivers happened during early stages.
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Argh. See, I already promised a friend I'd watch Kabuto after I finished OOO. Oddly enough, I DID see two episodes of Gaim. I actually used the whole aspect of calling them "Armored Riders" from Gaim as opposed to calling them "Masked Riders". I'll hit Gaim after Kabuto.
5083748 Kabuto is pretty good. Although it's a shame that the "clock up" function gets used less as the series goes on.
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That just sounds odd considering how OP that ability would seem to be. Then again, it seems like a lot of really OP abilities in these series' tend to be thrown out the window when the writers actually realize how OP they are. Holy SHIT Luna/Trigger was so OP in Double and they rarely used it. Same with Fang/Joker. Luna/Trigger lost to ONE Dopant, and they got really downtrodden about that. Yo, that is a 9/1 matchup. You lost to ONE guy. Don't let that stop you from starting EVERY fight with that and pulling that trigger until your finger bleeds mang!
Wizard kinda did the same thing, but got worse when they started throwing just about EVERYTHING out the window. Beast? Yeah! Starts quickly gettin his ass whooped all day every day. Drago Timer? Neato! Rarely uses it. Beast gets Hyper form? DUDE! Rocks for like, two episodes and then goes back to being the punching bag...gawd I really wish they didn't sideline him so hard near the end...Beast was so friggen great...
5083808 Yeah, it seems like alot of kamen rider series have a tendency to do that. One exception would be Kiva, since when he got his emperor form he used it ALL the time (from what ive heard i haven't watched Kiva), apparently it was due to the normal form of Kiva being extremely heavy compared to his final form.
5084109 You're right after Kiva got Tatsulot, he used original Kiva all of 4 times afterwards. Once in the final episode of Decade, again in all riders vs Dai Shocker, Again in Super Hero Taisen and finally in OOO Den-O All Rider, Let's Go Kamen Rider
5086231 Wait so he didn't even use his original form in his own series after he got his power up?
Wow, that costume must have been REALLY heavy.
These two chapters were pretty good. Out of the two of them I think i like the chapter focusing on Rainbow dash more. It will be interesting on what role she will play in the future.
I'm liking story so far. It's like Kabuto. Also, when does Octavia appear.
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Thanks. Also, come on now. I can't be tellin ya what's gonna happen next or when someone's going to appear.
.....I've been playing way too much Megaman, because I'm asking will there be a secondary rider named Rock?
Rainbow sure schooled Twilight, but I guess it's to be suspected. At least Twilight know to not only rely on her Rider powers. And I wonder what role Gilda will play in the story. I can see Gilda doing the opposite of what the Rainbow intends to be as a Rider. Like instead of using her powers to save people like a hero, she would mug random people in dark alleys for their money or whatever while wearing a dark cloak to conceal her rider form. But only time will tell.
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...m'not gonna lie. Huge fan too. And the is a bit of influence on this too. However, having a veritable Harp Note in here is as far as I intend to take that. Sorry, there will be no "Rock" in here.
You should join the Toku Ponies group
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Of course Twi got her butt whooped. Girl never been in a real fight. There was no way she was gonna win against an athletic person like Dash.
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I'll get on that tomorrow. Going to bed the second I drop this comment.
Structure is improving! Some grammar errors but I ain't gonna tell ya shizz. Get your editors like I do to point out stuff.
Much mysteries to be had! And Vinyl is getting used to her rider powers, epicness will indeed ensue.
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I'm glad to hear that. However, I don't have an editor. >__>
Sadly, at the moment, it's just me.
i think i should point something out here, u said u had only seen Hensei era Riders...the only Hensei era Rider on that list uve watched is Decade...the others are all considered Neo-Hensei Riders...those who came after Decade...in order, W, OOO, Fourze, and Wizard. after Wizard is Kamen Rider Gaim...calling on the powers of ancient warriors...and fruit...i wish i was making that last part up!
I like that moment at the end where Vinyl is talking to Fancy Pants about how he should see how his efforts are paying off. And ,man, poor Rainbow, that's harsh.
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Sorry about the mistake. Though, I have seen the first two episode of Gaim. I know of the fruit shenanigans. Will have to hop back into that at some point.
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Yeh. I enjoyed writing that too. Also, I SWEAR Rainbow is my favorite Mane 6 pony. I do feel really bad about making everything so shitty for her. I really do. But I gotta leave my favorite pony arguments aside for the sake of story.
Man that would be really messed up if Featherweight actually goes through with the blackmail. And Sunset shimmer must be very strong is she is that powerful in just her human form.
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Yep. Gotta have that rival that stomps all over them until they eventually get strong enough to overcome them. Also, to be kinda fair, kickin Twi's ass in human form isn't too hard. Stretchin them brain and eye muscles doesn't really do much for you in the combat department.
5144386 indeed, although Sunset is more of a straight up villain than a mere rival. Twilight is going to have to become stronger very soon in she doesn't want to be outclassed by everyone she faces.
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Twi will get there. She has a more unique way of dealing with her lack of combat experience.
5127589 you forgot about the new guy. Kamen Rider Drive. He also reference Kobuto and Faiz
5157054 well, i havnt seen any of Drive, so i cant say...
So, commissioning a friend for some art and having my friend help me with editing. Next chapter might take a few days to throw up. Sorry about the wait, but just bare with me please. As cool as that Kabuto armored Dash is, I kinda don't want that giving the wrong message.
I'm watching Kabuto now, and today, I remembered a comment Fang Driver made. HOLY SHIT! I accidentaly A LOT of Kabuto! I SWEAR I hadn't watched it beforehand, nor did I know anything about it until like, a few weeks ago (except for his "Grandma said this" spiel). This kinda blew my mind a little bit. That aint changing anything though. I'm fairly certain the similarities will only lie in the Changelings and G.U.A.R.D. and what not. Also, ohmigawd I love the voice of their Drivers. 1-2-3! RIDER KICK!
hmmmn, Henshin! <"henshin..."> Cast Off! <"Cast Off...Change, Dragon...">
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Speakin o which, I just got to Gatack. I am so glad to see Kagami seriousing the fuck up again. Not likin' SaSword though.
5310887 well, ive never actually seen any of Kabuto beside a few clips myself, but i know the basics of the system...
ok, whats with the repeat? and by that, i mean the fact that the chapter repeats itself after its done...
5833532 WELP! That explained the word count! I thought I had somehow managed to go overboard! It seems I screwed up and pasted the final version I wrote on GDocs in front of the first version I wrote on Fimfiction. Thanks for catching that for me. I kinda pasted it, hit publish and went to bed. Sorry for that screw up. Things are now properly italicized and all that. ~___~
ok, what is up with Gilda? i know every series has to have their 'black sheep' Rider, but the way this is shaping up, were looking at a damn Rider War scenario, and those r never fun!
Nice Dillion Rolling Western reference there. While visually he resembles Braeburn, ironically his personality is how you presented Big Mac here. Including both the slient treatment and having to be spoken for thing. Loving how things are coming to a head here. I know I am really late on the bandwagon for reading this now, but I still enjoy this all the same. Just had to say my piece. RIDE ON!
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Oh hey thanks. Glad you're liking it so far. Hope you continue to like it as it continues.
Call me silly, only Kamen Rider I've seen was the original 1970's Kamen Rider Ichigo/Ni-go. It was awesome, even with the crap special effects, and hokey villains powered by nazi superscience. No joke, SHOCKER used Nazi science to make their cyborg villains, including Hongo Takeshi/Kamen Rider Ichigo himself.
Went with the Rider ending for my playthrough of Chroma Squad. And yes, I made my own headcanon, Kouma Sentai Ponyranger
Strangely, and fitting since she is Best Pony (and I honestly didn't know she'd be picked..) My Luna ended up the Rider.
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Bruh. I'm also playing Chroma Squad. Been a bit slow through, but I'm loving the ever loving crap out of it. Looking forward to replaying for the other two storylines/endings. I'd love to gush about the story so far, but I don't wanna spoil anything for anyone.
i think i should point something out here, because no one else has...u have Big Mac being hearing impaired and yet he used an ear piece audio communication device...i think the state u were thinking of was 'mute' not 'deaf'. if Big Mac was using a radio communicator then his hearing is fine, he just cant talk
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Yes. He's mute. Did I say "deaf" somewhere? If so, I'll fix that.
Can you at least provide a visual profile of Vynil's armor? Is it the picture on the cover?
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Fun story, that's actually the current reason why I haven't put up the next chapter yet. My ability to draw is pretty awful. Mind you, I've never really put in the time to practice and all that good stuff. My friend and editor Mani-Roar now lives a bit farther away from me now and with the issues with my current vehicle now being a screaming metal death trap, I can't risk going that far out to see him. I have to get him to at least come close, and then there's work to schedule around. But I've been trying to find a day where we can sit down and he would help me get at least a basic sketch of Vinyl, and possibly the others so I could hand them to another friend (Brotha Kyo, fantastic artist, check him out) and commission him to do a full color drawing of it/them. Right now, it's just been a hassle to find the time and place. I know I already mentioned the current cover art being temp like, forever ago, and I'm trying my best now to fix that. But trust me, I'm working on that. I hope to at least have the sketch's done sometime soon.
And as far as the current cover art, it's more Rainbow's transformed state, but even that's temporary art (though I'd like to think it looks about right).